


Aranyhíd

by blue_madness, DreamsWanderer



Series: Golden Bridges [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Romance, Implied Sexual Content, Invisible Kingdom | Revelation Route, Multi, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rare Pairings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:56:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 89,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9481859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_madness/pseuds/blue_madness, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamsWanderer/pseuds/DreamsWanderer
Summary: An untranslatable Hungarian word, “aranyhíd" is defined as the glistening reflection of the sun on the ocean.When Garon orchestrated the Cheve Incident, he wasn’t only planning on murdering the Hoshidan King, but also on laying his hands on a specific Dragon Blood child. But how can he be so sure that the child he tore from the King’s cooling corpse is the one he wanted?From the latest chapter:But had he told him, the Crown Prince wouldn’t have headed out with an army, opting for a diplomatic party instead. And King Garon wouldn’t get the war he craved – the war that he, his faithful and resourceful Iago, had spent so much time preparing. So of course, he hadn’t breathed a word about the message.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Cheve Incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Japanese) ___  
>  _A righteous, miserable anger, a frustration and despair over a situation that seems terrible but cannot be changed (like corruption in a government, or a friend’s bad treatment) =_

**❝Hi Fun Kou Gai❞**

* * *

 

The water stung against his wounds when Saizo rolled off the bridge and into the river that run through the city of Cheve. He laid still in the water, allowing the currents to slip him away from the still raging conflict, and out of sight of the Nohrian soldiers.

_Liars._

The Obsidian King had promised to talk of peace, but had greeted them with sharpened arrows and gleaming axes instead. He had told King Sumeragi that his own son, young Crown Prince Xander, would attend, as a proof of good intentions, but he neglected to mention that the child would be armed to the teeth as well. Sumeragi would have never brought his own children along, had he suspected treachery of that caliber.

_Murderers._

The Marble King had fallen. Hoshido had lost his light. A woman, now to be crowned Queen Regent, had lost her husband. Four children had lost their father. He had lost his battle, failed his duty.

But there was still something he could do. He had heard their plot slip from the smirking lips of that disgusting snake of a mage: they were after a child.

_Monsters._

He wouldn’t allow it. They had killed his king, but they weren’t going to harm the royal family any farther. It was his duty to protect them – even if he hadn’t even turned ten yet. It was what his father would want, what he was training him for.

When the river turned the corner, Saizo grabbed a protruding root and pulled himself out of the water. The cut on his arm stung, the tear in his skin burning as his muscles stretched, but he gritted his teeth against the pain. He could only hope there was still time.

From corner to corner, Saizo slipped along the walls of the houses like a shadow, completely unnoticed – young as he was, he was already one of the most skilled ninjas of the eastern kingdoms, the pride of Igasato. He was looking for a very specific building, one he and his twin brother had visited with his father on their arrival to Cheve, while they were scouting out possible safe houses –  just in case things went downhill. It looked like his father’s instinct had been right, once again. Saizo was sure to find Kaze there, hopefully with the royal children.

He found the window to the basement of the forge and slipped in.

As soon as his feet landed on the cobblestones of the floor, something slammed into him, tackling him to the ground. Saizo welcomed the attack: it meant his twin brother was there, keeping guard, and that the place was indeed safe. However, he couldn’t hold back a gasp when sharp steel brushed against his neck.

«Kaze, don’t! It’s me!» he growled, and the weight pinning him down lifted, the kiss of the shuriken’s blade vanished.

«S-Saizo?» his twin brother stuttered, clearly overwhelmed. Saizo’s throat tightened unpleasantly. «Forgive me, brother, I overreacted. I thought you were an enemy.»

He put a hand on Kaze’s shoulder, steadying him. «You did well, brother. I am proud to have found you on guard and ready to protect the royal family.»

At that, Kaze seemed to relax a bit: praise from his twin was rare, reassuring, and very much welcome in that moment. It helped him clear his mind. «Of course. Father already collected the High Prince, he is bringing him to safety as we speak. He left me here to guard the girls until his return.»

Saizo sighed a breath he hadn’t realized he had been holding. So he had made it in time.

The aforementioned girls were huddled in a dark corner of the room, their similar blonde hair mingling as they sat curled against one another. They were roughly a year apart in age – the elder being five, the younger being four – but in that moment they seemed even younger, helpless as they were.

His sense of duty burning hot in his chest, Saizo approached the two and firmly pried the younger from the elder’s hold. Kaze was immediately at her side, soothing her when she tried to get a hold of Saizo’s injured arm to stop him.

«No!» she wailed, her heart pounding at the sight of her little sister taken out of her embrace. «What are you doing? Where are you taking her?!»

Even Kaze raised a worried eyebrow at him, hugging the writhing five-year-old closer. «Brother?»

«We have our duty, Kaze.» he offered as the sole explanation, making his way towards the window he had snuck in from, the little girl squirming in his arms as she tried to slip away to return to her sister. «Protect the royal family. So stay here, and protect the Princess.»

Kaze swallowed thickly, clearly uncomfortable with the choice that was being made before him, but still brought a trembling hand to press a damp cloth to the mouth of the crying child in his arms. She fell asleep almost instantly, her protests silenced by the mild drug that imbued the cloth.

«If our father returns before I do, take the Princess and tell him I’ll meet you where it’s safe.» and with that, he was back on the streets of Cheve, the girl’s hand clutched firmly into his own.

She hadn’t even said a word of complaint, the only attempts to get away from him being the occasional tugs to go back to the forge’s basement whenever Saizo stopped to check around a corner before proceeding. It was almost like she knew – she knew that her future was that of being a retainer to the girl she called sister but wasn’t, and that a retainer’s life never came before that of her liege.

Saizo slowed down as he approached the heart of the conflict, where the battle still raged: the cobblestones were littered with bodies; the rotting stench of blood, entrails and death made him wrinkle his nose as the girl behind him slapped a hand on her nose and mouth, tears stinging her eyes. He brought closer to the corner behind which he was hiding, and pointed.

King Sumeragi’s body laid in the middle of the street, countless arrows protruding from his limbs. Next to him, the corpse of his other retainer, his father’s partner, who had jumped between his liege and the storm of arrows as the first dart had sunk in the King’s flesh. There were more bodies around them, but that part of the battle ground was momentarily safe: the Hoshidan troops had made a human wall before it, hoping to drive the Nohrians away in order to collect the King’s body and give it a proper burial.

The girl recognized Sumeragi, and Saizo silenced her scream before it could leave her lips.

_Not yet._

And then the building they were hiding behind was hit when a pegasus was slammed against it, just like Saizo had anticipated – the building was tall, and the Wyvern Riders engaging their forces in the sky were known for trying to maim their enemies by crashing them into the nearest hard surface.

He let the girl go – to the enemy, it would have seemed like she had been hiding in the building and the crash had drawn her out in the open, those protecting her buried alive under the debris of the collapsing roof.

«Daddy!» she yelled as Saizo watched her run, her feet slipping against the soiled ground when she came to a halt next to the King’s corpse. «Daddy, wake up, wake up, we have to go! I’m scared!»

A child’s voice alerted the enemies searching for a child – of course – and Saizo caught a glimpse of the slimy mage he had overheard earlier on the bridge with an eager grin on his face as he cursed a Hoshidan Master of Arms to his death and called: «Your Majesty!»

And then the battle was over, as if a single swipe of the Obsidian King’s axe had cut down all those who were still fighting. Saizo sank into the shadows, unnoticed as he made his way back to his father, his brother, his Princess.

But he was still close enough to hear the child’s desolate sobs, the murderer’s callous words.

«You poor thing. Orphaned at such… a tender young age.» a pause, sick anticipation building up, a quiet, malicious chuckle. «You are my child, now.»

The little girl’s scream tore through the stillness that had enveloped Cheve.

Saizo’s heart felt for her, but he never paused, nor looked back: he had done his duty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Homecoming -- A brother's dread -- King's orders -- A father's decision -- Battle at the Canyon -- Downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Classical Arabic)_   
>  _Verb meaning “to bury one’s living daughter” =_

****❝** Wa’ada **❞****

* * *

 

Elise was bouncing on her seat so much, Leo could swear she was to blame for how badly the carriage wobbled on the uneven cobblestone road that lead into the heart of Windmire.

«Elise.» he growled, rubbing his forehead: he already felt exhausted, and it wasn’t even noon yet. «Would it kill you to sit still for, say, five minutes in a row?»

«YES, it would!» she shrieked, clearly unable to reign in her excitement, and Leo made a face at her loud, high-pitched voice: he could feel the headache creeping in on him already. «How can you be so calm, brother? Don’t you feel excited?! Ileana is coming home with us! We can finally be together, we can finally be a family!»

Oh, how he regretted riding in the carriage and not on his horse, next to Xander.

«Come oooooooooon, are we there yet?! Can’t this thing go a little faster?!»

«I think we’re almost there.»

Ileana’s voice had been barely a whisper, pressed as she was against the window of the carriage. She had been frozen in that spot ever since they left the Northern Fortress, before the faint light of dawn lined the horizon. He could hardly fault her for that: she had spent fourteen years locked in her tower. He had been glad to see her whole face light up with the sky when the Sun had begun to rise: they had been lucky enough to be already high on the mountain pass at the time, and the elevation had enabled them to see that distant strip of blue between the land and the curtain of clouds that made up the Nohrian sky – which dissipated only at night, and every moon and a half for exactly a day.

Ileana had probably never seen a sunrise: she was a night owl, and liked to sleep in in the mornings. That was a habit she was going to have to change, if their father really did decide to let her join the ranks of the Nohrian army.

Leo absentmindedly chewed on his bottom lip, an undefined feeling of worry and unease coiling within his chest. King Garon had been adamant: Ileana was forbidden to leave the Northern Fortress until she could prove her skill and strength in battle, until she could prove to be a warrior on par with her siblings. And while she was a formidable mage – how could it have been otherwise, since Leo had trained her himself – she was yet to prove her bloodline by activating a Dragon Vein.

Still, their father had summoned her to Krakenburg nevertheless. He was unsure what to make of it, but it worried him. Most of all, he was worried of the aristocracy’s reaction: Nohr’s court had always been driven by ambition, and any nobleman in there was more than ready and eager to spill someone’s blood, were there even a sliver of a chance to be noticed by the King. A mysterious princess, grown up away from Krakenburg, who couldn’t even prove her bloodline by unleashing the power of a Dragon Vein wasn’t going to last very long in that kind of environment. The mere thought of what Ileana was going to have to face made him physically sick.

He pinched the bridge his nose as he forced himself to set aside his pessimism, his gaze lingering on his younger sister. At least she looked the part of royalty, her hair and her soft features making her resemble both him and Elise. Her eyes were, at least physically speaking, the only thing that made her stand out from her siblings – those vivid green eyes, so different from the darker purple and brown hues sported by the rest of Garon’s children. But her appearance alone could only keep her safe for a couple of moons, at best. 

Leo sighed. Xander was positive that their father had a plan to awaken the slumbering dragon blood in Ileana’s veins. He could only hope he was correct… and that whatever this plan was, it didn’t involve anything public.

«Leo, look! There it is! We’re home!»

Elise’s voice snapped him out of his musings, so he joined his sisters by the window… and sure enough, there was Castle Krakenburg.

The dark towers of the palace climbed high, reaching towards the clouded sky above from the bottom of the pit where they resided, just like the barren trees of the Woods of the Forlorn reached for any speck of light. The carriage stopped and they found themselves standing right in front of the entrance tower, which then joined the main body of the castle through a suspended bridge barely large enough for three people walking side by side.

Indeed, the defenses of Krakenburg were as solid as could be, Leo considered, but the bad feeling twisting in his stomach did not ease – to him, the castle had always looked like a monster, lurking at the very depths of despair itself, ready to strike. The Nohrian court definitely fit the picture. Leo shuddered at the thought of his little sister waltzing through the social events, blissfully unaware of the unforgiving environment she had been all but thrown into.

A warm, armor-clad hand on his shoulder made him turn around.

Xander was standing right beside him, and was looking at him with a touch of concern in his mahogany eyes – his signature cold glare melting away, his gaze turning soft and gentle, but only when he was looking at any of his siblings. «Brother? Are you alright?»

Leo forced a small smile. «Of course. No need to concern yourself, brother. I was just thinking.»

«And aren’t you always.» the eldest of King Garon’s children teased, and the smile on the Dark Knight’s face turned a bit more genuine.

He couldn’t help it, the words almost tumbling out before he could stop them, before reminding himself that his older brother had enough concerns without having to worry about his pessimism. «Xander, she’s… she’s not ready. This is too sudden. If we present her to the court right now, it will be like throwing her to the wolves.»

The frown returned to the Crown Prince’s face in a second, and guilt went to join the ugliness writhing in Leo’s gut.

«I understand your concerns, Leo.» his brother told him, his hold of his shoulder tightening just so. «I am wary as well. But Father told me that he has no intention of introducing her to the nobility just yet. I think he has something else in mind right now.»

The second Prince of Nohr nodded slowly. His uneasiness remained, but if his father’s plans bought him time, he would count his blessings. «Forgive me, for burdening you with my worries.»

Xander looked at him, and then offered one of those rare, small smiles of his. «You never burden me.»

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but Elise’s loud laughter stole the words from him. The two brothers turned to their sisters, who were chatting happily with Camilla; the eldest of the Nohrian Princesses had just climbed down of her wyvern and was currently squishing Ileana into one of her monster hugs.

«Camilla! Can’t breathe!» Ileana chocked out, even though she made no attempt to pull away and all but hugged her older sister back.

Elise was hopping around them, much too delighted to stand still, and ended up tackling the both of them with a hug of her own. Camilla didn’t even falter on impact and just welcomed her youngest sister into the embrace, sliding one of her strong arms around her shoulders.

«Camilla.» Xander called as he made his way towards the three of them, a smiling Leo right behind him. «Could you please not suffocate Ileana just yet? I would at least like to show her around the castle a bit.»

Ileana’s laughter grew in volume as Camilla stopped smothering her against her chest. «It’s fine, Xander. I’m used to it.»

«All the better!» the eldest Princess of Nohr cooed, giving her younger sister one last squeeze. «I’m not going to stop doting on you just because you’re finally coming to live with us!»

Elise was positively bouncing. «Me neither! Me neither!» she squealed as she tightened her hold of her sister’s waist. «I love you so much! I love you more than anything in the whole, wide world!»

«Sisters.» Leo chided, sounding only half serious. «Will you please get a hold of yourselves and start behaving like the royalty you technically are?»

Elise stuck her tongue out at him but Camilla simply chuckled, finally letting go of Ileana only to envelope Leo in her embrace. «Oh, Leo, my darling clever little brother. Where would we be without you keeping us all in line?»

«Probably getting scolded for lack of propriety on a daily basis.» he retorted, but there was a soft smile on his lips as Camilla planted a loud kiss on his cheek.

«Come, now.» Xander redirected everyone’s attention as he began to make his way up the stairs of the entrance tower. «There’s food waiting for us, and then our tailors are waiting to get you in a proper attire to meet with Father, Ileana.»

«Of course.» the Princess in question answered immediately, skipping over to the eldest of her brothers to capture his arm into a hug. Xander’s rigid posture relaxed a bit as he let her hold him, one of his armored hands ghosting over her smaller, bare ones. «Apologies for keeping you.»

«No harm done, little rose.» he forgave her, patting her shoulder lightly. «Now, come with me. We have some time to show you around home a bit before we return to our duties.»

Moving as one, the five Nohrian siblings made their way up the stairs of the tower, and then across the bridge that led to the castle. Elise led the group, making her way over the castle doors by leaps and bounds. Ileana easily fell behind, busy as she was looking at everything around her. Leo noticed, and slowed down to allow her to catch up to him.

«Are you alright, sister?» he asked her when she caught up with him. «You were very quiet during our journey. Is something troubling you?»

Ileana’s short golden blonde hair tickled her chin as she shook her head. «No, everything’s alright. I think I’m just a bit… well, you know. This is a lot to take in.»

He glanced at the towers, at the balconies that lined the pit in which the castle had made its home. She had been locked away for so long, the noises and smells alone were probably enough to overwhelm her. «I see.»

«My apologies if I made for a poor company. I hope you weren’t bored in the carriage?» she asked him, her green gaze eyeing him with just a hint of guilt.

Leo offered a smile in response and slid an arm across her shoulders to hug her close to his side, his lips leaving a kiss on her temple and coaxing a giggle out of her. «Of course not, sister. I had plenty of time to study my book, at least until Elise woke up. And even as she slept her snoring did get in the way of my concentration.»

He had said the last part louder on purpose, and the Nohrian Princess in question immediately spun on her heels, red creeping on her soft cheeks. «I do NOT snore!»

«Oh? And how would you know? You were sleeping so soundly, I don’t think a battle would have woken you up!» he snickered, Ileana biting the inside of her lower lip to keep herself from laughing.

«Leo! You’re such a meanie!» Elise sputtered, an adorable pout on her face, her ears turning a lovely bright red. «A big meanie wearing his collar inside out!»

All color drained from her older brother’s face. «WHAT?! Could you not mention this as we got out of the carriage?!»

«Serves you right for being such a jerk!» she stated, spinning around again to skip inside of the castle, perfectly satisfied with her petty revenge.

Ileana’s shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter when Leo turned to glare at her. «And why didn’t _you_ say something, traitorous little sister mine?»

She hummed as she pulled him to a halt and began undoing the hooks of his collar to fix it. «Ah, I forgot to mention it, didn’t I?» 

He snorted as she pulled the garment off his shoulders, flipped it, and then draped it around him again. «And here I thought I could trust you.»

Ileana just giggled as she clasped the now-properly-worn cape to her brother’s armor. «My apologies, Leo. But this sort of thing makes you so very lovable.»

Leo just rolled his eyes, but accepted the swift peck his sister placed on his cheek and finally stepped across the castle doors that Xander had been holding open for them. Inside, Camilla was waiting with a smile, Elise standing next to her and shifting her weight on her feet every other second.

Xander watched with warmth in his eyes as she reached for Ileana’s hand and began pulling her along the corridor, pointing out everything that came to her over-excited mind. Leo and Camilla trailed quietly behind, occasionally giggling at something she said, the sound echoing Ileana’s amused chuckles and Elise’s beautifully deafening laughter.

A voice in the back of his head pointed out that a Nohr without that laughter wouldn’t be a Nohr worth living in. With a sigh, the Crown Prince closed the castle doors.

 

Ileana twirled around again, her fingers entangled in her cape to see how it moved around her. She smiled broadly, liking the effect.

The clothes she was wearing were an enriched version of the Dark Mage outfit – «Because we can’t have a royal dressed just like any Dark Mage of the army, it would be insulting!», Camilla had explained while she helped her trying on her new gear.

She loved that everything was dark and lined with gold, the blue that generally enriched the Dark Mages’ clothes completely overrun by the pitch black traditionally worn by Nohrian royalty. The only traces of color were the inside of her cape and a few decorations on her hips and shoulders, which were a dark yet vivid, bright emerald green.

That was Camilla’s touch, she was sure of it. She smiled at the thought of her older sister talking the tailor’s ears off to make sure there was something a little personal in her new battle armor.

She approached the mirror and began fiddling with the hooks of her cape and the lacing of her armbands, triple-checking all the strings and buttons and smoothing every wrinkle of the fabric, making sure there were no loose ends in the lace that covered her where the Dark Mages normally wore simple veil. She wanted to look flawless.

She hadn’t seen her father the king for fourteen long years, and she was only four when he ordered for her to be moved to the Northern Fortress, apparently to make sure she wouldn’t contract the same illness that had claimed her mother’s life; and then, even once the quarantine was lifted, he had decided that she would stay there to train alone, safely, away from the court. Her memories of him were scarce at best, if entirely non-existent: she wasn’t even sure she remembered what he looked like.

She brought a hand to her face and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear and under her headband.

Was he going to be pleased with her? She knew he originally meant for her to be trained to wield a sword, for it would have opened her more options in terms of promotions, but it had become evident from the earliest stages of her training that the path of the ‘pointy metal sticks’ – as Leo was so fond of dubbing swordplay – was probably the worst path she could walk. It had been Camilla’s idea to train her as a mage instead, and Dragons knew how many nights she had spent arguing with Xander on the subject. Though once Leo himself had started training her, well, there had been no more doubts on which was her calling.

She thought she could be a useful asset to the army. She had studied the strategies her siblings liked to adopt on the battlefield: Xander was always on the frontline, leading his knights into battle, while Leo’s mages and Elise’s healers were to be the last line of defense, should he be forced to fall back; Camilla could play into both positions, helping out the eldest during the attack but also covering a possible retreat from above. If her father allowed her to promote into Sorceress, she thought that creating a small magic force to aid Xander in the offensive could be beneficial, allowing him to infiltrate enemies ranks more easily while providing the resilience that a team of mages lacked on its own.

But, it was all up in the air. There was, of course, that one big, fat question mark: would she even be allowed anywhere near the army, incapable of using Dragon Veins as she was?

Ileana knew that one ability – or inability, in her case – could very well decide her future. Her father the King needed his children to be commanders, and harnessing the power of Dragon Veins could be completely overturn the tides of battle, so it was a crucial skill to master as soon as possible. And she was yet to activate one – yet to even sense one. Xander had assured her that she could, for it was in her blood, but she had never managed to draw out a single sliver of power from the many knots of draconic energy that dotted the lands of Euanthe, and the Northern Fortress itself.

For a long time, it hadn’t bothered her. She had never exactly been… warrior material. She didn’t use to mind not being able to trigger Dragon Veins, for it meant she didn’t have to jump right into the constant skirmishes with the Kingdom of Hoshido or the occasional riots from the annexed Principalities as a military leader – something she still thought she was absolutely not suited for. However, that lack of skill she used to consider a blessing had quickly turned into a curse as her siblings were swept into the hostilities that were tearing Nohr apart, and she was left to wait for any sign of them. The stillness of her tower had quickly gotten to her, making her grow restless, the worry for her siblings eating her alive. She wasn’t too fond of fighting, of course, but she would gladly do so if it meant being by their side, and hopefully help protect them and the home they loved so much.

However, that resolution had awoken no draconic power. But just as she had begun to fear that she would be doomed to be forever waiting, King Garon had decided to summon her to Krakenburg, claiming that there was nothing more she could gain from training alone in her ivory tower. She could only hope that he had a plan to stir her dragon blood from its slumber… maybe he knew of something that she and Xander didn’t know of or hadn’t thought to try yet.

“ _It will be fine._ ” she reassured herself, fixing her cape for the hundredth time. “ _Stop preparing for the worst. He will know what to do. Everything will be just fine._ ”

One last look in the mirror, and after a deep breath, Ileana spun around – her cape swirling around her in a way that made her smile – and walked out of the room. She had all but closed the door behind her when she sensed it, just in the nick of time, and side-stepped to her left. A hollow _thud_ later, she turned to see a dagger embedded into the wood, right at the height of her ears. She rolled her eyes.

«Missed me!» she called to the empty room – and as she expected, the figure of a man emerged from the shadows behind one of the long, thick purple curtains that framed the window of the little tea room outside of the tailor’s quarters.

«You could hardly fault me for it. You were always so good at dodging long, rigid things.» he snickered as he stepped into the light – bronze skin, pale hair, leather eyepatch and wicked grin, just as she remembered him. «It’s such a pleasure see your reflexes haven’t lost their edge.»

«You wanted to test my reflexes. That’s your excuse?» she countered, her own smile turning sly. «My dear Niles, if you wanted to plunge something into me so badly, you needed only ask.»

A spark flashed in his electric blue eye. «Watch your tongue, Princess. I might be tempted to put it to better use…»

«Should I remind you that I bite, then?» she snickered, but it was genuine amusement that colored her voice. «I know you were aiming for the door, by the way.»

«As if I would ever hurt you, my Lady.» Niles pledged as he bowed, shedding the tension from his posture, the bite from his voice, the malice from his face. «My, how I have missed our little word games.»

Ileana nodded. For a second it looked like she was about to reach out to him, but then seemed to decide against it. «Mhm. It has been a while since I last saw you at the Northern Fortress. My brother has kept you busy, I take it?»

He only hummed, offering a little smirk in response.

She rolled her eyes. «Will you ever tell me stories, Niles?»

He took a step closer, that smirk of his widening when she refused to take a step back. «Did your brothers never tell that curiosity killed the cat, my Lady?» his hand curled around the hilt of his dagger, and he tore it out of the woods with a single pull. She didn’t flinch or replied, not even when his blade flashed past her cheek as he motioned to sheathe it. He sighed. «I doubt my stories would satisfy your thirst for adventure, my Lady. If it’s heroic tales you want, I know of a magician who would be ecstatic to tell you all about the feats of—»

_— **SLAM!**_

«I AM ODIN DARK!» shouted the magician Niles had just mentioned, as if on cue, the poor door of the tea room almost torn from its hinges by his enthusiasm. «BEHOLD! THE CHOSEN HERO!»

«I swear that wasn’t planned.» Niles breathed into Ileana’s ear as Odin struck a pose.

«FIEND!» he bellowed dramatically, his coat waving behind him as he extended his left arm with a flourish, pointing accusingly at his white-haired partner. «Creature of the vilest shadows! You have endeavored to leave me behind to corrupt our sacred duty… BUT NAY! My darkness has sensed your ill intent, and warned me! I have come to the rescue of the fair Princess, to pull her from your shady grasp!»

The bubbling laughter of the ‘fair Princess’ rang in the room and out in the corridor as she all but threw herself at the blond mage. «My savior!» she sighed brightly as she arched with feigned abandonment in his arms, the back of her hand flying to her forehead.

«My Lady! To see you unharmed quells the arcane blood raging in my veins!» he declared as he picked her up and spun her around. «I hope my companion here didn’t, er… overstep, did he?» he added in a more serious, genuinely concerned tone as he set her back on her own feet.

«Not to worry, my hero.» Ileana laughed, and lightly pecked Odin's cheek. «He was on his best behavior.»

Any comment or worry about what Niles’ best behavior could be like flew right out of Odin’s mind when he looked at the young Princess again and took in the swishing cape wrapped around her shoulders.

«But hold! My Lady! What darkness has you shrouded in its veils!» he exclaimed, as he dropped on one knee and cradled her hand in his. «Your aura, I sense it! Awakened, at last, it shines through the fragile shell of your body! The shadows stir within you, your innocent heart turned by their touch! Behold! You gleam with the occult splendor of one chosen as champion by the Deep Magic itself!» he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand. «Oh, what spells will these fingers weave! Your enemies will gladly fall before your fell magic, and will thank their lucky stars that it was you – oh most divine embodiment of death – who brought them their demise on a dark swan’s wings!»

Ileana smiled through the blush that was creeping on her cheeks at that flood of compliments, far-fetched as they may be, but Niles simply sighed.

«Alright, Odin, we get the gist. She is ravishing and you’re caught somewhere between asking her hand in marriage and orgasming.» he snickered at the strangled gasp of horror he pulled from his partner, at the Princess’ blush climbing down her neck. «Now, can we go see the King yet, or do you want to be the one to explain why we escorted her to him late?»

That was all it took for Odin to spring to his feet. «Hark, my Princess! Our fate whispers… it beckons us! Come!» he hooked an arm under hers and begun to pull her out of the tailor’s quarters. «I shall declare your magnificence to all as we make our way to fulfill our destiny… may my words of glory be soaked by the stones of the castle, and may them chant them back to all whenever you shall retrace our steps, for the years to come!»

Ileana’s smile faltered. «Uh, Odin, that’s hardly necessary…» she tried to say, but he ignored her completely.

«But of course it is, Princess! It would be a sin not to weave songs of praise in your name!» he chimed, undeterred, guiding her down the corridors. «Now, where was I? Ah, yes! On a dark swan’s wings, you shall—»

Odin’s voice became a forgettable white noise in Niles’ mind: after so many years spent working together, he had learned to tune out his crazed rants of glory unyielding and darkness eternal – and given all the hours he had to spend in his company, he considered it a survival skill. He kept a few steps behind his companion and the Princess, his eye roaming the stone walls to make sure there were no messy surprises – there probably weren’t, but one could never be too careful.

As it jumped from one wall to another, his gaze lingered for a moment on the bright red blush that now tinted the Princess’ cheeks, neck and even shoulders. He couldn’t help but smirk at the sight. She had always enjoyed and even indulged Odin’s theatrics, often playing along just as she did with him – why she would bother still puzzled him, even after all those years. But she was a shy thing, a sweet thing, and she wasn’t entirely comfortable with all that attention – especially when it was oh so very Odin-Dark loud.

Such a sweet thing she was indeed… she had always been – even if he hadn’t always thought so. It had taken him years to stop hating her and see her for what she was: a bubbly slip of a young girl, so happy to leap from hug to hug, always so eager for any sign of love shown by her siblings. She used to be surrounded by that very appetizing smell of honey cookies, which she baked herself and never failed to slip into the pockets of her brother and his retainers. He wondered if he could still smell it on her, the aroma of warm dough, just taken out of the fire…

A wicked smile graced his lips: the thought of drifting closer, hungry for the sugary scent her hair may conceal, was so very, very tempting – the look of surprise and shock on her face would be delicious – and Niles found himself licking his lips. But Odin would cry heresy and maybe even challenge him to a duel to defend the honor of the ‘fair Princess’… that is, if the surprise and embarrassment didn’t push her to incinerate everything – herself included – first.

Stifling a laughter, he gave her one last appreciative look – he wasn’t just teasing Odin when he had called her ravishing after all: she really had grown into quite the pretty doll…

…a shame she would lie in pieces on the cold hard ground in a matter of days, once the Nohrian court would be done with her.

He knew they were waiting for her, that they had been waiting for her for quite a while now. He could practically see them already, reaching for her, claws and teeth sharpened just to tear her apart more easily, welcoming smiles and silver tongues hiding the deadliest of daggers. They were just waiting for their chance, for the King to turn his back on her…

And turn his back on her he would, if she failed whatever little trial he had in store for her. He had no use for someone who couldn’t harness the power of the blood she had been gifted with upon birth, except that of producing heirs who could.

He knew it, and he knew they knew it too: he had heard them plot, heard the quiet whispers that haunted the corridors, on which he fed off day and night. He had heard the voices that slithered and murmured, telling of a sheltered Princess who was yet to wield a single Dragon Vein, praying that she would fail the test, knowing her siblings couldn’t always be there to protect her. He knew there were plans in place, dark corners laden with traps ready to spring, hands twitching to touch and take and tear, her blood sacrificed as fuel for their own climb to the Throne of Thorns. Such was the way of the court of Krakenburg.

But she had no idea. She had grown up locked in a tower, away from wars and politics, surrounded by the unconditional love of her siblings and caretakers. The reality of Krakenburg was much, much different from what her life had been up to that day. It would hit her, hard, unexpected, freezing cold.

He wasn’t even sure she would make it out alive, and he knew he wasn’t the only one nursing that thought: his liege hadn’t said anything about his worries, but Niles had read them in the restlessness of his eyes, in the paleness of his knuckles clutching Brynhildr just a bit too tight. He knew what he was thinking, and agreed with him: Ileana wasn’t ready.

Granted, she was one of the best and most gifted mages that he had ever seen… second only to Leo, perhaps, and with enough talent to be on par with him. His liege had trained her himself with a dedication that came from the guilt of a childhood mistake that haunted him still. Niles himself had helped with her education – after a particularly nasty incident with a fire tome when she was younger and much too eager, her brother had insisted on her learning how to aim with a bow before she could be trusted with a tome. But that had prepared her for war, not for the world of intrigue that made up the very walls of Castle Krakenburg.

Her siblings would try and protect her, of course, shield her from the ever stalking, lurking, longing nobles. They had grown up in Windmire, so they were used to the brutality the aristocrats were willing to commit, to which all the rest of their half siblings had succumbed. They knew when to smile and when to threaten, how to dance their way out of traps and how to stab back with the same malice shown to them. They could pluck at the right thread and watch plots unravel before them, just like they could weave intrigues of their own to protect themselves – and those dear to them.

But they couldn’t protect her forever, not when they had their duties to the King to uphold. Eventually, Lady Ileana would be left alone, and without her father’s protection, it would be her downfall. His eye focused on her again, and he could almost see the bruises forming, the wounds opening, her blood pooling and flowing to sate the Castle’s thirst – he could almost see her, beaten, bloodied, broken, tears like starlight streaming down her cheeks, her pretty face contorted in pain and anguish.

Years ago, those images would have made him moan, made him long for more, made his fingers twitch around the hilt of a dagger. Oh, he had hated her alright – hated her carelessness, her lightheartedness, her innocence. But in time, as she grew older – her heart heavier, her thoughts darker, her future shakier – his hatred had lessened and lessened.

She didn’t deserve to be left at the mercy of those aristocrats. While he did think that a healthy dose of reality was just what she needed to wake up from the golden life she had led so far, that kind of cruelty was… too much. He didn’t want that – after all, her fall from grace would be hard on his liege, and whatever displease Prince Leo displeased him.

She had to pass that trial. She just had to, if she wanted a chance of survival.

«I sent you to retrieve my sister so you could show her the way to the Throne room, not so that you two helped her get even more lost.»

Prince Leo’s voice had the power to effortlessly cut short even the loudest, most flourishing words that Odin’s fancy could string together. The Sorcerer nearly jumped out of his skin, his arm immediately leaving the Princess’ so he could bow hastily to his liege as he stammered excuses and explanations. Niles bowed as well, only answering his Lord’s accusing stare with an apologetic little grin.

Leo sighed. «I’ll take it from here.» he decided, putting a stop to Odin’s raving once more. «You two are dismissed. I’ll see you in my study when we are done with Father.»

And then he spun on his heels, not even pausing to check if his retainers were going to follow his orders – they were going to, but after a bit of messing around, just as usual: Odin would make some kind of scene of his, Niles would tease him mercilessly to make him stop – calling him ‘sunshine’ always seemed to work, for whatever mysterious reason – and then they would be on their way. Leo liked to linger and watch, because as frustrating as they could be, his retainers’ antics did manage to put a smile on his face, somehow.

However, that day he really wasn’t in the mood for any foolishness. So he just turned away, his pace brisk, Ileana’s footsteps following in his wake after she hurriedly said a goodbye to his retainers.

«Are we late, brother?» she asked him when she caught up to him, worry lining her voice.

Leo forced himself to exhale the breath he couldn’t help but hold and to slow down. He offered his arm to her, and she gladly took it with a smile and a silent question in her eyes. «No, we are on time. Forgive me, sister. I have things on my mind.» his armored hand covered hers, careful not to tangle its claws with the lace of her armbands.

The tailor had really done a marvelous job with her outfit, he would give the man that much. Ileana was simply gorgeous, all black and gold and green, armor and lace. She was stunning, and in battle she would look terrifying, with the darkness and light that characterized the Deep Magic swirling around her – just as it was for Camilla, she would turn beauty into a weapon, meant to inspire her allies and distract her enemies.

Or at least, she would once she proved her strength, the power of her blood. Until then, her beauty would be just a temptation. In that moment, Leo thanked every star in the Nohrian skies for managing to keep the date of her arrival to Krakenburg away from the court’s ears. The last thing he needed in that moment were nobles coming to check out their potential new plaything.

He stopped, so abruptly that Ileana stumbled slightly, yet he hardly noticed, his mind somewhere else, running a thousand yards per hour. «Leo, what—?»

«When we step in the Throne room…» he began, his mouth dry, his nerves getting the better of him. «…we will not be there as his children, Ileana. We will be soldiers before their King. Do you understand me?»

Her silence, and the way her hand clenched around his arm told him that no, she didn’t understand what was going on, but that some part of her understood that it wasn’t good.

«Don’t talk back to him.» he went on, turning to face her and cupping her cheek, the weight of his mistakes crashing down on his shoulders. «Do not question him, no matter what he tells you. Just agree to anything he’ll order you to do, and if there is any problem with it we’ll sort it out together, by ourselves, and make it look like you still did what he wanted you to. Alright?»

«Leo…» her fingers intertwined with his resting on her face as she leaned into his caress, her sharp green eyes boring into his chocolate brown ones. «What’s wrong? What aren’t you telling me?»

He felt a pang of pride in his chest. Of course she caught on to him. She was smart, no matter what she or anyone else thought, and he had worked to sharpen that mind as much as he could.

Not telling her. That had been their mistake – Xander’s, Camilla’s, his. They had been so eager to protect her, to keep her happy, that they didn’t really worry about the day she would have to step inside of Krakenburg until that day was too close for them to ignore. They had made her and the Northern Fortress their haven, where intrigues didn’t exist, but now Leo almost choked on his own breath when he realized that they may have dug their sister’s grave with their own hands. They had protected her too much, kept her in the dark too long. And now she had to go in, completely blind, without even knowing what kind of King their father was or how to behave in front of him.

“ _Hedi, forgive us. What have we done?_ ”

Ileana nuzzled his hand as he ran his thumb on her skin, her unease increasing. «Leo? You’re scaring me.»

Good, he wanted to tell her. She had more than a few reasons to be scared, and he wanted to tell her each and every one of them, to warn her, to do what he should have done much, much earlier. But he couldn’t. He lacked the time, and he lacked the words.

So he managed a small smile, swallowed the lump in his throat, and only said: «Forgive me, sister. It’s nothing. I merely forgot to tell you how beautiful you are.» he leaned in to kiss her temple, ignoring her questions, the worry in her eyes. «Now come. We are expected.»

And thank the Dusk Dragon that they were only a couple of corners away from the Throne room, because Leo couldn’t have stood the weight of her gaze a moment longer.

«Sister!» Elise chimed when she saw them approach, dashing forward to crash into Ileana and hug her tight.

Camilla strutted closer too, but decided to leave her younger sisters to enjoy their moment a little bit longer. Leo was surprised when he felt his older sister’s arms pressing him against her in a tight hug.

«My sweet Leo, you are as pale as a sheet!» she fussed, letting him breathe again only to cup his face and examine him closely. «Are you sure you are feeling alright, dear?»

He blushed, unused to all that attention, but something in him welcomed her worrying, her embrace. «I’m fine, Camilla!» he hissed, unable to help himself.

«Oh, little brother. Fine, fine, I’ll leave you be. I hope I haven’t aggravated you too much.» she just chuckled, fingers smoothing the hair she had ruffled herself. Leo refused to answer that and just snorted in response, so the eldest of the Nohrian Princess turned her attention to her sisters. «Ileana, darling. You are gorgeous.»

Her comment seemed to shake Xander from his thoughts, who had been standing quiet near the door as his younger siblings greeted one another. He turned just in time to see Camilla envelop Ileana – with Elise still clinging to her arm – in one of her monster hugs as Leo rolled his eyes and chided something about not choking the poor girl. But it was Xander who choked instead, when his eyes took in the drapes of fabric covering – or, for a better term, _un_ covering – his younger sister.

Ileana was thin and lean, as she had always been. He had always known that, but he had always been so worried about her battle form he never really paused to notice how her body had matured and softened with time. The transparencies of the lacy fabrics she wore fit her snugly, outlining all the curves of her body yet covering enough to stir the imagination, raising questions on how soft her creamy skin would feel beneath all those black veils concealing it. The golden criss-cross of decorations bound the eye to her hips, guiding it up her waist and daring it to climb further still to brush that patch of inviting soft skin bared by her cleavage, before more dark fabric and shiny clasps hid her throat from view. Her cape flowed from her shoulders like a pair of black wings, lined with a dark vibrant green that well complimented her eyes. She was already wrapping it around herself, surely feeling exposed and perhaps a tad cold with nothing but the lacy armbands that encased her arms from wrists to beneath the shoulders.

He felt something rumble in his chest at the sight of her, and for a moment he seriously considered the idea of hauling her back to the tailor and giving him an earful for making his little rose wear something so revealing.

«Whose idea was it to present her to the army as a Dark Mage?» he hissed in Leo’s ear as he stepped closer to the rest of his siblings.

«Dark Mage is our only base rank that wields tomes.» his brother quipped back under his breath, clearly annoyed. «You know I can’t promote her until this Dragon Vein nonsense is over. I’ll tell you what I have in mind as far as that is concerned as soon as you can make some time for me, brother.»

Xander knew he was right, of course – Leo was always right – but he couldn’t help feeling bitter at the thought of every man in the army feasting their sly eyes on his little rose.

The door of the Throne room opened loudly and a dark-haired man slipped out. Xander disguised his grimace with his sternest frown – “ _Speaking of sly…_ ” he growled to himself.

«My Princes, my Princesses.» he greeted them all with a deep bow, the golden mask that covered half his face keeping his dark hair in place. «Ah, Lady Ileana. Allow me to introduce myself properly this time: I am Iago, top advisor to the King and tactician to the Nohrian army.»

His stare made her skin crawl, but Ileana steeled herself against the shiver that tingled down her spine. She nodded in his direction, a mere acknowledgement to comply with what royal etiquette required of her. «A pleasure, Iago. But I don’t recall meeting you before.»

The Sorcerer’s smile widened into a grin that made her blood run cold. «I once came to the Northern Fortress to check on your training. I was, of course, very impressed by your proficiency in magic. Though that was years ago. You have grown…»

His addition had Leo stiffen, and Xander took a step towards the tactician, effectively placing himself between him and his sister. «Is there something you wish to say to us, Iago?» he pressed, cutting through the smalltalk.

«The King will see you now, my Lord.» Iago answered him immediately, stepping away from the door and gesturing him inside with a flourish of his hand.

The Crown Prince nodded gravely and beckoned his siblings to follow him in with another nod. The Princes and Princesses of Nohr trickled inside the Throne room, one by one, Xander entering first and Elise last. Ileana walked in right behind Leo, her heart hammering in her chest and her mouth feeling dry as she passed that threshold. All the nervousness that the company of her siblings and their retainers had kept at bay during her first morning at Castle Krakenburg returned with a vengeance, and she clenched her hands into fists to steel herself. She took a deep breath as she fell into line, her brothers and sisters at her sides, and worked up the courage to look at the father she hadn’t seen for fourteen long years.

King Garon was sitting in his black throne, an imposing axe leaning on the wall at his right, looking lethal as well as ready to be grabbed and put to use. He stood up as his children bowed before him, and Ileana found herself shivering as she took in how easily he towered even over Xander. He was just as tall as his eldest child, if not even taller, and he had a much more muscular build; the height was the end of the resemblance between father and son. Ileana had always imagined her father looking like an older version of her eldest brother, but she realized she was sorely mistaken: there was nothing else of Xander she could find in the King, except maybe that serious frown and a similar eye color. He felt… foreign.

«Ileana.»

She jumped when she heard him speak her name, with no warning at all. Her head snapped up and she clasped her hands behind her back, straightening herself. «Yes, Father.»

«Welcome to Castle Krakenburg, daughter mine.» he greeted her, his deep voice rumbling like thunder as it echoed inside of the Throne room and all the way into her bones. «You had a chance to rest after your journey here, I trust.»

«Thank you, Father. And I have.» she curtsied again, lowering her head to him and keeping it down. «I have come to serve you at the best of my abilities.»

He hummed in response, and she dared hope he was pleased with her. «Your brothers tell me of the wonders you can perform with a tome in your hand.» a blush crept up her cheeks, and she fought to keep a pleased little smile off her lips. «However, they also tell me that you are yet to master your inborn ability to sense and activate Dragon Veins.»

She felt her blush burn hotter and hung her head, her nails digging into the palms of her hands, an unpleasant feeling of dread twisting in the pit of her stomach. She resisted the urge to wrap herself in her cape. «Y-yes, Father.»

The Obsidian King chuckled, a dark sound that seemed to prick her skin. «No need to be so tense, my child.» he said slowly, and while the indulgence of his tone had the Crown Prince’s shoulders relax, it made Leo’s gaze sharpen as his eyes jumped from his father to his sister and back. «I have discussed your situation with Xander, and to me it seems that all you need to unlock the powers of your blood is some… practical experience.»

Ileana shot a glance to Xander, who nodded in encouragement, the frown on his face smoothing out. Father had a plan to help Ileana with her dragon blood block, and he didn’t seem worried in the slightest, which put his mind at ease.

«There is an abandoned fortress overlooking the Anassa Ford, right on the Hoshidan border of the Bottomless Canyon. I wish to know if the building there remains serviceable, to turn it into an outpost for our army. No battle will be required, but you may run into some scouts, so I want you to be ready to defend yourself.» Ileana nodded, so the King continued: «None of your siblings will accompany you, but rest assured, I don’t intend to send you out there completely defenseless. You will take with you a team of soldiers who will answer to your orders. You will also be accompanied by Gunter, one of your retainers, and a veteran warrior from my personal guard. Furthermore, to ensure that no trouble befalls you…»

The Obsidian King waved his hand and Iago took a step forward, a sheathed sword in his arms. He offered it to Ileana’s attentive, inspecting gaze. Xander caught that hint of apprehension in her green eyes.

Garon explained: «This is Ganglari, a sword infused with power from another world. Your siblings tell me that you prefer to fight with magic, but you were trained to wield a sword as well. I want you to take this with you, so that should your magic fail for any reason, you will have the means to protect yourself.» he paused, his russet eyes weighing the hesitation in his daughter’s hands. «Take it, my child. Put a father’s mind at ease.»

Ileana caught Xander’s small, encouraging smile, and nodded sheepishly to the King. As her father sat himself back into the Throne of Thorns, Iago stepped close to her to the Nohrian Princess, still holding the sword. «Allow me, my Lady…»

Leo stepped between them before the words were out of the Sorcerer’s mouth, his hands held out demandingly. Something vicious slithered across Iago’s face, but it was gone so quickly that Ileana wondered if she had just imagined it. He handed the sword to the second Prince of Nohr without another word, and Leo took it briskly. He walked back in line with his siblings, and Ileana felt the hilt of the sword brush against her hand. The magic it was imbued with sent a shiver up her spine when her fingers closed around its hilt.

«Thank you for this generous gift, Father.» she curtsied, daring to flash a smile to the man sitting on his dark throne.

«You are to leave as soon as possible. Your brother Leo will help you prepare the itinerary of your journey.» Garon waved his hand as he spoke, and Leo tugged on Ileana’s sleeve: they had just been dismissed. «Xander. You will start readying our troops. I want a portion of the army fit to take garrison in the Fortress as soon as your sister secures it.»

«It shall be done as you will, Father.» the Crown Prince of Nohr said solemnly, bowing his head to his King.

«Ileana.»

Ileana froze in front of the doorway, her father’s voice harsh as a whip. She turned.

«Do not disappoint me, child.»

She swallowed, and bowed again. «I will not, Father.»

 

* * *

 

A bolt of lightning split the sky above her head, and Ileana smiled. Storms fascinated her. She loved seeing the sky darken, feeling the air turn electric, hearing the thunder roil above. It made her feel very, very much alive. In the Northern Fortress, she used to spend the stormy nights awake, by the window, occasionally letting in a gust of wind, a splash of rain, and the smell they brought along. The only exception was when her siblings stayed the night, the weather far too dreadful to travel through it. On those nights, when she was little, she pretended to be afraid of the storm so that she could convince Xander and Camilla to sleep all together in the same bed, and whined until they went to get Leo too. When she got older, she left her eldest brother and sister alone, but Elise always snuck in her room – she _was_ afraid of thunderstorms when she was little – and she usually dragged Leo along, pestering him until he agreed to read her bedtime stories; once Elise fell asleep, Leo and Ileana usually stayed up some more, studying spells until they passed out.

Stormy weather was, indeed, Ileana’s favorite kind of weather.

«How you manage to keep such a smile on your face in this miserable, Dragonsforsaken place is beyond me, Lady Ileana.» Jakob muttered as he handed her a porcelain cup filled with steaming tea.

«Just as the fact that you decided to pack a tea set for this kind of mission is beyond me, Jakob.» she retorted with a soft grin. Her loyal Butler smiled back, but another voice cut in before he could answer her.

«She’s right, boy. This is hardly the place for you fancy, frail porcelain.» growled a Great Knight, trotting close to them on a black mare, spear clutched in hand. «You are not in the halls of the Fortress anymore. You need to adjust your behavior accordingly. You can’t keep spoiling her like this in the face of the soldiers. And you shouldn’t allow him to, my Lady.»

Ileana waved a hand, dismissing his reproach, handing her cup back to her Butler. «Leave Jakob alone, Gunter. He is only taking care of me. Just like you taught him.» The knight’s scowl softened as she approached him, and he helped her mount his horse. She pecked his cheek affectionately and sat sidesaddle in front of him. «But he is kind of right, Jakob.»

Gunter chuckled and Jakob rolled his eyes, though neither of them said anything more. Ileana studied the crease of the knight’s brow: Gunter had always worn a somber expression, ever since she could remember, but the frown that had taken over his face ever since they left the Northern Fortress was… troubling.

It bore the same weight of the paleness of Leo’s knuckles as he had held her hand out of the Throne room, of the worried crinkles that had lined Xander’s eyes as he wished her a safe journey to the Canyon and back, of the way Camilla’s fingers had twirled in her golden blonde hair as if refusing to let go.

Ileana knew all that worry had to do with her – because what other reason would there be for Gunter to be apprehensive as well? – and yet, she had no idea of what the reason actually was… though she was planning on finding that much out.

«Would you take me for a ride, Gunter?» she asked, her voice immediately drawing the Great Knight’s attention to her. «I would like to see the Canyon.»

He snorted, and she could feel the puff of laughter rumbling beneath all that armor he wore. «Only you could ask me to take you to see such a bleak landscape.»

«Well, it _is_ a different bleakness from the one I could see from my room at the Northern Fortress.» she quipped, and had him shake his head at her retort. «Would you mind staying behind, Jakob? I would rather have someone watching the camp while I’m gone. I shan’t be long.»

Her Butler looked like he wanted to object, plead to accompany her on her way to the edge, but the cold glare she shot him managed to discourage him. If Gunter thought it odd, he said nothing, and flicked Serilda’s reins while keeping a hand around Ileana’s waist to steady her as the mare made her way towards the abyss.

Ileana sat in silence for the whole short ride. They had arrived to the Bottomless Canyon the day before, and had decided to make camp for the night before passing the crevasse. Earlier that morning, she had ordered Hans to take a party and scout the ahead: the way across was made of worn bridges, and she did not want to risk an ambush – since the place looked like the prefect, deadly setting for one.

Hans had been another cause of stress among her dear ones, for some reason. As soon as Xander had found out that the Berserker was the veteran their father had mentioned, his face had darkened in a way Ileana had never seen, and Leo had paled even further. Gunter seemed unhappy with the choice, too: during the whole two weeks it had taken Ileana and her units to reach the Canyon, he had never, ever left her alone with the man. And of course, nobody had bothered to tell her _why_.

Her annoyance must have shown somehow while she was lost in her thoughts, because Gunter rubbed her arm soothingly. «What’s on your mind, child?»

Ileana huffed. «What is it that no one wants to tell me?»

She knew her words had hit the mark when his fingers stilled on her arm. «What do you mean?»

«Oh, none of that!» she snapped, and squirmed free from his gentle hold. «You know exactly what I mean! My brothers, my sister, their retainers, you… you are all worried, worried about _me_ , but none of you will tell me why!»

«Little wren—»

Normally she found that nickname soothing, but in that moment it didn’t seem to ease any of her irritation. «Don’t you ‘little wren’ me. I have to know, Gunter. I _need_ to know, and you know it!»

Gunter for silent for a handful of heartbeats, during which the young Dark Mage never lowered her bright green eyes. «Is that why you wanted to ride with me out here?»

She didn’t answer him, but the flicker in her gaze was enough. He shook his head.

So it fell to him, ultimately, to tell her everything. It fell to him to shatter her view of her world, of her family, of the man she called her father. It fell to him to devastate the one he had sworn – to the King, to the Dusk Dragon, to _himself_ – to protect from any harm.

It seemed that Nohr could still, after all, take everything away from him.

Ileana must have noticed about troubled he was, because she simply continued to stare a hole into him. He averted his eyes, letting them wander to the abyss that stretched out before them, below them.

The Bottomless Canyon looked like a tear in the land itself, as if part of the world had been ripped away, and the chasm was the scar that the fracture had left behind. The crevasse itself was said to be endless, a fall into eternal darkness, nothing but blind death waiting at the bottom, inescapable. The rocks that lined the drop were jagged, sharp, extending towards the ever storming, foreboding sky like jaws opening to swallow the shivering hearts of those who attempted to brave the worn bridges.

«I truly despise this place. Something about it isn’t right. The land, the sky…» he shook his head. «This is not a place we mortals are meant to enter.»

«Gunter.» Ileana warned, her voice taking that stern inflection he had learned to belong to a royal giving an order and expecting it to be obeyed.

He sighed. «I should not be the one to tell you, little wren.»

«But you are the only one who can.»

He couldn’t argue with that, and shook his head in resignation. «It’s… it’s about Krakenburg’s court. Your siblings are, ah… apprehensive of how they might greet you.»

Ileana scoffed. «Leo was apprehensive when I didn’t manage to completely dodge one of Xander’s blows during training and got a _scratch_. He looked like he was going to vomit bile when he saw me off.» it was her turn to sigh. She hung her head, and when she looked back up at Gunter, her eyes were filled with agony. «What I saw in my sibling’s eyes – what I see in your eyes now – is not apprehension. It is… dread.»

Gunter ran armor-clad fingers in her hair, schooling her short locks behind her ears. She looked so anxious, so scared. She was carrying the weight he was carrying – the weight her sibling were carrying – but she didn’t know why.

His touch lingered on her cheek, and she covered his hand with her smaller, delicate one, leaning into his palm. «Please, Gunter. Help me understand. Why are they worried about the nobility?»

She was looking at him with wide, sweet eyes. He had never been able to deny anything to those eyes. It looked like he wasn’t about to learn how to. «Because Castle Krakenburg is a much less forgiving place than you could imagine.»

«But what does this mean? Am I in danger? Am I going to be in danger?» her brow was scrunched in confusion as she tried to make sense of his words – but how could she, with so many blanks she had to fill all on her own and no clues? «Even if I pass Father’s test?»

«That is a possibility. The court is… savage. The aristocrats are merciless, and remorseless. It is not an easy environment to navigate, not even for a royal.» it hurt to utter those next words, it hurt like the spear that had tried to claim his eye had hurt, but he had to voice the rest of the sentence anyway. «And, should you fail…»

A lightning bolt sparked across the sky in that very moment, branching through the dark, ominous clouds, snaking all the way to the ground. Gunter thought he could see the spot it had struck, but there was only barren, blackening rock.

Ileana looked a little paler, but there was something steadfast in the way she set her jaw. «Okay. Tell me everything.»

«Little wren—» he began, but she cut him off by turning a little better towards him, eyes ablaze and pleading.

«Gunter. The less I know, the more vulnerable I am. No matter the outcome of this mission.» she took a deep breath, her hands fisting into her cape as she wrapped it around her shoulders a bit more tightly. She was shivering, but whether it was from the cold of from her fear, he couldn’t tell. «The question is, will you let me walk among the halls of my own home in helplessness, or will you give me the means to protect myself?»

As if she even had to ask.

Ileana was perfectly aware that she had just voiced a rhetorical question: Gunter had loved her, cared for her, raised her and spoiled her ever since he had laid eyes on her, and had been the father figure King Garon never was.

The wonderful young woman he now held in his arms… it seemed only yesterday when he had read her the last bedtime story, tucked her in, pried yet another spell book from her fingers when she couldn’t help but give into sleep.

But Ileana wasn’t a child anymore: she had left the nest and spread her wings for her first flight in a dark sky, laden with clouds and pain, and she was begging him to show her how to soar. How could he deny her?

And yet, he too had caved under those bright green eyes. He too, had hugged her too tightly, refusing to shatter the innocence of those enchanting eyes with harsh reality, and thus he had failed to prepare her for what awaited her outside of the safety of the walls they had called a home.

There, at the edge of the chasm, he still had time to make amends. He could tell his beloved little wren the truth she so desperately needed, teach her how to wield the words and weapons she would need to navigate through the clawing gales that would try to tear her from the skies before she could soar too high.

«Alright.» he sighed, and took her hand in his, uncurling her pale, clenched fingers to cradle them in his larger palms. «Alright. I’ll tell you.»

Oh, but where to start—?

«MY LADY!»

…well, it looked like he was going have some time to figure that part out, if the breathless soldier leaping towards them was any indication.

«Hold on to me.» Gunter warned, looping an arm around the Princess’ waist and urging Serilda into a gallop, rushing down the ridge they had been standing on to meet the man halfway. «At ease, soldier. Catch your breath, and deliver your message.»

«G-Gunter, sir! Princess Ileana! Thank the Dusk Dragon…» the Mercenary sobbed, bending over but trying not to pant as he spoke. «We… we were attacked! Hans went in the fort with a few of us while we kept guard outside, but… he came out alone! And there were Hoshidans on his tail! W-we tried to surrender, but… but they didn’t listen, and… and…» he took one deeper breath, a hand on his chest. «I was sent ahead to warn you. My comrades are fighting on the bridges, trying to keep the Hoshidans at bay, but they… they are…»

«Thank you, soldier.» Ileana interjected, sliding off of the mare and offering her hand to the man to help him steady himself. He looked at her, dazed, then straightened himself on his own. She lowered her hand awkwardly. «Take the message back to camp. Tell them to hurry, and bring reinforcements. Gunter and I will go and support Hans. We must hold those bridges.»

 

«A grave mistake!» Gunter taunted, the pommel of his Nohrian blade crashing down on the temple of the Hoshidan Samurai that had tried to slash at his horse. 

The man fell to the ground with a whimper. Sheathing his sword, he adjusted his grip on his steel lance and drove it through the swordsman’s throat, sparing him a death by falling into the abyss below, or by being trampled on again and again. He felt an unpleasant tug at something pulsing inside of him, but brushed it off. War was never pretty, and though he was a veteran, the desolation it reaped was something he still had trouble dealing with. Euanthe had seen enough blood already, and so had he.

However, he couldn’t risk an enemy rising again to stab his Princess in the back just because of his mercy.

“ _Speaking of which…_ ” he snarled, his arm reaching for the hand axe strapped on Serilda’s saddle. His aim was true, and the edge of the weapon found the shoulder of the Ninja that was trying to ambush the Princess.

«Watch your back, child!» he barked when he saw her turn, alerted by the Hoshidan’s strangled cry. She nodded back, pale as a sheet, and he could see her grimace as a lightning bolt from her Mjölnir tome granted a swift death to the enemy soldier.

Gunter watched her force down guilt and disgust, her face schooled into a neutral expression, focused on the battle. She was doing well, he thought. Crown Prince Xander would be proud of her too, if he could see her resolve, her lack of hesitation. And Prince Leo would undoubtedly applaud her strategy.

Ileana had been very quick to evaluate their situation, which was quite the poor one.

When she and Gunter had arrived on the bridge, Hans and the few of his men left standing were faring horribly – most of them were exhausted and wounded, and the Hoshidan soldiers were fighting with such rage, their eyes were enough to intimidate their opponents and make them falter. Their arrival had reassured their troops, and provided enough room for those unable to keep fighting to head to camp and find a healer. Gunter knew that boost alone could count as a small victory.

With the element of surprise on their side and taking advantage of Gunter’s bulk as a mounted Great Knight, they had been able to somewhat drive back the Hoshidans from one of the stone platforms that stood in the middle of the Bottomless Canyon, like barren islands on a sea of endless darkness.

Ileana had immediately chosen to make it their battle ground: it was connected to the Nohrian side of the border by one big, relatively-in-good-condition bridge, which was both wide and steady enough to allow the retreat of any wounded back to the mainland; Jakob waited for them there, healing staff at the ready – he had not been happy when Ileana had ordered him not to join her, but the gravity of the situation had kept him from complaining.

At the same time, the bridges connecting the platform to the Hoshidan side of the border were worn, unreliable, and much smaller. Of all of them, in fact, the Hoshidans were using just one, which made it easier to fight them off and allowed the Nohrians to counter numbers with skill. Gunter would have loved to cut down the bridge altogether and end that senseless battle in a matter of minutes, but there were too many enemies for him to get to the ropes. Still, he would count his blessings: the Hoshidans were struggling with the constraint of the bridge, for even if they had archers – which were one of Gunter’s main concerns – they could not position them to get a clean shot at them. He could see the glaring lone Sniper on the other side of the gorge, a luminescent yumi in hand, feel his murderous, frustrated stare as he was unable to hit them from that distance.

Overall, their current position was good enough for them to stave off the Hoshidan offensive and hold strong until they were too tired to pursue them when Ileana would call a retreat. They were going to cut the bridge as soon as they could disengage, not having to fear an attack from above – not with the raining lightnings that struck down all those who dared to fly across the Canyon.

Yes, Ileana was doing well enough indeed, especially since it was the first time she stepped on a battlefield. While she was clearly uncomfortable with her leading role and had handed the ordering around to Gunter, she had managed to turn the tables of that losing battle: they had a very solid chance of making it out alive.

At least, they had it before the land itself began to shake.

For a moment, everything froze – even the dark, foreboding clouds that stirred over the Bottomless Canyon seemed to still. The lone Sniper across the abyss was glowing of an ethereal, azure light – the same light gleaming from his yumi… a light that had nothing to do with magic, and everything to do with divine, draconic energy.

The Sniper was a Prince of Hoshido, and he was channeling the power of a Dragon Vein.

Gunter was the first one to return to his senses, and quickly turned his horse to join Ileana’s side while the rest of the soldiers – friend and foe alike – couldn’t help but stare at the royal as his blood reached out to land and skies.

His movement seemed to snap Ileana out of her own daze, and when she turned to him, he saw the misery in her eyes.

«Gunter…» Ileana began, but choked on her words and couldn’t say anything else.

The Great Knight almost cursed out loud, when he realized: she hadn’t even sensed the Dragon Vein.

She had failed King Garon’s test.

Something horrible seemed to wrap around his heart and squeeze, but Gunter fought it from appearing on his face. «Remain focused.» he told her instead, trying to keep his voice as resolute as he could.

With one final tremor, in front of the Nohrians’ terrified eyes, the land came to life: the stone under the Hoshidan Prince’s feet quivered and burst forth, creating a bridge between the border and the platform on which the fighting was. Gleaming azure arrows rained from his divine yumi, always hitting their marks and taking lives.

Gunter wasted no time and yelled his orders, commanding his troops to close ranks and prepare for the retreat. He glanced back to the bridge behind him, their only way back to Nohr: it still looked reliable, and Hans was standing in front of it on the other side. If they could withdraw orderly, they could trap the Hoshidans on the bridge and then cut the ropes. He had hoped it wouldn’t come to that – he wasn’t fond of killing so many, and with such a cowardly trick, but it seemed to be their only option…

Focused on planning their escape as he was, he missed the stubborn way Ileana set her jaw, the resolution in her eyes. He caught a glimpse of her flipping through her Mjölnir tome. Her lightning struck the Hoshidans and drove them back, granting some respite to her soldiers, and Gunter opened his mouth to praise her… only for his words to fail him when he saw her dash forward, taking advantage of the path her spell had cleared.

«Princess!» he howled, hoping to call her back.

She didn’t even turn, so he followed in her wake, painfully aware of the piercing eyes of the Sniper, his glare and yumi trained on them – clearly, his shout had gotten his attention.

«STOP!» Ileana barked, her voice ringing loud and clear in the tense air of the Bottomless Canyon.

The Nohrians listened, and their enemies hesitated at the sight of the Dark Mage’s advance. Their commander strutted to the front of his troops, contempt plain on his face, a nocked arrow firmly held between his fingers.

«Prince of Hoshido.» Ileana addressed him respectfully, and he cocked an eyebrow at her, his stare sharp as a knife. «Please, hold your fire…» Gunter caught her turn to look at him, seeking his support, his approval. He understood her intentions at once and offered her a small smile, nodding gravely. She looked lighter when she turned back to their enemies, and declared: «…we yield.»

A murmur ran through the soldiers assembled around them. Shock crossed the Prince’s face, quick as a whip, only to morph into anger, disdain, and hatred. Finally, he sneered, a red spark in his eyes.

«Die already.»

Had Ileana’s reflexes been a second slower, Gunter would have be carrying her lifeless body back to her family.

The Hoshidan Prince lifted his yumi in one fluid motion, releasing a crackling divine arrow. Ileana’s hands shot up, magic running over her skin, and a wall of lighting burst into existence, deviating the dart aimed straight at her heart.

«FALL BACK!» Gunter commanded as the Hoshidans rallied to their Prince. His horse leapt forward, and the Great Knight’s steel lance barely blocked the assault of the blue-haired Spear Master that had managed to slip through the spell before her naginata could bite into Ileana’s arm. «TO THE BRIDGE!»

He whirled Serilda around, ignoring the wicked smirk on the Prince’s lips, turning his back on the red glint in his eyes. He extended a hand to Ileana as they retreated, meaning to help her mount behind him, but as he reached for her the ground shook again, and he could only watch, helpless, as she stumbled and fell behind while his horse was forced farther ahead by the writhing mass of soldiers running for their lives.

«Princess!» he called.

But Ileana wasn’t even watching him anymore, her eyes trained on the second stone bridge that had slammed into the platform from a different side, stemming from further up the Hoshidan border and effectively cutting off many of the Nohrian soldiers, for it put a maniple of Samurais and Archers between them and safety.

«Ileana! Don’t!» he shouted, formalities slipping from his mind as he saw her turn back towards the battle, hands sheathing her Mjölnir to extract a different tome.

«GO!» she screeched at him, her hair whirling when she spun to shoot him a quick glance. «I’ll catch up, you cross! Protect the bridge from the the other side!»

Even though disobeying a royal order had cost him too much once already, Gunter felt the need to do it again. It didn’t matter that Ileana didn’t think of him as her father: he thought of her as his child – as the child he had lost at at his King’s hand, and found again when he had given him a whip.

And yet, there was no way he could disobey her: in order to rush to her side right now, he would definitely trample on many of his own men, probably hurt his horse, and possibly get thrown into the Canyon when that happened.

No. His best chance to save his Princess was to do her bidding, secure a passage, and get ready to cut down that damned bridge the moment she crossed it. So he allowed Serilda to take him across, to safety – but his eyes stayed with Ileana.

He was proud of her for the way she was protecting her soldiers. He was furious about it too, because she was the Princess and should have put her own life before her soldiers’… but it couldn’t be helped: Ileana had grown up treating her subordinates as equals, as family, and caring for them. She wasn’t about to abandon those fighting under her orders, no matter the risk. He was furious for it, for the danger she was putting herself into. But he was also absurdly proud of her for it.

He watched her summon balls of lighting in her hands, hurling one at the Kinshi Knight that had appeared in the sky to protect the Hoshidans with arrows from above, and one at the Master of Arms that had leapt at her recklessly, not even waiting for the stone to settle completely beneath his feet. He watched her dodge every single one of his hits and respond with more lightning, the magic continuously pooling in her palms like an ever flowing current. One of her spells managed hit her mark – the Master of Arms parred it, but the sheer force of her magic sent him sprawling on the ground; she was quick to cast another to stun the Spear Master pursuing a Fighter.

One of the last of their soldiers who were still to cross the bridge, Gunter noticed. His hands were trembling, so he steadied them by gripping the hilt of his Nohrian blade tighter.

“ _Come on, little wren, just a bit farther…_ ”

**_—Snap!_ **

 

For a moment, Ileana felt like she was floating, weightless, just as when her brother Leo lifted her into thin air with magic to drag her to training with Xander every time she tried to skip it by hiding under the table.

For a moment, Ileana thought she had imagined the gleaming axe, the shimmering arc it had drawn as it descended, the ripping sound it had made as it struck the worn ropes that held the bridge.

For a moment, Ileana expected to wake up from a very, very vivid nightmare.

When gravity caught up to her, the sensation of falling didn’t wake her.

«ILEANA!»

«MY LADY!»

It didn’t wake her, because it wasn’t a nightmare. It was real. The axe embedded in the wood was real, Gunter’s and Jakob’s anguish was real, the void beneath her feet was real.

The sudden, unexpected pain that shot through her arm and shoulder when an iron grip curled around her wrist and kept her from plummeting into the abyss along with some of her soldiers and the remains of the bridge was also real.

She hissed and gritted her teeth as her arm twisted in a way that didn’t feel right, not right at all.

«You will be fine, milady!» an unknown voice yelled, and she looked up: through the tears that clouded her vision, she made out glimmering shurikens, a purple scarf, dark green hair. «I am going to pull you up now. Hold on to me as soon as you get the chance to. Alright?»

Ileana wanted to scream that no, nothing was alright, but she seemed to have lost her voice, or control over her body. Luckily, said body seemed to move on his own accord when the world around shifted and the Master Ninja’s shoulders were suddenly within reach. Her strained arm burned as it wrapped itself around him, though not enough to hinder the movement. She felt the firmness of his arm around her waist as he pressed her closer, the barbed kiss of the stone wall of the gorge scraping her skin and shredded clothes.

She looked at him – her enemy, her savior – and found a soft smile on his lips, endless kindness in his purple eyes. The hand that wasn’t holding her had the severed rope from the bridge wrapped fast around his wrist, and she could see the angry, blistering streaks it had bitten into his skin as he held on to it.

«It is going to be alright, milady.» he told her calmly, and she wondered how he managed to sound so soothing even suspended over a deadly drop. «I am not going to let you fall.»

The whistle of an unfamiliar bird pierced the howling winds the swept through the Bottomless Canyon, ringing louder than the voices that flailed and thrashed above the platform. A massive, shining white-gold bird glided downwards and hovered next to them, fighting the currents, braving the threatening stormy skies.

«KAZE!» the woman sat astride the bird shouted. «Hang on! We’ll get you out of here!»

The ninja holding the Princess smiled broadly. «Reina! Praise the Dawn Dragon, am I glad to see you!»

Ileana’s eyes fell shut as the huge bird stretched its feet towards her, claws bared and shining under the lightning that streaked the clouds. Yet those claws were impossibly gentle when they wrapped around her middle while the man’s arm slipped away. As if they had a mind of her own, her hands gripped fistfuls of white feathers.

Raging winds thudded in her ear as the bird soared, its wings whipping the gales once, twice, thrice, and then more rock against her body… only this time, it was gravity pressing her against it. She crawled from beneath the huge bird, vaguely aware of the ninja – Kaze – doing the same while the rider – Reina – hopped off her mount. With the corner of her eye, she saw them both fuss around the bird to help it fold its wings against the howling wind before it could break them with its gusts.

Her breath labored, a hand curling on the dirt and pebbles, she pressed her other palm against her chest and found a new appreciation for the heartbeat that throbbed, though a bit too fast, beneath her fingers.

That heartbeat almost stopped with no warning when something sizzled against her senses – not exactly magic, but not too different either. She had felt its prick from afar when she had stood up to the Hoshidan Prince. Feeling it so close now was almost too much to bear.

Ileana opened her eyes, and for a few seconds, the azure divine arrow filled her sight and her mind – her world contracting, beginning and ending with that flickering dart ready and longing to pierce her flesh.

«My Master Ninja burned his hand and my Kinshi Knight risked her companion… for _a walking_ _corpse_.» the Hoshidan Prince spat at her, venom dripping from his voice, scarlet hatred raging in his eyes. «Any last words, scum?»

It was his disgust that roused her.

How… how _dared_ he? He had _attacked_ them, _refused_ their surrender, _pursued_ them when they were just trying to retreat, to make it home… and he dared to call _her_ scum.

«Yes.» she snarled, somehow, even though she was still out of breath. «I expected more honor from a Prince of Hoshido.»

The Sniper’s eyes narrowed and his fingers trembled, the shining arrow quivering, begging to be released, but he held it firmly – for whatever reason. «You’re one to talk about honor, when you serve a King that has none.»

«I am not the one who refused to disengage even though his enemies were lowering their weapons.» she pointed out, ignoring the pain in her shoulder as she pushed against the ground to sit up.

He gave a derisive snort. «You have some nerve, demanding mercy when your soldiers were the ones who attacked in the first place.»

«My men were only scouting the area. Is Hoshido’s pride so frail to consider that an attack?» she spat.

The Sniper chuckled darkly, mirthlessly, slightly shaking his head. «Just as I expected of a Nohrian mage. You are nothing but lying scum.» he looked at her, rage and loathing and contempt bleeding from his reddish irises. «Well, you’ve poisoned this world with your breath long enough. Time to die, Nohrian.»

He pulled the immaterial string of his yumi farther back, and the arrow shone brighter than ever, hissing in the gusts of wind it seemed to create. It sizzled, the energy it projected running over her body like a current, its sheer power opening shallow little cuts on the skin exposed to its fury. He inched closer to her, his dart almost grazing her chin.

She had hoped he would at least avoid drawing it out, aim straight for her heart, but it seemed like he wanted to toy with her a little longer.

«So, scared yet?» he breathed with a grin.

She was. For Hedi’s sake, she was. She was tired, wounded, trapped, and so, so scared.

But she’d be damned if she was going to let it show. Xander wouldn’t have let it show, were he in her place. She had already failed her troops by letting them get cornered, failed her father by not sensing that blasted Dragon Vein. She wasn’t about to fail her brother cowering like a helpless kitten.

She raised her head, braving the arrow so close to her skin, gritting her teeth against the needle-like pain delivered by the barbed energy overflowing from his divine yumi, and spat: «I have no fear of the likes of you.»

The unexpected screech of steel against stone and the outraged shout that followed it distracted them both from their exchange, as their eyes took in the small glinting knife that had just landed on the platform.

«WHO DARES TO ATTACK THE SECOND PRINCE OF HOSHIDO!» roared the blue-haired Spear Master – the one that had slipped through Ileana’s wall of lightning during the battle.

«I DO!»

Jakob.

Ileana’s head snapped up and her eyes darted across the gorge. There he was, her dear, loyal Butler, gracefully perched on the wooden poles that used to hold the bridge in place – he must have climbed up there to throw his dagger farther, meaning to distract rather than harm. Gunter was only a step behind him, still mounted on his horse, looking tense and pale, definitely anxious for her and probably more than worried that Jakob would fall to his death, teetering on the pole as he was.

The Spear Master clearly hadn’t appreciated his interjection, because she went on shrieking: «WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU, YOU NOHRIAN DOG! I’LL—»

«You will do _nothing_.» Ileana hissed, her voice surprisingly loud enough to startle the Hoshidans. She rose to her feet with slow movements, ever mindful of the immaterial shaft that never lost its mark – her heart. «You don’t even get to threaten him, as a matter of fact.»

The young woman looked at her like she had suddenly sprout dragonskin. «You dare to address me like that, you filthy, revolting—»

Ileana rolled her eyes and decided to interrupt what was certainly going to be a very original string of insults. «You’re the Prince’s retainer, aren’t you? That man is mine. He’s just trying to protect me. Would you not do the same, were your liege the one about to be murdered in cold blood?»

That shut the lancer right up, but her grip on her naginata became so tight that her hands paled.

«Stand down, Oboro.» came the kind command of the Prince. «Let that Nohrian dog bark.» was the booming taunt, and the Hoshidans snickered.

Ileana grimaced – _oh, what wouldn’t she give to shock him into oblivion!_ – but a warning look from the Master of Arms she had faced earlier convinced her to hold her tongue, at least for the moment.

There was no way Jakob hadn’t heard his words, but he refused to react to them. «I would like to remind His Highness that refusing surrender and executing a Princess is an act of war. The Throne of Thorns will not stand idle in the face of such betrayal!»

«Betrayal…» the Prince echoed under his breath, his murmur almost lost among the furious growling that had risen from his soldiers at the Butler’s words. Louder, he declared: «While I’d like nothing more than to spill the blood of the monster responsible for the breach of our border treaty, Hoshido won’t take the life of a member of the Nohrian royal family so freely.»

And finally, finally the azure light dispersed, the glowing bowstring and the sizzling arrow vanishing into thin air. Ileana suddenly found it much easier to breathe, without that divine energy crushing her very soul, though she could still feel its hum coming from the yumi.

«Then for the love of the Dragons, return her to us!» Jakob insisted, an edge of despair to his words.

«I will not.» the Prince refused, the smile evident in his voice – he was enjoying himself, Ileana realized, and a sickening sensation settled in her stomach. «First of all, because the bridge collapsed, and I am not about to risk my Kinshi Knight to set your stupid Princessfree. And second of all, letting her go without prying every possible bit of information about Norh from of her first would be a terrible waste…»

When he looked at her again, Ileana’s blood turned to ice in her veins. The red glimmer was gone, but his bronze eyes had turned cruel, sharp and calculating. He wasn’t going to let her return home, she realized at once. Not alive.

She tore her own eyes from his stare and gazed at her retainers, so close and yet impossibly far away. They must have understood the Prince’s implications because Gunter had tugged Jakob off the pole and they seemed to be arguing over something.

Ileana could guess over what: Jakob clearly wanted to engage in some sort of suicide mission to save her – only the Dusk Dragon knew how he was planning to do that with the abyss stretching between them – and Gunter was trying to make him see reason, likely telling him that they should already be rushing back to Castle Krakenburg to report to Xander. His tone was likely strained because he wished there was another way, any other way, and he was surely calling Jakob ‘boy’ to distract them both from the pain they must be feeling at the thought of leaving her behind. Dragons, she could almost hear him.

She was probably never going to hear him again. 

Her heart nicked at the thought, and then shattered when more followed in its wake.

She was probably never going to see her family again. No more training with Xander, having tea with Camilla, studying with Leo, practicing the violin with Elise. No more jokes, laughter, spells, music. They had promised to go stargazing together upon her return home, to celebrate her first successful mission. Only she wasn’t coming home. They would have to go without her. They would have to live without her.

It took her everything, every bit of strength she had left within her to hold back the sob that swelled in her throat – and even more not to press a hand to her mouth stifle it. She managed, though just barely.

«Come, milady.» whispered a voice in her ear, and Ileana glanced over her shoulder to see the green-haired Master Ninja that had saved her life.

Kaze.

«…why?» she breathed, and hated him when she saw the understanding in his apologetic look, hated herself for the whiteness of her cheeks, the tears glazing her eyes, the crack in her voice.

Kaze lifted a hand to her face and smoothed her hair, tucking a few strands under her headband. «It’s going to be alright.»

_How?_ , she wanted to ask. As far as things were looking right now, she would have been better off falling to her death down the Canyon. Her eyes darted to the eternal darkness below her as the Hoshidan pushed her steadily across the stone bridge his Prince had summoned using the Dragon Vein. His grip on her arm and waist wasn’t constricting, but it was firm – to make sure she didn’t try anything foolish, as if he had read her mind.

She tried to look above his shoulder to take one last glimpse of her retainers, but she was already too far. Her heart sank.

Gunter. Jakob.

She hadn’t even been able to tell them how much she was grateful for them, how much she cherished them. She hadn’t had the chance to ask them to tell her siblings how much she loved them.

Xander. Camilla. Leo. Elise.

She had failed her mission, her father, her soldiers. And now she was going to become a source of information to turn against the very people she loved. She had failed royally.

“ _I’m sorry._ ”

The Prince’s whipping voice tore her from her sorrowful musings.

«I don’t care if you fancy her, Kaze. Bind her.» he ordered as he passed by them once he crossed the gorge as well, headed to take the lead and guide his soldiers out of the Bottomless Canyon.

Ileana felt her blood boil as he strode past her without sparing a glance, and snarled: «I will give you nothing.»

He stopped at her words. He had a smirk on his face as he approached her, as if her defiance did nothing but amuse him. «Willingly, you won’t. I am well aware. That won’t stop me from taking anyway. For instance…»

She refused to flinch as his touch brushed her hips, aiming for the leather belt wrapped around her waist. He made surprisingly quick work of its buckles, and she felt the weight of Ganglari leave her side. She had been carrying the sword for so long it had become a comfort, even though she had known from the start she was never going to wield it. Having it stripped away was unsettling.

«What does a mage like you do with a blade like this, anyway.»

She released the breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding. «Just about the same a Sniper would.»

He completely ignored her, focused at slipping Ganglari’s scabbard from her belt to tie it directly to his own battle uniform, his hands examining the sword’s hilt almost reverently.

«Forgive me, milady.» the Master Ninja murmured as he took hold of her wrists and began to wrap them in a surprisingly soft cloth. «Allow me to make introductions for everyone. I am Kaze. The Master of Arms you dueled with is Hinata, and the Spear Master you argued with is Oboro. They are both retainers of the second Prince of Hoshido standing before you, Lord Takumi.» the knot he fastened was tight, but not enough to hurt. «May I have your name, my Lady?»

«I am Ileana, fourth Princess of Nohr in line to the Throne of Thorns, daughter of the Obsidian King.»

The world seemed to tip a little when the words were out of her mouth. While Kaze nodded knowingly, hiding his smile in her hair, the two retainers turned to watch her with an expression she could only describe as disbelief. Their eyes immediately rushed to their Prince, who looked frozen on the spot, his hands still but trembling slightly as they grasped the strings of the scabbard. When he looked at her, in his eyes she saw even more anger than when he had appeared eager to bury his arrow right through her heart.

«That’s not possible.» he spat through his teeth as he strode close to her – and this time, Ileana would have definitely stepped back, hadn’t Kaze’s body been there to cut off her retreat. His hand seized her scalp and pulled her close, caring little for the painful way her neck twisted when he forced her to face him. «You’re lying.»

Ileana squirmed, trying to break free of his hold, but a small whimper slipped from her lips when all she managed to obtain was the cruel tightening of his grasp. «Why would I?» she hissed back.

His hand trembled against her scalp, not letting go even when he put a bit of distance between them – just enough to draw Ganglari and press its tip against her throat. The cold, razor-edged metal sent shivers down her spine.

«Don’t make me ask again, scum. Your name. Now.» he demanded, and the otherworldly sword gleamed of the same red shimmer that had sparkled in his eyes.

«I gave you my name!» she shrieked, her control slipping from her as she felt the blade lick her throat with every shudder that coursed through his hand. «You can hurt me as much as you want, I told the truth!»

«Your kind never tells the truth this easily. But I’m willing to go as far as it takes to ring it from you. You’ll break soon enough, mark my words.» he grunted, the weapon biting into her skin just enough to draw a bead of blood; the sword – her own sword, her father’s gift – seemed to hum ominously, in delight.

«Lord Takumi!»

Ileana felt the warmth of a hand brush her jaw as it pushed the blade away from her neck. Pain ignited in her scalp when the hand fisted in her hair refused to let go, but the unyielding resolve of the same arm that had kept her from sinking in the darkness of the Bottomless Canyon guided her back smoothly, and those fingers finally allowed her to slip out of their hold.

«Leave her be!» Kaze pleaded, his other arm circling the Princess’ shoulders protectively. «I… I really think it’s her, milord.»

Ileana could hear the Prince’s labored breath, but she refused to meet his sweltering gaze until she felt like she could withstand it. Xander would never tremble before an enemy. Camilla would never let anyone intimidate her into submission. Leo would never beg his captors for mercy. She had to be as strong as them.

For them.

«We shall send for my mother, then.» the Prince declared as Ileana finally lifted her head and squared her shoulders after taking a deep breath. The first thing she saw was his grimace at her defiance. «Kaze, go find Reina: I want to speak with her immediately. And I forbid you to set foot anywhere near this Nohrian dog as long as you answer to me.» he nodded towards his retainers, beckoning them close. «Oboro, you take care of the scum. Search her and bind her – _properly_ – and give Kaze back his scarf.»

Ileana stared haughtily at the Sniper as he turned her back on her. The woman called Oboro stepped closer, and she bared her teeth at her. Kaze’s comforting arms refused to uncoil.

«Lord Takumi!» he urged, an edge in his voice she wasn’t able to identify. «My Lord, please, if you would graciously allow me—»

«I gave you an order, Kaze.» the Prince interrupted, refusing to listen to the Master Ninja, not even turning around to face him. «You will not be the one to care for our prisoner. Because she _is_ our prisoner. Until proven otherwise, she is nothing but a valuable hostage and a source of information, and she will be treated accordingly. Understood?»

«My Lord.» this time Ileana realized what the edge in the man’s voice made his words sound like: he was warning him. «If we harm her before we are certain, Lady Mikoto—»

«Understood, Kaze?» the Prince insisted, cutting him off with both his voice and the threatening stare he shot him over his shoulder. «Mind you, I am not going to put up with any more of your interferences. Have I made myself clear?»

Kaze seemed to have to make a real effort to hold his tongue, and the respectful: «Yes, my Lord.» that he forced past his teeth were definitely not the words he would have liked to utter.

Ileana felt him leave one last soothing stroke on her arm before he stepped away and disappeared into the column of Hoshidans.

Those were going to be the only friendly hands she would find there, she realized as the soft fabric Kaze had used to bind her hands fell away only to be replaced by rough rope coiling fast around her wrists. The bonds bit hard in her skin as they tightened, securing her hands behind her back at an angle that made her shoulder hurt, and she hissed at the jolt of pain that shot down her strained arm.

«This is for comparing me to a Nohrian dog.» the Spear Master snarled as she secured the abrasive shackles with a taut knot. «Now, move.»

Without another sound, Ileana allowed her to push her down the road, but kept her shoulders squared, her head held high, her face schooled into a mask of disdain and superiority. She wasn’t going to bow down just because they considered her _a walking corpse_ , absolutely not – no, she was going to make getting anything out of her as hard as she could.

She had nothing to lose, anyway.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Training -- Memories of a Princess -- A long-awaited message -- Arrival at Suzanoh.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS:  
> • angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Inuit)_   
>  _The feeling of anxious anticipation that leads you to keep looking outside to see if anyone has arrived. =_

**❝Iktsuarpok❞**

* * *

 

The Sun, so bright it was almost merciless, shone on the snow white feathers of the pegasus, but Hinoka wasn’t bothered at all: it was years since her eyes had learned to ignore its glare, especially in battle. The cold air brought by the Hunter Moon was brisk, and it tickled her tired lungs, but Hinoka was too focused on her enemy to even realize her fatigue.

She inhaled deeply, tightening her grip on the cool, smooth handle of her nageyari. She pulled her arm back, her eye evaluating the lethal arch her blade was going to draw in the air, watching her foe closely as she forced herself to wait for an opening.

The enemy Samurai was panting, as exhausted as the Falcon Knight: one of them was yet to prevail on the other, though they had been fighting without holding anything back since the very beginning of their duel. The fencer side-stepped and pushed her short, sweaty blonde hair from her equally sweaty brow and lowered her gaze – and that was the distraction Hinoka had been waiting for.

Her nageyari darted like savage lightning, slashing through the air with a deadly whistle. The Samurai twirled out of the way, the blade missing her by a hair’s breadth – and then, taking the Falcon Knight by surprise, she grabbed the lance that had almost impaled her and took advantage of her momentum to rip it from the ground and hurl it back at its owner. It was thrown with so much strength that Hinoka couldn’t even catch her own weapon, and the blade missed the pegasus’ wing by only a few inches.

«I DID IT!» the Samurai cheered, bouncing on the spot, and the Princess of Hoshido smiled at the triumph that glinted in those ruby irises.

Hinoka felt pride swell within her as she saw the younger girl screaming her victory to the skies above: they had been working on that technique since dawn, skipping lunch and forgetting all about their duties, too focused even to notice the small crowd that had gathered around the training ground to watch their duel.

«I’d call it a day, Zoe.» she stated, leading her faithful pegasus back to the ground and dismounting, trying to contain her mirth at the enthusiasm of her favorite recruit.

«What?! Why?» Zoe asked her, bending forward to stretch her back. «I’m not even tired! I could go on for—ouch!» she whimpered when her spine snapped quite audibly, loudly objecting to it owner’s intention of going through another session.

«You were saying?» Hinoka chuckled, getting close enough to ruffle her plenty ruffled blonde hair. «You have already done great, Zoe. No need to overwork yourself.»

Zoe shook her head, her long pointed ears flattening against her skull in chagrin. «Ever tried training under Saizo? Well, ‘overworking’ is not part of his vocabulary. » she grumbled, averting her eyes from the redhead’s understanding gaze and dragging her feet towards the nearest shade to flop on the soft grass that surrounded the training grounds.

Hinoka watched her close her eyes and relax her muscles with every breath, one by one. It was a technique taught to all the recruits: it allowed them – in due time – to reach an almost perfect understanding and control of their bodies.

But Zoe was still very far from achieving that, the Falcon Knight noticed as she tried to suppress the smile that alway tugged at her lips when faced with her friend’s stubbornness: she was too young, too impatient to be able to meditate long enough to actually relax. She reminded her of Ryoma: her perfect older brother had often slipped up because of his eagerness, too.

«Well, I’m not Saizo, and I’m calling it a day.» she sighed, though she knew her words were falling on deaf ears.

Zoe grumbled again – just as Hinoka expected – in disagreement with the Princess’ opinion. Her retort was cut short by another sharp remark.

«Lady Hinoka is right, Zoe. Your form is excellent. Your manners, however…»

Zoe’s lips parted in a toothy grin when she recognized the voice – Subaki, retainer to Hinoka’s youngest sister, Princess Sakura.

«Somebody has got to bring some cheer to this place. It would be so grim if everybody were just like you.» she quipped, cracking an eye open to sneer at the Falcon Knight.

Not that her glare could ever nick Subaki’s eternally composed expression. «Everybody would be a lot more respectful, that’s for sure.» he replied, bowing deeply to the Princess and folding hands neatly behind his back.

Zoe’s mischievous grin grew, and Hinoka could already hear the sharp remark that, a heartbeat later, was spat to the red-headed retainer.

«But you’d be so bored, surrounded with only copies of you.» she jeered at him, opening both eyes to shoot him a scornful look. «Why, I’m bored to my wits’ end with just one Subaki.»

Subaki’s gaze sharpened, and he smirked right back.

Hinoka would never understand why those two even bothered spending their time bickering, but she was fairly fairly sure that she was better off not knowing – she knew she wouldn’t like the answer, no she wouldn’t.

«I beg to differ.» he offered simply.

Zoe tensed like a bowstring, her playfulness all gone. «Admit it. You want me to wipe the floor with you _again_.» she hissed.

Subaki’s smirk turned into a grin so bright, it was blinding: he knew he had just scored a point in their little game – a game everyone in Shirasagi Castle was used to by now. 

«It’s been years, Zoe.» he sighed, elegantly rolling his eyes after bowing to the Princess. He stepped close to the Samurai and: «You’d lose this time.» he blew under his breath, his long, dark red hair shining in the sunlight when he leaned in.

Hinoka only sighed. She remembered perfectly the match they were talking about: a few years before, during a training session, the usually impeccable Subaki – the same Subaki who couldn’t handle defeat – had been beaten to a pulp by a Zoe set on teaching him a lesson that the whole Castle still hadn’t forgotten.

The Hoshidan Princess fought back a smile, remembering Zoe’s pleased grin and Subaki’s traumatized stare. They were competitive to a fault, and while a part of her thought it was about time they calmed down, she would be lying if she told she didn’t feel proud of the excellent duel Zoe had fought that day.

Zoe had sacrificed everything to become one of the best soldiers of all of Hoshido. All her teachers and tutors were proud – and Hinoka herself was proud too: she had always supported her, even when many had objected to her decision to train as a soldier and a retainer.

_She, more than anyone, could understand_.

«I’ve done nothing but improve. You sure you want to test your steel against mine?» Zoe snickered as she jumped to her feet and began collecting the many weapons she and Hinoka had used as they trained, which now laid forsaken on the ground.

«Zoe.» the Princess warned her, but had to fight to suppress the laughter bubbling in her throat: Zoe’s mind was sharp, and her tongue sharper still – a gift she had picked up from her adoptive mother, Orochi.

Zoe chewed on her lip to keep her smirk from showing, bowing her head in remorse. «Sorry, Hinoka.»

Her voice sounded apologetic enough… too bad her pointed ears gave her away – they had costed their owner year and years of mockery, but they were and had always been a very good indicator of Zoe’s emotional state. And judging by how they were standing upright through her hair, Hinoka could tell just how little she regretted the insults she had thrown at Subaki.

By Hotoke, she resembled Orochi more and more every day.

«It’s _Lady_ Hinoka to you, Zoe.» Subaki interjected, shooting an exasperated glare at the Samurai.

Hinoka just shook her head, waving it off with a shrug while gesturing to Zoe to hold her tongue. «Don’t worry about it, Subaki, it’s fine.» she smiled, hoping that the retainer would just drop the issue and let Zoe put away the blades in the weapon racks in peace.

But Subaki didn’t look like he was going to let slide what he, as the only heir of one of the most influential families of the whole Kingdom of Hoshido, considered an unforgivable sign of disrespect.

«My Lady, if I may speak freely…» he began, bowing his head to her when she allowed him to continue. «Zoe is an excellent warrior, but what she needs isn’t any additional training.» he stated, glaring disapprovingly at Zoe. «What she needs is a liege of her own, or her… _exuberance_ will get out of control. And she’s never been very discipled to begin with.»

Hinoka bit her tongue, giving a tiny nod in response. He wasn’t wrong, that much she couldn’t deny.

They had always granted more freedom to Zoe that to any other retainer, mostly due to her relationship with the current ruler of Hoshido: Queen Mikoto had found her orphaned when she was a baby, and had taken her in as her own daughter when she sought refuge at Sumeragi’s court.

She had been raised by the Queen’s retainers themselves since she was only five, and she had grown up treating the royal children as siblings – especially Hinoka’s younger brother and sister, Takumi and Sakura, who had been around her for as long as they could remember.

Nobody had ever really complained about that behavior, never really deemed it bothersome or disrespectful… especially since Zoe had witnessed with her own eyes the murder of the Marble King, so many years ago, as well as the kidnapping of Mikoto’s flesh and blood.

…or, at least, that was what they had been telling Zoe for fourteen years.

But she could see the wisdom in Subaki’s words: Zoe had grown up thinking she was an orphan, and so had grown a restlessness in her heart that even Saizo, who had been in charge with her training, couldn’t contain completely. Only, Subaki couldn’t know – couldn’t imagine – what was in store for the girl who had fought so hard to earn something that was actually her birthright.

«Oh, now you’re just begging for it, you stupid peacock… just wait until I get you alone, and our last sparring session will seem like a walk in the park…» Zoe grumbled behind Hinoka, making her jump: the Princess hadn’t heard her approach – not that it was odd: Zoe had grown up with ninjas, and she could be as quiet as those born to walk in the shadows.

«It’s impolite to mumble, Zoe.» Subaki scolded her, his hand darting out to pull her ear quickly, retreating it before she could bite his whole arm off.

Finding it harder than ever to hold back her laughter any longer, Hinoka forced herself to take a deep breath and ran a hand over her Falcon Knight uniform to smooth out every crease to keep her eyes from the deeply outraged expression on Zoe’s face.

«I think I’ll let you sort this out on your own.» she declared, breaking them apart just enough for them to bow to her their farewell, which she returned with a nod of her head. «Subaki. Zoe.»

«Hinoka.» Zoe waved her goodbye until she deemed the Princess far enough… and then she pounced on Subaki, aiming a kick to his knee that he managed to dodge at the last second. «By the Seven, Subaki, one of these days I’m going to kick you _so hard_ , right in the—»

«Language!» the Falcon Knight snickered, sidestepping a punch and parring another one, catching Zoe’s gloved hand in his own. He tugged her closer and laughed when Zoe blushed crimson, and wrenched her arm from his grip.

«And you’re telling _me_ to mind my language!» she snarled, her bright red ears quivering with embarrassment and frustration. «I don’t even know why I still put up with you!» 

And she stormed off, stomping as she made her way towards the girl’s quarters where that _idiot_ wasn’t allowed to nag her.

 

Hinoka finally allowed herself that bout of laughter she had been holding back, once safely hidden behind one of the many statues that lined the paths to Shirasagi’s training grounds. She leaned back into the cold, white marble – in which decades ago had been carved the bulky figure of a warrior, katana in hand. She tried to muffle her mirth by pressing both hands on her mouth. She struggled to catch her breath, wiping happy tears out of her eyes, but not the smile off her face.

Zoe had always been a force of nature.

She had come to Shirasagi when Hinoka was still just a child, hand in hand with the woman who was going to become the second wife of the Marble King and the Queen Regent of Hoshido.

Hinoka only remembered Sumeragi for his lion-like mane of hair and his roaring laughter, and for his kindness: he had taken in Mikoto and the two little girl clinging to her skirts, offering shelter and sympathy to a woman who had come from nowhere. Lady Ikona, Hinoka’s birth mother and Queen at that time, had taken in Mikoto as her handmaiden, allowing her to provide honorably for the two infant girls she called her daughters.

The Queen and her new handmaiden had quickly become friends – both mothers, both compassionate, both caring. Hinoka didn’t remember much of that time, unfortunately, other than the carding of a hand through her messy red hair – her mother’s hair. Ikona was expecting Sakura, at the time: her fourth child. That pregnancy had been her doom: she had always been a frail, sickly woman; her death had been a hard blow to all of Hoshido.

Hinoka had been too young to be able to recall the pain she must have felt at the death of her mother. All she knew had been told to her, but she could easily picture it: her child-self, huddled before blanket of flowers draped on Ikona’s lifeless form, her hand grasped in Takumi’s, her little brother, and Mikoto’s trembling arm around Ryoma’s shoulders while she held the newborn Princess, Sakura.

She was sure that on that day the sky itself had mourned the loss of the King’s smile.

Mikoto had grown very close to the deceased Queen, so it was only natural that she took to care for her friend’s children: she had cradled Sakura as she had cradled her daughters; she had gently explained to Takumi why his mother wasn’t coming back; she had let Hinoka climb in her bed when her nightmares woke her with a start; she had endeavored to keep Ryoma from wallowing in despair for Ikona’s death by asking him to watch Zoe and Ileana – her two daughters.

The King had been grateful for the way she had filled his children’s lives with tenderness and love in such a bleak hour. Her kindness had drawn him to her, and he too had found solace in the caring smile that meant so much to his children. Her understanding of his grief over Ikona’s death had been a balm… and eventually, their friendship had grown into love, and he had made Mikoto Hoshido’s new Queen.

Many had been unhappy with their marriage: to an outsider’s eyes, it looked like Mikoto had manipulated the Queen first and the King next. That opinion couldn’t last for long: Lady Mikoto’s warmth and devotion won over the hearts of the Hoshidans as they watched the smile bloom once more on Sumeragi’s lips as their Queen’s children were showered with a love they returned in full. Light had returned to Hoshido, thanks to Mikoto, and the capital’s streets were again filled with music, flowers and mirth.

Sumeragi had taken in Mikoto’s daughters as well, though only her flesh and blood was meant to be recognized as Princess – Mikoto had told to him and to Ryoma that she had had a child from her long deceased husband, while the other girl she had found lying in the burning remains of a decayed home.

And then the Marble King had fallen, and the mourning veil had once more enshrouded Hoshido.

Ryoma had been brought back by Saizo the Fourth and his sons, the twins Saizo the Fifth and Kaze. With him there was only one of the little girls Sumeragi had brought to Cheve to keep company to his firstborn: Zoe.

Zoe’s blank expression was still crystal clear in Hinoka’s memories. She had been brought back to Shirasagi without her beloved little sister, who had been taken away from her – kidnapped, if not already killed by the Nohrian King Garon. Zoe’s childhood had ended abruptly on that grim night of Cheve, with Ileana’s abduction marking the end of her innocence. She had been too young to remember the truth…

It had been that loss, that guilt that Zoe had felt even though no one had ever, ever blamed her, that had forged the strong, determinate woman who had picked up a sword when she was a child and had sworn to become the soldier who would take Ileana back.

The lost Princess had been her guiding light for the longest time – she had been the obsession that had made her endure Saizo’s training without a word of complained, she had been the rage coursing through her hands as they grew callused and used to gripping hilts. However, in time, that sick fury had subsided. Recently, Zoe had been talking about her ambition of a career in the army – to become a daimyo, a general.

Of course, she had no way to know that her path had already been traced. Hinoka could understand her need for a role, a destiny – could understand Zoe’s wish to fight, to earn a position that could enable her to protect families, so that no one would lose their little girl ever again.

Hinoka herself had become a soldier for the same reasons, after all.

«Hinoka, my dear.»

A soft, tender voice snapped Hinoka out of her thoughts and chased away the darkness from her face. The Princess tilted her head up, trying to wipe away the sadness that had filled her eyes, managing a smile when she found herself looking at her mother’s face.

«Mother.» she greeted her, lifting her hands to take Mikoto’s held out ones, squeezing them as lovingly as she could and feeling the worry weighing on her chest just… melting away. Mikoto had always had that effect on any she reached out to, and Hinoka was proud and happy to call mother someone who could make people feel lighter even in their darkest hour.

The noise from the training grounds shattered their moment, and Mikoto’s eyes managed to catch Zoe stomping away towards the women’s quarters, clearly fuming. Hinoka chuckled and even the Queen smiled, amused.

«Ah. I see some things never change.» she giggled, noticing the telltale swish of Subaki’s hair as he began his own training session.

«Indeed. They can’t stand one another.» Hinoka agreed, waiting for Zoe to get inside before she linked arms with her mother and headed towards the castle.

«Well, they can both be quite touchy.» Mikoto nodded, knowing perfectly well how hot the rivalry between those two could burn.

Though she had forced herself to put some distance between herself and Zoe after Sumeragi’s death, Mikoto had never stopped to watch over the Samurai she had once called her daughter, regularly checking on her progress and her wellbeing. Both Hinoka and Ryoma had tried to keep the Queen’s mind off of her loss, telling her about their days, their siblings’, and Zoe’s.

And as it always happened whenever Zoe came up in their conversations, the Queen’s face darkened, and Hinoka’s heart ached.

«She’s become such a wonderful young woman…» she whispered, her barely audible statement lost in Hoshido’s evening breeze, and she tightened ever so slightly her grip on Hinoka’s arm.

Yes, Zoe was all grown up, and she had become a warrior and a person that any parent would be proud of – but not Mikoto, not the mother that had to hide from her daughter her love, her birthright, her family.

«Mother…» Hinoka’s voice broke when the weight of the woman’s pain settled on her shoulders – it was so plain, in the way she chocked back a sob, in the way she watched the Hoshidan bright Sun setting just like she had watched the horizon, so many years ago, waiting for her daughters to return from Cheve. «Will you ever tell her the truth?»

Mikoto lowered her gaze, and the eldest of her daughters could see a telltale shimmer in her eyes as the corners of her lips scrunched in agony, and regret.

_The truth_.

Oh, what a wonderful, terrible thing it could be, both a blessing and a curse. Hinoka had been awaiting impatiently, for years, the day until they could tell Zoe what had been done to protect her… but it wasn’t her decision to male; so she had struggled to be patient, waiting for that moment, when Mikoto would finally set those who knew free of that silent curse they had endured for so long.

«Yes.» the Queen promised, trusting the cold breeze with her hopes, Hinoka’s, and the hopes of all of those who were eager to welcome the rightful Princess in the loving embrace of the Hoshidan royal family.

The call of a kinshi bird rang loud and clear, the sound filling their ears as Princess and Queen looked up just in time to catch a glimpse of midnight blue hair and the snow white uniform of the knight that had been serving as royal retainer for so many years.

Mikoto smiled, a twinkle in her eyes as her porcelain face shed all grief, while she watched the graceful glide of her trusted, beloved Reina. «Sooner than I thought myself.»

 

Zoe’s ears pricked up and her scowl turned into the brightest of smiles when the familiar call of a kinshi bird chased any remnant thought of Subaki from her mind.

«Reina!» she beamed, forgetting all about the sandals she was about to put on and running out of the baths just in time to see a very familiar kinshi bird gracefully glide towards the ground, white feathers shining like stars against the darkening skies.

Not even bothering to stop and check for the identity of the rider – she knew who it was, and she knew she wasn’t wrong – she leapt towards the nearest statue, clung to its marble arm and began climbing up. She had always loved climbing, ever since she was a child: there wasn’t statue nor tree in all of Castle Shirasagi that hadn’t been scaled so she could watch the world unravel beneath her.

She pulled herself atop the head without breaking a sweat, her bare feet finding purchase on the bumps of the stone. Subaki would have a fit if he saw her behave like a wildcat… _so she definitely had to make sure he was watching next time_ , she noted with an amused smile. She crouched as the kinshi bird passed just a bit above her head and then jumped, arms outstretched to reach the creature’s feet.

The kinshi bird didn’t even screech nor veer – instead, he picked up his feet to let her climb behind one of his vast wings, close enough for his rider to grab her by the scruff of her neck and pull her up. Zoe laughed when that firm yet delicate grip clawed at the collar of her clothes and she hugged the lean form of the rider when she pulled her in her arms and squeezed her so tightly, she knocked the air out of the Samurai.

«You’re back!» Zoe chirped, ecstatic, burying her face in the shoulder of the blue-haired woman that had helped raise her, along with Orochi and Kagero.

Reina, the eldest of Mikoto’s retainers, tenderly patted the girl’s cheek and planted a kiss in her ash blonde hair. «My dear child, I am so happy to see you!» she cooed.

Zoe reveled in every second of the hug that for years had lulled her to sleep and chased away her nightmares.

Reina, Orochi and Kagero had been made her tutors right after the Cheve Incident, and Zoe couldn’t even remember what life was like without them. They were her family, her safe harbor in a storming world she hadn’t quite learned to navigate just yet, and she loved them with all her heart.

«I thought you would be gone for another week!» she chimed, smiling up at the Kinshi Knight.

Reina ruffled her hair affectionately and Zoe leaned in her touch, caring little for the roughness of the archer’s callused hand.

She sighed: it was such a shame she couldn’t indulge in physical contact of any kind very often, since in Hoshido it was considered something intimate and to be kept behind closed sliding doors.

«How was your day?» Reina asked her, helping her settle on the saddle, in front of her.

More comfortably sat, Zoe took the reins in her hands and squeezed her knees to take control of the kinshi bird and directing him towards the stables. Katsu immediately adjusted his glide, obeying without ruffling his feathers at the different touch: he knew Zoe – it was her, after all, who had picked him up when he was only a wounded, scrawny little chick.

«Hinoka taught me a new way to counter an attack with the nageyari. Oh, I can’t wait to show you! And I quarreled with Subaki, again, as usual.» she rambled, her attention never straying from her surroundings or from the maneuvers she had to have Katsu perform.

Reina’s grasp on her shoulders tightened, and Zoe felt the sharpness in her voice: «Should I pay him a visit?» 

> _«Eina!»_
> 
> _Reina opens her arms to the sobbing little girl flying towards her, her long and pointy ears sticking out behind the short twin-tails Orochi has braided in her hair in an attempt to tame her indomitable ash blonde tresses. She hugs the woman tightly, her small hands balling into fists in her clothing as she tries to fight back tears._
> 
> _«Subaki and Hinata won’t stop pulling my ears!» she whines, and Reina notices that the tips of the child’s ears do look a bit redder than they should be._
> 
> _«Oh, my poor dear child. Don’t cry.» she soothes, taking her face in her hands and thumbing away the tears that Zoe always tries to hide. She looks like a little porcelain doll with that white kimono that she’s wearing, but Reina knows that she’s much fiercer than she looks. «How about this: why don’t we go pull their ears until we rip the from their heads?» she suggests, and the child’s scarlet eyes immediately light up._
> 
> _«Yeah, let’s!»_

Zoe grinned at the memory of those wailing, hateful boys writhing under Reina’s fingers. And yet, they had somehow grown into two of the people she deeply cared about – well, sort of: _Hinata_ she deeply cared about… she could do without Subaki.

_Stupid, self-centered, narcissistic peacock_. She would have to teach him another lesson, the sooner the better.

«Oh, don’t worry, I can deal with him on my own by now. He’s just annoying.» she shrugged as Katsu finally landed. She hopped down immediately, leading him inside of the stables so that he could be fed and brushed. «How was your flight? Are you tired? I can get a warm bath ready for you. Oh, what about Takumi and Kaze? Are they alright?» she asked, suddenly remembering that Reina had been tasked with supervising the young Prince’s scouting mission at the Kingdom’s borders.

«You’re always so impetuous.» Reina laughed as she handed her weapons to the Samurai so that she could store them away. «Takumi and Kaze are fine. And I would love a warm bath. Wait for me in my quarters, I’ll meet you there as soon as I’ve reported to the Queen.»

Zoe nodded swiftly. «Yes, ma’am!»

The woman snorted and smacked Zoe’s shoulder lightly. «Good girl.» she praised her.

Before they could exchange another word, the elegant figure of the Queen herself stepped past the threshold of the stables.

«Lady Mikoto!» Zoe exclaimed, immediately fixing her posture and bowing deeply. «Good morning, milady.» she greeted her, her long ears flattened against her head.

It had been years since Lady Mikoto had treated Zoe as equal to her own daughter, Ileana. Back then, Zoe was allowed to address the Queen familiarly… but that was a long time ago, so long it only endured as shimmer in her memories.

_Ileana._

She had heard so much about the lost Princess, about the daughter the Obsidian King had ripped away from the cooling arms of King Sumeragi. Even though she _knew_ they had been like sisters when they were little, all Zoe could remember was a slip of a girl with hair much like her own who loved cookies and playing hide-and-seek with her, Hinata and Takumi.

And yet, it was for Ileana that Zoe had become what she was – for Ileana, and for the sadness in Lady Mikoto’s eyes, for the still bleeding wound suffered by the Kingdom she called her home, and loved with all her heart.

She remembered nothing of that fateful night in Cheve, other than Kaze’s firm arms and her own tears: they had taken away her little sister, her King had been murdered by Garon the Tyrant and the only mother she ever knew had suddenly turned stone-cold.

When she was little, she had often thought that Mikoto had done so because she was mad at her for not taking Ileana’s place, for not bringing her daughter back. The Queen’s eyes were always so sad whenever they met hers, that an irrational guilt had threatened to swallow her whole, alive: it had kept her awake to the point that Orochi had been forced to brew sleeping potions for her. Its grip had finally weakened once she turned six: she had begun to demand that Saizo, Ryoma’s retainer, took her as his apprentice, with such a determination that the Master Ninja simply had to grant her her wish.

Saizo had been only the first of the teachers whose help she had enlisted throughout her childhood: after him had come Reina and Orochi, who had taught her archery and magic – well, tried to teach her magic, because Zoe’s unruly temper and impatience had prevented her from completing even the simplest spell – while Kagero joined Saizo to further hone her skills with both shurikens and katanas.

Ryoma and Hinoka had often tried to put an end to that far too intensive training regimen out of concern and of the love they felt for the little girl. They were very close to Zoe: she had grown up right next to Takumi and Sakura, becoming their playmate and favorite troublemaker – and troubles she had made alright, especially when Takumi was there to back her up. However, in spite of their opposition, Zoe had pushed on, obsessed by the guilt she had taken upon herself.

It had been hard for her, having to accept that there was nothing she could have done, as a five-year-old, that she couldn’t have accomplished anything except getting herself killed. Sure, she had wished time and time again that everything would have been alright if the Obsidian King had taken her instead of the Princess – and a part of her would never stop wishing for it. But in the end she had understood that torturing herself over something she couldn’t change anyway was useless, and unhealthy.

Though she still couldn’t meet the Queen’s eyes: the sadness in her dark irises haunted her.

«Good afternoon to you, dear Zoe.» the Queen greeted her with a kind smile, giving her permission to straighten her back.

Lady Mikoto was as elegant as ever, and, as ever, Zoe saw the sorrow that permanently veiled her brown eyes – the sorrow that had weighted on her through all her childhood. Luckily, the Queen fixed her gaze on her retainer.

«Reina, you look well. I’m so glad. Is my son alright?» she asked, and Zoe’s shoulders relaxed a little.

She couldn’t help but feeling under scrutiny whenever she came across Lady Mikoto, even though the woman had been nothing but lovable and kind ever since she could remember.

Reina nodded. «Yes, milady, Prince Takumi looked as healthy as ever when we parted. He asked me to deliver a message as soon as possible. A… _private_ message.» she reported, turning slightly to Zoe and tilting her head towards the stables’ door.

The girl nodded and bowed to her tutor and to her Queen. «I shall take my leave then. Lady Mikoto.» she said, and then vanished in Shirasagi’s bright dusk.

Reina smiled, her fingers carding through the short, soft feathers of Katsu’s neck. «She’s a good girl.» she murmured.

The Queen allowed herself to sigh. «Yes. You, Orochi and Kagero have done a wonderful job.» she replied quietly, and Reina knew that those words cost her Queen much more than anyone could fathom. Lady Mikoto shook her head, and seemed to shake off the melancholy as well. «But tell me, Reina. What is the message that Takumi sends?»

The Kinshi Knight took a deep breath, turning around fully to face Mikoto openly. «We’ve found her, milady.» she whispered, and even her kinshi bird seemed to still under her callused touch.

The Queen’s breath caught, color draining from her face in front of Reina’s terribly somber expression.

«We’ve found Ileana.»

 

* * *

 

Humming to herself, Zoe dropped Reina’s emptied bags next to the door. It had been no trouble at all to put everything in its proper place: she had always performed such tasks, as they were part of the duties of a competent retainer. The only thing left to do was to heat the water for Reina’s bath and wait for her meeting to end – and then, _finally_ , she could ask her everything about Takumi’s mysterious message.

She wasn’t worried about him: Takumi was an excellent archer, deadly with his Fujin and fearsome with a katana. Plus, there were his retainers with him, along with Kaze, one of the most skilled Master Ninjas in all of Hoshido.

Oh, no, she only wanted to know why Reina had been sent back before the Prince’s troops, and what was up with all that secrecy…

Light, familiar steps shook her from her musings. She turned with a smile, rushing towards the sliding door exactly as it opened. «Mom!» she exclaimed, burying her face in the soft breasts of the woman standing at the doorway.

« _Ooof_!» the woman wheezed, holding onto the girl’s shoulders to avoid stumbling backwards. «You’re getting too big to pounce poor Orochi like this, kitty!» she sighed, but there was a smile on her lips as Zoe just hugged her tighter.

But Orochi was right: she had been taller than the woman she called her mother before she even turned sixteen, and she was bulkier too – more muscular, on top of sharing the same round curves of the Onmyoji.

«Sooorryyy!» she sang, looking at her once she decided she had smothered her mother enough.

Orochi said nothing, simply pushing the girl’s ruffled hair out of her eyes and tucking the strands behind her ears.

Zoe cocked her head, finding the woman’s silence very uncharacteristic – and suspicious. «Everything alright? You look nervous.» she stated, her ears quivering with worry as she gazed into those loving, familiar lilac eyes.

Orochi smiled at the shiver in her ears – they made reading her so easy, she thought as she traced them tenderly, fully aware of how sensitive they were. «You know me well.» she praised her, and stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on the Samurai’s cheek.

Zoe’s eyes closed in appreciation, and Orochi wouldn’t be surprised to hear her purr. She sighed, gripping the girl’s shoulders with her warm hands.

«Lady Mikoto has summoned all her children, the retainers… and you.» she reported, and to Zoe it was crystal clear that, had it been up to Orochi, she wouldn’t even have been told about the storm she could sense gathering in her near future – which seemed to be much darker than she had predicted.

«Me?» Zoe asked, surprised. She hadn’t sworn the retainer’s oath yet: they had decided to wait at least until Takumi’s return, though nobody had told her who she’d be assigned to, nor if they were going to let her undergo the trials to make her way up the army’s ranks… so why would the Queen request _her_ presence?

«Yes. Come now. The Queen will explain it all herself.» Orochi finished briefly as she took her hand to guide her down the corridors, reticent as Zoe had never heard her before.

«Aaaw, but can’t you tell me anything? Not even drop me a teeny tiny hint?» she purred, but huffed in irritation when Orochi shook her head. «Mom, you can be a real tease sometimes!» she grumbled, snatching her own hand back and crossing her arms over her chest.

Her _adorable_ pout managed to make Orochi crack a smile. «Oh, can’t you wait for just a moment?» she chided as she stopped in front of the Throne room’s doors. Then she slipped in. «Here we are, Lady Mikoto.» she announced, bowing down to the Queen, Prince and Princesses that had assembled around the raven-haired woman. She went and took her place next to Kagero, who was standing diligently next to Saizo, behind Ryoma.

Zoe followed her in, and froze when she felt everyone’s eyes on her. She bowed deeply, grateful for the opportunity to hide her face from their staring, even though it couldn’t last. She shot a tentative glance to the Princesses as she straightened herself. Hinoka smiled at her, and Sakura – tailed by Subaki and loyal Hana – climbed down the steps to loop an arm under Zoe’s and lead her towards the Queen and the High Prince.

Ryoma’s hand waved her a welcome and that, along with Sakura’s soft fingers resting on her arm, calmed the Samurai. Though she had known the royal family for years, it was more than a bit unnerving to be stared at so: she had spent so long in the shadows that even a handful of people felt like a crowd to her, and made her slightly nauseous.

She forced herself not to stare at everyone, even though she was longing for the reassurance she knew she would find on Hana’s and Hinoka’s faces. Instead, she held on tighter to Sakura: the youngest, shy Princess’ touch was firm and safe, and Zoe allowed it to soothe her.

After all, those same hands had patched her up after every training session, had always comforted her after the odd nasty insult that the noble brats would often spit at her.

Zoe shivered when she felt her sensei’s gaze on her: had Saizo found out about everything she had kept from him over the years, he would have scolded her for months to come for lying to him and would have sentenced her to cleaning the aviary for a decade – and then he would have gone to those that had humiliated her her whole life and demanded a price too high just to avenge a nobody.

And what was there to avenge, anyway? Insults, pranks, the feeling of being scum – something Zoe still felt every time she met the haughty glares of the Hoshidan nobles. After all, with the exception of a couple of accidents she didn’t like to remember, what he had been through wasn’t anything extreme. So she had never mentioned anything to anyone – except for Sakura, though even Subaki knew – which one of the many reasons she couldn’t stand him.

Then Lady Mikoto sighed, grabbing her attention. The Queen of Hoshidowas beautiful, as usual, and as distant as ever, wearing her blue-and-white robe and her sun tiara, which shone on her dark hair. Her gaze was on her, piercing as she had never seen it before, and Zoe’s stomach twisted in self-doubt as she stared back.

«Milady…?» she prompted weakly, confused by the Queen’s eyes on her – she didn’t like that look, oh, she didn’t like it _one bit_. The Queen beckoned her closer, and Zoe could see a tension in her shoulders that hadn’t been there in the stables.

«Come, Zoe.» Mikoto called, and Zoe fought back a grimace as she stepped away from Sakura’s side to climb those few steps that kept her below Mikoto and Ryoma.

The High Prince of Hoshido sidestepped, so that she could move closer. Zoe silently thanked him for that: she had always found his presence blissfully reassuring – _and only the Dawn Dragon knew how much she was going to need it_.

Mikoto and Ryoma exchanged the smallest nod, and then the Queen’s attention was back on Zoe. «Reina’s message concerns you as well, my dear.» she began, hands clasped before her. «As I understand it, Takumi was engaged by Nohrian troops as he scouted the border at the Bottomless Canyon.» she explained.

Zoe paled and shot a terrified glance to Ryoma, an image of a wounded Takumiflashing through her mind – her darling Takumi who always made her mand, her darling little brother, injured in the battle…

«Don’t worry, they’re all well.» he supplied immediately, and watched her sigh in relief – he knew how close she was to Takumi, Kaze and Hinata, who served as his brother’s retainer along with the Spear Master Oboro.

She mouthed a quiet _thank you_ to him, and then focused again on Mikoto’s words.

«Takumi would like to meet with us at the Great Wall of Suzanoh, to interrogate the prisoner he took – a member of the Nohrian royal family.»

At that, Zoe couldn’t hold back: «You’re kidding!» she blurted.

«Deshi!» Saizo hissed as Orochi sighed.

«An understandable reaction, Saizo.» Mikoto dismissed their reproach and the girl’s outburst with a wave of her hand, and looked at Zoe in the eyes. «My dear… the royal he captured… she’s not one we’ve met in battlebefore. We hadn’t know of her existence until this day.»

«That’s not possible…» Zoe croaked, her heart pounding in her ears as the one wish she had made to the stars time and time again, for years, burned in her veins like wildfire.

_Had the Dragons really listened to her prayers after all?_

Lady Mikoto seemed to notice how the glimmer of hope that had been the young Samurai’s guiding star all her life ignited a wildfire in her ruby eyes. She nodded, her lips paling as the feeling that she was about to pay the price of the choice made so many years before weighed on her heart.

«It is. I would like for you to accompany Ryoma and me to Suzanoh, because…» she continued, trying to sound and look calm, though she could feel Fate breathing down her neck. «…Kaze believes the captured Princess could be Ileana.»

 

She had to calm down.

Zoe closed her eyes, trying to resist the urge to bury her hands in her hair to pull at it. She had to _focus_.

She gritted her teeth, feeling her sharp and pointy canines prick her lips. She struggled to breathe deeply, to block all the noises out of her mind, but it was all in vain: her headache flared at every single chirp of a songbird, or at the distant cry of a kinshi bird. It had gripped her brain as soon as the lost Princess’ name had echoed in her ears, and it refused to let go of her.

She threw her bag on her futon and toppled on it herself, limp, an agonizing whimper slipping past her lips.

She had to calm down.

She had to rein in those storming thoughts that could only drown her. She couldn’t falter now, even if distress had turned her muscles into painful knots and had started a seaquake in her stomach.

_Ileana_.

She had dedicated her whole life to growing into a warrior capable of sneaking into Nohr to find out what had happened to the Queen’s daughter. Ileana had been her guiding light, a charm that restored her strength when she wavered…

If Ileana hadn’t been taken, Zoe would have become her retainer. That was what she had always been told, and that had always filled her with shame and guilt: she hadn’t been able to care for her when Ileana had needed her to protect her. Saizo had gone through a lot of trouble to make her understand that there was nothing that a five-year-old could have done to stop the Obsidian King. But Zoe had cradled her guilt, had turned it into an obsession, and it had taken years for her sensei’s words to finally breach through her walls.

She didn’t know what to do. She didn’t know how she should act with her, what she should tell her. What if growing up with King Garon had corrupted her, twisted her into something wicked? What if Ileana – if it was even her, and not a fraud – had become a monster on par with the Obsidian King?

Zoe had become a soldier, a Samurai, because she needed something to strive for and nothing else would satisfy her. At age six, she had taken up a sword because becoming _stronger_ had been her only way to deal with something that the fragile, timid child she had been couldn’t survive. Her stubbornness had made her grow into a protector, someone that could protect herself and her loved ones; the samurai’s code had become her shield, to protect the delicate part of her that would crumble under a stupid insult.

Her hope had been that of becoming, one day, a soldier strong enough to face King Garon’s army – an ambitious objective, probably unrealistic, and she knew. That hope had kept her sane, had pushed her to endure each and every excruciating session of Saizo’s training, had made her grit her teeth as she lost count of the calluses on her hands and of the cuts on her skin.

The thought of Ileana had slowly drifted to the back of her mind: it had become an ever-present, silent reminder of how much pain the King of Nohr had done to the family she was honored to serve, to the Queen whose sad eyes haunted her, to her – because she could never forget how she had screamed when Ileana had been ripped from her arms, the pain she had felt. And it was for herself, for the Queen, and for all those families that that cold war had already destroyed that Zoe had kept her eyes on her prize, regardless of the nobles’ scorn and of the frustration she felt when she was reminded that she hadn’t even begun to walk the path nobody could stop her from choosing, even though she was already twenty.

But she couldn’t keep at bay her anxiety, excitement and fear running together through her veins. Finally, after all those years, they finally had _something_ , a reason to believe that Ileana might still be alive, that there was the slightest change to get her back… and all the thoughts and the emotions that Zoe had allowed to drift away were suddenly back, and they were drowning her.

She wasn’t very good at dealing with emotions, but she knew that she had to calm down – because if she couldn’t manage by herself, she knew that someone would come to—

«Zoe.»

Zoe jumped right out of the whirlpool of pessimism and dread that had almost swallowed her whole. She had been so lost in her own dark thoughts that she hadn’t noticed Saizo appearing right next to her.

«Saizo!» she grumbled, standing up to bow to the intimidating, one-eyed Master Ninja.

«What happened to showing respect to your superiors, deshi?» Saizo snarled back bitterly, and Zoe hung her head: she knew she had overstepped in front of the Queen and in front of her adoptive mothers, and she had been dreading the moment her strictest teacher would come to scold her.

«I know. I’m sorry. I should have restrained myself.» Zoe acknowledged, turning around so at least she wouldn’t have to meet the anger harbored in that eye. «Did you need something? I’m a little busy right now.» she asked him.

She struggled to bring her focus back on the stuff she had to pack. She had already put on her Samurai clothes – a silver hakama and a short kimono that Orochi had had made for her as gift. She should bring a haori too, because Suzanoh was much colder – and she _hated_ the cold.

«I can see that much. It’s why I’ve come.»

Zoe whirled around, surprised: as perceptive as he was, the Master Ninja wasn’t one to care about the emotional state of others – with the exception of his liege, of course. Saizo sighed, running a hand through his blood red hair.

«I recommend you keep your head.» he offered, looking quite uncomfortable, and Zoe could see a hint of blush lining the upper edge of his mask – she was smart enough not to giggle at it: Saizo was as bad at dealing with emotions as she was, but she had long since learned to sense the worry her sensei hid behind his brusqueness.

«I find that quite hard.» she admitted as she folded her haori and placed it in her bag.

«That is no excuse.» Saizo scolded bitterly as she also pocketed some emergency snacks. «We don’t know if that girl is really Ileana. We can’t trust her, not even if Lady Mikoto recognizes her: we don’t know what she’s been taught and told all these years. You mustn’t—»

«I know!» Zoe snapped and turned, finally facing her master without fear. «I am not an idiot.» she growled, hands fisting in her hakama. «I know how to behave. I _know_. But…»

But it was so hard to keep her head.

Zoe sighed, feeling her anger fade. She knew that Saizo only wanted what was best for her, and right now he didn’t want her obsessive guilt to resurface and cloud her judgement, to jeopardize the fragile balance she had strived to build.

Saizo had always worried about her, in his own way: Zoe knew that he cared for her. He was the closest thing to a father she had ever had.

«I’m still a little shaken, that’s all.» she whispered, somewhat defeated.

She approached her closet and reached for a hidden panel, pushing it open: there, carefully kept out of sight and stored with the utmost care, was her most prized katana: it had a sawtooth blade, and scarlet silk wrapped around the grip. Saizo knew that Zoe treasured that sword, which Mikoto herself had given her as a gift on her eighteenth birthday, and he was also very much aware of how lethal it could be in her hands: when she had been appointed as Samurai, Ryoma had trained her himself; there were only a few that could rival her in all of Shirasagi.

«I know.» he nodded, quietly approving her choice: she had to prepare for the worst, and that weapon could give her the confidence that she seemed to lack at the moment. «Which is why you must exercise caution.» he added.

When Zoe whirled her head around to reply, he had already disappeared in the shadows. She rolled her eyes, and rubbed her face. «I would find it extremely annoying, if I wasn’t used to it.» she muttered as she fastened her red obi around her waist, sheathing her katana in one smooth, practiced motion – it had taken her so long to learn to do that without slashing her clothes into bits…

Reina’s stern voice reached her from outside her room, bringing her back to reality. «Ready to head out?»

«Yeah.» she called back, tossing her bag over her shoulder and pushing her hair back. «Let’s go.»

 

* * *

 

The Great Wall of Suzanoh was imposing and intimidating, built eras ago by the Hoshidan royal family to serve as the last and most fearsome line of defense for Shirasagi.

Zoe hated the place. She found it so… oppressive.

Of course, she knew the shield had served its purpose well time and time again in history, protecting her people during Hoshido’s darkest hours and seeing them through. Still, she couldn’t help but shiver before the massive stone wall reaching for the skies. Its ragged shadow seemed to generate dangers in every bush, setting her on edge.

She gripped the hilt of her katana, enjoying the smoothness of the silk under her skin. Comforted by the intricate tsukamaki pressing against her palm, her eyes roamed her surroundings – not that there was much to look at. She had jogged ahead of the Queen’s guards to make sure the road was safe, but around her there was nothing other than the trees that had lined their path throughout their journey.

«Deshi.»

This time, Saizo’s growling voice didn’t catch her off guard. Zoe glared at the Master Ninja, who sat perched on a tree branch, looming, a few yards away from the tree she had climbed herself.

«I do have a name. Just so you know.» she grumbled, but Saizo raised a hand to cut her off.

«Quiet.» he ordered, and Zoe fell silent. «Can you sense anything out of place?» he questioned her, once he had her full attention.

Zoe shook her head – did he think her so distracted?! «You mean except for Kaze?» she snarled, nodding towards an apparently regular tree.

**— _Poof!_**

With no more than a rustle, a ninja seemed to appear out of the very bark of the tree Zoe had pointed to. The pair of eyes that looked up at her managed to coax out her first genuine smile in the whole two days it had taken the Queen’s escort to travel between Shirasagi and Suzanoh.

«Brother. Zoe.»

While his twin embodied the shady nature of the ninjas, Kaze looked sweet and welcoming. Maybe it was his olive green hair, or maybe his soft, melancholic smile… Zoe had always found him soothing, and loved him dearly: Kaze was the one who had supported her when she was crumbling under the hardship of a Saizo’s training.

«Good, deshi.» was Saizo’s murmured praise, almost lost in the rustling of the forest, but Zoe heard it anyway and beamed: it wasn’t easy to meet the Master Ninja’s standards, and she kept a careful record of each and every compliment he had paid her throughout the years. «When did you sense him?» he pressed while Kaze made their way to them, quiet as a shadow.

«More or less fifteen minutes ago?» she answered, hardly doubting her senses and instinct – it would have been a disgrace beyond imagination for her not to feel the presence of someone she had known her whole life. «He waited for us at the crossroads and then followed me ahead.» she stated, turning towards her green-haired friend.

«Impressive.» Kaze smiled. Then he gestured at the road she had just trodden: «Now go back to Kagero, and tell her the way is safe.» he ordered, his commands always sounded like requests one simply couldn’t deny, persuading rather than intimidating – just the opposite of his twin’s ways. The Samurai turned around to head back, but stopped when Kaze’s voice reached her again: «Oh, and Zoe?»

She hesitated, feeling a worrying undercurrent in that voice she knew so well. Kaze was good at bottling up emotions, but she could see his heart on his sleeve this time: he was tense too, she realized. Just like her, Kaze had blamed himself for Ileana’s abduction, and that guilt had turned them both into who they were.

She didn’t need to turn. «What?»

«Be cautious.»

Zoe giggled, then hopped off the branch and landed right on her feet, like a cat. «I am _always_ cautious.» she retorted, perfectly aware that her arrogant reply would make Saizo hiss and Kaze snort.

_Liar, liar_ , chanted a voice in her mind – sounding quite a lot like Takumi’s, and the thought forced her to stifle her own laughter. She missed her fierce little brother, and she had been waiting to see him again since the day he had set out for his patrol.

Takumi was more or less her age – they were only a few months apart, and never stopped bickering over it. They had grown up together, and she was positive that the two of them were still one of Yukimura’s recurring nightmares, along with the small gang of kids that had gravitated around them. They had both grown up to head down the warrior’s path, along with their playmates – who had, in turn, grown into retainers: Subaki and Hana now served Sakura, Hinata had pledged himself to Takumi… only Zoe was still to swear herself to someone. She had hoped, years ago, to become Takumi’s retainer along with Hinata – but Saizo had spoken against that, and it was a blow she still had to come to terms with.

Zoe and Takumi had always been very close: they were both stubborn as mules, as Hinata often dubbed them, and couldn’t help but get into huge fights over the smallest things. And yet, they had always been there for one another, always ready to lend support and to watch each other’s back as they inevitably got into the next mess.

Indeed, she missed him. But she wouldn’t have to be patient for much longer: Kaze’s presence meant that their destination couldn’t be too far ahead.

She retraced the steps she had walked beside Saizo, stopping only when her eyes caught a waving cloth seemingly caught in the branches of a particularly wide tree.

«Ma?» she called, her left hand hovering over the grip of her sword, ready to unsheathe it should she need to react quickly. She was pretty sure that was Kagero’s signal, but _constant vigilance_ had been the first thing Saizo had barked at her as soon as he had begun training her.

Zoe caught wind of Kagero’s smell before sight of her form, as she appeared out of the shadows next to her with the ninjas’ signature stealth. There was always that light, flowery essence that followed in her other mother’s wake, and that reminded Zoe of the blankets from when she was little and of all the times the Master Ninja had let conceal herself in her long, dark hair while playing hide-and-seek with Orochi.

She smiled as she sensed Kagero brushing a strand of her blonde hair out of her eyes. «The way is safe.» she stated, catching the woman’s white ribbon with the corner of an eye as it disappeared in the undergrowth.

Kagero reappeared a few trees ahead, at ease and stunning as a predator in its natural habitat. Zoe had always thought that while Saizo was considered the most skilled of the Master Ninjas serving the royal family, Kagero was simply born to be one: she was strong, and gorgeous, with a body many women would kill for that belied a strength that even more than one man combined could not boast.

Oh, her mothers really were one more incredible than the other. Zoe was so proud to consider herself their daughter, and adored anything of hers that resembled them – she had managed to accept the generous curves of her own body only because her mothers, who shared a similar build, had shown her how to deal with it.

«Perfect.» Kagero smiled, and Zoe’s hand secured her sword to her side – it was dangerous to hop from tree to tree with a half-unsheathed sword, that much she had learned. «Reina is keeping an eye on us from above. I want you to head fifty yards south, and then come up the path you’ll find there, so you can clear that side too. You should meet Lord Ryoma on your way.»

Pretending the thought of meeting the High Prince didn’t lift her spirits, Zoe nodded. «Yes, ma’am!»

She turned her back to Kagero and headed in the direction her mother had pointed to her, hopping from tree to tree until the path she had mentioned was right below her. Her eyes immediately found that red glimmer she had been hoping to see: Ryoma was wearing his custom bulky red armor – which made him look more like a lobster than a dragon, at least according to Orochi – and was making his way through the woods much more noisily than the three ninjas.

Keeping still, Zoe allowed him to pass her so she could sneak up behind him. She picked a thick branch that hovered over the path, hooked her knees around it, and let herself dangle upside down a few inches away from Ryoma’s impressive mane of hair.

«Poof!» she chimed, and couldn’t help but grin when he jumped and then turned, one hand already gripping Raijinto – lucky for her, he realized who it was before striking, and the tension left his shoulders.

«You should never give yourself away like this.» Ryoma chided with a sigh.

Zoe ignored him, a hand reaching for the branch as her knees released the bark, and then she gracefully joined him on the ground.

But, oh, why was she always acting like an idiot whenever he was around?

«The way is safe.» she declared, straightening her hakama, carefully avoiding the Prince’s eyes. «Saizo met up with Kaze, and Kagero sent me to clear this area.» she reported simply, falling in step next to him without bothering with a bow – Saizo would have had her head for that slight, but Ryoma had always insisted that she treated him like family.

Most thought of Ryoma as a levelheaded, distant, even fear-inspiring individual: it was quite easy to be intimidated by his impressive size or by his demanding gaze. And yet, Zoe knew a different man: she knew the kind, brotherly, loving person she had grown up with that lingered just beneath the cold, royal mask. She knew that man so well, she had fallen for him.

She shook her head, hoping to shake off that very distracting – and therefore, very dangerous – thought. “ _Idiot!_ ” she hissed to herself. “ _You’re with the High Prince! You should be protecting him, not drooling all over him!_ ”

She forced herself to breathe in deeply, forcibly pushing down daydreams and butterflies and the like back into a dusty corner of her heart. She didn’t have the _time_ to deal with the remainder of her teenage crush. It was in the past, she reminded to herself, no matter how many times her lingering feelings would poke her. Besides, she wasn’t really up for the torturous, silly reveries that came with the feelings.

They walked the rest of the path side by side, not exchanging another word but enjoying the comfortable silence that enveloped them. Ryoma was the only person that Zoe could really feel at ease with, without needing to sully the air with pointless words. He was, and had always been, supportive, someone whose presence was more than enough for her to ground herself.

> _She never thought blood would be this sticky. It hinders the grip of her bare feet on the ground and it messes with the hold of her katana. She almost slips when she attempts to lunge, and her blade comes down in a less-than-perfect arc that makes her snarl._
> 
> _She shouldn’t be here. Her mothers must be worried sick: it’s past sundown, and she should have returned to her quarters at least an hour ago, but Zoe doesn’t care. She picks her katana up, ignoring the soreness in her tired muscles and scraped palms, and descends on the training dummy in a flurry of frenzied hits._
> 
> _“_ You should learn embroidery, Zoe. _”_
> 
> _She roars as she hears Subaki’s voice chanting in her head, repeating his words over and over again, and with every word she hates her blooming thirteen-year-old body a little more._
> 
> _“_ You’ll never make a good soldier with those curves. You should find a man willing to marry someone as crazy as you and start a family. _”_
> 
> _Strands of plain ash blonde hair that were once long lie on the ground, soaking up the blood. Some of it still clings to the blunt edge she used to cut them, and seeing it only fuels her rage._
> 
> _It isn’t hard for her to picture Subaki’s face on the dummy, and she hits it viciously, wildly, blindly, rejoicing with every_ thwack _that resonates every time the practice katana slams against the dummy._
> 
> _Saizo isn’t there, and that’s good. If he were to see her her like that, he’d be disgusted. But she’s all alone: everybody has already headed for the kitchens, to rest and recover from the long day of training._
> 
> _«Zoe.»_
> 
> _Or not._
> 
> _She chews on her lip, but ignores the voice that called out to her: she knows whom it belongs to, whose concern it is, but she chooses to focus on the strength her arms don’t have anymore as she attacks with the only thing she has left: stubbornness._
> 
> _«Zoe. Won’t you tell me what you’re doing?»_
> 
> _Her ears are flattened against her skull, but she still hears his steps as he comes closer. She grimaces: Ryoma is the last person she wants to see right now._
> 
> _The High Prince of Hoshido is perfect – more so than that stupid redhead of a peacock could ever hope to become, more so than anyone in the world, at least according to Zoe. He’s already a fearsome Swordmaster, a talented warrior, and a source of inspiration for so many people._
> 
> _«Training.» she chokes out, refusing to stop or turn towards him._
> 
> _She hears him snort. «It looks like you’re just trying to hurt yourself from here.»_
> 
> _Maybe. Maybe that’s what she deserves. Maybe that’s what should have befallen her so long ago._
> 
> _«Training so hard you won’t be able to fight is kind of useless, don’t you think?»_
> 
> _Those words seem to breach the haze of ire and shame that is clouding her mind. To Zoe, nothing matters more than being a good warrior – though she’s not good enough yet, and Saizo always tells her that training is never enough, and she trusts her mentor._
> 
> _«I’ll fight anyway. I’ll manage. I can take this.»_
> 
> _She will keep training – screw exhaustion, screw her failing legs, screw her bloody hands._
> 
> _«I’ll show them.»_
> 
> _She will force Subaki to take back every word, every joke, every insult._
> 
> _«I’ll show them all.»_
> 
> _Saizo will be proud of her and will finally allow her to take the title of Samurai – she’s not even a recruit yet, not officially, because she isn’t good enough, quick enough, strong enough._
> 
> _She pauses, just to catch her breath, the tip of her sword resting against the ground – just a second, though. Her eyes dart over her shoulder to look at the boy – no, not a boy: Ryoma has already become a man, while she’s still just a useless little girl._
> 
> _«Please, leave. I’d like to train alone.» she snaps, but there is despair in her voice, and she hates herself for letting it leak through. She glues her eyes to the ground, ashamed for being seen like that, by him of all people, and she prays that he’ll leave quickly._
> 
> _«May I stay?»_
> 
> _Oh, come on._
> 
> _Zoe curses him under her breath and, for a moment, she hates him too – because he’s so good, at anything and everything he does, because he has a family and she doesn’t have one anymore, because he has a purpose in life and a bright, golden future laid down for him._
> 
> _«I’ll keep quiet. I don’t wish to bother you.»_
> 
> _A snort and a shrug are his only answers._
> 
> _Ryoma nods and steps away to go sit at the edge of the training grounds. He crosses his legs and arms, watching her in stillness as she bleeds out all her frustration, either ignoring or unaware of the clumps of blood and hair and sweat dotting the ground, of the light fading from the skies._
> 
> _Zoe has lost track of time. Her worlds begins and ends in the movements and positions that Saizo has taught her, that she has tried again and again and again with Hana and Hinata, in the blind rage that blurs her sight a bit more with every hit._
> 
> _She’s going to become good._
> 
> _She will find her way, her pride,_ something _to quench the burning hatred she’s feeling for herself. Or maybe not. Because that’s what she is: hateful._
> 
> _She’s an orphan, she has no future, and she’s already failed the person she loved the most._
> 
> _Subaki’s right. She should just give up. She’ll never be enough… she’s never been – if she were, she wouldn’t have let Ileana be kidnapped._
> 
> _Failing seems to be the only thing she’s good at._
> 
> _Tears have made her blind, and the katana is suddenly way too heavy: it slips out of her hands and falls to the ground, the metal screeching loudly. Zoe slips and falls down on the sand as well, the guilt on her shoulders ripping the very breath out of her._
> 
> _She’s kneeling now, trembling. The dummy looms above her, mocking her, mocking the blood that stains her clothes, mocking her short hair cut abruptly now curling around her ears. She wants to shout, to scream all her pain to the winds, but her voice seems stuck in her throat and a sob is all she can choke out._
> 
> _She feels her head about to explode and covers her throbbing temples with her hands, curling on herself, laying in her own blood. The dust and the sand scratch her throat and nose as she desperately tries to breathe._
> 
> _«It’s my fault… it’s all my fault…»_
> 
> _It doesn’t matter what she’ll do with her life, how hard she’ll train, how much blood she’ll spill. She will always,_ always _be the one who should have been taken in the Princess’ stead, and no one will ever forget that. She will never forget that._
> 
> _She doesn’t realize there’s a warm hand on her shoulder until Ryoma’s voice tickles her ear. «Hey.»_
> 
> _She hugs herself tighter, drowning in those poisonous thoughts that drag her lower and lower, with every passing day and every passing year._
> 
> _«It should have been me… you should have made him take me…»_
> 
> _If only she had died, she wouldn’t have to suffer through this. She wouldn’t have to take the insults, the cruelty, she wouldn’t have to defend herself and take up a sword just to keep herself safe… she would never have to live with a guilt that threatened to rip her to pieces every time one of those brats calls her_ scum _._
> 
> _«Zoe—»_
> 
> _She cuts him off by raising her head, hating the soft way he says her name, her teeth gritted so tightly they might just splinter in her own mouth._
> 
> _Ryoma doesn’t know what she’s going through – no one knows what she’s going through, not even her mothers, or Saizo, or Kaze. She’s been good, she’s kept those accidents that have branded her even from the ninjas, she’s never uttered any of the scathing words thrown at her – Subaki is the lesser of them all, he’s never actually mean, but his remarks have been the last straw._
> 
> _«Why?! Why didn’t you make him take me? Did no one think of telling him I was the Princess? He could have just killed me and spared the King, and everything would have been fine, everything would have bee—»_
> 
> _«Enough.»_
> 
> _His voice subdues her hysteric cries like it’s nothing, keeping at bay the guilt and panic that were about to eat her alive. Ryoma’s fingers are curled around her shoulders and they help her up, easing her body from the tight ball it has curled into. He tips her chin up so she’s looking at him when he speaks._
> 
> _«Don’t you ever entertain that thought again. Promise me.»_
> 
> _«But—»_
> 
> _«Promise me.»_
> 
> _She’s never noticed the silver shards in Ryoma’s fern green eyes before. It’s such a small thing, but it suddenly seems like his eyes are the only thing that matters. They ground her, help her focus on his words, on the unwavering strength in his voice, on the warmth of his hands._
> 
> _«You are family. I wouldn’t want a world in which you aren’t at my side, and I know that all those that love you would agree with me. So, please, don’t ever think that someone would rather have you dead. Promise me.»_
> 
> _And that’s when Zoe breaks._
> 
> _Part of her doesn’t want to believe him, but she does – Gods, she does – and she can’t ignore it, can’t keep torturing herself with her own dark thoughts. She thinks of Sakura, of Hana, of Takumi, of her mothers, of Reina, of Hinoka, and she feels her heart splinter when she realizes how it would hurt them to see her like that._
> 
> _She doesn’t want them to hurt. She doesn’t want Ryoma to hurt._
> 
> _And yet, she wishes she could do something, turn back time and make everything alright – return the smile and the daughter to her Queen, the sister to those siblings she was never going to have but that she desperately wanted to call_ family _._
> 
> _But they’re not. She loves them as if they were and they love her back, but they’re not her family. She’s a nobody, and she feels like a monster for longing for something that should have been another’s, hadn’t she been taken from her loved ones so abruptly. And the aristocrats think that she’s trying to weasel her way into the royal family, taking advantage of their kindness to achieve the Gods-know-what._
> 
> _It’s too much. It’s really too much._
> 
> _She breaks, and cries, cries like the child she still is. She buries her face in her hands and trembles, shaken by her sobs and by worries too big for someone her age, and she really wishes Ryoma would leave because she hates him for being there to see her like that. She believes him, so she know how much it must hurt him to see her so miserable, and hurting him is the last thing she wants._
> 
> _But Ryoma doesn’t leave._
> 
> _He loops one of his big, strong arms around her shoulders and hugs her tight, tighter still when Zoe presses herself against him, fingers crumpling his yukata as they hold onto him as if his embrace is her only safe haven in the whole wide world. He pats her hair, keeps her close, and Zoe feels a little less filthy in his arms: Ryoma is the kindest person she knows, and if he thinks so highly of her, well, maybe she could hate herself a little less._
> 
> _Zoe smothers her sobs in his chest, and a part of her notices the blood – her blood – staining the snow white folds of his yukata. Ryoma isn’t bothered by it; he just holds her, until her tears don’t stop and she crumbles with exhaustion in his arms. So he picks her up, letting her hold onto him as he stands and heads for Orochi’s quarters, mumbling sweet nothings in her ears that lull her into a light sleep._
> 
> _«By the Seven, Zoe!»_
> 
> _Her mother’s terrified voice is just a distant echo, and Zoe barely stirs: it feels so good there. It’s peaceful, and there’s the sound of Ryoma’s steady, soothing heartbeat, the smell of soap and steel clinging to his skin…_
> 
> _«She’s fine. She just needs to rest.»_
> 
> _Zoe isn’t listening anymore. Tomorrow Orochi will scold her for what she’s done to herself, but right now she doesn’t want tot think about it. She just wants to revel a little longer in Ryoma’s hug._
> 
> _The High Prince walks on, and Zoe can smell her own room, can feel the softness of her own futon beneath her as sets her down, the brush of her sheets as he tucks her in. She doesn’t stir, doesn’t move, not until she hears an empty silence and understands that he’s leaving._
> 
> _«Ryoma…» she calls, half asleep, her fingers twitching as they try to reach him._
> 
> _She feels him at her side again, the mattress caving in under his weight, feels his hand on her head._
> 
> _«Get some rest.» he coos softly, so softly Zoe can’t even consider denying him._
> 
> _«I’ll try…» she squeaks, fighting to crack an eye open._
> 
> _And she sees him smile, and she can see that smile so clearly in spite of the blur in her eyes. Ryoma runs his fingers through that mess of hair she’s sure she has_ _one last time, making sure she’s well, and then stands to blow out the candle lighting her room._
> 
> _«Thank you.»_

That was how it had begun, probably.

Ever since that night, which Zoe still remembered with both shame and fondness, she had caught her thoughts drift a little too often towards the High Prince of Hoshido, had felt her ears burn when she looked in his eyes, had paid more attention to whatever Ryoma did or said and to so many little things that had made him even dearer to her. It had been a remark from the killjoy himself, Subaki, that had made her realize her admiration probably had something to do with her fancying him.

That was the only time his intrusiveness had been remotely helpful: after realizing her feelings, Zoe had done her best to let that teenage crush run its course without causing any drama, and she thought she had done a good job at it.

Still, many years had passed, and while her feelings had cooled to the point they didn’t interfere with her duties, she had never managed to find someone who could make her feel comforted the way his mere existence did: Ryoma had been one of those people who had given her a reason to stand up tall and proud. His support had pushed to strive, to improve herself daily.

Zoe could sense Ryoma’s worry as they walked, had caught the many looks he had shot her – to keep so silent for so long was very uncharacteristic of her.

«I can almost feel you fidget, Zoe.»

And there they were. His words were enough to bring her back to the present, and forced her to face the fear she had been pushing out of her mind since the day of their departure.

Suzanoh’s walls were upon them.

«I can’t help it…» she pouted, her fingers tracing the tsukamaki of her katana.

There were hundreds – no, thousands – of thoughts racing through her mind, but she kept them for herself. She had never been one for talking her heart out, and that one time when Ryoma had seen her being emotional still made her cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

«I had almost lost all hope.» she said simply, her eyes roaming the trees in search for one suitable to climb.

She spotted one with solid bark and low branches and turned to approach it, but a warm hand on her shoulder kept her from her jump. She turned, and could once again notice the silver shards in his fern green eyes. She wished her own eyes could be that beautiful – she had never liked her blood red irises: they made her feel like a demon was going to burst from her skin every time she spotted her reflection in a mirror.

«Your resolve has rewarded you, in the end.» Ryoma encouraged her with a smile, and Zoe felt like she should thank him – Ryoma was always so serious that a genuine smile from him was as rare as snow on Shirasagi. «It is going to be much easier than you think.» he said as he squeezed her shoulder before releasing it, his fingers pushing his own long, dark hair back.

Zoe shrugged, not completely reassured, and jumped up the tree without another word.

Ryoma watched her disappear among the leaves, and shook his head. He was worried about her.

He knew that Zoe had never really stopped hoping for Ileana’s return, and most of all he knew how her abduction had weighed on her life. He knew it even better than she did – because he remembered Cheve, remembered the horrible decisions he couldn’t argue with, because he had been just a child, and that had changed Zoe’s life forever.

He, along with Mikoto, had been both waiting for and dreading that very moment for fourteen long years: he had often wondered if they shouldn’t have told Zoe the truth since the beginning. But Mikoto had always waited, hoping that Ileana would be returned home one day. Ryoma hadn’t understood at first and they had argued, because he wanted to keep as close as possible the child that had clung to him since Cheve, and that he had grown fonder that he had anticipated. However, in the end, he had understood Mikoto’s pain, the despair that had gripped her when she had lost husband and daughter on the same night.

But he still thought they had it all wrong, that everything would be a lot easier now if they hadn’t lied for years.

Zoe resembled him. She had always been stubborn, especially in her tendency of taking the guilt of others upon herself as she fought for this or that ‘noble cause’. She could and would never rest until she knew that those she loved were safe and sound, no matter the price – which was, more often than not, her own wellbeing.

However, he wasn’t sure that knowing the truth would have made much of a difference: caring for others was a physical need for Zoe, and it wasn’t something that would change, ever.

It was going to be much harder than he thought.

Dread gripped him as he made his way towards the Great Wall, feeling Zoe’s vigilant and attentive gaze from above. His mother had been waiting for so long to have Ileana back in her arms, to finally reveal what had really happened that terrible night in Cheve. Ryoma could understand it, but he wasn’t sure that Zoe was going to take it well – actually, he was sure there was a fair chance she was going to hate them all. And she would have kept it all bottled up inside, turning her uncomplaining silence against those she had loved, and who had betrayed her.

In that, too, Zoe resembled him: she was driven by the same restlessness that drove him, had a dangerous temper, and let her emotions take the better of her more often than not. He had learned to manage those sides of himself long ago, with Kagero’s patient guidance… but it didn’t look like those same lessons had reaped a similar result from the young Samurai.

He sighed again, and felt surprisingly very grateful when Saizo and Kaze appeared with two identical _poofs_ right in the middle of his path.

There would be no turning back now.

«Zoe.» he called, and she appeared silently by his side, almost as stealthily as the two Master Ninjas.

He was finally close enough to make out three figures standing in front of the outpost made in the midst of the woods, right before the Wall: he immediately recognized Takumi’s pale, long hair. He was flanked by his retainers, Hinata and Oboro, and all of them were quiet and sullen in a way he hadn’t seen often.

He turned to Zoe, who hadn’t moved, not even to greet her friends. Her hands were fisted, her jaw set, her ears upright and sticking out of her hair in a way that would have made him crack a smile, had the situation allowed it.

«You don’t have to.» he clarified under his breath, barely loud enough for her to hear him.

Zoe just shook her head, the knot in her throat too tight to let her speak. She wasn’t going to turn back.

Ryoma understood that and said no more. They waited, side by side, for Takumi to join them. Kaze had drifted to Zoe’s side, hoping to comfort her with his presence, while Saizo had taken his place behind Ryoma.

It took only a minute for Takumi to reach them, but to Zoe it felt like an eternity. Ryoma stepped ahead to greet his younger brother, and whispered something in his ear that made him groan.

Takumi turned to her, and Zoe caught a touch of concern in his bronze eyes. «Come on.» he beckoned her, the gentleness in his voice clashing with the angry wave of his and. «I’ll take you to see the scum.»


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Feeling conflicted -- Fighting with royalty -- Breaking the ice -- A friend's comfort.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS:  
> • Graphic language (Ileana grew up with Niles and it shows)  
> • Mentions of torture (mild)  
> • Mentions of suicidal thoughts (mild)
> 
> Takumi acts the way he acts for a reason, and it isn't entirely his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Malay)_   
>  _An urge you struggle to suppress =_

**❝Geram❞**

* * *

 

Even the side-entrance hidden in the woods that surrounded Suzanoh partook in the grandeur of the Great Wall.

It was made of the same yellowish stone the Wall was made of. Tapestries had been hung to try and make the inner corridors of the residential wing a little more welcoming, but they couldn’t quite tone down the martial atmosphere of the place.

Takumi had always felt so small there, from the very first time Ryoma and Hinoka brought him to the garrison to show him Shirasagi’s last line of defense. He realized it was probably the intention of its architects: no enemy could stand proud and arrogant in front of Suzanoh. Shirasagi’s inhabitants definitely slept better at night, knowing that the Great Wall guarded their borders, as unshakable as ever.

Zoe walked next to him, looking terribly insignificant beneath the walls that gave off overpowering might. Ryoma and Kaze were only a few steps behind them, discussing something in low, hushed words that Takumi couldn’t understand. He glanced over his shoulders, trying to guess what they were talking about; he was surprised to see that even his brother’s imposing figure seemed somewhat humbled by the sheer might of the tall, thick structure that towered over him.

_Try to hold back._

Those were the words his brother had whispered in his ear. Those words now throbbed in his mind, weighed on his heart as if the Great Wall itself had come tumbling down to bury it. Takumi wished he could just ignore them, wished they didn’t bother him as they did… but they did, and he couldn’t ignore them, because they tickled the twinge of guilt inside of his chest.

He had already failed his brother. He hadn’t been holding back. At all.

He hadn’t held back when she had given them her name, when everything had come undone right there and then, already too far from the gorge of the Bottomless Canyon to throw her in when, with just one word, she had torn his world to shreds.

> _«I am Ileana, fourth Princess of Nohr in line to the Throne of Thorns, daughter of the Obsidian King.»_
> 
> Ileana.
> 
> _No, Takumi thinks, his whole body freezing solid while that name seems to explode around him, echo on every jagged rock of the border._
> 
> _He doesn’t believe her. Ileana is dead, and he knows it. Murdered, shortly after being taken away from his father’s cooling corpse. That’s why they never managed to find her, no matter how many resources they depleted trying to gather information about her. She’s dead, feet deep under the dirt of Nohr, and the only reason why her mangled body hasn’t been returned to them is so that they would torment themselves for the years to come._
> 
> _He can’t believe her. There is no way that… that_ thing _is his long-lost little sister. She’s Nohrian, through and through – she’s scum. She’s a heartless, soulless monster that ordered an attack on his troops with absolutely no regard for their border treaty. She even dared to appeal to his honor and beg for mercy instead of accepting to pay the price of her sins when the tables turned against her – the Nohrians didn’t show any mercy to his father: they killed him in cold blood, in front of the eyes of a helpless child. So why should he show any mercy to one of them?_
> 
> _He doesn’t believe her, can’t believe her –_ doesn’t want _to believe her._
> 
> _He should have killed her. He should have just killed her, he should have listened to that whispering little voice in his ear as it begged him to give into his yumi’s anger and let his divine arrow rip out whatever cold, rotten heart she had left._
> 
> _His hands tremble on the strips of the sword he’s taken from her, fingers still entangled in the knots he was fastening when her voice reached him, and he can feel his face pale as his eyes burn, pain and anger igniting in his chest with a fury and a bloodlust he’s never felt before._
> 
> _He should kill her now, this instant, and to the crows with politics and treaties and getting information. He should drag her across the bridge and slit her throat in front of her guard dogs, yelling at them that this is what happens when Nohr tries to sneak an impostor among their ranks with such a cowardly trick._
> 
> _Because that’s it, isn’t it? Ileana is dead, and this Dark Mage is just a decoy to infiltrate his army, his family, using their pain to her advantage to bury a dagger in their backs at first chance._
> 
> _He won’t let it happen._
> 
> _«That’s not possible.» he grunts as he steps in front of her and his hand shoots up to fist in her short hair. She can’t help but grimace as he tugs hard to pull her closer, forcing her neck to twist painfully to banish that smug look in her eyes as he makes her face him. «You’re lying.»_
> 
> _He grips harder when she squirms – ever defiant, ever rebellious, and he finds himself liking the little whimper that slips from her when all she manages to do is hurt herself. «Why would I?»_
> 
> _She snarls at him like the rabid dog she is. Her words are laced with poison, and he knows it – a Nohrian mage can’t ever, ever be trusted. He knows what they can do to minds. He’s not going to allow her to charm him into letting her off the hook._
> 
> _He unsheathes the sword he’s taken from her and presses it to her throat. «Don’t make me ask again, scum. Your name. Now.»_
> 
> _He only meant to intimidate her with it, but then the dark metal seems to glow red, and something vicious and angry howls inside of him. She shudders and pales and stills in his hand and under his blade, and he finds that he enjoys it – because she deserves it._
> 
> _She spits venom again, but this time there’s an edge in her words that sounds very much like fear. «I gave you my name! You can hurt me as much as you want, I told the truth!»_
> 
> _«Your kind never tells the truth this easily.» he snorts at the blatant lie she’s just shrieked at him._
> 
> _Her bravado slips at the brush of cold sharpness against her throat and she writhes, but she can’t run from him. He catches her eyes close before they can show him the telltale shimmer of tears. He relishes in the sight, in the cracks in her façade: he’ll have his answers, and even sooner than he expected._
> 
> _He pushes the blade against her throat more firmly, threateningly. «But I’m willing to go as far as it takes to ring it from you, scum. You’ll break soon enough, mark my words.»_
> 
> _And then a bead of blood coats the edge where it cut through her skin – it’s much, much sharper than he anticipated – and the sword hums like it’s alive and with a mind of its own. It longs for more, he understands, and for an endless, insane second he longs for it as well._
> 
> _For an endless, insane second, he discards every strategy, every plan: all he sees is blood, all he wants is blood._
> 
> _Her blood._
> 
> _«Lord Takumi!»_

With hindsight, it was probably a good thing that Kaze had been there to stop him from doing something he would have definitely regretted – to push away the sword before he could slice the Nohrian’s throat right open.

Takumi was still trying to work up the courage to face the Master Ninja and apologize to him, for his outburst there at the Bottomless Canyon and for the way he had treated him throughout their march back to Suzanoh – for all those threats he had thrown at him. But Kaze had been so ready and willing to defend and protect that monster, Takumi hadn’t been able to help it. He could only hope that he wouldn’t tell Ryoma about—

«Hey…»

Zoe’s whisper was soft, so unlike the shrill, loud voice he’d known ever since he was a child, and it pulled him from those furious, frustrated thoughts. He turned to her, forcing himself to face the uncertainties etched in the girl’s sharp features.

Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe that the woman Zoe had become used to be the girl he knew as his childhood friend.

Ever since Saizo had allowed her to officially train as a Samurai, it had been hard for Takumi to come to terms with the fact that the chaotic, restless little girl he had grown up with was changing – that her body as well was changing: it hadn’t been easy to get used to the soft curves and muscular limbs that had replaced long, lithe build he used to know. Things had been awkward for a while, and the revealing clothes the Samurais wore as armor hadn’t made things any easier – though Zoe’s were considerably less revealing than they could have been, and he could only imagine her arguments with Orochi because of that.

Occasionally, the Onmyoji still tried to convince her adoptive daughter to wear something more appropriate for a girl her age, and yet Zoe went on choosing gear much more like Hinata’s: she preferred the comfort of the hakama and the red obi wrapped around her hips to the tight-fitting kind of garb that Orochi kept stuffing into her wardrobe, even though it went untouched.

Takumi had always thought that Zoe took a lot more after Kagero – she too had stealth in her step, litheness in her movements, a home in the shadows.

«Hey.» he whispered back, forcing his thoughts away from his darkness and a smile on his lips, though he knew how little comfort that would have been: Zoe knew him way too well, and he was positive she would understand perfectly just how unhappy he was with that whole ordeal.

Oh, he really, really didn’t want to take Zoe to see that dog, he didn’t want for them to meet and talk – he didn’t want that Dark Mage to poison his friend’s mind, to give her the chance to take her away from him.

«You’re very quiet.»

Takumi huffed, shooting her a half-annoyed, half-mischievous glance. «So are you, which is a miracle in and of itself.» he joked.

She stuck her tongue out at him while she delivered a sudden jab on his ribs. «You’re always such a jerk!»

Takumi simply grinned back at her. Had Ryoma or Hinoka uttered those same words, the pain they’d have caused him would have been almost unbearable… but this was Zoe: she spent half her time telling him how insufferable he could be, and yet she was always at his side, no matter what.

This time his smile was much more honest; in that remark he had heard a bit of the sass he was so used to and loved so much: there she was, his Zoe, the one who never forgot to remind him that she was older than him – that it was only by a handful of months it mattered little – and that probably knew him much, much better than his own sisters.

«It’s part of my charm!» he quipped, this time dodging the predictable punch she tried to land on his shoulder.

«You don’t have any charm.» Zoe teased, but then sank again in that uncharacteristic silence that Takumi found incredibly unsettling.

He could only hold himself back for a handful of seconds before he sighed and spun around, stopping with no warning right after a turn and seizing her wrist, forcing her to shift all of her attention on him – and he noticed also the enquiring gaze that Ryoma paid him, clearly surprised by that gesture. He ignored him: his brother’s focus seemed to be solely on Kaze, and that granted him a few private moments to speak with his friend.

«Look, you really don’t have to do this. To meet her.» he mumbled, a frustrated growl in his words, feeling extremely uncomfortable: he had never been good with sentimentalities, and he hoped that Zoe, knowing him as she did, could forgive his clumsiness. «She’s not a good person.»

Zoe sighed. «Takumi, I have to, and you know it. Even if it’s just to put it to rest, for good.»

Takumi gritted his teeth at that. Zoe’s right hand was wrapped around the tsuka of her katana, while the other was hidden somewhere in the folds of her gray hakama, surely clenched into a fist so tight, her nails were leaving marks in her palm. Her ruby eyes were unfocused, void and tormented as he didn’t know they could be, her lips pale and her ears flattened against her skull.

He wasn’t used to a Zoe so quiet, with shoulders so tense and an expression so blank. The Zoe he knew was roaring fire, with a sharp retort at the ready on the tip of her tongue and an indomitable spark in her scorching irises. The Samurai at his side was someone he didn’t know, a pale and nervous shadow of the young woman he had grown to love as a sister.

Zoe didn’t deserve this.

Zoe was one of the people he thought the highest of – she was a friend, she was _family_. He couldn’t tolerate that that wicked monster hadn’t even met her and was already dragging her back into that storm of pain she had fought so hard to leave behind – her and his mother alike, that wonderful woman who had spent too many nights crying in the room her daughters had once shared, after the tragedy in Cheve.

That… that _dog_ couldn’t be her lost child, his little sister, Zoe’s childhood friend. He was sure of that.

And yet…

His thoughts grew dark again, choking him with coils of shame and frustration – how was he supposed to keep his head, to think clearly, when with every breath he could hear the distorted, senseless, incomprehensible buzz the scum had managed to taint his mind with?

He could understand Zoe’s wish for peace, he really could – he wished for it too, he wished to believe that he had been the honorable, just, fair man Ryoma would have wanted him to be.

And yet, he had disappointed him – again.

He hadn’t been the honorable, just, fair man Ryoma would have wanted him to be. He hadn’t been holding back when he ordered for the Dark Mage to be starved.

They hadn’t had any drugs with them to suppress her magic – his ninjas had only brought poisons along, and as much as he would have liked to put an end to that waste of a life, it simply wouldn’t do: Reina had already left with his message for his mother. He couldn’t kill her after that, couldn’t do her any harm that would leave marks – not until she was recognized for the impostor she was, and disposed of accordingly.

But he had had the chance to make her as weak and harmless as possible. And he had taken it. And he had taken advantage of it.

> _The fire in the middle of the camp they’ve set up is burning bright, and it chases away the cold that comes with the Frost Moon. His men form some sort of ring around it as they eat and rest, laughing: they’ve passed the mountains, they’re once again walking on Hoshidan soil. They’re back. They’re safe._
> 
> _Takumi smiles, his heart lighter, basking in their mirth, enjoying the wind that smells like home again._
> 
> _But he can’t share in their relief – not yet. Not as long as that scum draws breath._
> 
> _He looks at her over his shoulder, and notices Kaze doing the same, somehow appearing both calm and threatening. He is behaving, not stepping anywhere near their captive like his Prince ordered him and not interfering with how she’s being treated, but he’s never far, never lets her out of his sight. He’s watching over her, and his mere presence is enough to protect her: the soldiers have been leaving her alone, even stopped taunting her – Oboro is the only exception._
> 
> _The Nohrian dog is crouched on the ground, her back resting against the stake they’ve secured her to – far enough from them that the fire can’t warm her, though not enough to leave her in the shadows, hidden from the sight of her captors. Her arms are still bound behind her back – they’ve been since that day at the Bottomless Canyon. Her legs are tucked underneath her: she’s tried to curl up in an attempt to keep whatever warmth she has left in her body, and that can’t be easy considering how light and torn her clothes are – her cape only covers her shoulders, tattered as it is._
> 
> _She is clearly cold, and stiff, and tired. She was barely able to stand in the morning, as if the restrictions on food and water have already taken their toll on her. She wasn’t even able to march, and Hinata had to carry her on his back – why he refused to just drag her is a mystery, but Takumi knows that Hinata always acts like a fool when it comes to women._
> 
> _Oh, she looks weak and harmless alright… but Takumi knows it’s all an act to make them pity her, lower their guard. First of all, she can’t possibly be already starved and dehydrated, it hasn’t been that long – even someone as frail as she should, as a soldier, have better endurance. And second of all, even now he can feel that pressure in his head, the hum in his mind – it’s like someone is whispering words in his ears, only he can’t understand any of them._
> 
> _He’s sure it’s her, trying to put a spell on him, to charm him, to mess with his thoughts. And if she can pull off such magic without being near a tome, then she’s definitely doing a lot better than she looks, and she’s much stronger that he gave her credit for._
> 
> _And yet, she doesn’t seem to sense him as he edges closer, carefully, quietly. He chews on his the inside of his cheek, confused. He reasons that though he can still hear it, the buzzing in his head has been growing quieter as they moved farther and farther from the border. So… maybe she isn’t faking it that much, he thinks, taking in the shivers rippling on her skin. Maybe his first impression was right and she really is crumbling already._
> 
> _Only one way to find out._
> 
> _The corner of his lips twitch into a little smirk as he goes back to grab a plate with a few of the fish balls they’ve cooked over the fire before going back to her. As he settles down in front of her, he can hear her breath coming in short, shallow gasps, see the dark circles under her eyes and the whiteness of her skin._
> 
> _For a moment, he gets a glimpse of the scared, fragile, defenseless girl he saw at the Canyon the first time he trained his Fujin on her, and his hatred wavers. Then the plate clatters as he sets it down, she stirs, opens her eyes. The innocent expression she was wearing vanishes in an instant, morphing into something arrogant and spiteful._
> 
> _Gods, he’s almost fallen for it. How could he? He knows better – he knows that she’s scum, a deceiver, a vile abortion ready to bend the world itself to her evil, selfish ends, eager to take innocent lives on innocent lives to sate an insatiable lust for blood. He can never forget that._
> 
> _So he looks down on her, and there’s cruelty in his sneer. «Haven’t you slept enough on my retainer’s back?»_
> 
> _An angry glower in her eyes is his only answer – whether it’s because she refuses to talk to him or because her throat is much too dry to let her, he doesn’t care. He considers keeping the food out of her reach until she is forced to beg for it… but there are things he wants to know, and so he presses on._
> 
> _«Stop glaring already, I brought you dinner.» he offers, nodding towards the plate on the ground, next to her. «They’re not even left-overs this time. That’s very nice of me, don’t you think?»_
> 
> _She cocks an eyebrow. «Are you going to take off the ropes to let me eat?» she asks, and her voice is low and hoarse but she still manages to sound contemptuous._
> 
> _He sets his jaw. «No.»_
> 
> _Her grimace says it all. «Keep your food then. I won’t eat like a dog.»_
> 
> _He has to bite his tongue to hold his comeback. To be honest, humiliating her by forcing her to eat from a plate on the ground isn’t something he planned – nor reveled in, unlike Oboro seems to do – and a part of him realizes that it really is too much. However, she’ll have to be long dead and buried before he can even consider taking the ropes off her arms._
> 
> _«Well it’s your lucky day, because I’m feeling helpful.» he tells her instead, though he can’t keep the mockery out of his voice. Her lips curl sarcastically as she slumps back against her stake, but she doesn’t retort. He picks one of the fish balls and holds it right in front of her face. «I’m willing to feed you these myself, but you’ll have to earn it. You get one for each of my questions you answer. Deal?»_
> 
> _She snorts._
> 
> _He asks, and asks, and asks. He asks about Nohr, about the army, about King Garon. She never answers, even though he can see it costs her: when he gets tired of waiting for her reply he eats the fish ball himself, and he can see her eyes on him, almost feel her hunger. Yet she keeps silent._
> 
> _And when the last morsel of food disappears behind his lips and down his throat, there’s a suicidal smile on her face. «I told you. I will give you nothing.»_
> 
> _His anger flares as the hum in his head grows suddenly louder, and there’s a red shimmer in the corner of his eye. His hand motions for her chin, but this time, she’s faster – whether it is because she’s really not as miserable as she looks or just because she saw it coming, he doesn’t know._
> 
> _Before his fingers can even brush her face, her teeth are sinking in his flesh. She bites him, incredibly hard, vicious and desperate. He’s shocked into stillness, until her fangs sink in deeper, and he feels blood trickling down his palm._
> 
> _His other hand seizes her hair to pull her back violently, and he winces as her canines graze more of his skin as she’s forced to let go of him._
> 
> _It hurts._
> 
> _«You’ll pay for this, you dog!» he growls at her, but she just spits his own blood back at him._
> 
> _His fist holding her firmly against the stake, his injured hand reels back, heeding the call of the darkened, faintly glowing metal that throbs in the scabbard at his side… but unyielding fingers catch his wrist before he can grip the sword’s hilt._
> 
> _«Reina was adamant, milord: she’s not to be harmed.» Kaze reminds him sternly._
> 
> _Takumi grimaces as he tries to pry his arm from the man’s grasp. Of course the ninja wouldn’t allow his protégée to be disfigured. He stands up and finally wrenches his wrist away, then glowers at the scum still forced on her knees before him – and he almost wants to try and slash at her devious pretty face again when he realizes she hasn’t closed her eyes, not even as he reached for his blade._
> 
> _«Very well.» he spits, a fraction of his brain worrying if he’ll be needing any antidote for that bite. «That was all the food you were going to get tonight. But don’t think I’ll let you starve yourself before I’m done with the likes of you.»_
> 
> _Something in her expression breaks a little when he says that. He sees those cracks again, and it hits him: she isn’t just being difficult, she’s trying to die before he can set up an interrogation._
> 
> _And Suzanoh is still three days away._

It had been Hinata who had held him back from shoving food and water down her throat by force, once he realized what she was trying to do. With the help of his trusted retainer and childhood friend, he had managed to take a step back – even though he still resented him for the way he had insisted for Kaze to be the one to assist him with handling the scum.

In the end, he had allowed himself to be talked into sending her ahead with the Master Ninja and his retainers while he led the soldiers through the woods. Kaze seemed to be the only one who could get any semblance of cooperation out of her, and Hinata seemed willing to follow in his footsteps – and _that_ was something he could use when he would finally be free to question her properly. Oboro simply had had to go with them with them, to make sure those two soft-hearted fools wouldn’t let her get too comfortable.

But everything would be so much easier now if she had just died on the way to Suzanoh…

His fingers trailed over the hilt of the sword at his side, and once again he thought he felt that impatient shiver running up the blade and beneath his fingertips.

He should have killed her, he told himself for the hundredth time. He should have killed her, let her die… he should have found a way, and to the crows with his questioning: protecting his mother and Zoe should have been his top priority.

Slice her throat at the Canyon. Burn her to that stake he’d bound her to instead of being nice and volunteer to feed her dinner. Be firmer with Kaze and Hinata and humor her, quietly enjoy the show of her wasting away all on her own.

Of course, Zoe and his mother would have been distraught to find out that the mysterious Nohrian Princess who called herself Ileana hadn’t made it to Suzanoh… but it would have been for the best. At least they would have finally had their closure. They could have accepted that their Ileana was gone, forever, and they could have finally moved on, after fourteen years of agony and anguish. He would never have to see his mother hide her tears as she cradled a stuffed toy to her chest again. He could talk Zoe out of her ambition to become a daimyo, he could even convince her to give into the boy she had fancied for years – she could start a life without shadows, she could be happy…

Instead, he had done _nothing_ … and now that horrid monster was going to take advantage of the fourteen long years of sheer agony the loss of Ileana had caused to two of the people he loved most, and he had done _nothing_ to prevent it. That filthy dog was already worming her way in, infecting his world, his friends, his family. He didn’t want to think about what would happen when she would finally meet his mother.

He didn’t know how Mikoto would be able to tell if that Dark Mage really was Ileana or not, but a part of him – a very loud part of him – hoped fiercely that Kaze had made a mistake and that the spoiled brat they had dragged all the way from the Canyon was nothing but an impostor – and he would finally put an end to that insane charade, making that dog pay for every second of pain she had inflicted on his mother and on Zoe.

«You should have put this to rest long ago.» he groaned, dragging a foot against the shiny tiles of the floor, and grimaced a little when the dirt from the woods stained the tidiness of the hallway. «B-but it’s understandable.» he forced out when he noticed her face darkened, cursing himself – he had gone a bit too far: he knew that Zoe had really tried to leave it all behind her, and he had been happy for her, even though he would have liked a safer life for her than a soldier’s. «I just… I don’t think you should be this hopeful.» he told her, trying to explain his doubts to her in a way that would hurt her as little as possible – just another wrong word and Zoe would only grow more worried.

And he didn’t want to be the one to shatter the hope that both she and his mother had cradled for fourteen years.

Zoe looked away, teeth biting the inside of her cheek.

«You don’t think it’s her?» she asked him, and Takumi could see that she had already taken that possibility into account – and he could also see very, very clearly just how it ate at her.

That monster hadn’t even met her yet, and she was already causing her pain.

His face darkened, but he tried not to give in into his anger: that really wasn’t the time to lose his temper.

«Zoe, it _can’t_ be her. It just can’t. Trust me. She’s…» he stopped, desperately searching for a definition that wouldn’t sound too extreme – even though in his opinion, that scum could be described with nothing but the worst insults.

Wicked, rotten, depraved, revolting, poisonous.

And he had seen it all with his own eyes.

> _«Ready to give this another try, dog?»_
> 
> _Those are the first words he speaks to her when he steps in front of her cell, in the underground dungeons located below the Great Wall of Suzanoh._
> 
> _The prisons are carved in very stone of the mountain that borders the Northern side of Shirasagi’s last line of defense. They’re a series of small chambers with irregular rocky walls, no windows, and a door made of magically reinforced steel bars that all look out on the same narrow, winding corridor. It’s dark and humid down there, cold and uncomfortable. The only lighting is that of the candles lit out the prisoners’ cells, and the occasional gleam of the guards’ torches._
> 
> _Right now, there’s only the candle flickering out of the Dark Mage’s door and the sizzling torch in Takumi’s hand as sources of light._
> 
> _She doesn’t looked bothered by it – like any monster, she’s at ease in the darkness. Just another proof of her twisted nature. He thinks that in a few hours his mother and Zoe will arrive to see her, and his breath catches in his throat. He doesn’t want them anywhere near her._
> 
> _That’s why he’s there. This is his last chance to get her secrets out of her, before being forced to step back – at least until her charade isn’t recognized for the dirty trick it is, until he’ll finally be able to use all the means at his disposal to make her talk. But until then…_
> 
> _She steps into the light, and he realizes at once that sending her ahead to Suzanoh was a mistake. Not having to march allowed her to get some strength back, and while she still looks somewhat frail, there’s an insolent smirk on her lips that really, really doesn’t bode well._
> 
> _She’s watching him like she’s the huntress, and not the prey._
> 
> _«So Hoshido has a Prince who’s deaf, on top of being a stupid, honor-less bully.» she starts, mockery and disdain bleeding from her lips._
> 
> _The anger he hasn’t felt for the whole three days he’s spent away from her is back, and it’s all-encompassing. He tightens his grip on the hilt of the dark sword and wishes those bars weren’t there, so he could cut her down – because that’s what monsters like her deserve: to be slain, before they can destroy everything good and pure and beautiful._
> 
> _«It’s hard to believe how much filth can be contained in such a little beastie.» he quips back, his voice dripping just as much poison as her own._
> 
> _«Oh, you have no idea. You’re not going to like my words today, I assure you.» her fangs gleam in the torch’s light. He catches a flickering reflection on the shackles encasing her wrists, bound in front of her. She is standing against the door of her cell, spider-like fingers curled around its bars. «But come and see for yourself, Princeling. Ask away, if you dare.»_
> 
> _He fakes a deep sigh – fakes his regret. «There is no need for you to make things so hard on yourself. I only want a few questions answered truthfully. It doesn’t have to involve pain.»_
> 
> _«Doesn’t it?» there’s a flash of contempt in her green eyes – they seem to shine in the darkness, like those of an animal lurking, longing for blood, ready to pounce. «I don’t think you’d mind if it did, though. Haven’t you fantasized about it, Princeling?»_
> 
> _There’s a strange edge to her words, and he feels a shiver running down his spine. The way she’s speaking is different, her mouth articulating full, round sounds meant to seep into the mind. The buzzing in his head never really died out, not even while he was free from her presence._
> 
> _«Don’t lie, Princeling.» she whispers – and he’s this close to snap, because he’s the one who should be telling her not to lie, and she’s the one who should be feeling helpless and cornered. «I know you’d love to see me broken. I know you’d love to do your worst. But I also know that you won’t – not yet. You haven’t even brought the keys to open my cell with you…»_
> 
> _Of course she knows he can’t harm her – yet. She must have picked it up from Reina’s instructions, or from Kaze’s words when he interfered that night in the camp, or maybe she overheard Hinata and Oboro argue about it. It’s obvious now that she’s been faking every second of weakness._
> 
> _He feels like she’s circling him, figuring out when to strike, where to aim so that she’ll ruin him with just one bite – like she’s in control, in spite of being safely locked away behind steel bars. She’s oozing danger, and it sets his nerves on edge. He wonders if she can smell his dread, like any animal would._
> 
> _He should have never given her the chance to catch her breath._
> 
> _He steels himself. «I can do whatever I want, as long as I don’t leave obvious marks. It wouldn’t hurt to have you a little more… docile, you know.» he points out, stepping closer to the bars of the cell, faking a boldness he really isn’t feeling. He’s close enough to touch her, and the scabbing wound her fangs left on his skin itches. «And there are more than a few ways to tame you that won’t leave many of those.»_
> 
> _He thinks he sees a shadow cross her eyes as she considers his words carefully, but it’s gone in an instant. She doesn’t shy away from the cell door, not even when one of his hand wraps around one of the bars. She just smirks. «Is it rape you’re threatening, Princeling?»_
> 
> _Her voice is low and sarcastic. He sets his jaw, trying not to look as caught off guard as he is by her bluntness – she’s not intimidated, not one bit._
> 
> _«It doesn’t seem like your style. I think we’ve seen already that you’re not one to take without asking. But, since I won’t answer your questions, you might just decide to come up with another way to use my mouth…»_
> 
> _He grimaces at her words: clearly, she’s called his bluff, because she shouldn’t be mocking – she should be crawling back to the farthest wall from the door, shaking, begging him not to touch her—_
> 
> _«The question is, do you even know how to do it?» she hisses venomously, and he can feel her breath on his neck. «Please, tell me I won’t have to coach you through it as you force me on my knees between your legs and the wall, as you fist a hand through my hair to keep me still while you take your cock out, as you shove it down my throat and make me choke on it…»_
> 
> _He blushes, hot and hard, the redness going all the way down his neck and up his ears. He can’t help it – her words are way too lewd, and any decent person would feel uncomfortable with them being spat right to their face._
> 
> _What a filthy, revolting—_
> 
> _«Actually, let’s see if you even have enough to do any choking at all.»_
> 
> _He starts when he feels her fingers brush his leg after slipping through the bars, the chains of her shackles clinking against the enchanted steel of her cell door. He almost drops the torch he’s holding._
> 
> _Her lips twitch into a vile grin at his reaction. His vision tints red all of a sudden._
> 
> _There is no plan, no control when he fights fire with fire – he won’t let her humiliate him like that, his thoughts roar over the loud, throbbing hum in his head. He holds nothing back as he catches her face in his hand, his fingers digging harshly into her skin. Her bound hands fly to his wrists, transfigured into claws – and there it is, her nature showing, leaking through._
> 
> Monster _._
> 
> _«You will pay for this. For everything.» he spits in her face, his short nails scratching half-moon shaped marks into her cheeks. She tries to break free from his grasp, but his hold is tight – so tight, he wonders if he could strangle her, had he gone for her throat instead. «Mark my words. You are nothing but a filthy Nohrian dog… and when I am free to do as I please with you, know that I am going to take everything and anything I want from you—»_
> 
> —as those like her have taken everything and anything they wanted from his country, his people, his family,
> 
> _«…and use it to burn to the ground that pit of snakes you call your home—»_
> 
> —he will make her watch as he does it, make her feel the pain he felt as his father and his sister were taken from him for no reason other than senseless cruelty,
> 
> _«…and only once the ashes of everything you loved have grown cold, I’ll allow you to breath your last.»_
> 
> —and only then, will they be even. He will make her pay for everything, on behalf of all of Nohr.
> 
> _She is trembling now, just like he is. The vicious snarl on her lips mirrors the one he has on his face, which he can see reflected in the sheen of angry tears in her eyes – the same angry tears that cloud his sight, and mind, and judgement._
> 
> _«Don’t forget to hold my jaw while you thrust your cock down my throat, Princeling.» she hisses, and he can almost see drops of venom weeping from her fangs. «I would ask for nothing but the chance to bite it off.»_
> 
> _He leaves one last, red – as red as the glint in his eyes – scratch on her chin as he finally lets her go. The dark chuckle that bubbles in her throat as she sinks back in her darkness seems to follow him out of the dungeons, echoing in his mind like a nightmare._

«Takumi.»

Zoe’s voice snapped him out of those intoxicating memories again, bringing him back. Takumi looked in her eyes, bright as embers, and found so much selflessness, so much goodness it was almost painful – Gods, he didn’t deserve her compassion, her kindness, her love.

«I know this could be a trap. I’m prepared for that, we all are.» she reassured him, but the uncertainty of those words was given away by the anguish Takumi could see clouding her eyes.

“ _Prepared… yeah, right._ ” he snorted, arching an eyebrow as Zoe lowered her eyes, shying away before he could chide her.

She had never felt less sure of herself, and both she and Takumi knew how that calm façade was nothing but a finely chiseled mask. She crossed her arms over her chest, her nervousness leaking through as she rubbed her hands on the pearly fabric of her kimono.

«Would you forgive me if I told you I can’t help but hoping that it is her after all?» she peeped, looking up at him with a tortured, uncertain expression that Takumi had already seen too many times on her face – and that he had hoped to never see again.

«You don’t even have to ask!» he stated, sounding fiercer that he meant to be, striving to keep himself from taking her by the shoulders and shaking her until he could finally awaken some common sense in that thick head of hers. 

Forgive her? For the love of the First Dragons, there was nothing to forgive!

He understood her need for closure, for a definite answer, for the truth. He understood why she couldn’t give up that tiny hope, and he _hated_ having to squash it…

But that dog couldn’t, _couldn’t_ be the daughter of a woman as wonderful as his mother. It couldn’t be, it was absurd, and he wished for Zoe and Mikoto to realize that and avoid irreparable harm.

«I… I just don’t want you to hurt, that’s all.» she admitted, but Zoe shrugged, and he could already hear her say what she always said – “ _don’t worry, I got this, I’ll be alright._ ”

Of course he was bloody worried. He seemed to be the _only one_ who was aware of the pain the Nohrian could cause to his loved ones, to his people… by the Seven, it was so obvious that that… that _thing_ had been sent to accomplish something monstrous!

«What if she’s meaning to kill Mother?» he breathed, barely audible, finally voicing that terrible question that had haunted him since the moment the Nohrian had uttered her name at the edge of the chasm.

That scum had already put whispers in his head that had tormented him, kept him awake, occasionally caused him to snap, and all of that without even touching one of her tomes. How could he know she wouldn’t do the same to his mother, if not worse?

Takumi loved Mikoto dearly, of course, but he knew how naive she could be. He was afraid she would act out of impulsiveness, out of hope, out of despair. She was a woman so compassionate, he didn’t doubt she would be more than willing to open her heart and her arms to that wretched dog, utterly overlooking the terrible danger she would put herself in.

«What if that’s why she’s here?»

He could picture them perfectly: the Obsidian King and his twisted children, hatching a cruel scheme to infiltrate a heartless killer into the Kingdom they hated so…

Zoe shook her head and pinched the bridge of her nose. «Even if she is, Mikoto won’t be in any danger. You and Ryoma will be right by her side. And I doubt that an unarmed Dark Mage could do anything to her anyway.»

He wasn’t so sure about that.

As if to prove him right, the migrane that had tormented him for almost a week flared, and he brought a hand to his temples, trying to soothe the piercing pang that had made his eyes go blind for a second.

By Hotoke, he wanted to believe her, he wanted to be so sure that nothing bad would happen… and a part of him knew that Zoe was probably right, could see the rationality in her words – and yet, that glimmer of reason was quickly put out by the all-encompassing panic that swallowed him whole at the mere thought of that monster breathing in the same air as his mother’s.

_Oh, if only…_

He looked at Zoe, surprised by how clearly he could see her in spite of the haze that clouded his eyes and the pain hammering in his head. He looked at the girl who had spent her childhood persecuted by the nobility of Hoshido, looked at the girl who had brushed his hair and sparred with him, looked at the girl who used to pass out on a carpet of toys by his side, Sakura curled up between the two of them to keep warm. He sighed, reaching out to touch her, to intertwine their fingers and chase away that horrible dread twisting in his gut and writhing in Zoe’s eyes.

«I wish it was you.» he murmured, feeling his cheeks grow warm when her ruby eyes widened in surprise.

«You… what?» she fumbled, taken aback, and he averted his eyes, his embarrassment for that confession almost slipped from his lips making him unable to hold her gaze.

«N-not that it would change anything!» he stammered, furiously hoping that Ryoma wouldn’t choose that exact moment to join in and cursing that big mouth of his. «But… still…» 

He trailed off, his voice silenced by the bittersweet understanding that tore through the serene mask Zoe had put on.

«It would be nice to… to call you sister without anyone glaring at you.» he admitted, looking away because seeing her so fragile was too much, hurt too much.

«Takumi…» she called him softly, and his fingers curled tight around his hand. He worked up the courage to look at her, to take that shine of melancholy that Zoe really couldn’t hide from him. «It would be nice indeed.»

Something unpleasant coiled around his heart squeezed as his mind supplied the rest of the sentence Zoe hadn’t found it in herself to utter: _it would be nice, if only it was possible_.

«I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you sad, I—»

Zoe smiled, running the hand that wasn’t holding his over her face and through her short hair.

«You didn’t make me sad.» she soothed, inhaling deeply before letting go of his hand and stretching her arms behind her back. «But I still need to meet her. And if it turns out that it isn’t her, well… at least we’ll know.» she asserted as she stepped away – and he would have liked to reach out again, hold her back, keep her safe, as far away as possible from that inevitable pain.

«You won’t be alright.» he warned her, almost desperately, but Zoe just shrugged.

«That’s fine.» she stated, pulling a groan from him when she added, half-smiling: «I can take it.»

No, she couldn’t, and she knew it – they both knew it.

«You ask too much of yourself.» Takumi grumbled, earning himself a punch that he couldn’t quite dodge. «Ouch.» he deadpanned, glaring at her and bringing a hand to the offended shoulder.

«You’re one to talk.» she retorted stubbornly, matching his frown with a scowl of her own.

Takumi shook his head and offered a small smile: Zoe was way too kind to see the what a despicable person was he who bore the face of the one she couldn’t help but think of as her little brother…

«And yet, sometimes, I think I don’t ask enough.» he sighed loudly, ignoring the daggers her eyes threw at him and ruining the moment. He crossed his arms and shot a look at Ryoma, who seemed eager to say his piece. «Alright. But I can’t stress enough how against this I am.» he grumbled, his mind screaming at him that nothing good would come of this.

He knew he couldn’t just let the Nohrian dog to rot forever, alone in the darkness… he knew she had to be washed and groomed before being brought before the Queen. And he knew that it was natural that it would fall to Zoe – just in case she really was Ileana, she was the one who had the best chances to make any memories resurface.

But damn it, he wished it could have been someone else – _anyone_ else – and not the one person that would suffer the most from the disappointment the scum would inevitably cause. He really, really didn’t want the filth that monster could spit anywhere near Zoe’s ears.

Zoe’s lips stretched in a little smile. «You’re so cute when you fret.» she teased, reaching out with two fingers to pinch his cheek.

Takumi blushed, but he didn’t swat her hand away. He rolled his eyes to fake annoyance at that sign of affection – which, to be honest, he had always cherished. «Mph.» he snorted, hoping that Ryoma wouldn’t notice the flush on his cheeks.

Zoe’s ears raised slightly, acknowledging the High Prince as he came closer, her shoulders squaring in respect.

«Everything alright?» Ryoma asked Zoe, somewhat worried, his gaze jumping from her to Takumi and back.

«Of course.» she assured him curtly, forcing herself to hide how Takumi’s words had touched her behind her serene mask, but she saw immediately that he wasn’t convinced: Ryoma held them under scrutiny for a little longer, looking curiously at the redness of Takumi’s face, but apparently decided to let it slide.

«I spoke with Kaze, and he suggested that it would be better if you met her alone, Zoe.» the High Prince told her, and shot a sideways glance to his brother. «From what I understand, you and her are not exactly on friendly terms.» he added, and Zoe could hear a touch of sarcasm in his usually even voice.

She turned towards Takumi as well, just in time to see him roll his eyes.

«Well, of course we aren’t. I’m the one who caught her, remember?» he argued, but Zoe knew him well enough to sense that there was more than that.

«You’re hiding something…» she hissed, shooting a quick look to Kaze – and the Master Ninja’s eyes narrowed in confirmation of her misgivings.

_Oh for the love of the First Dragons, what had he done this time?!_

«I—! No I’m _not_!» Takumi’s face grew almost crimson under Ryoma’s and Zoe’s inquiring eyes. «I’m not! I don’t have anything to hide! She’s just being difficult!» he spat, but Zoe could tell from his much, much higher voice that Takumi _was_ hiding something that it was definitely going to get him in trouble. 

«Oh, and you’ve been the very picture of gentleness and good manners, I take it?» she quipped, tilting her head to the side and sharpening her gaze.

«Mph. It’s not like she deserved any better, she’s just a dog an—»

«Takumi.» Ryoma cut in curtly, likely noticing the sudden whiteness in Zoe’s cheek, the muscle contracting in her jaw, her hand gripping the hilt of her sword – it was something she did when she needed reassurance, her fingers wrapped around the silken tsukaito that had once been smooth but had grown coarse with years of wear.

Takumi raised his hands in surrender as he snapped: «Fine, fine! This way.»

He led them down the last two corridors, headed towards the door behind which the Nohrian Princess probably awaited them.

Zoe bit the inside of her cheek and exchanged one last anxious look with Ryoma before leaving him behind, feeling extremely grateful for Kaze’s quiet presence as he fell into step at her side.

“ _Here we go._ ” she rallied herself as she stepped next to Takumi, her hands fisted in the folds of her pants, doing her best to ignore the sense of panic that seemed to have nested in her mind. 

There she was, only a few steps away from a hope she couldn’t help but wish it would turn into reality, and she didn’t have the slightest idea of what she was supposed to do, of what would be awaiting her just past that door.

She looked at Takumi, clinging desperately to the words he had let slip and cradling them close to her heart, letting the warmth of his brother’s love bloom and ease the knot of confusion coiled in her chest. He grumbled something she failed to catch, then sighed in defeat and slammed open that damn door.

The emptiness of the room was the first thing that took Zoe by surprise. She had expected a scarcely furnished room, with little more than a bedroll for the foreign Princess to sleep in… but that little room was completely empty – with the exception of the black-clad girl standing in front of the barred window.

By the Seven, she looked so… small.

The Nohrian girl who claimed to be Ileana wasn’t even as tall as Zoe’s shoulder, and probably weighed about half of her, petite and lean as she was. Yet she carried herself with an elegance that Zoe had learned to associate with those born into nobility, in spite of her tattered and stained Dark Mage clothes.

She was standing still, her hands clasped behind her back, her short golden blonde hair pulled back by a black headband. Her cat-like, vivid green eyes turned to them as they walked in, shining with malice – _malice?_

«Princeling. It’s always a pleasure.» she hissed, turning to Takumi and freezing him solid with the most contemptuous stare Zoe had ever seen.

She caught a shiver rippling over his skin, and she found herself feeling his same need to run her hands over her arms to brush off the sting the girl’s voice seemed to have left on her.

«Have you had me moved up here because you got tired of all those stairs?» the Princess went on, not expecting a reply, tilting her head slightly as she sneered all her disgust at Takumi.

_…moved up?_

«What is she talking about?» Zoe asked, her eyes darting to her brother, catching a glimpse of Kaze walking in and closing the door, quiet as a shadow – and Gods, what wouldn’t she give to stop time to talk to him, to ask him what exactly had happened between Takumi and the Princess. It was obvious that what he was hiding was much, much worse than she had thought.

Takumi clasped her shoulder tightly, pulling her back as if he wanted to shield her from the Nohrian girl. «Don’t listen to her, her kind doesn’t know how to tell the truth. And don’t get too close. I’m yet to find a muzzle for her.» he ordered, his eyes never leaving the Princess, his lips pulled back on his teeth and his face twisted in something Zoe recognized as hatred.

She shook his hand off, disquieted: Takumi was too vicious, too angry, too… too much.

The Princess’ – Ileana’s – unpleasant laughter only added to the absurdity of the situation. 

«So your hand still hurts. I’m glad.» Ileana smirked, baring her teeth, and Zoe winced when she realized she had taken a couple of steps closers, her sharp eyes finally focusing on her. She fidgeted under the scorching look the Princess gave her as she arched an eyebrow, her face darkening with cruelty.

_She was shivering._

Zoe felt her blood turn to ice.

It was easy to see now that she wasn’t leaning on the wall for support: Ileana could barely stand. Her lips were dry, her eyes bloodshot – she didn’t look like someone who had endured nothing but a few days as a political prisoner locked in a scarcely furnished room, not at all. She looked like someone who had feared for her own life, who had been tormented, who was terrified of the person standing in front of her… and the person standing in front of her was Takumi.

«And who might you be? A slut in training who still hasn’t learned how to properly suck a dick? Do you intend to use me to give her a little demonstration, Princeling?»

Zoe’s eyes went wide as her ears turned red – what in the world did _that_ mean?!

Again, Takumi tried to pull Zoe behind him, but barely noticed when she jerked away from his touch. «Wash your mouth out.»

Ileana replied to his furious snarl with a vicious hiss that made her sound like a frightened cat. «With what water?» 

Zoe felt something shatter inside of her as she finally saw the wild desperation writhing behind Ileana’s cheeky, insolent mask, as the truth that Takumi had tried so hard to keep from everyone became crystal clear.

_He had tortured her._

A knife to the back would have hurt less.

Zoe looked at Ileana, taking in the dark shadows under her eyes, her chapped skin, the marks her own teeth had left on her dry lips, the dirt on her clothes and in her hair, her broken nails, and that long, thin scab on her neck. She felt herself tremble, felt the need to hit that _liar_ who had had the nerve of look her in the eyes and tell her he loved her knowing that he had been nothing but a monster.

A monster very much like those that haunted her past.

Ileana snickered, the sound chasing away the memory of a child screaming from the depths of a dark pit, away from the memory of innocents crammed into a cell. It dragged her back to that empty room, by the side of a young man who was suddenly a stranger to her.

«Don’t worry, it’s pretty easy.»  Ileana hummed, something dark slithering through her words that, Zoe was sure, could have tickled the most wicked, violent urges of most men. Yet Takumi winced, uncomfortable – she had read him well. «Just open up nice and wide and breathe through your nose. It’s not like it’ll last long… those like him never do.»

Zoe blushed furiously, the shamelessly lewd words proving a little too much for her ears, though there was nothing but sadness stirring within her: what had Takumi done to her, to force the Princess to resort to that kind of language to keep him at arm’s length?

But of course, she knew.

She knew what it meant to resort to anything, _anything_ – no matter how dangerous it was, how it could have very easily backfired – to look stronger than one was. She had spent too many years hiding away from the cruelty of the Hoshidan nobles – of those spoiled brats who had always detested the nobody the royal family adored so unconditionally – not to know.

But she would have never, ever thought that one day she would see the same cruelty in Takumi’s eyes.

She could hardly believe it, but the truth was right there, in that mad glint in the Princess’ eyes, no matter how hard she wished she could ignore it, pretend it wasn’t true, pretend it wasn’t real – pretend that Takumi wasn’t… that he hadn’t…

She caught sight of his right hand tremble and clench in a tight fist. «You’ll pay for this, you dog! I’ll—»

«Takumi!» she stepped in, with her voice and with her body, her hands on his chest to push him back, away. «I’ll handle this.» she stated, shooting him a warning glance that she hoped would be enough to convince him to leave.

“ _Please, please, please, just leave_ …”

Behind her back, Ileana chuckled darkly, disturbingly.

«Impressive. My mistake then. Clearly, it’s you who are the teacher here.» she spat, but Zoe decided to pay her no mind – she had bigger fish to fry on her hands. «Are you just going to show him how to torture a woman, or how to fuck one as well?»

That, however, made her frown, her mind drifting from the matter at hand for a moment as she wondered, puzzled, how in the world she could ever show a man how to have sex – it’s not like she had a—

«That’s what the sword’s for, I take it. Are you going to sheathe it hilt-deep into me to show him where he should put his—»

«OH, THAT’S IT!»

Takumi leapt forward, his hand furiously gripping that strange, creepy sword strapped at his side, a red shimmer in his honey eyes that Zoe found herself being afraid of.

That couldn’t be true. That couldn’t be Takumi.

«NO!» she barked, putting all her strength in her arms as she shoved him back. «That’s enough! Get out, now!» she ordered him, blind to the fact that she had absolutely no authority to order him anything.

Yet Takumi stopped, staggered by her interference – because of course, how could he ever had imagined that she would stand up to him so firmly, when she was the one who had always had his back, stood by his side, been there for him?

“ _Forgive me, please, forgive me, I… I can’t let you do this._ ”

«But—»

«Out!» she growled, refusing to hear him out, her hand clasping nervously her own katana, its barbed metal just an inch out of its sheathe, ready to be drawn – she couldn’t say how she had found it in herself to turn her blade agains her Prince, her friend, her brother…

Takumi noticed that steely shimmer, maybe realized that he had almost crossed a line, because his eyes went wide as he took a step back, gaping at Zoe, at her sword. «I don’t—»

She couldn’t let him torment a defenseless girl. She wouldn’t let him harm her. She wouldn’t let anyoneharm her, because _no one_ deserved to suffer through what Takumi had done to Ileana, – through what had she had witnessed being done to so many innocents all those years ago… what she knew was still being done to more innocents every day… even if facing him it meant leaving a scar on his pride that wouldn’t let him forgive her, ever.

«I said, _out_!» she roared, squaring her shoulders and hating herself more than ever when she saw the look of betrayal and hurt that flashed in his eyes.

And yet… and yet she couldn’t let him stay so that he could be the rabid, cruel monster he was acting like, because that _wasn’t him_ and she had to hold him back before he did something the Takumi she knew would regret for all his life.

“ _Takumi… please…_ ”

She held fast, ready to stand her ground, but he didn’t move – he just kept gaping at her, confused and staggered as if she had hit him on the head. He looked barely aware of himself when he finally stumbled out of the room.

As the door closed behind him, Zoe sighed deeply, forcing her fingers to uncurl from the hilt of her katana. She tried to relax her shoulders and turned, bracing herself to face that huge question mark embodied by a terrified, embittered Princess.

«Milady…»  she began, her prayer evident in her voice: she only asked for the chance to explain everything.

But Ileana looked more tense and vicious than she had since they came in – and Zoe couldn’t even blame her, given that Takumi had been this close to raise his sword to her. Had she been in Ileana’s place, she would be acting the same… though she had to commend her for not even flinching as Takumi lunged, not even raising a hand.

And then she saw the ropes digging in her wrists – and Gods, how had she missed them?!

She bit her lip, her teeth tripping over her skin in shock as she went on: «Please, milady, listen… there must be a misunderstanding, I—»

Ileana cut her off with a snarl that reminded the Samurai of a wounded, caged creature. «You can take your misunderstanding and shove it so far up your ass, I hope you ch—»

“ _Okay, that’s quite enough._ ”

«What did you mean, ‘with what water’?» she blurted, cutting the Princess off before she could make her blush so hard she’d catch fire – she wasn’t taking her insults to heart, she really wasn’t, but she had to convince that defiant girl to stop talking for a second and _listen_.

She could hardly believe it when Ileana froze at her interruption, her eyes widening in confusion at her words. «I— Wha—?» she stuttered, taking a step back, away from the Samurai.

Sympathy crossed Zoe’s expression as she noticed it, but she nevertheless quietly thanked the Gods for that chance.

«You replied ‘with what water’ when he told you to— er, never mind that. What did you mean? Are you thirsty?» she went on, trying to make her voice as soothing as possible as her heart splintered and shattered under the devastated look in the Princess’ eyes.

“ _By Hotoke… Takumi, what have you done?_ ”

«Milady, when did you last have something to drink?» she pressed her, refusing to give up her one chance, no matter how painful it was to watch as the cracks in Ileana’s arrogant mask spread, making her look like she could crumble any second.

The Nohrian Princess stepped back again, clearly afraid, her bound hands reaching for the comfort of the wall the farthest away from Zoe. She leaned against it, trembling visibly. «No, but— I—»

«Last night.»

Kaze’s serene voice interrupted Ileana’s stammering and made them both jump. Zoe hadn’t heard him creep at her side, a grave expression darkening his elegant, sharp features.

«Kaze, don’t—» Ileana peeped as she sunk to her knees, unable to keep herself upright any longer, shoulders hunching over as she curled onto herself protectively, as if expecting a kick.

«Milady, please, calm yourself. Zoe isn’t going to hurt you.» he promised with that comforting, sweet voice of his that Zoe knew so well…

…and that Ileana had probably learned to know too, because the Master Ninja’s words worked their magic: as a spark of clarity rekindled in her eyes, and she stopped clawing at that what was left of a cape wrapped around her shoulders.

It was that, and the shivers in her hands, that confirmed all of Zoe’s horrible fears.

«You’re freezing!» she whimpered, dropping at once the bag she hadn’t even realized she had held onto the whole time, and unpacked her haori. She turned to Ileana and slowly edged closer with the garment in her arms, crouching down on the floor beside her. «Don’t bite me, okay? I only want to get the ropes off of you and help you into this.»

Ileana hissed at her, not comforted by the Samurai’s half smile in the slightest, but she stayed perfectly still as callused hands reached to undo the knots biting into her arms, and she didn’t snap when the Hoshidan jacket was draped over her shoulders – actually, she curled right into it, looking like a very cold, very frightened kitten.

She was such a small thing, and seemed even smaller next to Zoe – her haori looked more like a blanket on her instead of clothing, but Zoe didn’t mind: seeing her pull the warm fabric closer to her body and sigh in relief made her feel a little better too.

She turned to Kaze, setting aside for later the warm, unspoken praise in his violet eyes – she didn’t need that, not right now: she only needed the truth, needed to know what had been done to that defenseless, harmless girl… she needed to know how deep ran the damage she had to, somehow, undo.

«Where has he kept her?» she forced herself to ask, dreading that his answer would confirm her guess.

It was Ileana herself that whispered: «I suppose I was in the dungeons. I… I don’t know for how long. There weren’t windows.»

Zoe’s mind blanked, white fury roaring among her thoughts and drowning out everything else, her blood pounding in her ears.

A cell. A filthy, suffocating hole where hours could turn into weeks and a night into a whole life, where there was no escape from the damp cold, from the coils of a darkness that took on the shape of nightmares.

«I am going to kill him. Sideways.»

Ileana looked up at her at that threat, probably so surprised by that unexpected camaraderie that the Samurai’s remark coaxed a tiny, fragile smirk from her – even though it disappeared as soon as she realized what she was doing.

«Zoe.» Kaze warned her, ever patient, but the Samurai only rolled her eyes.

«Zoe nothing! There’s more than enough heirs to the Throne of Truth, we can do without one Prince!» she growled, tightening her hands into fists to keep herself from drawing her katana and marching out of that room to go and teach Takumi a couple of lessons he wouldn’t forget for the rest of his stupidly short life.

«I appreciate the thought.» Ileana said as she relaxed into the wonderful warmth the haori provided, her eyes weighing Zoe carefully, studying her. «Who are you?» she asked her, that demanding tone of royalty veining her voice as Zoe had always heard it vein Ryoma’s, Hinoka’s, Takumi’s.

«No one of importance. I’m just a retainer. Well, future retainer.» the Samurai answered, but the sharpening disgust in Ileana’s eyes told that, clearly, that wasn’t the right thing to say. 

«If you’re here just to lie to my face, feel free to leave.» the Princess attacked her, so harshly that Zoe recoiled from her words.

_Oh, Gods, what had she done wrong now?!_ «Milady, I’m not lying, I—»

«Retainers don’t… address royalty like that.» Ileana growled, trying to crawl out of the haori – seriously, of all times for a royal’s pride to get in the way…

«Oh, that. Right, well…» Zoe couldn’t bite back a smile, realizing that Ileana wasn’t exactly wrong: nobody else, except maybe Hana, would have gotten away with something like that. «We grew up together. We’re more like family, really.»

Ileana studied her for a few long heartbeats, and then slumped back against the wall, apparently believing her – and Zoe thanked the Gods for how she had stopped trying to get the jacket off.

«Then condolences are in order.» she spat hatefully. Zoe couldn’t find it in herself to fault her for that, nor get upset.

«Yes, well… I see your point. But I assure you, Princess, he’s not a cruel person, I… I really don’t know what came over him.» Zoe said, mortified, though she could see she wasn’t believed – and she couldn’t blame her, not when she sounded pathetic to her own ears. She sighed, running a hand through her hair. «We should find something for you to eat.» she said instead, eager to change the subject because clearly, talking about Takumi wasn’t the best way to strike up a conversation. «Is there anything edible around here? Kaze?»

The Master Ninja answered her hopeful question with a slight, mysterious smile, and nodded. «I can certainly look into it.»

«That’d be great.» Zoe thanked him with a smile, watching him curiously when he, instead of poofing away into the shadows as ninjas usually did, took his sweet time to get to the door and slip out. _Odd_.

She turned to Ileana again, who had tensed up as they spoke to relax again only when the door had shut behind the Master Ninja. She looked so exhausted that Zoe’s heart ached.

«Kaze is great. I’m so sorry he wasn’t allowed near you.» she apologized, hoping she wouldn’t trigger any more outbursts with that reference to Takumi.

Ileana only nodded, something ugly and empty creeping into her eyes, her hands clawing the Samurai’s haori closer. «Yeah, he…» she tried to utter, but her words died out as tears and not-so-distant ghosts welled in her eyes. «He did his best, I guess. Hinata too.»

Zoe nodded, reassured by the thought that the clumsiest Master of Arms in all of Hoshido had been able to do _something_. «Of course. Hinata is a ladies’ man, he would never dream of harming a woman. Sure, he doesn’t always think before he talks, but he’s so sweet.»

Zoe found herself pushing down the need awoken by her own words of finding him, talking to him, being hugged by him. Hinata was one of her closest friends, and he had always been able to keep her darkest thoughts at bay just being close, somehow.

“ _Gods, Takumi…_ ”

How could she look at him again, after witnessing what he had been able to do, the length he had been willing to go? How was she supposed to live with the knowledge that one of those she held most dear had turned out to be such a monster?

She ran a hand through her hair again, hoping to shake off those thoughts before they could distract her – she would deal with that disappointment eventually, but that wasn’t the time nor place.

«It can’t have been an easy journey.» she offered, not really talking to anyone in particular, so she was surprised when Ileana answered with a small nod. She looked down, her heart growing heavier and heavier with every shadow of what Takumi had done to her crossing the pained, fearful eyes of the girl on her knees before her. «I am… I’m so sorry. Nobody deserves any of what you’ve been through.»

_Nobody_.

The door swinging open and then shut made them both jump and snapped Zoe out of her dark reminiscences. Kaze was back, a tray of what really smelled like onigiri in his hands, and she smiled.

«This is all I could find.» he apologized as he passed her the tray – oh, they really were onigiri, those triangular rice balls of pure bliss she loved so much! – and setting down a pitcher filled with water. «There’s enough for you too, Zoe, if you’re hungry from the trip.»

Zoe frowned when he arched an eyebrow at her – but she had already eaten her fill before arriving to Suzanoh, how could she be hun—

And then it hit her: of course, Ileana wouldn’t eat a single grain of rice unless proven that it wasn’t drugged or something.

«Sounds good! Share?» she offered, forcing a smile towards the terrified Princess as she took a rice-ball and split it in two, popping the smaller half into her mouth. «I like them better warm.» she commented, motioning for the Nohrian noble to take the other half from her, trying to look as laid back and comfortable as possible.

Ileana’s eyes jumped between the rice-ball and Zoe for a few times, filled with uncertainty and distrusts – but when she saw no sign of poisoning of some kind on the Samurai’s face, she reached for the food held, carefully, as if she expected it to be snatched away from her.

Zoe held her breath through it all, understanding – _Gods, he had toyed with food too…_

«They’re… not so bad.» the Princess murmured after swallowing her share of the onigiri with a few quick bites.

Zoe gave her a wide, ecstatic smile – it probably wasn’t wise to show her such a smile, but she was so, so happy that she had made her eat, that she had made her feel safe enough to eat…

Quietly, the two girls shared each and every onigiri – Zoe always made sure to split them so Ileana could have the bigger half, never making sudden movements, and always drank a bit of the water she poured for her. Both tray and pitcher were left empty soon enough.

«Well… thank you.»

«Please, don’t mention it.» Zoe smiled, piling the tableware aside and standing up, dusting her pants quickly. «Milady, how would you like a bath?» she offered next, keeping her voice laid back and casual as her mind raced to remember where the baths were and what would be the best way to clear everyone out so that Ileana could get there without trouble.

The Princess nodded easily – be it because she had food and water in her system again, or because the idea of washing Suzanoh’s cell off her skin was too good to pass up. «I… I’d like that very much.»

She was rubbing her arms, and Zoe’s smile faltered as she wondered how cold she must have been down there. But she pushed the thought away because it could ruin the reassuring façade she had strived to put on in front of the Princess. «Great!» she chirped before turning to Kaze, taking a mental note to thank him for how wonderful he was being with her and with Ileana. «Could you go ahead and shoo any bothers out of the way? I’d hate to stain the floors with blood if I had to do it myself.»

Kaze smiled slightly at her joke but disguised it with a sigh before he nodded and disappeared – ah, that was more like him!

Zoe’s ears stood upright until they didn’t catch that familiar whistle – undetectable for anyone the Master Ninjas of the royal family hadn’t trained to hear – and stood.

«We can go now.» she announced, barely catching herself before offering a hand to Ileana – she was sure she would have just recoiled from her, so she just waited for her to get up on her own. «It’s not far, milady.»

The Princess only nodded, a mild relief on her face at the thought that she wouldn’t have to walk long. She hugged the Samurai’s haori closer and followed her as Zoe stepped out of the door first, to make sure the halls were empty. Kaze was nowhere to be seen, but neither was anyone else – though she was pretty sure she had caught a glimpse of a blue scarf disappearing in a shadow at the end of the corridor.

She sighed and opened up the door for Ileana, ears fully attentive to get familiar with the tired shuffle of her feet behind her.

It may have been sheer luck that the baths weren’t too far from the door, or maybe Kaze had had a say in that, but whatever the case, it took them only a few minutes to reach the granite-floored rooms that harbored big pools filled with water that a system of pipes took there from the nearest river. The haze of warm humidity that greeted Zoe as she poked her head in told her that someone had already lit the braziers set in the stone beneath the pools.

«Alright, here we are! The water’s warm. Here are some towels and over there you’ll find soaps and the sort. You take your time while I go grab you a clean change of clothes, alright? I’ll be back soon, and if you need anything just call. Kaze is definitely nearby.» she told her, feeling suddenly anxious at the thought of leaving her alone – she knew from experience that people who were scared and hurting could entertain some dangerous ideas…

Ileana just nodded, sighing tiredly, looking strained. «Thank you.» she murmured.

Zoe couldn’t do anything but step out and close the door behind her, begging the First Dragons that she wouldn’t regret it.

 

* * *

 

«Ugh.»

Irritated as he was, Hinata allowed himself that one muffled grunt as he got out of the room he had claimed as his own upon his arrival in Suzanoh, slamming the door behind him to stress just how little he liked the whole situation.

“ _Go check that blasted dog hasn’t put a hex on Zoe, since she decided act like an idiot!_ ”

Lord Takumi had all but barged in his room just a handful of minutes ago, his fury barely contained in a way he’d seen only once before, at the Bottomless Canyon. He had tossed the Nohrian dark sword and his Fujin into a corner, completely oblivious to Hinata’s dumbfounded expression, and he had lost himself in a rant of horrible words that, to his ears, had sounded just like the cruel threats his Prince had yelled to Lady Ileana.

That, more than anything that had happened to that point, had convinced the Master of Arms that things were way out of control: Takumi, the Takumi he knew, would have never referred to Zoe any of the words he had barked before giving him that order. Hinata had been more than happy to obey after that outburst – it was hard to listen knowing he couldn’t voice any of the bitter remarks his liege definitely deserved to hear, to bite his tongue like he had done time and time again during the journey back from the Bottomless Canyon.

_Just what had gotten into him?!_

From what he had understood from Takumi’s angry raving, Zoe was the one who had to get the Dark Mage to cooperate for the meeting with Lady Mikoto. His liege was not happy at all with the arrangement, and Hinata couldn’t blame him for trying to interfere – he wouldn’t have been happy with leaving it to Zoe do deal with the Princess alone either, not with everything that Zoe had to endure because of her and without being sure wheter the Nohrian girl was actually her childhood friend.

And yet, despite everything, Zoe had accepted that responsibility – and she had even done what Hinata wished he could have done so often over the past few days: she had defended the Nohrian girl and kicked out the Prince, finally putting a stop to the madness that had violently taken over him.

He didn’t even want to picture what had happened in that room to anger his liege so much, and he was very, very grateful that he had been kept out of it: had he been there, he would have been forced to uphold his vow and fight off Zoe – and that was a possibility so horrible that his whole body seemed to physically reject it.

…especially because Zoe would have likely wiped the floor with him.

Maybe he could go to her for some answers, he mused: maybe she had already figured out why such a drastic change had occurred in an otherwise intelligent and poised person like Takumi.

Of course, no Hoshidan was fond of Nohr and its people, and that was understandable, but… well, the Princess shouldn’t have been treated like that, if only for the royal blood in her veins.

He had tried, along with Kaze, to soothe what pain he could, but he was painfully aware of how little good they had done: he had seen the sheer terror in Ileana’s eyes when he and Oboro had been sent to take her out of the dungeons, he had realized how deep it ran when she fought them off so desperately that even Oboro had frozen in shock. He had was afraid that she was too far gone in her own fears to be reasoned with.

If anyone could break through, it was Zoe. He knew that much.

He sighed, starting to walk faster when he reached the room where they had brought the Princess and found it empty – Kaze and Zoe had probably taken her to the baths so that she could wash herself and get changed. Yet before he could head down the hallway, a familiar voice called him back.

«Nata!»

There was only one person in all Euanthe who called him that.

He turned with a smile, arms already wide open to welcome the young woman who predictably threw herself at him – and he felt her fingers claw at his clothes, her muscular body press against his, her ash-blonde hair tickle his face.

There she was, his Zoe, as wonderfully impetuous as ever.

Hinata hugged her back, tenderly running a hand through her short locks, resting his forehead on her shoulder. The tip of his nose brushed her neck: the scent of the woods had clung to her and she smelled like grass and moss and resin – it was a scent so familiar that Hinata closed his eyes, breathing her in deeply, suddenly feeling home again.

He had missed Zoe, he had missed her so much… he was so used to having her around all the time in Shirasagi that all the days he’d spent on the road had felt terribly wrong. That radiant, fiery, complicated girl had a special place in his heart – a place she had claimed years ago, and that could never be anyone else’s.

She melted into him, into his hug, the way she often did where there was nobody who could see them – and scold them: Shirasagi’s inhabitants were mostly aristocrats, and they would have all cried scandal if they had caught the only heir of a very old and very highly regarded family of samurais doing indecent things with that nobody girl who constantly hovered around the royal family.

_What a bunch of idiots._

Hinata had never had any patience for that load of crap. He had always valued people for their honestly, the goodness of their hearts and their bravery – he didn’t judge them by their social rank, like those empty-headed nobles did. And Zoe had all those qualities, which, in his humble opinion, made her ten thousand times better than those who had nothing but daggers in their eyes every time they saw her near one of the royal siblings.

Zoe sniffed as she hid her face against his shoulder, looking like she would have liked to stay there for good, clinging to him so desperately that he could feel her nails digging through his clothes, into his skin.

«Hey…» he called, stepping back a little to take her face in his hands – and froze when he say the shimmer of barely held back tears in her bright red eyes. «Oh, Gods, Zoe, please don’t cry, why are you about to cry?» he asked her, terrified by the idea of facing the huge mystery of a sobbing Zoe.

She never, _ever_ cried.

Even going back in years, he couldn’t recall a single time he had seen her crying: the image of Zoe in tears felt wrong to him – it was something that didn’t belong to the person he knew and he would have never imagined that, one day, he might see it in the flesh.

Zoe shut her eyes, breathing through her teeth and placing her hands on his, their fingers timidly intertwining.

«Tell me what he’s done.» she whispered.

Her voice was broken in a way that just wasn’t Zoe, a voice that Hinata had never heard and that would have never wanted to hear, a voice that made something within him writhe unpleasantly – because that wasn’t Zoe, that was all so wrong…

She opened her eyes, so suddenly he started a little, and brushed his hands away from her face. «I want to know what he’s done.»

Hinata stood still, horrified by the vicious, desperate mask that had taken over the lovely features of his best friend: he’d never seen her like that, so consumed by something dark that belonged to a past that he had only occasionally glimpsed as a shadow crossing her eyes – but it wasn’t just a fleeting shadow anymore, and all the violent, frustrated emotions that Zoe had so diligently kept locked deep within herself were finally bleeding through.

«But…» he stuttered, uncomfortable. 

He really, _really_ didn’t want to tell her anything of what Takumi had done, because telling her – of the threats, the abuse, the agony inflicted upon Lady Ileana – would have hurt her too much. He would have given anything, anything at all to let someone else explain what had happened, because he couldn’t stand the thought of causing her such pain, not now that he knew how vulnerable she was.

«I don’t think I should…» he tried to talk her out of it, pathetically, but he knew it was a losing battle: he had never been able to keep anything from her, and he knew he couldn’t keep those answers from her either.

«I don’t care.» Zoe shook her head, lowering her eyes just for a moment before catching his own with her gaze. «How long was she down there?» she inquired, and the firmness in her voice only made it sound more hollow.

«I—»

She cut him off by taking his hands, cradling them close, and Gods, how was he supposed to deny anything to that tormented, broken gaze?

«Nata, how long was she down there?» she repeated, and the uncertain fear in that voice made his stomach turn and his heart break.

He hated seeing her like that. He had never been able to bear her sadness – it hurt too much.

«Three days.» he confessed, lowering his eyes because he knew he should have done something, he knew that if Lady Ileana was in such a state it was because neither he nor Oboro had been able to stand up to Lord Takumi.

Zoe’s mouth fell open, whatever color left on her cheeks drained in an instant.

She looked so awfully defenseless… but what else could he expect? He had just told her that one of the people she held dearest had really been a monster – and Zoe had always been afraid of monsters.

However, she surprised him: she refused to falter, her fingers again finding his own as she took a steadying breath, her eyes closing for just a few heartbeats before she opened them again.

«Tell me. Everything.» 

> _Hinata runs, runs as if he has a Faceless on his heels: he has just heard a soldier laugh at the screams of the Nohrian Princess, hinting at obscenities so abhorrent he doesn’t even want to dwell on them as he speeds through the camp. He prays, prays that it’s just a rumor, that Lord Takumi hasn’t really—_
> 
> _Oboro sees him sprint and shoots him a questioning glance –_ _which he promptly ignores: he doesn’t want her to follow because he doesn’t want her anywhere near the Princess, and he definitely wouldn’t want her to see what Lord Takumi could be doing to her._
> 
> _The corner where they’re keeping the Nohrian is dark, but not dark enough for her to hide in it –_ _and there’s Lord Takumi, looming over her, his hands on her face and in her hair as she whimpers and squirms, desperately trying to crawl away from him._
> 
> _«No!»_
> 
> _Hinata leaps, and his first instinct is to rip him off of her. He seizes his liege by the collar of his shirt and yanks him back with everything he has, so abruptly that the Prince almost falls._
> 
> _Oboro is at his side at once –_ _so she’s followed him after all –_ _and holds him up, wrapped around his arm with an expression so strange, Hinata can’t read it: her eyes jump from the Nohrian to Takumi, and he’s sure he’s seeing something akin to horror in her expression._
> 
> _«Lord Takumi—»_
> 
> _The Prince lunges at him, but it’s easy to hold him back –_ _tough it’s_ _not so easy is to keep him from yelling at the girl behind him while he tries to restrain his liege without hurting him._
> 
> _«I won’t let you kill yourself, damn you!» he barks, and there’s such rage in his voice he doesn’t even sound like himself. «You’ll die when_ I _will it, do you hear me?!»_
> 
> _«Stop it!»_
> 
> _He pushes him back harshly, and the Prince stumbles several steps back –_ _but he doesn’t care, and he doesn’t care if that’s the young man he’s sworn to obey. He can’t let him go on like that. It’s not right._
> 
> _«Takumi, what’s wrong with you!?» he barks, all formalities and titles forgotten when he gazes at his childhood friend and finds that he can’t even recognize him anymore._
> 
> _«Don’t be stupid, Hinata, she’s faking it!»_
> 
> _Hinata turns to look at the Princess: she’s curled on the ground, wet as a drowned kitten, mumbling incoherently… but he sighs in relief when he can’t see any signs of violence on her skin or on her clothes –_ _actually, the shards of clay that litter the ground and the water soaked up by her clothes tell of a very, very different story._
> 
> _His liege must have tried to force her to drink, he realizes. Well, it’s true that the Princess has refused food and water whenever she’s been offered some… but isn’t resorting to that violence a little too extreme?_
> 
> _«She’s not faking it.» he snarls, horrified by the state of that poor girl that looks just as broken as the pitcher smashed around her, and he turns to Oboro. «Get him away from here.» he tells her, refusing to meet his Prince’s gaze, because he knows he can’t hide the disgust he’s feeling, not right now._
> 
> _Oboro miraculously listens to him and tugs on Takumi’s arm until he stops fighting back. He lets her drag him away, turning his back on one retainer to give into the constant blabbering of the other one who begs him to let this slide._
> 
> _Only when he deems him far enough, Hinata turns and kneels in front of the girl, and he can see the sobs shaking her small frame_ _now._
> 
> _«Oh, Princess… crap…»_
> 
> _Just where is Kaze? Why hasn’t he stepped in? Hinata left for two minutes, only two stupid minutes!_
> 
> _The Princess shakes and whimpers, and really, all he sees is a terrified, fragile girl: she’s crying, mumbling strings of senseless words that he can only barely catch._
> 
> _«It was just routine… just patrolling…»_
> 
> _He thinks she’s talking about what happened at the Bottomless Canyon, but he really can’t be bothered making sense of it right now: she’s clearly shocked, and he wishes that someone was there to put an end to this madness –_ _Queen Mikoto, Lord Ryoma, Zoe,_ anyone _…_
> 
> _Lady Ileana looks up to him carefully, shadows under and in her eyes: there’s such despair in the look she gives him, so inescapable and all-encompassing, that it sends a chill down Hinata’s spine._
> 
> _«Please, I didn’t do anything wrong… please…»_
> 
> _He believes her. He doesn’t care what Lord Takumi says, but he can’t doubt the forlorn tears running down the face of a young woman suffering through something she wasn’t prepared to face._
> 
> _«I know.» he soothes, slipping off the heavy scarf he wears whenever they march through the mountains. «Here. You don’t want to catch a cold now, do you?» he adds as he wraps the wool around her trembling shoulders, wincing slightly as he brushes her soaked clothes –_ _she must have fought Lord Takumi off, and the water dripping off of her is what she got for it._
> 
> _The Princess shakes her head, warm tears rolling down her pale, gaunt cheeks. «Don’t I?»_
> 
> _Hinata ignores her as he tries to get his scarf to cover as much skin as possible: he can’t and won’t let her fall ill, because it would only end in tragedy –_ _tired, hungry and weakened as she is, she’d never survive the march to Suzanoh…_
> 
> _…and maybe, that’s what she wants. Maybe she’d rather die than spend another day in the Prince’s clutches. He can’t even blame her._
> 
> _«Aw, don’t be like that, it’s gonna be alright!» he tries to comfort her, hating with all his heart the orders keeping him from explaining the situation._
> 
> _More tears stream down her face, teeth biting hard on her lower lip._
> 
> _«I want to go home… please, I just want to go home…» Her green eyes suddenly fly open –_ _and he can see his reflection in those eyes so wide and filled with tears, and all he wants is to wipe them all away, wipe away that savage fear raging just beneath her skin. «Please… please, let me go. I won’t hurt anyone, I just want to go home, I promise I won’t breathe a word about you or Hoshido, and— please, I—»_
> 
> _«He’d find you.»_
> 
> _She recoils from him, from his words, and Hinata hates it: he wishes he could tell her something more encouraging, that he could let her go home and forget about this waking nightmare she’s in, but he knows he can’t._
> 
> _«I’m very, very sorry, Princess, but it’s too dangerous for you to leave.»_
> 
> _It’s obvious that he isn’t helping, but there’s nothing he can do about it. He would let her go if he could, he really would, but in the state she’s in, she’d never get far –_ _Lord Takumi would find her… and he’d have no more reasons to hold back from doing as he pleases with her._
> 
> _He shudders, afraid of what the young man who has taken over the Prince he’s always been so proud to serve could do to that poor girl –_ _afraid of the madness and the fury possessing him. She shudders too, helpless and horrified, and Hinata knows that he can’t let it go on, not like that._
> 
> _«But I think… maybe there’s something I can do to get you out of his reach for a bit.»_

Hinata watched Zoe falter in front of him, disgusted by what she had heard him utter. He made an attempt to hold her up, but then he just collapsed to the floor next to her, hugging her close when she curled on his chest and rested her head on his shoulder.

«I don’t want to… I can’t believe it.» she whispered, and Hinata closed his eyes in defeat: he didn’t want to believe it either, couldn’t believe that Lord Takumi would ever, ever go that far. «He’s not like that…»

«I know.» he agreed, his hands roaming her back to reassure her.

Takumi had never, ever been like that.

Hinata had always admired Lord Takumi: he had always thought he was brave for how he had strived to find his own way, where the shadows cast by the blinding light emanated by his older sibling couldn’t reach him – he never believed they had a single thing on the second Prince of Hoshido anyway. If anything, it was the opposite: Lord Ryoma and Lady Hinoka had never had to fight tooth and nail for anything, had never spent days and days hunched over books or with a bow in hand to become even better, to be worthy of their birthright…

Takumi was strong, intelligent, and fair. He wasn’t always easy to get along with and there was no denying that, but he had always been loyal to those he loved and just even with his enemies.

Or he had been, until Lady Ileana had fallen in his hands.

Had anger done that to him? Lord Takumi and his family had lost so much because of Nohr and the Throne of Thorns – just like Oboro had lost everything to the Nohrian outlaws who had slaughtered her family… and she had made sure that the Princess paid for their crime.

«Oboro didn’t really help.» he grunted, not even realizing he had been thinking out loud until Zoe’s fingers dug in his sides.

«Of course she didn’t.»

Hinata sighed, turning just enough to hide an exasperated scowl in her hair. Zoe and Oboro had never like one another: Oboro had never been able to stand her ever since she had been appointed as Takumi’s retainer, bothered as she was by that Samurai always hovering around her _beloved_ Prince; Zoe all but reciprocated the feeling and had never been above picking fights, jealous as she was of all the occasions the Spear Master had to spend time with him.

«Come on, Oboro’s not bad.» he huffed, brushing Zoe’s exposed throat with two fingers, hoping to comfort her – breathing in the scent of her hair, hoping that it could comfort him in return. «She wasn’t kind, but she’s seen that she had gone too far when she saw the Princess.»

The memory of Oboro’s appalled expression was still so clear in his eyes, he could almost see it. That morning, Lord Takumi had ordered to his retainers to move the Princess from the dungeons to the room where Zoe had found her, and Oboro had finally had to face the frightened screams of the girl, the panic wrecking her as she writhed to escape them, the nightmare the Prince she so devotedly adored had unleashed upon a girl who had done nothing wrong except for breathing on the wrong side of the continent.

«She—» he began, but stopped when he remembered that Oboro had made him promise to never tell anyone that she had decided to keep the scratch Ileana had left on her forearm from Takumi. «—she even did something to protect her, in the end, you know?»

Hinata wasn’t surprised when Zoe snorted and stood up.

«That doesn’t make up for it all.» she stated as she held a hand out for him to pull him to his feet – but then kept her fingers entangled with his instead of letting go. «That’s no way to treat somebody. Anybody.» she groaned, and Hinata had to keep himself from taking a step back, crushed by the anger and the pain etched in her fair face so sharply, Zoe could have scared off even one of Nohr’s monsters.

«I know, but—» he began, trying to calm her down, but the icy glare she shot him robbed him of his words.

«No.»

There was something final in that one syllable, something that Hinata couldn’t really understand but that still sent a chill down his spine. For an instant he found himself back at the endless gorge of the Canyon, saw the fury of the ever-raging, stormy skies in the eyes of his best friend.

The Samurai squared her shoulders and raised her head before stepping away from him, leaving a colder emptiness where Hinata had felt her body pressed against his, her fingers curled in his palm.

«I’ll speak with Takumi.» she stated.

The firmness and the determination in her voice surprised him more of the heaviness of her gaze: the Zoe in front of him, with that blank mask on her face to hide her barely contained anger, was someone stranger to him – it was the iron-willed, merciless warrior that she had trained herself to be in years and years of practice and sacrifice.

As he looked at her, finally seeing past the pretty face and the lovely smiles she had always saved for him, Hinata realized with ice-cold clarity that if she couldn’t fix the damage that Lord Takumi had caused, no one could.

«He’ll listen to me. And if he doesn’t, I’ll beat some sense into his stupidly thick head with my own hands.»


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fear and despair –- Promises -- The Queen of Hoshido -- Breaking point -- Hurtful words.
> 
> CHAPTER WARNINGS:  
> • Suicidal thoughts  
> • Mentions of torture (mild)  
> • Graphic language (less so than last chapter)
> 
> Ileana is in a very, very, VERY dark headspace at the moment. When she thinks about her future, all she sees is torture and death – for both herself and everyone she loves. It shows in her POV and there's no way around that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Tamil)_   
>  _Said when a person cannot understand what is happening and is confounded or confused._

**❝Aiiyoh❞**

* * *

 

The thick, steamy air that rose from the baths burned in her lungs when Ileana resurfaced with a splash. Warm water trickled down her hair and skin, the tears on her face disguised as droplets.

She didn’t even know how she still had it in her to cry.

Panting, she sat back against the edge of the pool and cradled her knees to her chest to rest her head on them, the water lapping at her chin. She couldn’t help but revel in that tepid caress, finding it comforting in spite of everything. She sighed, resisting the call of the hopelessness coursing through her veins and begging her to submerge herself again, for good.

She wanted to heed that call. But she knew that Kaze wouldn’t let her.

She was positive that he was nearby, at the very least within earshot, prepared to intervene. He had always been nearby, during her imprisonment, hidden in the nearest shadow, ever silent yet ever vigilant, ready to stop her before she could harm herself – and stopped her he had, time and time and time again.

He had been kind to her. He had kept the soldiers’ hands and words at bay with warning glances, had sampled a little of the left-overs brought to her as food to prove to her it wasn’t poisoned, had kept her company with the coins sent ringing on the stone of the dungeons to let her know she wasn’t alone – and even if that ringing had been deafening, even if it had made her head hurt as if it had been struck with a hammer, she had drawn comfort from it. He had been kind to her.

She didn’t know why he had been kind to her, why he had done all that – why it felt like he cared. But she knew that he didn’t want to see her miserably hunched over herself, her tears mingling with the water. By the Seven, he had seen enough of her tears already.

What would Xander say, if he were to see her like that, looking as pitiful as she felt? Would he be ashamed of her, for proving to be so weak, for disgracing her siblings and her father with those tears?

Would Leo be ashamed too of her too – or would he understand, understand the fear and despair that had undone every semblance of dignity she had managed to salvage in the damp cold of her cage when that Prince had… when he had threatened to—

He scared her – no, he terrified her. His hatred, the power he seemed to draw from Ganglari – from her own sword, from the sword her father had given her for protection, the sword that had left that shallow, stinging cut on her throat – and the cruel reddish glint his eyes… all of it terrified her.

She had already played the last card she had left when she had called his bluff in the darkness of the dungeons, but she was out of options, and she knew that he had meant each and every one of his other threats. And he was fairly sure he didn’t have it in him to rape her, but there were others among his men who did, who would have liked to touch and take and tear – and she couldn’t put letting them have their way with her past him.

She cringed, the memory of all those eyes on her suddenly a physical prick on her skin. She ran her hands over her body, hoping the warm water would wash away the feeling.

A sob she just couldn’t choke back broke past her lips, and Ileana hated herself, hated Kaze for hearing it, hated how she had clung to his clothes so tightly that her hands had hurt, crumpled on the ground like a rag-doll, crying her heart out, begging him. 

> « _Please, please… kill me, kill me before he tortures me. Take me, take everything, just don’t let him— don’t let him hurt my siblings, please…»_

Her siblings, oh, sweet Dragons, _her siblings_ …

She couldn’t let it come to that. She wouldn’t let it come to that, wouldn’t let them turn her into a weapon to destroy her brothers, her sisters, her friends. She’d die first.

She wasn’t a fool. She knew she had no way out of that, no hope to go back home. She would never see her loved ones again. And it hurt. It hurt to know she had disappointed them, that they were going to be in pain because she had failed a stupid, stupid scouting mission.

She wasn’t a fool. She knew they were – no, that _he_ was going to kill her, slowly, painfully. And that he would draw it out until she broke so he could rip screams and words from her. It wouldn’t even take him long – she wasn’t accustomed to pain, she wasn’t trained to withstand an interrogation – and she didn’t want him to… to… those promises of pain that had been on his tongue, in his hands, the night before – had it been the night before, the week before, the year before? – she didn’t want him to…

She wasn’t a fool. She knew she had to die, but on her own terms, if she wanted to save anyone from the destruction her words could spawn. And she had tried, the Dusk Dragon knew she had tried, from the moment she realized that he wasn’t going to torture her just yet, for whatever twisted reason. But they – the Prince himself, _Kaze_ – hadn’t let her.

She slapped the water in frustration, making it splash and slosh over the edge of the pool. Damn it, damn it all!

Why, why hadn’t he let her?! Why did he keep feeding her that wonderful, atrocious hope telling her that she would be fine, that everything would be fine? Wasn’t it hard enough to live knowing she was _a walking corpse_? Weren’t the hunger—

_…the dizziness it had caused, the way it had drained all strength from her body,_

—the thirst—

_…the sand it had put in her throat, the constant pain it had brought to her skin,_

—the darkness—

_…the monsters curling their claws around her, the nightmares incarnate baring their teeth,_

—the cold—

_…the slimy coils of rock winding in her hair, the absence of feel in her limbs,_

—enough to endure, without him adding his blasted kindness?

She locked her squeal – her snarl, her scream – behind her teeth and splashed some water on her face, muffling those pathetic sounds with her hands, her fingers then carding through her hair as if she wanted to wash it.

Why were they making go through all of it anyway? It was so horribly obvious that she wouldn’t last more than two hours under interrogation. Why draw things out, why… wait?

Maybe that was just Hoshido’s way of torturing prisoners. Maybe instead of whips and knives and ropes to get answers quickly they liked to use hunger and thirst and cold, slowly extracting one word after the other.

Or maybe it was just what they enjoyed. Since they knew they could tear her to pieces whenever they pleased, maybe they were just taking their time and enjoying the show as she fell apart little by little with every passing day. Maybe they were dark and twisted like that.

Or maybe it was just the Prince who was dark and twisted like that. Maybe that was why Kaze had hovered closer whenever he was nearby, why his own retainer had taken her away from him, why Zoe had kicked him out.

…or wasn’t it?

A knock on the door made her start, forcing her to abort her train of thoughts.

«Princess? May I come in?»

Zoe.

_Speak of the wolfskin…_

Ileana let her head rest against the edge of the pool for just a moment longer as she regained the breath that scare had stolen from her, the energy her frustrated outburst had sapped from her body.

With a sigh, she pulled herself out of the water and grabbed one of the white towels stored within arm’s reach from the pools. «Okay.»

The door slipped open and closed quickly. Zoe stepped in the baths, a pile of clothes in her arms. «Hey. Feeling any better?»

Ileana gave her a small nod back, quick, almost birdlike. Zoe beamed in a way that reminded her much – too much – of Elise, making her heart splinter.

Elise, Xander, Camilla, Leo…

The Samurai inched closer slowly, looking like she was ready to stop at any sign of discomfort from her. Ileana just shrugged tiredly, and accepted the other towel held out to her to get the water out of her hair without a word.

She didn’t know how to act around Zoe. She projected… compassion. Safety. Warmth. Ileana didn’t know if she should have been reassured by that, or afraid of it.

«I found something clean for you to wear.» Zoe was explaining as she took back the towel soaked with the water that had been in her locks, gesturing at the pile of clothes on the bench. «I tried to get something you might feel comfortable into, but it wasn’t easy to find something black… it’s not a color we wear much in Hoshido.»

“ _Of course you don’t, with the warm sunlight you get all round the year._ ” was the sharp retort that stung her tongue, but she held it back. Those weren’t words meant for her.

She glanced back at Zoe, who was staring at her expectantly, and bit her lip. «It’s not that I don’t appreciate the thought, but… what happened to my clothes?»

There was something off in the next hesitant smile Zoe gave her. «Safely packed in my bag. I’ll wash them at first chance, but… well, they are in pretty bad shape, milady.»

«Oh.» Ileana breathed, her fingers tormenting the edge of the towel wrapped tight around her body, feeling a weight settle on her heart. «Well, I’ll just mend them, I—» she would have felt a lot better with her own things… but why had she packed them? «—I… um… are we— are you taking me somewhere?»

The Samurai chewed on her lip, as if debating if she should do something or not. Ileana reacted to that hesitation by curling into herself, stepping away – what did that hesitation mean? Those red eyes were looking at her like their owner regretted what she was about to do, but had to do it anyway.

Zoe had to see the fear she was feeling creeping back into her stance, because she raised her hands in front of her, palms held out. «Milady… please, just hear me out, okay?» she pleaded, and took a deep breath. «I’m part of the entourage of Lady Mikoto, the Queen of Hoshido. Reina, the Kinshi Knight that you met at the Bottomless Canyon, came to tell us about you, and Her Majesty wishes to see you personally.»

Her own heartbeat became deafening in Ileana’s ears as those words worked their way through her thoughts.

The Queen of Hoshido wanted to see her personally.

She had thought she had heard something about orders being issued about not starting with torture, but it had seemed so impossible that she had convinced herself she had imagined it or misheard or misunderstood.

Was that why he had been waiting, then? For the Queen herself to see her?

«And what—» _why?_ , she wondered, why would the Queen want to speak to a prisoner, a hostage? She had nothing to do with her, with Hoshido, with the war – how could she? She had lived her life in isolation, locked into a tower. «—does your Queen want with me?»

Zoe kept silent, still chewing on her lip, on the inside of her cheek. Ileana couldn’t help the dark, blinding images that flooded her head and shivered, her blood turning to ice.

So the Queen was just like her son, she thought as her breath grew shallow, something heavy and dull pressing against her temples. Maybe she had ordered not to leave any signs of violence on her skin so that she could have her all to herself, prim and untouched to mark her as she pleased. She wanted to be the one to tear the words from her throat – words that would doom everything she held dear.

Maybe they would do it together, mother and son. Ileana felt herself tremble at the thought, her world shrinking, twisting, constricting.

No. Her hands gripped the towel wrapped around her chest so tightly, she couldn’t even feel them anymore. No, she wasn’t going to let them torture her – she wasn’t going to let them turn her into a weapon to destroy her family. No, she’d die first.

«Go back to your Queen.» she spat, her words lined with steel, laced with poison. «And do tell her, on my behalf, that I am not something for her and her darling son to play with.»

Zoe’s eyes widened with astonishment and discomfort – good, she thought. She wanted her out of there. She had to make her get out of there, leave her alone. It didn’t matter if she would go and call the guards to drag her before the Queen – she didn’t need long. The water would do.

Ileana gritted her teeth, calling on a strength she didn’t have, but had to find. «And tell her that if she’s that eager to spend some quality time him, instead of torturing someone together she could very well get on her knees and su—»

«It’s really not that easy to drown yourself, you know?»

Zoe’s sentence silenced the rest of her remark in an instant. The Nohrian Princess’ arrogant stance melted away a heartbeat later, as she took another step back, feeling the dampness that coated the walls of the baths cold against her bare shoulders. «Wh—? No, I wasn’t—»

«—going to attempt suicide the second I stepped out of here? Yeah, you were.» Zoe cut her off, the unbearably sad smile on her face taking every obscene counter right out of Ileana’s mind. «I know you’re scared, milady, but please… you’re torturing yourself for no reason. Nobody is going to harm you, I promise.»

Ileana hissed at her when she tried to step closer, wild and resentful.

Damn it. Damn _her_.

Just like Kaze, Zoe had seen right through her. Ileana should have expected it, given how perceptive she had proven to be when she had robbed her of her words in the other room, when she had realized that her insinuations were just a way to scare off that prude of a Prince – of course the same trick wouldn’t work on her. And there she was, interfering when all she wanted was to protect those she loved, even if it meant removing herself from this world… just like Kaze.

Ileana shivered, that alien yet familiar pressure throbbing in her skull.

By the Seven, was she so doomed that she couldn’t even decide when to end her own life anymore? Were they going to take even that last bit of dignity from her?

…but of course they would. Of course he would.

Scum. _Dog._

That’s all she was to him – to them. Something they could do whatever they pleased with, something to bind and chain and kick and _muzzle_. Something to play with and then get rid of when the game turned tiresome.

Well, she wasn’t going to play along – she wasn’t going to die at his feet, strangled by the whip he’d wrap around her throat like a leash.

The throbbing in her head swelled and spread, running down her body in rivulets that made her skin tingle.

_No._

«Milady, please, I—»

She laid a hand on the slimy wall for support, her chest tightening, and failed to notice the water rippling in the pools because of the blur at the edge of her vision.

_No._

Zoe took one step closer, and a spark seemed to jolt through her body.

_NO!_

«LEAVE, NOW!» she shrieked, pressing her hands against the pain that flared in her temples and hunching over, eyes flying shut. «Leave me be… LEAVE ME BE! Damn it, damn YOU! I just want this over with!»

«ILEANA, STOP IT!»

Her name.

It rang loud and clear in her ears, booming over the silent storm raging in her mind and quelling it a lightning speed.

Her name. She hadn’t heard her own name in… in… well, ever since she had been taken.

She panted, breathing still difficult but slowly evening out, and uncurled from the wall just enough to look at the Samurai.

She had called her by her name. She wasn’t completely sure why that was such a shock to her, but it was.

_Her name._

Zoe herself seemed quite shocked – yelling at royals seemed to get the job done, for whatever reason. She took a deep breath, relieved, pushing wet strands of hair out of her eyes – _why was her hair wet?_ , Ileana wondered absentmindedly. «The Queen just wants to hear your version of what happened at the Bottomless Canyon. That’s all.»

«Am I to believe that she came all this way just to ask me something that I’m sure her son already told her?» the Nohrian Princess shook her head, the remains of a sneer on her lips. «And when she’s done with it, with _me_ , then what? Will she give me to her son to… to finish what he started, let him toy with me until… until I—?»

Her voice cracked, her despair leaking out, and Ileana cringed when she heard it – but there was no way she could reign it in. She was tired, and scared, and alone. She wanted Leo there, she wanted her brother, brothers, sisters. She wanted her family, she wanted home.

«Absolutely not.» came Zoe’s answer, sounding so confident and indisputable that it soothed the sobs Ileana could feel burning in her throat. «Queen Mikoto only has the best intentions. I am positive that she will listen to you whatever your heart desires, and do her best to provide for it.»

Ileana bit back a whimper at the thought. By the Seven, she wanted to believe her. She wanted her words to be true, she wanted it so _badly_ …

«Will she let me go home?» she sobbed, the words out of her mouth before she could stop them, stop herself from uttering the one question they were going to wield against her to break her.

Her answer came after a beat of silence, heavy, tormented. «If that is what you wish. She’ll also send word to Nohr for someone to come and get you, and give you an escort to the border. I’d bet my sword arm on that.»

She shook her head, trying to clear it from the haze her outburst had put there, trying to think her way out of her confusion. How could Zoe’s words be true, after everything they had done to her? How could it have been all a mistake, a misunderstanding? People didn’t starve and threaten and lock up others _by accident_. «No… No, I don’t— _can’t_ believe it, I—!»

«And I can’t blame you. The way you’ve been treated…» Zoe trailed off and lowered her eyes.

She seemed… well, mortified was the only word Ileana could think of. Her defensive stance melted away a bit as the Samurai looked back up at her, nothing but pain and compassion in her eyes, the palms of her hands once again offered to her.

«I beg you, milady, believe _me_ : we had no idea of what was being done to you. If we had known, we would have sent Reina back in a heartbeat. It’s unacceptable, and I will personally make sure that the royal idiot doesn’t get away with it. I promise you that nobody will be allowed to harm you farther. I _promise_.»

Ileana’s breath caught in her throat. Zoe sounded pleading, tortured, sincere. She couldn’t believe her, but she wanted to – by Hedi, _she wanted to_ … she wanted to allow herself that one glimmer of light, the hope that she could really see her family again, she wanted it so _badly_ …

It was so hard to keep her distrust up, because Zoe looked too honest, and because she needed it too much – she needed that unwavering sad smile, those friendly arms held out to her, the reassurance in those eyes. She longed for that kindness, that warmth, for the safety they promised.

She longed for them as desperately as she feared the bite of the whip that would sentence her family to death.

Leo, Elise, Xander, Camilla…

She said nothing, her eyes weighing, teeth tormenting her bottom lip. She couldn’t, couldn’t, _couldn’t_ believe her. She whimpered, a pathetic sound that escaped her lips against her will, and she thought she could almost see Zoe’s heart break.

«Oh, Ileana…» she breathed, again forgetting all formalities – but Ileana didn’t mind, not when it made her sound so… so… _safe_. «I won’t allow anyone to harm you, in any way, I promise you, I _promise_. I’ll be there, I’ll make sure of it. So will Kaze.»

The Master Ninja’s name rang loud in Ileana’s ears. «Kaze?» she echoed, relief so horribly evident in her voice, she would have slapped herself for it.

Kaze. Kaze had promised her. _Kaze had promised her…_

Zoe nodded eagerly, her sad smile growing just a tad more hopeful. «Yeah. I think he wants to make sure he’ll be able to keep the promise he’s made to you. And I promise you to help him do it, should he need me to.»

Ileana felt like her brain wasn’t working anymore, as if the gears in her head simply couldn’t keep turning. Her mind was swimming, drowning in confusion. «You don’t even know what it is that he promised me.»

Zoe’s sad smile was back. «From what I’ve seen, I think I have a pretty good idea.»

Ileana swallowed thickly, by now completely slumped against the wall, barely having it in her to stand on her own. «And what if they order you to stand aside? Not to keep your word?»

«I’ll keep it anyway.» Zoe replied, almost carelessly. As if promising her to defy the orders of those she had sworn to serve – to king and God and country – meant nothing, in the face of that tiny – _huge_ – promise.

«Really?» the Nohrian Princess asked, her shoulders shaking, her words oozing both hope and utter, crippling, undiscerning dread.

«Really.» Zoe nodded easily, her voice steadfast, unwavering.

She took one little step closer, then another. She stopped briefly when Ileana bared her teeth at her in a warning, but never lost her calm demeanor. Eventually, she got close enough to reach out. Ileana immediately closed her eyes, half expecting to be slapped, but opened them again when a soft towel brushed her cheek to erase the tracks of tears she hadn’t realized she had cried. Zoe just smiled at her puzzled gaze.

«Why don’t we get you out of this damp towel?» she offered, gesturing for her to go and sit on the bench where the fresh clothes she had fetched still waited patiently. «We’ll get you dressed and brush your hair until it’s dry. Wouldn’t that feel better?»

Ileana felt like she had no strength left to even answer her, much less to protest. She let the Samurai move so that she could wobble over to the bench and sit down, and then allowed her close – almost unbearably close, though to her credit, Zoe did everything she could to never touch her skin on skin, sure that it would make her start and snap again. 

She examined the clothes as Zoe helped her slip into them, carefully. The weight that had settled on her heart when she heard she wouldn’t be able to wear her own uniform eased a bit when she realized that the clothes fetched for her were decent, formal and, most importantly, not too Hoshidan-looking: a top that left her abdomen and part of her shoulders bare, but had long, bell-like sleeves; a pair of oddly cut shorts, longer on the outside – the fabric covering just above her knee – while shorter on the inside; a grey sash that Zoe wrapped around her middle, to cover the skin left bare by the top, with tassels that hung almost to the ground. The weight lifted even more when she slipped in her own boots – Zoe had managed to make them look presentable enough to go with the outfit.

«Will… will he be there too?» Ileana breathed, barely audible, as Zoe went to brush her hair dry.

Zoe didn’t stop combing through her short ringlets – she didn’t need to ask to know that she was talking about the second Prince, nor that she meant her audience with the Queen. «He’s her son. Nobody has the right to shut him out.»

Ileana froze, unable to help the fear clawing at her heart. She didn’t want to see him. She didn’t want to feel his eyes on her, his hatred scorch her skin in all the places where his hands would have liked to leave their marks…

«Please, don’t be afraid.» came the soothing voice, snapping her out of that spiral, but it wasn’t Zoe’s.

_Kaze._

The Master Ninja was crouched on the floor before her, close enough that she could see his calmness and worry for her in his caring purple eyes – she hadn’t heard him come in. «He won’t hurt you. No one will. I promised, and so did Zoe.»

Ah, he _had_ been watching then – so maybe that was why she hadn’t heard him come in: he hadn’t opened the door, he had just stepped out of a shadow.

«You promised.» she just peeped, averting her gaze. «You will keep your word, right?»

«Right.» they both answered.

And she clung to that answer, because she needed it, and she needed to believe it was the truth – she had staked lives on that promise, not so much her own, but her siblings’.

Her siblings, oh, sweet Dragons, _her siblings_ …

«We should go.» Kaze pressed as he stood.

Zoe hesitated, weighing his words, exchanging with him a worried look Ileana didn’t see. «Yeah. I guess we should.» she finally agreed, but her words were as heavy as lead.

They let Ileana stand on her own, close enough to help her should she ask them to, but not initiating any contact themselves. They weren’t asked for any help, and so they walked her out of the baths and into the corridor, Zoe opening the way while Kaze let himself fall behind so that the Princess walked in front of him.

Ileana followed them meekly, incredibly quiet. She couldn’t stop looking around, intimidated by the grandeur of the Great Wall, even from the inside of the garrison: the corridors they were walking down weren’t too wide, but the walls were tall and made her feel dizzy when her eyes tried to follow them all the way up to the ceiling.

Everything felt extremely foreign to her. Sure, Castle Krakenburg had looked pretty grandiose too, at least as far as the exterior and the Throne room went. But the inside had been narrower, and made of stone as opposed to the lacquered wood panels that covered the walls of the Hoshidan garrison. It had felt more like home to her, maybe because it was similar to her Northern Fortress. It had made her feel like she belonged there.

She didn’t like the way the Great Wall made her feel – small, and insignificant. She had had enough of feeling insignificant.

But of course, she was – insignificant, to them, just someone to use. She thought of the Prince, waiting for her along with his mother, eager for the Queen to make up her mind and let him question her – let him have his fun with her.

Something cold and unpleasant slithered on her skin, through her body. She looked at Zoe – walking in front of her, seemingly tense – and at Kaze – trailing behind him like a shadow, his expression completely blank. They had adjusted to her stride and were walking slowly, uncomplaining, as if they were in no hurry at all, as if they had all the time in the world – it’s not like she could run anywhere, anyway.

No, she couldn’t run. She would have accomplished absolutely nothing by trying to run – after all, she didn’t know where she was, not in the fortress and not in Hoshido, as a matter of fact, because she had been too delirious to pay attention when they had brought her there… she didn’t even remember how they had brought her there in the first place. She had no way out – no way out, except for death, and she had to count on Zoe and Kaze for that too, because she had no way take her life herself now.

They had promised her. They had promised that they would put her out of her misery, should the Prince be granted the freedom to lay his eager hands on her. She had staked her siblings’ lives on that promise. They had promised her.

Surely, they wouldn’t have made such a promise so that she would just walk quietly straight to her own demise – they could have just dragged her, couldn’t they? They wouldn’t have made such a promise if they didn’t mean to keep it…

…or would they?

Ileana came to a halt and leaned on the wall, pretending that she had stopped just to catch her breath – Kaze and Zoe stopped with her, never abandoning their positions, waiting patiently. Her mind was racing, as if the gears in her head were finally working again, a million thoughts tripping one over the other in a way that made her temples throb.

It was something she had considered before, of course – buried alive in the darkness as she had been, she had had all the time to consider every possibility, every explanation for what was happening to her. Of course she had considered that Kaze and Hinata had been acting so kindly towards her just to get under her skin, to get her to trust them and let things slip without even realizing it.

She had dismissed that idea because neither Kaze nor Hinata had ever asked her a single question, which at the time had seemed to defeat the purpose of the trick.

But then Zoe had entered the picture, the same words of reassurance on her tongue, and the promise of that shimmering hope to go home and see her family again.

Maybe it had never been about information, after all. Maybe it had always been about convincing her that she would be fine, about getting her to believe them so that they could watch her shatter when they took that shimmering hope away from her.

That… that would have left her even more defenseless than ever, because it meant that she would have clung to life, letting slip through her fingers all the chances to dispose of herself and rob them of their precious source of information.

…and wasn’t that exactly what had happened?

She pressed two cold fingers against her temples, and a tingling shiver ran through her hands. By the Seven, she had fallen for it. She had stepped right into their trap. She had lost her chance to die on her terms.

Now, it was time to die on theirs.

«Are you not feeling well, milady?»

Zoe’s voice exploded in her ears, making her jump, stumble, and almost fall. She barely caught herself, and hissed at Kaze’s outstretched hands hovering just above her arm. The Master Ninja’s eyes widened slightly at that, and she saw him shoot a strage look to the Samurai – a warning look.

«Don’t worry, it’s not much farther. It’s… we’re almost there.» she said, trying to smile, but Ileana just bared her teeth at her.

‘It’s almost over’, she was going to say.

It wasn’t. It wasn’t going to be that swift. It was going to be long and horrible and painful. Unless…

…unless she found a way to force them to kill her before they got to the torture, of course.

With that in mind, she pushed herself off the wall and nodded. The two warriors looked at her in surprise, exchanged another glance. They seemed bothered by something.

When they turned and finally started walking again, Zoe asked: «Um, you mentioned that you’d like to mend your clothes? You mean you can sew? Who taught you?»

Ileana didn’t know if she had asked her to try and rebuild the connection she probably felt she had lost with her, or if that was a way to find out potential targets – people to threaten, people to hunt down and torture and slaughter right in front of her eyes, because that’s what the Prince had promised to do…

She didn’t want to answer. She didn’t want to tell Zoe that yes, she could sew, because Flora had taught her to – along with Camilla – when Ileana had begged her out of guilt for having her constantly mend her training suits. She didn’t want to tell Zoe her how long it had taken for the blue-haired Maid to warm up to her – unlike Felicia, who had been nothing but smiles and sweetness ever since she could remember. She didn’t want to tell Zoe that that day had marked the end of the master-servant relationship between her and the Maid, and the beginning of some kind of lukewarm camaraderie.

Because what if telling Zoe meant that harm would come to Flora?

No, no, no… she wouldn’t sentence another to death. Too many were in danger just because she still drew breath already.

Camilla, Leo, Elise, Xander…

«I can sew.» she deadpanned.

Something in the emptiness of her voice seemed to strike Zoe, because she stopped and turned, her heavy eyes weighing, considering, doubting. She chewed the inside of her cheek again as she cast a troubled glance to the door at the end of the hallway, so close – was she having second thoughts? Was she taking pity on her? Would she keep her wor—?

No – Ileana snarled at her own thoughts, putting out with her own hand that small light that had sparkled in her darkness – no more hope. She couldn’t allow herself hope, no matter how much she wanted to see her siblings again.

She would never see them again. She couldn’t wish for it anymore.

She could only wish for death, and wish that it came before the Prince of Hoshido could lay his eager hands on her – hands that only wanted to feel her cry and beg and writhe in their grasp as they tore words from her throat, turning them into weapons to use against her loved ones as she bled…

She looked at the door too, dreading what she would find behind it – dreading the lash of whip she would be greeted with as soon as that panel slipped open.

No, no, she couldn’t let that happen. She couldn’t die on his terms, begging at his feet. She had to die on _her_ terms – at his feet anyway, but out of her own will. She had to force him to kill her on an impulse. She had to make him snap. She had to find a way.

«Zoe.» she heard Kaze chide, and so the door slipped open.

No whip landed on her skin when Ileana was carefully nudged inside, because her legs hadn’t been able to manage that one small step.

The light allowed in the room by the window momentarily blinded her, making her grit her teeth – she wasn’t used to that much light in the first place, and after the time spent in the bowels of the fortress, well… she couldn’t say it agreed with her eyes. She vaguely remembered screaming in pain when Kaze and Hinata led her out of the dungeons.

Her sight returned quickly enough, even though she could still see that haze at the edge of her vision, and the brightness still made the dull ache in her head throb more fiercely.

The room… didn’t look like a torture chamber. It looked like an ordinary, small but kind of fancy drawing room. The furnishing wasn’t anything spectacular, though it made it clear that she was in the residential wing of the garrison: there was an elegant sofa, and the stuffed chairs in front of it looked simple, but comfortable. A porcelain tea set was spread out on the small glass table in the middle of the room – she counted four cups. There were three people in there.

There was a woman sitting on the couch, her blue-and-white dress embroidered with gold, a sun tiara glowing on her raven hair. Queen Mikoto. So that much of what Zoe had said was true – the Queen really had come to see her.

_…why?_

Sitting next to her there was a tall, strong man, with brown hair that cascaded down his back in a spiky mane, clad in white clothes and red armor. He carried himself with a calm confidence that befitted a general, but it was the sharp thrum of energy she felt coming from the sword at his side that made her realize whom she was standing in front of – that was the energy of a divine weapon. The one who had taken her at the Bottomless Canyon was the second Prince of Hoshido. Clearly, she was in the presence of his older brother.

Her tormentor was there too, just as Zoe had anticipated. Leaning against the wall behind those who were obviously his family, he was watching her like a hawk would watch a flightless little bird. She could feel his threats burn on her skin, as the hatred burned red in his eyes.

«Ileana.» the Swordmaster began – he had a deep voice, and the smile on his face looked kind. «Welcome to Hoshido. I am Ryoma, High Prince of this Kingdom. You are already familiar with my brother Takumi. This is my mother, Queen Mikoto.»

Ileana simply stared at him, not fully understanding what was going on.

She was expecting to be tortured. She was expecting him to unsheathe his sword and press it to her neck, to feel the divine power coating its edge sink into her skin and tear her apart. But he was talking to her. Smiling at her.

_…why?_

She tried to open her mouth to speak, but no sound came out. Before she could try again, the Queen stood up, looking like she had just been presented with a gift.

«Ileana.»

There was no title, no formality in the woman’s voice as it sang her name – there was only warmth, the likes of which she had never heard before, and the sort of relief one is filled with when finding something believed to be lost for good.

Ileana couldn’t keep the puzzlement out of her expression when she looked up and saw the Queen’s radiant smile as she stood and took a small, hesitant step towards her, arms outstretched as if to hug her.

She took a sudden, instinctive step back, her breath catching in her throat, sharply, loudly.

The Queen stopped immediately and lowered her hands, but her smile didn’t falter. «Oh, I’m sorry for reaching out so suddenly, my sweet. I didn’t mean to startle you… but it’s been so long, I forgot myself. Please, come here. Won’t you sit next to me?»

Ileana was too stunned to argue – too stunned to speak. She only followed as the woman returned to the sofa and sat down, dazed. It didn’t feel like she had control over her body as she let her feet carry her those two steps – the softness of the pillows felt frighteningly weird to her, after all the time spent lying on cutting rock and grating dirt.

The High Prince smiled broadly as he went to settle in a chair. She caught him motioning for his younger brother to the same, but the Sniper simply shrugged, keeping to his wall, his eyes never drifting from their prey. She felt her pulse quicken under his scorching gaze, the haze in her mind – the same haze she had felt in the baths – swelling – just like it had swelled in the baths.

It was the Queen’s voice that forced her attention away from him. «My sweet? Is something the matter?» her own dark eyes went from her to her son, then back, and she smiled reassuringly. «I know you and Takumi started on the wrong foot, but I assure you, there’s nothing to be afraid of. He’s here to welcome you home!»

Home.

Nohr was her home. Not that place. Not with those people.

_What in the world was going on?!_

«I…» a shiver ran through her body, making her hyper-aware to everything. Her mouth felt dry, but she forced the words past her chapped lips. «…I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know you.»

The joy in the woman’s eyes withered in an instant.

The High Prince’s face had grown dark too, she noticed when his words drew her attention to him: «You… have no memory of her? At all? Nor of me, or of… of this place?»

Ileana looked at him as she would have looked at a talking lobster. «I… no. How—» she had spent the last fourteen years of her life locked in the Northern Fortress, how could she have met the Queen of Hoshido? «—how could I?»

Something definitely broke in the High Prince’s expression at that. He looked like he wanted to say something, and something bad at that – his shoulders were tense, his jaw set, his hands clenched into fists. She saw a tiny little smirk on the second Prince’s lips when she turned to see why his gaze turned so intense, she could feel it prick her skin.

Then the Queen waved her hand soothingly, dispersing the tension that had built in the small room. She smiled at the Dark Mage, bittersweet. «I… suppose that’s understandable. You were so, so young after all…» her fingers reached out to brush the girl’s hands, shockingly pale against the dark clothes she was wearing, but she tucked them away in the folds of her sleeves. «Ileana, I am your mother.»

_Her mother._

Of course Ileana had asked about her mother, after overhearing Felicia, Flora and Jakob talk about their parents, when she was little. She had gone straight to Xander at first chance, and asked him who their parents were. He had told her of a loving but strict man named Garon. He had told her of a gorgeous, affectionate and deadly woman named Katerina.

Queen Katerina had been a Malig Knight, and one of the most beloved queens of Nohr across history. She had been fearsome with a tome, and ruthless with an axe. She had made Leo play with magic for the first time, and Camilla had admired her so much, she still strived to become more like her with every passing day. Elise had no memories of her at all, for she was too little when she had passed away from a sickness that had threatened Ileana’s own life – hence why she had been sent to train alone in an isolated fortress: nobody wanted to take the risk of her falling ill.

Xander had told her so much about Katerina. He had told her that she had loved her with all her heart, that she had hair much like Camilla’s and eyes bright and green, much like Ileana’s. He had told her that she was always watching over her, and when Ileana was allowed to play with Marzia, who had been Katerina’s wyvern, she could almost feel her close.

The woman sitting before her was _not_ her mother.

«I am one of King Garon and Queen Katerina’s daughters. I am of Nohr.» she stated, her voice surprisingly steadied by a distant anger.

She could feel the second Prince shift in reaction to her denial, pushing himself away from the wall, treading closer, his eyes glowering.

«Oh, my sweet, sweet child…» Queen Mikoto sighed, and Ileana could see she wanted to reach out to cup her face, but didn’t – and thank Hedi she didn’t because she had no idea of what her reaction would have been. «King Garon and Queen Katerina are not your parents. Not by blood, at least.»

Ileana just stared at her, the white throb in her head pulsing louder, coursing through her body, making her hands hurt and her eyes veil.

Nothing made any sense to her. She had expected torture, or the questions on the battle at the Bottomless Canyon Zoe had told her they would ask. But no, here the Queen was, telling her she was her mother – that the High Prince and the young man who had hurt her, threatened her and who wanted to kill her were her brothers.

«I understand that this must be quite the shock for you…» said the High Prince, catching the overwhelmed look she gave him. «…but I assure you that she speaks the truth. You are of Hoshido. You were taken from us when you were little. We are your family»

No.

She was of Nohr. Xander and Leo were her brothers, Camilla and Elise were her sisters – they were her family.

This place was _not_ her home. These people were _not_ her family. Why were they telling her otherwise?

She was barely breathing now, her pulse racing faster through her veins, thorns digging more viciously through her skull. There was something strange with her eyes too – the haze at the edge of her vision had come alive, quivering with little sparks.

Nobody seemed aware of her discomfort though, because the High Prince and the Queen kept rambling on – either she was better than she thought at faking composure, or maybe they simply didn’t care.

«We didn’t know what to think: we expected your captors to ask for a ransom, or to turn you into a political prisoner, but we never heard anything.»

«We have been worried about you for so long… but now you’re back…»

Her captors. A political prisoner.

They were her captors. She was a political prisoner now, not a lost child who had just returned home after years and years and years.

«No.» Ileana breathed, and then more loudly, she added: «This is all wrong. This is a mistake.»

Her words made all the room go quiet. She could feel everyone’s eyes on her, weighing, wondering, whispering – she could feel the second Prince’s eyes on her, gleaming, glaring, gloating. His gaze on her was almost physical, bruising. She hated it, hated how hyperaware of it she seemed to be. The pulse that had started in her head was now throbbing through her all body, making her shake.

«This is no mistake, Ileana.» the High Prince told her.

The pain in his eyes mirrored the Queen’s one as she gave her a sad smile, and said: «You have a mark on your left palm.»

Whatever little color was left on Ileana’s face drained at those words.

«How do you know?» she exhaled shakily.

She did have a mark on her left palm. It was a line, slightly arched, that ended with a curl. Thin, tiny splinters branched from it. She had had it ever since she could remember. No one had ever been able to tell her if she was born with it, or how she had acquired it somehow.

The Queen’s eyes shimmered. «It’s a scar. I was there when you got that. It was an accident, and I’m so, so sorry I couldn’t prevent it. You probably don’t remember, though: you were only three.»

Ileana clenched her left hand. She tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but failed. «No. T-that’s not possible.»

«But it is true, milady.»

Kaze.

She turned to face the Master Ninja, who had taken a step towards her, his hands held out in front of him. He looked slightly worried, and Ileana guessed he was seeing tremor in her hands, hearing the haste of her breath. He kept his voice even as he explained: «You were kidnapped in Cheve, fourteen years ago. King Garon and King Sumeragi were supposed to discuss a new peace treaty… but when we entered the city, we walked right into an ambush. Our King was killed, and you were abducted.»

The High Prince’s voice was everything but even when he added: «I was there, Ileana. Our father took me along because King Garon had suggested for the first princes of either Kingdom to attend, as proof of good intentions. You came too because you had just turned four. We wanted the journey to be your birthday present.»

The first princes.

The High Prince of Hoshido.

The Crown Prince of Nohr.

Xander.

«You’re lying.» Ileana hissed in disbelief. She could feel herself shiver, her skin itch, her head pound – she felt as if a storm was building inside of her, just like so many had built just outside of her window, back home, back in Nohr, back at the Northern Fortress. «He wasn’t there. My brother, he… he’d never…»

He was lying. She was sure of it.

Xander wouldn’t… Xander couldn’t… 

The High Prince sneered. «You mean the Crown Prince of Nohr? Believe me, he was there alright… armed to the teeth, like the rest of his soldiers. And he’s not your brother.»

And just like that, clarity: they were trying to turn her against her own family.

After all, why torture and kill her, risking to trigger a war in the process, when they could bend her mind with those horrible lies and pit her against her loved ones? That got them all the information they could ever desire, even more than what they could get with an interrogation, along with a valuable asset to use against the Throne of Thorns, to hit her siblings where it’d hurt the most.

Had this been their plan all along? Torment her with cruelty and drive her mad with kindness, to the point that she would just jump into their arms at the slightest bit of love and affection, too love-starved and terrified out of her mind to question it?

She felt her blood turn to ice in her veins.

By the Seven, it had almost worked, she realized with horror, thinking back at how she had longed for Zoe’s embrace, for Kaze’s touch – had they been in on the plan to? Oh, but of course they were in on the plan. 

It had been all a lie, a spiderweb of false promises spun to bind her, traps of kindness to drive her mad. Of course they didn’t really care about her. They had healed the wounds someone else had caused by dragging her in the mud because it was their job.

It would be their job to restrain her, now – because of course they’d sentence her to death now that they knew their horrible trick hadn’t worked on her, of course they’d torture her now. It was only natural that it fell to them to bind her, gag her, throw her in the dirt so that their Prince could tower over her.

The energy pulsing through her body seemed to ignite as the pressure on her head increased and made her grit her teeth, and she felt his razor-sharp gaze cut her open – and she felt his hatred.

That hatred was her only hope, she realized. This was the time, the time to make him snap. The time to die.

He would probably lunge for the sword strapped to his brother’s side, to rip it from him, longing to bury it hilt-deep into her chest, right through her heart. It was going to burn, she realized, it was going to hurt.

But it would be quick. And it was her best chance.

Her best chance to keep her siblings safe.

Xander. Camilla. Leo. Elise.

Something warm glided over the raw energy that had become her skin, and she felt herself shatter. She laughed.

 

She laughed, and Zoe felt her blood freeze in her veins when she heard something that shouldn’t have been in a laughter: defeat.

She turned to Kaze, alarmed by the twisted smile that was slowly creeping on Ileana’s lips, and she could see the same alertness in his eyes – he, too, had seen, he, too, could feel his hair stand on end as the same energy they had sensed in the baths seemed to writhe in the very air around them.

It wasn’t uncommon in mages. When emotions took over, their magic reacted by overcharging their bodies and warping their auras, affecting everything around them. Zoe had thought that Ileana had already discharged the excess of magic in the baths, when the water in the pools had reacted to her outburst and had soaked both the girls – though the Princess hadn’t even realized what had happened. But now it was horribly clear that the energy coursing just under Ileana’s skin was still unstable and _of course_ it was, Zoe mused as she took in the shaking hands of the mage: Ileana hadn’t been able to tap into magic for _days_ , and who knew what nightmares had spawned in her mind, in the bowels of that darkness…

She should warn Ryoma, or the Queen: they didn’t seem aware of how close to snap Ileana was, of how all the information they were forcing down on her were pushing her to her limits.

«You’re liars. All of you.»

Zoe jumped and whirled her head around just in time to see the cruel smirk on the Nohrian Princess’ lips, to see her bare her teeth like she had done before, to catch that flash of triumph on Takumi’s dark face.

«Did you really think I’d fall for it?!»

**_—Crack!_ **

The tea set so prettily laid out on the table splintered, and Lady Mikoto started. She reached out to Ileana, but the girl jerked back as if dodging a slap.

«Ileana, jus—» the Queen tried to soothe, but was met with a strangled snarl.

Zoe brought her hand to her sword, tearing her eyes away from the Princess to take in the situation as a whole: Ryoma looked caught off guard, Lady Mikoto was obviously startled, and Takumi… _Takumi looked ready to pounce_.

Zoe shot a glance at Kaze, whose expression was as blank as ever – but his muscles were tense: he was ready to intervene, though it didn’t look like he was about to draw a weapon…

«You won’t use me against my family.»

Ileana stood up, shaking terribly, and it became obvious to Ryoma and the Queen as well just how exhausted she was: she looked like she was about to shatter, a deranged light in her green eyes and terror carved in her face.

«You disgust me, you and your mind games…»

When Ileana circled the table just to stop next to Mikoto and right in front of Takumi, Zoe almost screamed.

_She had to do something._

Takumi wasn’t going to hold back. Takumi was smirking. Takumi was going to…

And then Ileana addressed him directly, and Zoe clearly heard both despair and poison in her voice.

«Happy now, Princeling? Go on. Won’t you make good on the threats you made and rape me in front of mommy dearest?» she moaned, her hand reaching out to leave a horrible, morbid caress on the Queen’s cheek, her harsh words expanding in the room and almost shattering the reassuring mask Lady Mikoto was trying to maintain.

…he had _what_?

Zoe turned to Kaze, shocked – and then, the crystal table exploded and shattered in a million pieces, and everything happened too quickly to prevent it.

«Die already!» Takumi roared, mad with fury. 

«Takumi!» Ryoma called him back as he jumped to his feet – but it was already way too late.

Zoe and Kaze leapt when Ileana’s shriek rang even higher than the shattering crystal.

Takumi lunged for the Princess, a vicious growl rumbling in his throat. Ileana took a step back as she stared in horror at his hands, held out to grab her, and she fell – and if he touched her, if he got those hands on her…

_No._

Zoe had made a promise, and she intended to keep it.

She dashed past the Princess – Kaze was right behind her, she was sure he’d help her up, keep her safe – and threw herself at Takumi: she was faster than him, nimbler than him, so it wasn’t hard at all for her to catch the hand was longing to curl around Ileana’s neck. She twisted it harshly, pulling a yelp of pain from him when she used his own momentum to spin him around, his arm trapped against his back, and push him as far as possible from herself and the Princess.

Her hands flew to her katana, the blade slipping more than a few inches out of its sheathe, her knees bent as she braced herself for any reaction but never abandoning her place – not even when Takumi turned with an enraged snarl after regaining his balance.

There was nothing, nothing at all of her beloved little brother in that face warped by rage. So there had to be nothing of her heart either: Zoe pulled her ears back, pursed her lips and sharpened her eyes, allowing her training to take over her body, to erase all shock and confusion from her mind.

«Out of the way!» the Prince attacked her, striding forward and coming to a stop only when he was a hair’s breadth from Zoe’s face.

She stood her ground, steadfast and unshakable, her thoughts clear and rational while possible counters rapidly ran through her mind. «No.» she stated, brushing off his anger and the mad glint in his eyes, baring her teeth at him when he saw the tremble in his hands – as if he wanted to hit her, as if he was straining not to do to her what he wanted to do to the Princess she had chosen to protect.

«This is an order, Zoe!»

Something screeched deep in her, but she pushed it from her mind. She squared her shoulders and moved her sword hand higher on the hilt of her blade, getting ready to block an attack that seemed inevitable…

But a red-gloved hand clamped down on Takumi’s shoulder, pulling him back violently.

«ENOUGH!» roared Ryoma, and time itself stood still.

Zoe unconsciously relaxed, feeling relief flood her as she watched the High Prince drag his younger brother away from them, stepping between him and the Samurai just like she had stepped between him and the Princess.

She dared shoot a quick glance behind her, taking advantage of Ryoma’s bulk shielding her: Ileana was in tears, shaking, nestled against Kaze’s chest. He was rocking her gently, murmuring soothing nothings in her ear with that reassuring voice of his.

«You promised… you promised to…» she was sobbing, her fingers clawing at sleeves of the arms arms curled around her, shining tracks on her cheeks.

Zoe could barely hear her over the excuses and the reproaches that Takumi and Ryoma were deafeningly yelling at each other.

«Children!»

Silence fell.

Lady Mikoto had stood and had addressed her sons, making them go quiet with just one word, her voice lined with steel for the first time since Zoe could remember: both the Princes eyed her, caught off guard, momentarily forgetting everything else. Ileana’s muffled crying was the only sound left in the room.

«Not now.» the Queen added, her eyes fixed on them until Ryoma recovered and pushed Takumi into the farthest corner of the room, ignoring his protests as he dragged him by the collar of his jacket. «I’m sure this is nothing but a huge misunderstanding.»

No, Zoe would have liked to argue, there was no misunderstanding.

Takumi had tortured Ileana, he had locked her up to rot in a dark cell, he had insulted her and threatened her with something so revolting, Zoe didn’t even want to think about. There was nothing to misunderstand: everything was sharp and clear as crystal, and for a second she found the Queen’s attempt to get the situation under control extremely irritating.

That was her daughter… she should have gotten mad, screamed, done something! She should have yelled at Takumi, thrown him out and forbidden him from ever stepping in the same room with Ileana again!

Zoe gritted her teeth, but kept her feelings carefully hidden when Lady Mikoto turned to them and took a step towards Kaze, towards Ileana.

«Sweetie?» she called her softly, but Zoe only heard a slightly louder sob coming from the bundle of tears the Master Ninja cradled in his arms.

«Please… please, I just want to go home…» she repeated and repeated, chanting those words with so much sorrow that anyone with an inch of compassion would feel their heart shatter.

«Mother! Please, don’t get so close!»

Zoe bared her teeth, hardly holding back a snarl of her own as her eyes threw daggers at Takumi.

How dared he? How could he?! He should be cowering now, ashamed of himself, he should be keeping his stupid mouth shut and hoping that he never came across her all alone because Gods, she was dying to make him experience a tiny taste of what he had done to that innocent girl – to his _little_ _sister_ …

Lady Mikoto just smiled a sad, tortured smile, and Zoe could see the pain in it when she turned to look at her son.

«My darling Takumi, she isn’t dangerous. Only scared.» she cooed, and then took another step towards the Princess. «Sweetie?» che called again, but Ileana only pressed herself against Kaze as if she could disappear in his embrace, as if his arms were her only refuge in the living nightmare she had been thrown in.

«No! Don’t touch me! Stay away!» she shrieked, and Zoe couldn’t help but step closer, trying to be as near as she could without that Ileana perceived her as a threat.

Lady Mikoto hesitated, then exchanged a quick look with the Master Ninja.

«I won’t. Don’t worry, it’s alright.» she murmured, her voice even and soothing, sounding very close to a reassuring lullaby. «Please, breathe. You have nothing to fear. Nothing will happen to you, I swear it. You are under my protection.»

Ileana dared glance at the Queen, and Zoe almost wish she didn’t: she looked crestfallen, pale beyond belief, her eyes swollen and bloodshot because of the tears she seemed unable to stop, and her lips trembled in a way that made her stutter.

«Come, why don’t you sit on one of the chairs?»

«Lady Mikoto.»

Zoe heard those words, heard the firmness in that voice, and she thought it had been Kaze to utter them. Only when the Queen looked at her, her eyes showing how disheartened she was in spite of the smiling mask she was wearing, Zoe realize that it had been her to speak up, to step in, to stop the Queen before she could coax Ileana into complying.

Lady Mikoto didn’t react at that, even though she could have very well taken the Samurai’s interference as an offense – but no, she just laid a hand on top of the hers and squeezed delicately. Zoe tensed under her touch.

«Don’t worry, Zoe. I won’t hurt her.» she soothed, but the girl turned to glare at the two Princes, at Takumi who managed to glower right back, even if Ryoma was keeping him trapped in that corner, restricting what he could see.

«But he will.» she deadpanned, those words burning her throat like blistering embers.

Without another word, without another look at the Queen, Zoe strutted and came to a stop in the chokepoint created by the furniture between Ileana and the Princes – so that if the royal idiot freaked out again and somehow eluded his older brother’s grasp, she could stop him before he so much looked at the Princess.

She felt the weight of Mikoto’s gaze on the back of her neck, heard the heavy sigh that slipped from her, but she refused to turn – even when Kaze accompanied Ileana to one of the stuffed chairs and helped her curl on it. She didn’t need to watch all of that, she needed to watch _him_ , his fury, to make sure she could keep him from doing something horribly stupid.

«Ileana… I know how shocked you are. This must be very hard for you.»

Finally, Zoe grumbled quietly, _finally_ someone noticed that Ileana needed to rest, to recover, before any more information could be dumped on her… Gods, why had they thought that telling her like that was a good idea? Lady Mikoto’s daughter or not, she had grown up away from them, in another kingdom, with another family – how was it possible that Zoe herself, who had prayed for her return for years and years, had been the one to see how delicate the situation was?

«Please, tell me what I can do to help you through this.» Lady Mikoto pressed, using the same even gentle voice Reina used to rein in Katsu whenever he shied in battle.

«I… I want to speak with Xander.» Ileana implored, so weak and exhausted that Zoe could feel Kaze’s face grow darker. «I want my brother.»

_Her brother_ … Zoe bit the inside of her cheek, taking a deep breath to calm down. Of course she wanted her brother. Had she been in her place – and had _he_ been himself and not a heartless beast – Zoe would have wanted her brother too, the one she had called brother all her life…

«Then I’ll send for him at once.»

As that declaration rang in the air, Zoe felt a different pair of eyes settle on her, making the atmosphere in the room shift. Zoe dared glance back, her own eyes widening in disbelief at the relief and the gratitude she could see in the green irises of the Princess as they stared at her. She smiled at her, even though it made it painful for her heart to beat, because Ileana deserved nothing but kindness after all they had put her through.

«Orochi?»

Zoe caught sight of the door sliding open as her mother slipped in the room. Hidden in the shadows behind her, her trained eyes made out the sharp, alarmed features of Kagero and Saizo, rapidly retreating.

«My dear, do you have one of your scrolls with you? I’d like to send a message to King Garon this instant.» the Queen requested.

«Of course!» Orochi nodded, rummaging in the bag she always kept close at hand until she pulled out a roll of parchment that Zoe knew to be imbued with magic, a quill and an inkwell. 

Her mother then walked towards the Queen, brushing Zoe’s arm with a touch as delicate as a breeze while she passed her.

_Gods, how she needed a hug from her mom._

Zoe gritted that teeth at that thought, chasing it away along with the tears that stung her eyes: that wasn’t the time to dwell on such things. People needed her, _Ileana_ needed her, and she wouldn’t fail her.

She had promised her.

«Here you go!» the Onmyoji chimed once everything was laid out for the Queen, and then went to stand right next to Kaze.

«Wonderful.» Lady Mikoto thanked her with a nod. «Ileana, can I sit on the floor next to you? I’d like for you to read as I write.»

Zoe stiffened and only held her tongue because Ileana herself found the voice to answer: «I… um, sure. That’s… that’s fine.»

«Thank you.»

For a while, the only noise in the room was that of the quill scratching the parchment and the faltering breath of Ileana. Zoe focused on that, on that raw panting and on the occasional sniffle the Princess couldn’t muffle – because if she let her mind wander on anything else, she’d never manage to keep her composure.

She stood still, all but hanging onto her sword – her only certainty in a world that had suddenly shifted, jeopardizing everything she had always considered as sure as the land she walked on: Takumi had lost himself, the Queen was barely holding herself together, Ryoma didn’t know what to do… and where were all the fears that had haunted her on the way to Suzanoh?

Zoe frowned, confused.

She hadn’t even thought about that up to that moment, desperate as she had been to fix the damage Takumi had done. She hadn’t even thought that she was finally before the child she could barely remember, but had fought for for so many years.

She had expected her old obsession to resurface before Ileana. She had expected to have to fend off the crippling echo of the insults lining the noble brats’ words to put her back to her place – beneath them. She had expected to have to call on the strength and the determination she had forged day after day after day of sweat, and blood, and tears, and instead…

…nothing.

Lady Mikoto’s pleased sigh forced her to postpone her musings. «Would you like me to add something on your behalf? So that they know you’re safe?»

«I don’t—» Ileana hesitated, and Zoe had to hide a small smile: she was sure that Ileana was trying to come up with something that only her brothers could decipher, striving to reason through the jumble her thoughts had turned into. «Just… could you tell him that when he gets here, we’ll go and watch the stars? Like we promised?»

That, more than anything else, broke Zoe’s heart.

Ileana just wanted to go home. She hadn’t meant for the disaster she was in to happen, had done nothing to make it happen… she just wanted to return to the only family she had ever known.

Zoe squeezed her eyes shut, shunning the disgust on Takumi’s face and the sorrow on Ryoma’s. Something new – a new objective, a new hope, a new fight – grew within her, blowing everything else away: no matter how, no matter what, she would return Ileana to her family, safe and sound.

What did it matter that she was to born Hoshidan? Lady Mikoto hadn’t raised her, Ryoma and the others weren’t her siblings, even Zoe herself was nothing but a stranger – and how could it have been any different? Ileana had never been told of the Cheve Incident, of King Sumeragi, of the trap set by the Obsidian King – of the screams Zoe still felt burning her throat when her little sister had been taken from her arms? 

Ileana deserved to return to the place she loved, to the place she called home, to those she called her family.

…and maybe, once all that mess would be sorted out, she could come visit Shirasagi, once in a while. Maybe Zoe wouldn’t be forced to say goodbye so soon. Maybe Ileana would be back, and maybe the disaster Takumi had made would be fixed, and maybe everything would be well.

But it didn’t matter now.

All that mattered now was making Ileana feel safe. She hoped that Crown Prince Xander came quickly, so that the terror and the dejection those days had carved on Ileana’s face could become a memory.

«Of course.» she heard Lady Mikoto agree as she scratched more words on the parchment, that shone with magic after she was done – a promise kept. «There we go. The King should have already received it. I assume you felt the spell’s completion?» she wondered.

Ileana only gave a small nod in response.

«You must be a very gifted mage.» the Queen praised her sweetly, but Ileana didn’t react – Gods, she had to be so tired… «Now, if it’s alright with you, I’d like to go back to Shirasagi while we wait for your brother’s answer. We’ll be more comfortable there, and it will be easier for you to recover for your journey back to Nohr.»

Zoe turned around at that, blessing that final note she had heard in the Queen’s voice. She just wanted to get out of there, to get Ileana some place safe where she could rest – and it looked like Kaze too had had enough of that mess, judging by his expression.

«But… I don’t…»

She sighed. Of course Ileana wouldn’t want to go to Shirasagi. She was wondering why they couldn’t just stay there, wait for her brother there at Suzanoh. Zoe could agree: Shirasagi wasn’t a good place for her, not with everything the return of the lost Princess would set in motion…

«Milady.» Kaze left the spot where he had stood rooted in, right next to the stuffed chair where Ileana had curled, and went to kneel in front of her, finding Hotoke knew how the strength to smile at her. «You really need some time to heal.»

«I…» Ileana looked at Zoe in confusion, and she smiled back as well, though she couldn’t say she liked that idea any better than how she had liked the one to get the Princess to speak with the Queen right away – and they all could see how that had turned out… «Um, alright.»

«Great.» Lady Mikoto stood slowly, very much aware that any sudden movement could shatter whatever semblance of control Ileana had managed to gather back. «Now, I’d say you’re quite due some rest. Kaze, Zoe?» she called, smiling tiredly at the retainers. «Might I ask to escort Ileana to one of the rooms in the residential wing?»

«Il will be our pleasure.» Zoe nodded while Kaze helped Ileana to stand, letting her cling to him because any strength to walk was beyond her at that point, and it was painfully clear.

«Right this way, Lady Ileana.» she heard him murmur as they passed her, noticing the soothing circles his hand was drawing on her back.

«A moment, please.»

Zoe jumped, not at all prepared for the deep voice that called them back.

Ryoma had stepped close to stop them looking disquieted but apologetic. «There’s a question that I must ask you, Ileana.»

«Ryoma, don’t.» Zoe grumbled, annoyed, under her breath, but bit her tongue when she realized what she had just done – Gods, she really couldn’t help but talking back at bloody royalty today, could she?! «She’s had enough. Let her rest.» she added, trying to apologize with her eyes but refusing to stand down, firmly planted between the High Prince and Ileana.

«I am sorry, but this cannot wait any longer.» he replied calmly – apparently, he had forgotten that she had no right to address him like that, or any of his family for that matter. He approached Kaze. «Ileana?» he called, waiting for her to give him her attention. «Would you please tell me happened at the Bottomless Canyon.»

Zoe had to silence her snarl, because that was really pushing too far, and she took a step to stand next to the High Prince – maybe seeing her there would help Ileana not to freak out, since Ryoma didn’t exactly look the reassuring part if you didn’t know him.

«I…» Ileana closed her eyes, trying to recall her memories in spite of her confusion, tightening her hold on Kaze’s arm to stand a little taller. «I never gave the order to engage. I only sent a few scouts ahead who were to check on the area and report. They were led by a veteran Berserker, and he was the only one who came back.»

«So you were never planning to attack?» Ryoma insisted, and Zoe really would have liked to kick him in the shins because those questions could have waited until when Ileana could stand on her own two feet.

_But maybe that was the point_ , something sly whispered in her mind.

Maybe Ryoma had decided to ask right there and then because it went unsaid that Ileana, exhausted as she was, would never be able to lie. Maybe he, too, had realized that she didn’t remember them at all and had simply been in the wrong place at the wrong time – and who knew what else was going on under that mane of hair. She was sure he had his reasons, but…

«No.»

That answer seemed to be all that Ryoma wanted. He smiled encouragingly, thanking the Princess briefly with a nod before straightening his back and turning so fast that Zoe was unable to catch the dark look on his face.

«Saizo, Kagero.» he called as he opened the door, so abruptly that Ileana jumped, and even Zoe started slightly in surprise.

The two ninjas materialized before their Prince, bowing deeply before granting their liege their full attention – oh, they had _definitely_ been listening in the whole time, Zoe thought, because even their blank masks couldn’t hide the pain in Kagero’s eyes and the coldness in Saizo’s.

Zoe paled as she carefully avoided the glare of the Master Ninja: unlike the Queen and the Princes, he seemed to be unforgivingly aware of the way she had repeatedly and blatantly challenged the royal authority – _oh, Gods, he was going to kill her, at the very least!_

  «Bring me my brother’s belongings.» Ryoma ordered, so imperiously that Zoe’s attention couldn’t help shifting back on him and away from the desolating punishment that Saizo was so going to inflict upon her as soon as they returned to Shirasagi.

Behind her, Takumi groaned. Zoe refused to turn, refused to mull over what that sound could mean… it was pretty obvious that the royal idiot was in for quite the scolding, judging by the controlled rage in High Prince’s seething voice, and she couldn’t find it in her to feel sorry for him.

«Hinata, Oboro.» he went on, ignoring his brother’s reaction. «You will wait here. I shall speak with you shortly.»

Zoe barely heard the «Yes, Lord Ryoma.» her two friends whispered – so they had heard everything too, she assumed. Ileana whimpered upon hearing the voices of Takumi’s retainers.

The Samurai’s ears flattened against her skull. That poor thing had to be so, so tired… oh, but why hadn’t Ryoma just let them go before getting started with his high-and-mighty tirade? Couldn’t he see how in dire need of rest she was?!

«Zoe.» he finally, _finally_ called her, when she was just about to snap and snarl at him for his very, very indelicate lack of sympathy.

«Oh, good, you’re done.» she grumbled as she passed him, but Ryoma only huffed a half-hearted laugher and smiled bittersweetly at her glare.

Zoe rolled her eyes.

Kaze stopped to bow his head at the High Prince before finally stepping out of the room and into the emptied hallway. Zoe exited right after him, and a new pang of pain made her heart falter when she reached to close the sliding door behind her – and she was glad that her hearing was sharper than anyone’s, than Ileana’s: at least the Princess wouldn’t have to hear the unbearable, agonizingly loving voice of Lady Mikoto uttering those few bleeding words.

«Sleep tight, my sweet child.»

 

* * *

 

The doors of the inner rooms of Suzanoh didn’t look solid, not at all, not compared to the outside of the fortress. Zoe toyed with the idea of ripping at least a couple out of their hinges: it wouldn’t be hard, thin and light as they were… but it wouldn’t be satisfactory, not even to vent her anger – and the Gods knew she needed to vent that anger clouding the edge of her vision, making everything blurry and tinted black and red.

Her feet clacked heavily against the floor, but noise was the last of her concern – she wanted to make noise, she wanted to break something in order to still her trembling hands. But she knew that shrieks and thuds would only stir Ileana right awake – and she had only just managed to fall asleep…

She had just left her. She and Kaze had brought her to one of the most secluded, comfortable rooms of the fortress, and they had pulled down the wooden shutters enough to keep the Sun out but not enough to plunge the room in utter darkness, lest it remind her of the dungeons – Kaze’s thinking. They had stayed with her until her tears hadn’t given way to exhaustion, with the help of the the mild sleep-inducing elixir prepared by the Master Ninja to help her get some much needed rest.

Kaze was a gods-send.

Zoe had barely been able to rein herself in, she had acted out of instinct, and she had probably caused more issues than she cared to count… but Kaze had kept his head from day one – ever since that whole mess had begun at the Bottomless Canyon, during the whole journey. He had never left Ileana, had managed to get Hinata to step in whenever Takumi crossed any line, had disguised himself in the shadows to keep her company in the dungeons. And even now, he was right at her side, quietly watching over her sleep.

He was a much better person that Zoe could ever hope to be, and she was grateful for that. The Princess was safe with him – safe from fear and harm alike, and that was the only reassurance Zoe could cling to to remind herself to breathe.

She was painfully aware that right there and then, with everything that had happened over that long day rattling in her head, she was probably too restless to keep watch like that. Kaze himself had suggested that she went and walked off some steam, promising her to guard the Princess’ sleep and that no one would fault her for taking a stroll – and she had listened to him gladly, because as soon as Ileana’s eyes had fluttered close, as soon as she had sighed deeply as she passed out curled up into the pillow they had arranged for her, everything had come crashing down on Zoe’s shoulders, making her hands turn to ice and her brain turn to jelly.

She was just reacting badly to the break in the tension, that was all. Now she just had to finally let herself drop her guard and calm down, because all of that anger was making her thoughts swirl in a frenzy. Granted, she had always had a volatile temper, but the fury still coursing through her veins was something different – she had never felt her hands tremble like that, never felt that maddening, outraged roar echo in her chest before.

Maybe she should just go and look for Saizo. Maybe a scolding session was be what she needed to forget about the snarling beast trying to claw its way out of her throat.

…or maybe that would just anger her more, because there was absolutely nothing of what she had done that she regretted, not even a little bit.

She had done the right thing.

She had protected an innocent, and that was all she cared about. She had already realized that she would have acted in the exact same way even if the Queen hadn’t recognized Ileana for who she was: there was no way she would have let the beast that seemed to have possessed Takumi have its way with anyone.

_Takumi had lost himself._

That was the only thing that could make sense, the only reason that could explain a situation devoid of all logic and rationality: Takumi, _her_ Takumi, was missing somehow, and a cruel, angry monster had taken on his appearance. That had to be it.

…it would have been so easy to believe that that blissful lie was the truth – but no, the truth was much harder to deal with, and she wasn’t sure she could take it. 

He had tried to kill his own little sister.

Worse: he had tried to kill her under his mother’s shocked eyes, in front of the brother he looked up to – in front of her, of the young woman whom he had told that… only a few hours before, he had told her he wished that…

Zoe shook her head, still chewing on the inside of her cheek, ignoring the bitter taste of blood when her own teeth breached her skin. She shouldn’t be thinking of the words that Takumi had said before escorting her to Ileana, before everything came undone. It was much easier to focus on the disappointment she felt as she contemplated what he had done to the Princess – that was a righteous anger, that she was more than entitled to feel. Had she considered anything else, like how afraid she had been of Takumi when he had glared at her, she knew she wouldn’t be able to ignore just how badly his words and actions hurt.

And she really didn’t have to time to whine. She had so many more important things to do.

She sighed and rubbed her eyes tiredly. She looked around, trying to understand where her nervous wanderings had brought her: every corridor and room there looked just like any other corridor or room of the fortress. She wouldn’t be surprised to notice that she had returned to the drawing room where it had all happened – and to think that all that family drama would have been so easy to avoid…

Now that she thought of it, it really seemed like she wasn’t too far from the room. But before she could decide whether to turn back or keep going to check if Ryoma was still spouting reproaches, thundering steps tolled on the steep walls and their owner appeared at the end of the corridor.

_…oh, she really should have gone looking for Saizo._

Takumi was walking with the same angry, noisy stomps that had brought her there. He hadn’t even realized there was someone else close by, busy as he was muttering something incomprehensible under his breath, his eyes glued to the floor and his hands fisted at his sides.

Had Zoe been any calmer, she would have just disappeared in the shadows, allowing him to pass without noticing her and postponing any argument, but…

_…but she simply couldn’t shake Ileana’s terrified eyes from her mind._

A curious, unfamiliar sound rumbled in her throat, but it was only when she noticed that she was baring her teeth and pulling her ears back that she realized she was growling. 

The shock almost froze her in place: sure, she had always been quite wild, but wasn’t growling slightly too much even for her?

She swallowed, trying to ignore that sudden need to vent her frustration in such an animalistic way. She was a _person_ and she should act as one, wanted to act as one – she wasn’t a wild beast!

«Zoe?»

She heard her patience shatter when his voice reached her quivering ears.

«You.» she snarled, and she could feel that burning rage taking over her, blinding her for a short, infinite heartbeat before she snapped back to her senses enough to take in Takumi’s frustrated expression.

Takumi snorted, oblivious to the intense fury that had washed over her, rolling his eyes and stopping only a few steps away from her. «Look, I really don’t feel like arguing with you too, so—»

Zoe gritted her teeth.

«You can shove your ‘so’ up your ass!» she grunted, fisting her hands in her pockets to keep herself from hitting him. She ignored the offense on his face as her harsh words hit him. «Tell me you’ve gone mad. Tell me you’ve taken a blow to your head and you’ve forgotten that you’re a decent human being.»

Part of her was longing to hear him say just that, say that _yes_ , he had lost himself to anger, that he was back now and that he was feeling terrible, that he was going to spend his life trying to make amends… but her hopes were shattered when Zoe looked up at him, and saw no hints of remorse nor regret in his uncharacteristically cold bronze eyes.

_Those eyes weren’t his own, and they scorched her._

«I only did what I had to do.» he stated briskly, looking her over with such scorn and pity that he made her feel filthy.

A sound that had much in common with the growl she had barely suppressed rumbled in her throat. She didn’t realized she had moved, but suddenly his face was inches from hers – and there was nothing in that face that could remind her of the young man she adored.

«What you had to do was act like yourself, and not like… like a monster!»

She was screaming now, hysterically, but she couldn’t help it. She just wanted Takumi to return to his senses, to realize what a horrible beast he had been with Ileana, to see how many lines he had crossed and would have crossed…

_Gods, it hurt so much to look at him and realize that there was nothing left of her beloved little brother._

Takumi just shrugged, pursing his lips. «That _dog_ deserved no bett—»

That did it.

«KNOCK IT OFF!»

She lunged for him faster than lightening – faster than she ever thought she could be – without even realizing it. She felt her arm move as if with a will of its own: her muscles coiled, her elbow bent, her fingers curled… and then her fist slammed hard right into Takumi’s face.

**_—Crack!_ **

«HEY!» he yelped in pain, incredulous.

Zoe had already jumped back, avoiding the spatters of blood and regaining the balance her attack had thrown off.

«You hit me!» he snarled furiously, blood dripping from his nose and down the back of his hand.

«And I’d love to hit you again! I’m mad at you enough to hit you all day long!» she spat as she brushed a few drops of his blood from her knuckles with a purr in her chest that resembled satisfaction.

_She had hit him. She had seriously hit him!_

Before he could say anything – before she could dwell on what she had just done – she stepped right in front to him again, squaring her shoulders and standing tall. Takumi’s alarmed, confused eyes bore into hers.

«Did she deserve to be humiliated?» she growled, feeling on her tongue the same poison that had dripped from Ileana’s desperate insinuations to keep him at arm’s length. «Did she deserve to be threatened?»

Threatened with such unforgivable things that the only idea of them would brand her, making it impossible for her to forget.

«Did she deserve to rot alone in the darkness?»

In a hole in the stone with no light and little food and water, where hallucinations and reality blended in one living nightmare.

What kind of person would that to an _innocent_?

«Did she really, Takumi?»

Nobody, _nobody_ deserved to go through something like that… except, perhaps, for the monsters Saizo had told her about and shown her all those years ago – the slavers, those horrid perverts that kidnapped children. But those weren’t people.

>  “ _You’re too kind for your own good._ ”

Those distant words, that belonged to a past so close and yet too far to be anything but an etherial echo, resonated in her mind.

They had been Ryoma’s, months ago. He had been answering an objection she had made about a draft of a treaty to be signed with the southern Principality of Mokushu. Ryoma had been kind enough to let her read it out to him after catching her snooping around his documents – again.

He had patiently explained the reasons behind the strict demands that had made Zoe grimace. Yet even though she could see the strategy behind them, they had still made her uneasy. She hadn’t been able to keep her thoughts from what it would cost to the commoners to meet those requests, even though it would mean greater stability for both Hoshido and Mokushu.

Sure, maybe she was too kind for her own good and may never learn to come to terms to the sacrifices that politics, wars and diplomacy required… but she wasn’t sure she wanted to change that.

Especially not if it meant becoming anything like Takumi.

The Prince’s groan brought her back to reality, to that young man who had always supported her in her crusade of always seeing the best in people, and found herself gazing at a stranger who had turned his back on everything remotely good she had always seen in him.

_Gods, what had happened to the Takumi she loved so much in so little time?_

«Unbelievable. You’ve barely met her and you’ve already turned your back to everyone who’s ever loved you.» Takumi spat angrily, hatefully, stepping away from her and averting his gaze. He ran the hem of a sleeve of his Sniper uniform over his face, wiping away the blood from his reddened, swollen nose. «I expected more from you.» 

Zoe refused to let that underhanded trick of his hurt her. She crossed her arms and held her head high, though having to stand up to him was turning out to be the most painful thing she had ever done. «So did I.» 

And only the Dawn Dragon knew how true that was, how excruciating it was finally see the grin of the beast that for all those years had lurked behind Takumi’s smile, how disheartening it was knowing she hadn’t been able to stop him because she hadn’t seen until it had been too late.

Ryoma had been right. Her kindness had blinded her.

«You make me sick.» she whispered, and they were the most difficult words she had ever uttered. She could hear her own heart break in the hollowness of her voice.

Yet, it didn’t matter. She could take it, she had to take it because she had to find a way to face him, the monster inside of him and make him see reason, bring him back…

But Takumi smiled, smiled that venomous, all-teeth smile he had flashed to Ileana, his eyes burning with the bloodlust Zoe had seen when she had stepped in his way. She wanted to run, now, to run and hide as far as possible from that stranger that could make her hurt so much with just a smile.

But she couldn’t. No, she wouldn’t run, she wouldn’t – couldn’t – give up on him.

«You know what? Now that you’ve got your liege, why don’t you start acting like the servant you are and shut that trap once and for all?»

But she couldn’t help thinking that had she run, at least she wouldn’t have had to hear that.

Takumi had to see her face turn white, had to see her hopes wither in her eyes, her heart turn to ice. He stepped back immediately, a hand flying to his mouth as if he couldn’t believe his own words. His face turned white, too, his eyes grew wide with horror.

«No… wait, I didn’t…»

Had Zoe been able to hear the pain in his voice – in that voice she knew so well – or to see him, she would have finally found the gentle little brother she had been searching for so desperately.

But Zoe couldn’t hear him and couldn’t see him, trapped as she was in her own, dark pain. 

Her thoughts had flown back to the sweet memories of those two young children that used to fall asleep against each other, to train with each other using wooden swords, to pour their hearts out to one another and had promised that they were going to face whatever scary future together.

She would have liked to turn back time, to reach out to that child and tell her to run away from him, to protect her from the pain that would come to claim her heart – at the hands of that boy with silver hair who had promised to love her forever.

_A servant._

Was that really what he thought of her?

She gritted her teeth, wincing when a lance of pain shot through her mouth and made her realize that she had bitten her cheek open again. She tasted blood on her tongue, and for a second that steely taste was all she could think of. It distracted her long enough to get a hold of herself, to keep her tears from rolling down her cheeks. 

«Zoe, please, wait—»

_No_.

She couldn’t stay. She didn’t want to crumble in front of him, she didn’t want him to see how much his words had hurt her… and how much they had hurt the two retainers that had just appeared, side by side, at the end of the same hallway he had come from.

Hinata and Oboro had had just about the worst of timings. The Master of Arms’ eyes had widened and his mouth had fallen open, while all color had drained from the Spear Master’s face. The insult Takumi had spat to Zoe affected all those who had sworn the oath of the retainer, making their liege their reason to live.

They weren’t servants.

Being a retainer wasn’t a burden. It was an honor, a title they all bore with pride. She wasn’t about to let him defile that honor, nor to wound any farther those two warriors who had laid their lives down at his feet.

«Congratulations.» she forced out, her stutters gone as she latched onto Hinata’s crestfallen eyes, onto his presence, onto the hope of running into his arms to soothe at least a little the pain Takumi had just caused him. «You managed to hurt the only two people willing to put up with you.» she stressed, trying to make herself sound stronger than she felt, trying to keep at bay everything and focus only on the broken silver gaze of her best friend.

She could take that pain… but Hinata and Oboro didn’t deserve to go through it. She had to be strong, for them. And for them – for Hinata – she wouldn’t cry.

She felt a vicious smile stretch on her lips, much to her own surprise: she didn’t think she had it in her. She took advantage of that moment of courage and stepped right up to him, poking his chest so harshly that he actually took a step back.

«You know, you’re right. I think that as soon as Lady Ileana wakes up I’ll ask her to accept my oath to be her retainer. And I really do hope that her first request will be to kick you so hard, you won’t know what hit you.» she stated, loud enough for Hinata and Oboro to hear.

«Zoe—»

Takumi motioned to take her hand, but she snatched ita way, snarling at him when his fingers brushed her own with the strength borrowed from the fury she could feel growling inside her chest.

«Don’t touch me! Don’t you dare!» she yelled, unable to keep her voice down, cradling her hand against her chest and glaring at him.

She stepped away from him, keeping at arm’s length and resisting the temptation of shoving him just because the thought of touching him was so disgusting, she didn’t even felt like hitting him anymore. She turned her back on him, and strutted towards Hinata and Oboro.

_She had to get out of there._

«You two!» she barked, seizing their arms as soon as she was close enough. «Since he wants to be left alone so badly, let’s leave him alone!» she stated as she dragged them away, down the corridor, farther and farther from the spot where Takumi still stood, frozen in place.

Hinata and Oboro allowed themselves to be led as far as possible from there, from Takumi, from the echo of those words that still hung in the air, suffocating them.

Only when Zoe deemed to be far enough, she let go of them and rushed to slam a window open. The cold winter Sun flooded the otherwise dark, narrow corridor. Zoe felt like she could finally breathe, filling her mind and her lungs with that chilly air that smelled like home.

_Home…_

She would have liked to be home, in that moment, away from that stupid fortress and from stupid Takumi and from the stupid sound of something splintering deep inside of her.

She closed her eyes, forcing herself to ignore her own anguish: she didn’t have the time to let her emotions break free from the mental cage she had locked them into. She would have time to cry, later, in the dead of night, unable to sleep until exhaustion took her… but now, there was someone who needed her.

It cost her to choke it all down and turn, schooling her face into composure to better take the blow of Hinata’s downcast eyes without falling to pieces all over again. That expression on his face was _wrong_. It made him look like someone else – someone else she didn’t recognize – and she felt that strange yet familiar growl rumble through her body once more.

«I’m sorry you had to hear that.» she apologized, her ears hanging downwards. «He didn’t mean you.»

No, he hadn’t meant them.

She gritted her teeth and struggled to breathe through them, trying to imitate the serene blank mask that Kaze was so good at putting on. Her concentration was shattered when Oboro snorted and rolled her eyes, making her jump.

«He shouldn’t have said it regardless.» the Spear Master hissed, with a grimace on her lips that Zoe couldn’t help but stare at.

«Oboro!» she exclaimed in surprise: she had known Oboro for quite a few years now, and she had never, ever uttered a single criticism nor anything remotely negative about Takumi. «Did you really say something vaguely reproachful about him?!»

Oboro crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. «Very funny.» she deadpanned. «I’m not blind, you know?»

Zoe forced a smile to stretch on her face, to turn her instinctive sneer into something more friendly: Oboro had never spoken a word against Takumi, not even when she should have… so hearing her say those words spoke volumes – and neither of them was ready to admit it. «You’ll forgive me if I had my doubts on that.» she retorted, with just one drop of irony seeping into her voice. «What did Ryoma want from you?» she then asked Hinata, remembering the orders the High Prince had issued earlier.

Hinata’s eyes dropped.

«Yell at us for not stopping Takumi from… from doing what he’s done.» he told her, sounding so dejected that the flatness of his voice made her stare at him – _Ryoma what?!_

«But it’s not your fault if he’s an idiot.» she protested, rolling her eyes when Oboro opened her mouth to excuse her lord’s behavior. «Yes, Oboro, he _is_ an idiot!» she barked at the Spear Master, more out of exasperation than out of rage – Oboro’s devotion to Takumi was actually admirable…

_…though he really didn’t deserve it._

She shook her head, shaking off that thought and sucking in a breath to continue with her insults. But the air was knocked out of her lungs when Hinata hugged her, tight and sudden in a way she didn’t remember him to be. He clung to her even more when Zoe sighed and hugged him back, letting him hide his face against her neck.

«I’m sorry.» he murmured, but Zoe shook her head and carded her fingers through those thick, wild brown hair.

«Like I said, it’s not your fault if he’s an idiot.» she groaned, getting a half-hearted laughter out of him while Oboro just huffed her annoyance.

«No, the High Prince is right.» Hinata held her a little more tightly, and she felt his lashes against the skin of her neck when he closed his eyes. «We… _I_ should have stopped him.»

Zoe tugged on his ear gently, reproachfully. «He wouldn’t have let you.» she sighed, feeling something twist unpleasantly at the pit of her stomach as she contemplated what would have happened if his friend had stepped between Takumi and Ileana. «He would have turned on you, and he would have been…»

…even worse than how he had been with her.

He had insulted her, forced her to talk back at him to get her point across twice, he had humiliated her in front of her friends and he had made her shame her tutors, her mothers, Ryoma and even the Queen with her behavior – and he had broken her heart.

She sighed, closing her eyes and breathing in the scent in that hair that was so unmistakably Hinata, drawing on the fond memories it brought back something to calm herself with as she had done time and time again.

«Well, he wouldn’t have been nice.»

They all kept silent for a second, feeling the weight of unsaid words hanging in the air.

Oboro was the first to speak up. «How’s the Princess?» she asked Zoe, nervously pushing back her dark blue hair. When the Samurai stared at her in surprise because of her show of concern, the Spear Master grimaced and ran fingers over the thin scratch on her forearm. «Oh, don’t give me that look! I would have stepped in, had I known of _those_ threats!»

Hinata nuzzled Zoe’s neck, distracting her enough to make her forget the barbed comeback on the tip of her tongue.

Oboro wasn’t lying, and they both knew it – as a woman, she could sympathize with the fear that had taken over the Princess, even if she was a Nohrian. However, they also knew that she hadn’t lifted a single finger the other many times when Takumi had crossed a line and, unlike Hinata, she didn’t feel guilty in the slightest. She herself had probably done her best to give the captive Princess a hard time…

…but she didn’t feel like getting in another argument now.

«The Princess is sleeping.» she answered, running her fingers through Hinata’s hair one last time before patting his shoulder to make him let go of her. «And I should go check on her.» she added when the Master of Arms’ silver eyes bore into hers.

He just nodded, leaning in to brush a soft kiss on her cheekbone, right on the only scar that had never faded from her skin.

«Stop by, later.» he whispered in her ear, ruffling her hair affectionately.

She giggled as she nodded: Hinata was one of her closest friends, and one of the people that knew her best in all of Hoshido. They could use some time by themselves, away from that mess of Princes, Princesses and Queens. The thought of a few hours to spend with him made her feel a much-needed warmth coursing through her.

Oboro groaned her discomfort out loud – to her credit, Zoe had to admit that she had lasted longer than usual.

«Oh for the love of the First Dragons, just kiss already!» Oboro clicked her tongue irritably, staring at them both and looking deeply offended.

«O-Oboro!» Hinata protested, blushing furiously and breaking out of Zoe’s hug to turn towards the Spear Master. «I told you to drop this!» he chided, clearly embarrassed by his partner’s insinuations.

Zoe found herself smiling, in spite of her weariness. There had been a time, a few years back, when kissing Hinata had been easy, when Oboro’s teasing hadn’t been misplaced at all.

But those kisses that tasted like summer where nothing but a memory and the warm, young love that had pushed them into each other’s arms was nothing but a faded mark on their skins. They had been two friends that had sought comfort in something more than friendship, and that had miraculously grown even closer when their little love story ended.

«I would drop it if you two weren’t so disgustingly cute!» Oboro remarked, relentless.

Zoe decided that Hinata could handle this on his own, as he had done in the past when Oboro decided to pester them about their long dead and buried past relationship – because he knew that if he were to leave it up to Zoe, a fist fight between the two young women was the only possible outcome.

She let herself fade in the shadows of the fortress, quiet as a ninja, stepping out of her friends’ sight and suppressing her laughter as she heard Hinata stuttering excuses to counter Oboro’s insinuations.

She turned, disappearing in the heavy darkness that lined the suffocatingly narrow corridors – and leaving behind what had happened between her and Takumi too, because she more important things to worry about right now: there was someone who needed her.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Prince’s succor -- The Princess awakens -- The ninja's release -- Ride on a kinshi bird -- The haunted room.
> 
> **A/N (Sept. 2, 2017):**  
>  All chapters previous to this one have been edited. Mostly it was for correcting mistakes, but a few minor changes have been made. While nothing major in the story has been altered, you'll probably want to reread them to get an improved grasp on the characters (the authors have come up with some things for the future chapters and/or preludes that required to be hinted at in the past chapters).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Welsh)_   
>  _A feeling of longing associated with displacement, but not necessarily displacement from one’s original home. An intense yearning to be somewhere you’re not. =_

❝ **Hiraeth** ❞

* * *

 

Obeying orders was easy. 

> _«Go take a look around.»_

Orders were precise, clear, and left very little room for misunderstandings. There weren’t any lines to cross because all that had to be done was stated in a handful of words. They required little thinking, and you could forget all about right and wrong for a while.

> _«Make sure that there is no one nearby, and take tabs on where the guards are stationed. Find out where the Princes are too.»_

Kaze had been precise, clear. He had given her detailed orders and Zoe had been all too happy to nod meekly, retrieve the sword she had set down near her as she kept watch and head out of the room – the room where she had spent the last few hours, making sure that Kaze’s light sleep went undisturbed, since it was the first decent shut-eye he allowed himself after days and days of constant vigilance.

> _«And should you meet Prince Takumi again, return to the shadows.»_

That had been the most important part of the orders. Being told what she was to do in that very specific, dreaded circumstance was the only comfort she had allowed herself to draw from Kaze’s presence, from the caring, soft voice he had used with her ever since she had returned from her previous patrol.

She had done well, she believed, all things considered.

She hadn’t cried, she hadn’t whined, she hadn’t breathed a word of what had happened. She had just sat down next to Kaze, ignoring the questions in his eyes as she went to change the medication on his hand – she recognized the friction burn immediately, but decided not to ask what had caused it.

Kaze hadn’t pressed her either, and she had taken advantage of his exhaustion to suggest him to rest as she kept watch. He had simply sighed and allowed her the space and the silence her absent eyes were craving – eyes that didn’t belong to the girl he had known all his life.

After taking one last anxious look at the Princess, still safely asleep in the golden dusk that hovered in the room, he allowed himself to settle into the soft armchair – a rare luxury for someone in his line of work – he had moved right in front of Ileana’s bed. And he had asked but one question.

> _«You had a fight with Prince Takumi, didn't you?»_

Yes, Zoe would have liked to snap. Yes, she had had a fight with Takumi, and yes, her heart laid in pieces because of him, because of the disgust she had seen in those eyes she thought she knew so well, because of the poison he had spat at her without any hesitation.

But she hadn’t. She had just nodded quickly, averted her eyes as she disposed of the worn, old gauzes and set her sword down, right at her side, as she sat in a corner from where she could see both door and window at the same time.

Only once Kaze’s eyes fell shut, once his breathing grew deeper and steadier – and only the Gods knew how she envied the ninjas’ ability to fall asleep at will – and once Ileana rolled on her side, Zoe had cried.

_Takumi_.

With her knuckles of one hand between her teeth to muffle herself and the nails of the other digging through her hair, with her knees pressed against her chest, she had finally cried all the tears she had forced herself to suppress in front of Takumi. She had let herself sink into the pain and the humiliation, allowing them to shatter her aching heart with their fury. She had stayed like that until the sharpness of those feelings had turned her into nothing – a blissful void of silence, where every echo of feel and sound and emotion reached her as if muffled.

It may be that Kaze hadn’t slept at all, she mused. Maybe he had just watched over her, sitting quietly, pretending not to hear her and not to see her, knowing that she needed to be alone. Zoe only showed her – many, too many – weaknesses when no one could see them. But if he had indeed heard anything, he hadnt' mentioned it when he had woken up. He had simply led her to the other room and had given her those few crisp instructions. She had accepted them without arguing and nodded before sinking in the shadows, growing ever longer in the late afternoon.

And there she was now, walking less quickly and less surely than usual, a hand resting just barely on the hilt of her katana and her eyes unfocused, her mind blank, a dull ache in her chest.

It still hurt.

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. Even as her body and mind felt unbearably tired, she didn’t seem to be able to shed that agony still quivering right beneath her skin – it was as if it had nestled in their muscles, making them twitch the way they did when she had nightmares. She could feel her pain coiled at the bottom of her stomach, and she knew it was going to linger there for days – nights. But at least, now she felt that she could control herself.

She wasn’t going to cry again.

She hated crying, hated showing weakness, hated having to deal with the fact that she was way too sensitive. Those dark hours of tears had to be the last she’d weep for him – she didn’t feel like whining anymore, not when it would only distract her from the many things she had to worry about.

The sound of a door sliding open had her jumping, making her tense her shoulders and pick up her ears.

«Zoe?»

_Ryoma_.

Zoe groaned, running her hands over her face as if her composure was a mask she could just slip on to hide her turmoil from him. She straightened her back and took a deep breath before turning to face the one person who always seemed to see past any attempt to hide her feelings from him.

There he was, the High Prince of Hoshido, on the threshold of what looked like a study – from what she could see at least. He wasn’t wearing his armor anymore, and Raijinto was crackling somewhere away from his hip. It was strange to see him like that, with his exhaustion showing through the bags under his eyes, as vulnerable as he could be – as she’d never seen him before.

It mustn’t have been an easy day for him either, she found herself thinking, distantly surprised by how her concern for his fatigue seemed to override her own weariness. She didn’t like seeing him like that – she had never liked it, and she felt a pang of frustration in her heart when she realized that there was nothing she could do to smooth those dark lines that had etched themselves on his brow, day after day and year after year.

«Yes?» she answered him, hating her own voice – it was so hoarse that anyone would notice she’d been crying, and by the Gods, Ryoma was the last person she wanted to see her like that.

«I was about to go looking for you.» he told her, and as soon as those dark green eyes roamed her face, Zoe realized she had failed to hide her troubled state from him just as much as he had.

Ryoma’s tired expression morphed into the worried one she was so familiar with, because she had seen him time and time again, throughout the years, ever since that night at the training grounds that now seemed to be lifetimes away. She looked away, unable to stand the softness in those eyes, so dear to her, more than she could ever tell him.

Zoe nodded, standing frozen when Ryoma slid the door shut behind him and stepped closer to her, avoiding his gaze – first Takumi, now him… those damned Princes really couldn’t leave her alone that day, could they?!

«I’d like to speak with Ileana, if she’s awake. Would you mind showing me in?» he asked, his brow furrowing when she just shrugged and nodded, uncharacteristically quiet.

«O-of course.» she accepted, almost against her will, hoping furiously that Ileana would still be asleep as she had left her an hour ago.

She fell in step next to him as they walked down the hallway, seemingly in no rush. He struck an imposing figure even in the oppressive corridors of Suzanoh, even without his glaring red armor on – and Gods, was it odd to see him without that peculiar horned mask of his.

Zoe looked at the ceiling, at the walls, at the floor – everywhere but at him, for she could already feel the weight of the questions he was about to ask her. She had to come up with something to distract him before that deep voice of his – she could already hear it – could ask her what had happened to turn her into a quiet shade of the person he knew. She didn’t feel like discussing the topic, not with him and not with anyone else.

«How—» she stopped, cleared her throat to rid her voice of its lingering weakness, tried again. «How’s the Queen?» she asked him, the woman’s tortured face flashing before her eyes.

Ryoma darkened at once, his hands curling into fists. «She’s still quite upset.»

Upset had to be an understatement, Zoe would have liked to snarl, but she held her comment back. Part of her would have _loved_ to stress just how easily Ileana’s breakdown could have been avoided if the royal family had been a touch more considerate, but she felt that the luck that had gotten her through every cheeky remark without getting punished was about to run out.

«It’s not been an easy day for anyone, has it?» she said casually, Ileana’s terrified eyes still vivid in her memory, along with Kaze’s weary face and her friends’ heartbroken expressions. «But you shouldn’t have taken it out on Hinata and Oboro.»

_…well, her luck could hold out a bit longer after all._

She ran her fingers through her hair, grimacing when they got caught in the many knots entangling her tresses. «Well, maybe Oboro deserved it a bit. But they didn’t do anything wrong.» she added, giving up on that pitiful attempt to fix her hair when Ryoma shot her a look she avoided to meet.

«They’re his retainers. Their duty is to protect him.» he explained in the same way he had often explained things to her whenever she had asked, ever the curious little girl. «Even from himself, if need be.» he added somberly.

However, Zoe snorted. «Well, they tried.» she retorted, more forcefully than she would have liked when she remembered what Hinata had recounted her – he had tried his best, but how could he have stopped Takumi? What would her friend have been put through for standing up to his Prince’s folly?

Her fingers clenched around her katana, feeling that monstrous lump of emotions heat up her blood once more. If Ryoma had yelled at Hinata and Oboro, what was he waiting for to yell at her too? After all, she had behaved a lot worse than her friends…

«Look, if you’re going to scold me just get on with it.» she snapped, stopping to finally face him… only to be met with his confused expression. «I know I made a mess of everything, but—»

«No.» Ryoma raised a hand, cutting off the flood of words that was about to spill from her lips.

He took a step closer, making it so hard for Zoe to remind herself to keep quiet, that acting brashly had already caused her enough trouble for the day. Zoe knew that Ryoma was a patient man, but that patience had to end at some point. And yet, as she looked at him, all she could see was the just, loyal man she had admired all her life, the man who had been nothing but loving and respectful… a man that didn’t seem angry, not in the least, she had to admit to herself as she stared in disbelief into those calm fern green eyes.

…why wasn’t he angry?

Ryoma’s lips curled into the ghost of a smile in front of the suspicious young Samurai. «You did what you believed was right. No more, no less.» he stated, his voice soft. «To be honest… you are the only one, today, who acted justly. You have done well.»

Zoe could feel her skepticism give way to surprise when she realized that the honest calmness in his voice mirrored the one in his eyes – he really meant what he said.

_She had done well._

She hadn’t realized how much she had needed him to say those words.

«…oh.» was all she could utter, shocked as she was.

She hadn’t expected him to say that. Actually, she hadn’t dared to hope that anyone would say anything remotely similar to that – because the reward for her actions had been nothing but stabs in the chest, so far. And yet, there he was: her certainty, her comfort, that glimmer of peace that not even crying her heart out had brought her. All of it was there, in those few syllables, few words, more precious to her than any glittering treasure.

_She had done well._

Those words were a balm for the seething wounds upon her heart. Zoe believed in them, and the anguished roar in her chest faded into silence, tamed by the soothing gentleness of his voice.

Zoe started slightly, suddenly aware of the very irritating heat – and probably bright red blush – gathering beneath the collar of her kimono. She huffed and crossed her arms, growing restless under his gaze – maybe she would have preferred a scolding over his praise after all.

«Why are you looking at me like that, then?» she grumbled, ignoring the lance of pain that shot through her chest when she realized how her skittish reaction to compliments made her look like Takumi.

Ryoma’s reply managed to distract her, as he frowned the way he did when he was about to say something that spelled trouble for her. «I am trying to understand how you are reacting to this.»

There. Now he had done it.

«Why is it always like this with you?» she snapped, unable to hold herself back and wishing she had put her fist in her mouth as soon as her words rang loud in the space between them. She barely bit back the curse about to fall from her lips when she realized he had managed to catch her off guard – _again_.

«I beg your pardon?»

Zoe decided to act as if there was no blush at all setting her cheeks aflame, choosing to wonder why Ryoma hadn’t asked her anything about Ileana before – that would have been better, that would have been normal. To be honest, with everything that had happened, she had been expecting a gush of questions about their little lost Princess, hours and hours of talk about how to better introduce her to Shirasagi…

And yet, he had only asked her of herself.

«You shouldn’t worry about me. I’m nothing special.» she muttered, staring at the floor so that the longer strands of her hair could fall over her face, feeling both embarrassed and resentful.

«I have told you a thousand times you’re wrong about that.»

Zoe bit her tongue, feeling the need to lash out, to remind him that – _Gods!_ – Ileana was back and she needed to be soothed and comforted too, that he should have asked about how she was feeling, at the very least; that he really, really should have stopped paying so much attention to a mere Samurai that wasn’t even royal retainer and treat her with the distance he should have always treated her with, but never had.

«I’m not and you know it, as your brother does.»

Oh, Takumi had been clear on how far apart they were as far as social ranks were concerned, indeed.

Ryoma sighed, running a hand over his tired eyes. «Ah, I see. What has he done?»

Zoe just shrugged. «Nothing.»

> _«Why don’t you start acting like the servant you are?»_

Zoe had heard that words so many times, she had stopped counting. The whispers of the gossip mongers of the nobility had haunted her shadow all her life, wondering why a mere soldier had been allowed so many privileges. They had traded smirk after smirk, labelling her a caretaker for baby Princess Sakura or a cheap toy for the Princes to amuse themselves with – after all, what other reason could they have to keep that strange girl with the stranger pointed ears around?

She had learned to ignore them, to ignore their mocking snickers and their disgusting insinuations. They did hurt, and they always would, but she was more than willing to bear the sting of those comments if it meant to be at their side – Ryoma’s, Hinoka’s, Sakura’s… Takumi’s.

She had heard it all before. But she had never heard them coming from someone she cared about – from Takumi, the boy whose shoulder she used to fall asleep on as he read, the boy who asked her to comb his hair after a training session, the boy she would have never believed capable of… of…

By Hotoke, how could she have been so stupid? How could she have been so blind to the monster lurking behind the Takumi she knew and loved, the beast that had been so horrible to Ileana, that had turned on her too?

> _«I wish it was you.»_

The words that had made her so happy only that morning now burned like a brand in her mind.

She wasn’t part of their family, part of their lives. She would never be. She had been so naïve to revel in that golden lie – until it had collapsed like the ground under her feet when she had looked in Takumi’s eyes and found nothing but disgust.

Gods, why hadn’t they kept her at arm’s length, as it would have been appropriate, as they should have done? At least she would have been spared that pain – a pain she could feel charring her skin whenever any thought about the brother she had lost that day brushed against her mind…

«Zoe.»

Ryoma’s sharp voice shook her, tearing her away from those angry, grieving thoughts.

«He merely stated the obvious.» she informed him matter-of-factly, rubbing her shoulders to keep the cold at bay – she could feel it claw its way to her bones, putting such a chill in her chest it was getting hard to breathe.

Takumi would never forgive her, and she had no intention of asking his forgiveness. Something between them had broken, shattered. Zoe shivered when she wondered what life in Shirasagi would be like from that day on, how everything would inevitably change. Ileana or no, nothing would ever be the same.

Ryoma sighed deeply for what felt like the hundredth time that day. He offered his arm to her, silently inviting her to resume guiding him through that intricate maze of corridors, abrupt corners and endless stairs that made up the inside of the Great Wall.

Holding her breath, Zoe looped her arm around his. The pure whiteness of his clothes was almost startling, unused as she was to seeing it without the red of the amor plates he always wore – the same bright red of the Hoshidan crest, the same bright red of the disturbing glimmer that had flashed across Takumi’s coppery eyes.

Zoe bit her lip, trying to banish that memory, leaning more on Ryoma to seek reassurance as she forced herself to breathe deeply, to keep at bay the terror that seized her now, as it had seized her earlier when she was standing right in front of him.

«It seems I will have to speak with him again.»

No.

That terror put a chill in her heart when she pictured it – _Ryoma facing that angry monster that had taken hold of the young man he was ashamed to call his brother_. Zoe found herself covered in goosebumps.

«Leave it.» she whispered, intertwining her fingers with his when he placed his gloved hand over her own without even realizing it.

«No, I won’t ‘leave it’.» he replied, his voice stubborn and dangerously low.

Zoe would have liked to tell him that it wasn’t important, that there was no need for him to take the matter into his hands, that it would have been a pointless fight with someone that just wasn’t their little brother. Ryoma shouldn’t have to go through something like that, now when he already had so much on his mind, so many burdens to shoulder…

«Is that why you hit him?»

Zoe started. He… knew – and he wasn’t mad at her?!

Sure, she and Takumi had always been turbulent children, but she had never dared to lift a finger to the youngest Prince of Hoshido outside of the training grounds – safe for a few friendly pinches, perhaps. She was well aware that any sort of aggressive behavior – such as punching him like she had just done only a few hours before – could cost her so much more than an earful and hours on hours of push-ups. And yet…

«No…» she mumbled, but squared her shoulders and looked him in the eyes. «I hit him because he called Ileana a dog again and I was sick of it.»

Oh, now she had done it, she thought. Now he was going to hand her over to Saizo directly, to let him, as her sensei, take whatever measures he saw fit. But she didn’t dread the prospect of one of the Master Ninja’s atrocious punishments: there was calmness in her mind, the same clarity she had felt when Ileana had begged her to let her go home and she had promised to help her – and that calmness made her withstand the inquiring silence of the High Prince.

She had done well.

He didn’t say it, yet she heard it, loud and clear. She felt her heart soar when he shook his head, a tight but amused smile on his face, when he held her hand more firmly. There was pride in his fern green eyes when they gazed into her own.

«I see I can count on you to never let a wrong go unpunished.»

Zoe’s fingers tightened around his arm, beneath that hand that she knew could wreak a most painful death with a katana in its grasp – but that hand could also offer comfort, warmth, a kindness so sincere it was almost moving. She looked up to him in a way she had never looked up to anyone – not even to Saizo, though she had idolized him since she was a child. And there was more to that admiration than the crush she had developed over her teenage years: Ryoma was the samurai code incarnate, made of tenets she strove to abide by every day so that she could become the person she wanted to be, a self she could be proud of. And hearing that approval fall from his lips was the sweetest balm she could ever ask for.

«I’m a Samurai.» she stated proudly, standing taller as she remembered the excruciating afternoons of training when Ryoma had sparred with her. Those words had been part of her ever since.

The honor of a samurai was telling right and wrong apart… and that day, she had been in the right. She had done well.

«You did right by that title today. And you’ve made me proud.»

Those words, the reassuring warmth of his shoulder – him, standing so close – were almost overwhelming. Zoe wasn’t good at dealing with so many emotions all at once. The sheer joy of his approval and the burning pain of the wounds on her heart merged into one single, charring feeling. She stood frozen, speechless for a spell, left breathless by that all-consuming clash deep in her soul.

«Saizo would disagree.» she forced out after a beat, not really sure of where the strength to utter that shaky joke came from, nor how she appeared able to maintain the façade of calmness expected of her.

Ryoma’s lips curled into a hint of a smile for a second, and she would have missed entirely hadn’t it been for her eyes, so trained to chase every flicker of emotion crossing his features. «I could talk to him, if you’d like.» he offered.

But Zoe shook her head, slowly disentangling her fingers from his own, stepping away but glancing at him just in time to catch his frown smoothing out.

«Nah, I’ll handle him. I walk on the wild side.» she offered, drawing from his more relaxed expression the strength she needed to keep her feelings in check and focus on him instead.

But would that strength last her through the days to come?

It wasn’t going to be easy, having Ileana as a guest in Shirasagi, especially uncooperative as she was. She didn’t trust them in the least, and Zoe doubted that any of her memories of Hoshido could ever reawaken in her mind. How was she supposed to make her feel at home in that white palace if all she longed for was the unending darkness of Nohr?

Ryoma trusted her, respected her… he had always held her in the highest of regards, ever since he had taken her under his wing after her promotion to Samurai. But what would he think of her if she couldn’t make his little sister stay? She hated the very thought of letting him down – dreaded the possibility of making an unforgivable mistake, dreaded it so much it made her heart ache.

And how was she supposed to deal with Takumi? Would life without him prove to be unbearable? The events that had been set in motion by Ileana’s forced return were going to lead to changes that would inevitably overturn all their lives. How was she going to cope without her best friend, without her beloved little brother?

«Zoe.»

This time, she managed not to start when her name – spoken so softly, softly as he never said any other – left Ryoma’s lips. She looked up to his face, committed those gentle eyes to memory – so that she may draw strength from them in the future. She didn’t consider herself strong, never had… but he trusted her, was counting on her. So she was going to be strong, somehow, for him. For him, she would keep those dark thoughts at bay.

But she didn’t expect Ryoma to close the distance between them – in a way that would have had the nobles of Shirasagi screech at its inappropriateness, had they been there to see it – and raise his hand to her face, fingering her bangs out of her eyes.

“ _Oh, Gods…_ ”

She could feel her mask slipping, melting away beneath the warmth of his gloved palm, under his unwavering gaze. That gaze and that warmth became her whole world, and Zoe could feel her cheeks burn red – and she knew he had noticed her blush, his smile lighting up his eyes.

«It will be alright.» he promised her – that smile was still on his face, looking almost out of place because he almost never smiled. He looked so much… younger.

«I really hope so.» she sighed, closing her eyes and reveling in that moment of bliss, in that bubble of warmth and peace that had all but dissipated the scorching pain that had overtaken her mind for the past few hours.

It was him, it had always been him – her light in the stifling shadows.

She wouldn’t be able to live without him. The prospect of losing Takumi filled her heart with ice-cold despair, but the idea of losing Ryoma… no, it was unthinkable, and all of her rejected the mere possibility.

Just as she had rejected Takumi’s unjustifiable cruelty. A cruelty she was going to fight, standing tall and strong and proud, ready to pay whatever price she would have to pay, and would pay it eagerly. Because she had done right. She had done well.

She smiled, resting her cheek against his palm to better enjoy his gloved touch, his warmth – just for a second longer, before arching an eyebrow at him.

«And this is terribly inappropriate.» she mocked him, imitating quite convincingly both his deep voice and his deeper frown.

Ryoma’s eyes crinkled in amusement. Unable to decide if he was supposed to take offense or just laugh out the amusement he felt, he asked: «Are you making fun of me?»

Zoe just laughed, begrudgingly slipping away from his touch. She winked at him before turning away, headed once more for the room where Ileana slept.

 

The rustle of sheets was what made him open his eyes. He had been awake for a while now, but that was when Kaze redirected his full attention to the bed where Ileana rested. She was shifting in her sleep.

It wasn’t going long before her awakening now, he knew. It wasn’t the first time she tossed or turned, or mumbled something. However, the sleep-inducing elixir he had given her was still in effect, and she hadn’t been able to wake up.

Kaze stood to stretch his arms and back, his muscles sore from the short nap he had allowed himself on that chair to get some rest. Then he padded towards the bed without making a sound, looking at the young girl all tangled in the sheets.

There was still a hint of fear that even sleep couldn’t banish from her face. There was still trace of the days she had spent in the darkness on her cheeks – more hollow than how they had been at the edge of the Bottomless Canyon. He could almost see the nightmares and memories shudder just beneath her closed eyelids.

It was only his sense of duty that held his hand back when his heart screamed at him to reach out and stroke her hair, to comfort her restless sleep and brush some wavy blonde strands out of her face. It was his sense of duty that held his hand back now, as it had held him back every day of her imprisonment.

Kaze closed his eyes and tore himself away from the Dark Mage’s side, gritting his teeth when the face of the young woman morphed into the delicate, innocent one of the child he hadn’t protected, fourteen years ago.

_No more mistakes_.

No matter how he longed to comfort her – no matter how she needed his comfort, how _he_ needed it too – he was all too aware that giving her that small gesture would have done more damage than good.

Ileana had been through something too horrible, something for which she hadn’t been prepared at all – no soldier would have reacted that way. Kaze was sure that learning how to act under pressure, how to handle imprisonment and questioning, was part of the training of Hoshidans and Nohrians alike. The way Ileana had given into fear told him that no one had bothered to include that particular, vital lesson in her routine.

Kaze inhaled and exhaled slowly, fighting against the anger he had harbored in his chest since the moment he had seen those green eyes he could never forget.

If only someone, anyone had taken the time to teach her how to cope with the threats, the insults and the torments an enemy could – _would_ – put her through… if only those people Ileana called family and longed to return to hadn’t thrown her to the wolves without a second thought…

…he wouldn’t have to hold himself back. He could comfort her without worrying about her latching onto him – because in her state, it would have created a sick, warped relationship between the two of them, and she couldn’t afford that. She had been put through – was being put through – something that had consumed her sanity, and even tampered with her survival instinct.

_No._

Ileana deserved better. So he had to be strong, stronger. He couldn’t afford himself any weaknesses. Not again.

Inhale, exhale. The air fillings his lungs. The blood running through his veins. The steady rhythm of his heart.

Losing his temper wasn’t something he could afford, as he couldn’t afford to do what he had wanted to do when Ileana had reached for his clothes through the bars of her damned dark cell, folly and fear etched in her green eyes.

He had felt his heart break before her pleading stare, as it had broken fourteen years ago when he had watched those same eyes fade in the dark night of Cheve – and all he had done had been cradling an unconscious Zoe in his arms and hide his guilt in her ash-blond hair, for sacrificing an innocent child to a nightmarish fate.

He had done nothing but watch. And now, he could do nothing but watch.

His jaw set, his frown deepened, his hands clenched. His own body rebelled against the serene control he was forcing on himself, screamed at him for not hugging that poor girl tight, for not telling her that everything was going to be okay and that he wasn’t going to allow anyone to harm her farther.

But he couldn’t. For Ileana’s own good, he couldn’t.

Were he to let her latch onto him and see him as her only haven of hope and safety, he would take from her her last chance to recover healthily from the traumatic experience she was living, and that her unprepared mind was dealing with in the worst possible way.

He owed her. He owed her at least that much, after all those years, after…

More rustling and a groan brought him back from the basement of dark stone filled with chipped swords and lances, brought him back to a room of lacquered wood steeped in the hazy light of the sunset and in the soft glow of a candle.

He stepped away from the bed, making sure that the Nohrian Princess could see him when she opened her eyes so that he wouldn’t startle her. He watched her stretch, rub ber eyes, card her fingers through her hair.

«Ow… my head…» Ileana moaned as she pushed herself up, leaning on her hand and arm to sit. «K-Kaze? Where am I? What happened?»

«Easy, milady. Here.» the Master Ninja walked at her side slowly, with heavy steps, reaching to rearrange her pillows behind her so that she could rest her back against them. Ileana stood frozen until he was done, and only when he stepped away she sunk into the cushions. «We’re still in Suzanoh. You met the Queen of Hoshido a few hours ago.»

Ileana stared at him as if the strands of his hair had turned into radishes. «The Queen of—» she breathed in disbelief – and then her eyes began to fill with memories, awareness, and horror. «Oh. Right.»

Kaze busied himself with a kettle, turning his back on her so that she could recall everything that had happened that day and gather her thoughts as away from prying eyes as possible. He hoped that the sleep-inducing elixir had allowed her some respite from the images – from those hands, those eyes – that would haunt her for months and months to come.

When he returned to her, it was with a steaming cup. «This should help with the headache.»

She took it gingerly, careful not to get burned, sniffing the drink it contained – and Kaze couldn’t help but feel something tug at his heart when she finally gave a tentative sip after seeing him smile encouragingly.

That was a good sign.

Master Ninja and Dark Mage stood in silence as the girl slowly sipped her tea and warily looked around, confused by the unfamiliar room – Cheve, too, had been unfamiliar to him, made of stone and surrounded by strange trees and steeped in a twilight so dark, his eyes had been half-blind the whole time.

He looked away, struggling to recognize the smiling child who had loved the Sun that he used to watch as she played in Shirasagi’s gardens with the Princesses and the youngest Prince. They used to make flower wreaths for each other. It had been years, but he hadn’t forgotten – he never could, least of all now. If Ileana was there, feeling uneasy and confused and surrounded by a world she didn’t belong to anymore, it was only because he hadn’t been strong enough to argue with his brother’s decision.

The muffled sliding of the door forced him to push his pain aside. Kaze raised impassive eyes to greet Zoe – who also took her time to let Ileana take in her arrival: she almost stomped into the room, the smile on her waning when Ileana looked at her.

«Ah, I see you’re awake now.» Zoe greeted her, carefully edging closer to the bed when she noticed the Princess didn’t flinch at her presence – Ileana just stared at her from above the steaming cup, still looking somewhat dazed. «How are you feeling, Princess?» the Samurai asked quietly, her hand smoothing an inexistent crease in the sheets.

«Zoe.» Ileana whispered, and Kaze wandered if Zoe, too, felt a pang every time she heard her voice, unchanged from how they both remembered it from their childhood if not for her accent. «I’m… yes, I’m awake.»

Zoe smiled, kind and encouraging as she had been from the start. Kaze felt the grip that held his heart weaken: he was grateful for her presence, grateful that the Queen had taken her along. He couldn’t bear thinking about what could have happened without her. The influence she didn’t know she had on the royal family had prevented things from taking a turn for the worse and had put a stop to the madness that seemed to have overtaken some of them.

«Zoe.» he called, and she immediately turned, straightened back, picked up her ears, and nodded respectfully.

It was easy to forget who Zoe actually was. He was so used to seeing her as his equal – a friend, a soldier, a retainer – that remembering the identity they meticulously denied had become harder and harder as the years passed, as the hope of finding Ileana alive dwindled. If he looked at the two of them now, he found it difficult to keep in mind which one was supposed to be his priority, his charge, his Princess…

«All quiet, nothing to report.» Zoe responded, saving all the details for when they’d be out of Ileana’s earshot. Her eyes darted towards the door, and there was concern in her crimson irises. «But we have a guest right out here that we really can’t ignore, I’m afraid.» she added under her breath, and the familiar stutter of her voice gave away the identity of their unwanted visitor.

Kaze’s face darkened, the only outlet of his frustration being his clenched fists.

What was it they wanted from Ileana now? Hadn’t they taken enough for a day, dumping on her information that she hadn’t been able to handle, that had broken something deep inside of those green eyes?

However, he had no time to conjure an excuse to keep Lord Ryoma out. The High Prince of Hoshido strutted inside, much less delicately and not even waiting for them to break it to Ileana. His figure seemed to fill the room – he certainly filled the doorway, even without his custom red armor.

Behind Zoe’s back, Kaze saw Ileana’s tired face pale, losing whatever color those healthy hours of rest had given her cheeks.

«If it isn’t too much trouble, of course.» he supplied as soon as Zoe’s sentence ended, utterly oblivious to Ileana’s reaction to his presence.

Zoe rolled her eyes, shooting the Master Ninja an apologetic glance that almost screamed ‘I told him to wait but he didn’t listen’.

Kaze almost snapped that yes, it was too much trouble, that it was inhumane to impose like that on someone as shaken as the Nohrian girl. He bit his tongue, forcing that remark down his throat until it reached the ugly ball of chocked-back words and feelings he had amassed over the past few terrible days. His expression remained a blank mask.

«I don’t mean to disturb you, Ileana.» Ryoma soothed with unexpected kindness, but Ileana winced as if struck and clenched her fingers on her cup so tightly that her fingertips went white.

«Prince Ryoma.» Ileana whispered, looking away from him and towards Zoe. She handed her the cup and hastily peeled off the blankets she had pulled around herself even as she slept. «I—» she began as she tried to stand – but too quickly, impatient as she was not to be seen as weak by one she still considered very much an enemy.

Kaze saw her legs give way, her eyes lose focus for an instant, her stubbornness losing the battle against her frailty. He was at her side before he even realized it. He caught himself from reaching out to help her, allowing her to claw at the bed and push herself upright all alone, proving her mettle – the strength that had shone even in the bowels of Suzanoh, that had kept her alive in spite of everything.

«You really should have waited, you know.» Zoe snapped.

The High Prince just shrugged when she glared and turned his attention back to the Nohrian Princess. «I am sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.» he apologized with a slight bow on his head, a mollifying smile on his face.

But Kaze caught the ice-cold spark in his calculating eyes.

Lord Ryoma wasn’t just a Prince, nor just a general. He was one of the most skilled politicians the Master Ninja had ever met. It was clear as day that the Nohrian Princess’ weakness had gotten his attention, falling into place in whatever intricate puzzle he could see him piece together behind his calm demeanor.

He shot a glance at Zoe, and relief flooded him when he noticed her frown – regardless of the adoration she had for the High Prince that had blinded her in the past, this time she had caught that moment of coldness. Kaze could use that, he reasoned, because Zoe was his best – and only – chance to protect Ileana.

The Nohrian Princess flexed her fingers and closed her eyes for a heartbeat – to compose herself, to mentally prepare herself for whatever was in store for her – before she straightened her shoulders and clasped her hands behind her back, rallying what little strength she had left to face someone that, in her eyes, had to be a terrifying. 

«There is no need to apologize, Prince Ryoma.» she stated, with a voice so even and courteous that no one could doubt her royal upbringing. «What do you require of me?»

Kaze caught a glimpse of surprise in the superficial serenity that his Prince was wearing as a mask when he heard her so glacially polite. He took the cup from Zoe’s hand and turned to set it on the table, hiding his relieved sigh.

«I simply wanted to make sure that you were fine, and to inform you that we’re leaving for Shirasagi tomorrow morning. Is that okay with you?» the High Prince asked.

Both Kaze and Zoe had to fight back a groan. They were perfectly aware of how hypocritical the question was, that it was just to give Ileana a diplomatic possibility to make a choice.

_Ileana had no choice_.

The Master Ninja swallowed the burning remark that he really couldn’t spit at the future King of Hoshido.

Ileana pursed her trembling lips, looking away to take a stuttering breath. «A-already?» she peeped, flinching when Ryoma nodded.

«Yes. Despite its size, Suzanoh is a military garrison, and it is not meant to host a large number of people. It would be inconvenient to wait here for the Obsidian King’s answer.» he explained, crossing his arms and briefly looking away from the girl in front of him. «And the Queen thought that it would be better, for you, not to stay in this place, after all that happened in these past days.» he added – and this time, the kindness in deep voice seemed sincere.

«Oh.» Ileana turned to shoot a confused glance to Kaze and Zoe, looking for some kind of reassurance or validation to the High Prince’s words.

Kaze gave her neither, more preoccupied with keeping his feelings out of his not-so-impeccably impassive face. Zoe nodded: those _were_ words that the Queen would say.

Ileana sighed and sat back on the bed. «I see. How…» she accepted, running her hands through her wavy hair before looking at Ryoma again. «…thoughtful.»

Kaze looked away from her, unable to watch more of the pain and confusion that warped her elegant face. He wondered what she could be thinking about, how Lady Mikoto’s words fit in the blank spaces her life had to have, if she believed them, if she even considered the possibility that this was her home, her family, that that woman was her mother…

«She only wishes to help you overcome the terrible experience you’ve been put through.»

Kaze could believe those words, even if Ileana looked like she didn’t. He had served Lady Mikoto long enough to think he knew her at least a bit: he knew that all those lies, those secrets and the pain they entailed had weighed heavily on the shoulders of she who had been labelled ‘the doleful Queen’. He could never fault her for how things had turned out.

Lady Mikoto had been rash, hadn’t taken the time to evaluate the situation; she had let her emotions override the wisdom that had made her such a beloved Queen. But she had longed so to have her Ileana back, had cried so many tears…

Kaze admitted with himself that she couldn’t be blamed for what had happened. Out of all the members of the royal family, she was the one who deserved nothing but his compassion.

«I would like to offer a formal apology as well.»

Both Kaze and Ileana’s eyes widened in surprise at those unexpected words, but the Master Ninja caught Zoe’s glower – _that didn’t bode well, not at all_.

Ileana frowned, trying to understand, watching him with utter confusion. «Your… apologies?»

Kaze’s gaze sharpened: he hadn’t seen this coming. The High Prince of Hoshido had clasped his hands behind his back and was staring out the window, past the half-closed shutters. He looked inscrutable, with an expression that Kaze had only seen on men much, much older than him.

«Of course. My brother has disgraced his own name, my mother’s and my own with his unacceptable behavior.» he stated, more harshly than he usually sounded, and Kaze understood Zoe’s grimace: Prince Takumi was the last thing Ileana needed to talk about. «It will not be forgotten, nor easily forgiven.»

Kaze wanted to tear apart the pillows he was rearranging just to keep his hands busy when he saw any remnant of color drain from Ileana’s face – she was so white, it would be easy to mistake her for a ghost.

Lord Ryoma’s words appeared to be sincere – maybe ill-timed, but nonetheless an offer of friendship, a sign of openness towards that shivering, terrified young girl… but Kaze knew better. A part of him – the part of him that followed only duty, blindly and absolutely, the vile and despicable and calculating part of him that had understood and approved what Saizo had done in Cheve – was all too aware that that apology was nothing but the High Prince’s attempt to clean his own conscience.

He didn’t care about Ileana. No one ever cared about Ileana.

«I— I don’t…» Ileana’s voice faltered, and anyone could see her forced composure crumble under the pressure of resurfacing memories still too real for her to cope with – threats, fear, pain…

_He had to do something_.

Kaze clenched his fists, forcing himself to face the Prince whilst trying to suppress the indignant growl rumbling in his chest.

«Lord Ryoma, if I may.» he began, and winced at the undercurrent of anger he thought he had managed to dissimulate, all too aware of Zoe’s startled look and Ileana’s glistening eyes.

Ryoma looked at him, perhaps not surprised by his interference but definitely unhappy about it. He pursed his lips when he took in the uncharacteristically hostile expression on the Master Ninja’s face. «Yes, Kaze?» he prompted, a warning perfectly audible in his apparently polite voice.

Kaze knew that he was walking on the edge of a fissure as deep and deadly as the Bottomless Canyon, could almost feel the shriek of the stormy winds in his ears. That was a chasm he – _unlike Zoe_ – couldn’t cross, a distance he wasn’t allowed to bridge…

…but he couldn’t hold his tongue while a young woman who had already been put through torture was forced to recall the man who had caused her all that pain – the man who would haunt her nightmares for months to come.

«Is it necessary to do this right this moment?» he hissed, failing his attempt to sound as deferential as possible.

The High Prince only spared Ileana a brief glance, clearly unable to recognize – or simply too indifferent to care for – the telltale signs of terror on her face. «No, but—»

«Ryoma.»

Both the Master Ninja and the Swordmaster started when Zoe all but materialized between them – crossed arms, pursed lips, fed-up frown. Kaze looked at her in confusion – _had he been so distracted he hadn’t noticed her movement?_ – but she had eyes only for Ryoma.

«What Kaze is far too polite to say is: go away, you’re stressing her out. _Again_.» she barked, addressing him with same annoyed mien that Orochi reserved to all those who dared to vex her.

Had Saizo heard her, right that instant, he would have probably choked on his own tongue. Instead, Kaze hid a smile and felt a rush of gratitude fill his chest and loosen the painful knot over his heart. Zoe was a gods-send and he could never be more proud of her, of her rashness and her kindness that had even managed to melt his brother’s ice-cold heart – no matter how vehemently Saizo denied it.

He had been wrong, Kaze realized as he looked on that impetuous young girl, so clueless yet so willing to become the first line of defense of the Princess with no hesitation: he wasn’t the only one who cared about Ileana.

Ryoma sighed, and yet another of Zoe’s disrespects went unpunished. He replied to her irritated snarl with a shrug. Kaze felt relief fill him, to the point that he barely felt the jab of remorse when he found himself happy that his bet on her impulsive reaction had seen him victorious yet again.

…maybe he wasn’t that different from his twin after all.

Kaze shook of the thought with an ease that betrayed habit, and turned his attention back to Ileana. He could see something twisting in the depths of her green eyes, something between anguish, fear and uncertainty.

«Wait, I… I must, too…» she stuttered, balling her fists in the sheets and scrunching her eyes as she summoned yet another bit of strength before she faced the Hoshidan royal. «Prince Ryoma, please. I, too, have sullied my family’s honor with my actions. I hope you won’t hold them accountable for my appalling behavior?»

Kaze heard all too well the hesitation and the worry veining her voice even behind the dark, harsh sounds of her Nohrian accent. There was despair behind her polite words, behind the way she let her question trail off – a question that sounded like a prayer. Even though he held back from reaching out and touch her shoulder, he couldn’t help but yield to the temptation of taking one step closer to Ileana: she needed support and comfort and understanding, and she definitely wouldn’t find any of them in the bitter retort the High Prince was about to spit.

…not on Zoe’s watch. Kaze caught her cock her head at Ryoma, had no trouble imagining the warning look on her face – her ears flat against her skull, her crimson eyes growing a shade darker. It had to work, because the Hoshidan Prince hesitated before giving his answer.

«Of course I won’t. Rest easy, Ileana.» he stated a bit too cautiously to sound natural – and the Master Ninja decided that Zoe deserved a prize for how she had handled every issue of that long day.

The distress that had warped Ileana’s face seemed to ease at that. The Nohrian Princess released a breath she hadn’t realized she had been holding and sank deeper into the pillows. She closed her eyes, too exhausted even to flinch when Kaze tucked in the blankets.

Zoe ran a hand over the sheets, pretending to help Kaze smooth them. _Poor thing_.

«Now, as this exuberant samurai suggested, I should take my leave.»

Kaze reminded himself how unprofessional it would have been to cheer – though that didn’t stop Zoe from snapping at the High Prince. It was about that time that His Royal Highness left, and allowed that poor girl the peace she needed and deserved – a peace that he and his family seemed quite determined to disrupt again and again.

Suddenly the door slid open with such force, it rattled it frame. Both the Samurai and the Master Ninja placed their hands on their weapons, while Ileana started and all but curled into the pillows, frightened by the abrupt noise.

«KAZE!»

He sighed in exasperation, immediately imitated by Zoe.

The source of the commotion was a lilac-haired woman. Her shoulders were rigid, her arms stiff against her sides, and hands fisted. The golden comb that shone through her complicated up-do was just as blinding as the disturbing twinkle in her eyes.

«Care to explain why all the herbs I stuffed in this place’s pharmacy have gone missing?!»

Orochi strutted in the already-too-crowded room and pointed her finger at him, not even wasting time to acknowledge anyone else – not even the High Prince, nor the shivering Princess – and ignoring both Kaze’s sharp glare and Zoe’s warning look. It was Prince Ryoma who cleared his voice, catalyzing her attention and unknowingly giving Kaze time to come up with an excuse to appease her.

«Oh, lord Ryoma, greetings! I didn’t notice you.» she chirped and turned towards him, her wicked smirk on her painted lips. «And that’s quite strange, considering your bulk. Looks like you’re big even without all that armor…» she added with a voice that could only be described as suggestive, pensively tapping her chin with her finger and arching an eyebrow.

«Mom.» Zoe groaned, clearly embarrassed by the Onmyoji’s behavior.

Orochi winked at her adoptive daughter, and Zoe groaned louder. Kaze sighed.

«I’m afraid I don’t understand what you’re talking about, dear Orochi.» he stated, regaining control over his perfectly impassive, calm voice. «I haven’t taken a single step in the kitchens.» he explained, withstanding the herbalist’s enquiring look with an audacity that even Saizo would have respected.

_Lying to Orochi was never a good idea_.

«Oh really?» she purred as she stared at him with those enigmatic eyes of her that had always managed to subdue even his fiery brother.

Kaze kept feigning ignorance, hoping that Orochi would pick up on what he really, really couldn’t say – not right there, not right then. Of course, he had been the one to steal her herbs – and he knew that she knew, she knew that he was lying, and yet—

«Oh, milord, before I forget. Lady Mikoto is looking for you.» she said out of the blue, switching her attention back to the Prince so quickly that even Kaze looked at her in confusion.

Zoe shot him a suspicious glance – which he ignored, and so she sat on the bed with words of comfort on her tongue, trying to calm down a very shaken Ileana.

Luckily, Lord Ryoma seemed to realize what was going on – _for once!_ – and nodded. «Is she? Then I must be off.» he said, and there was a very audible trace of entertainment in his voice. «Ileana, Zoe, Kaze.»

The Master Ninja respectfully bowed his head, but Zoe just huffed and practically waved him off without even looking at him.

Ryoma smirked, not minding the Samurai’s cold send-off in the least – if anything, he seemed amused by it. He squeezed the Onmyoji’s shoulder on his way out. «Orochi, try not to overwhelm our guest.»

«You’re one to talk.» Zoe grumbled, and slapped a hand over her mouth when she realized she had said it out loud.

Orochi giggled. Kaze looked away, but struggled even more than usual to keep a grin off his face. Ryoma stared at her, inscrutable as ever – a glare that had intimidated men and women far more powerful and high-ranking than her, but that never seemed to work on her: she just shrugged.

«What? I’m not wrong!» she barked, blushing.

Ryoma sighed, and allowed yet another disrespectful remark to go unpunished. He shook his head. «I suppose you’re not.» he admitted, and murmured: «Goodnight.» as he walked out the door Orochi hadn’t closed behind her.

«Finally!»

Orochi’s dramatic sigh seemed to voice everyone’s thoughts. Kaze unconsciously began to relax, but his peace was short-lived: the Onmyoji’s attention was all on him, and she looked everything but distracted from the reason why she had come to look for him in the first place.

«Start talking, dear.» she cooed, her sweetness as deceptive as the beauty of a poisonous flower.

Still, he tried. «Honestly, Orochi, you must be mistaken… I don’t—»

«Oh really? How odd. The cook says the herbs were all there just before Hinata came in to ask for second helpings.» she cut him off, an eyebrow arched in the exact same annoyed mien Zoe had sported earlier. «Now, do I need to go and talk with him, or would you care to explain?»

Zoe’s grunt at the thought of Hinata in her mother’s clutches was the perfect manifestation of the dejection Kaze felt as it plummeted in his stomach like a rock – he couldn’t let that poor guy undergo Orochi’s questioning… he wouldn’t last a second.

«Fine. I have your herbs.» he finally confessed, running a hand through his fine, dark green hair. «They’re in my room.»

«And you took them because…?» she prompted, definitely not satisfied by his meagre admission – but he just shook his head.

«I’m sorry I have troubled you.» he apologized, refusing to meet Orochi’s sharp eyes and flashing a reassuring smile to Ileana – so pale and confused and so terribly exhausted, she looked like she was staring right through him: she was about to pass out. Zoe had noticed it too, and she had quietly handed her another cup of herbal tea herself since he was busy with Orochi, telling her in a whisper that it would help her rest and smiling softly when the Princess had drank the mild sleeping draught without complaint.

Maybe it was alright for him to step out for a bit after all.

«…my patience is growing thin, Kaze.» Orochi huffed, her foot irritably tapping the floor.

«Come then, let us go and retrieve your herbs.» Kaze relented, looking at her with a weak, mollifying smile. «I’ll explain on the way.» he promised, imperceptibly nodding towards Ileana.

«Ah, right.» Orochi chimed, flashing Ileana a bright smile when she followed Kaze’s nod and understood. «Sorry about the intrusion, Princess. Night-night!» she wished her with an enthusiastic wave of her hand – to which Ileana could only respond with a dazed look. Then the Onmyoji stepped at Zoe’s side and placed a kiss on her cheek, «Night, kitty!»

Predictably, Zoe glared. «Mom!»

The familiarity of Orochi and Zoe’s bickering put a small smile on Kaze’s thin lips. He edged close to the bed, facing those watery green eyes that hadn’t left him, not even for a moment. He could already see the somnolence in the frown on her elegant face as she struggled to focus on him.

«I’ll be back, milady.» he promised softly, and when Ileana nodded he resigned himself into following Orochi outside.

And only then, when he was in the shadowy corridor and with a closed door between himself and the more and more suffocating little room, Kaze allowed himself to breathe.

Now, for a while, nothing bad could happen.

He breathed in deeply and greedily, composed himself, gathered his thoughts. A handful of seconds was all that Orochi had the patience to allow him before clicking her tongue and forcing him to walk with a determination that bordered tyranny – as usual.

«Now, if your annoying brother or my beautiful wife aren’t around, you better start explaining yourself.»

After all the tension of those past hours, Kaze allowed himself a smile – a tired smile, exhausted even. He was used to his friend’s impetuousness, he had grown up with it, and he knew that her malicious façade hid a much, much kinder soul that anyone could guess. It was another glimpse of familiarity in a world that had become unrecognizable.

He needn’t keep anything from Orochi: she was the only person in all of Hoshido he could be honest with, who would listen to his doubts, his insecurities, his demons. Talking with Saizo had always been impossible, and even Kagero couldn’t understand him the way the lilac-haired Onmyoji could.

_Orochi was the one true friend he had ever had_.

«Why did you hide all the herbs of this place?» she questioned him, unaware of his thoughts and of the deep love and gratitude that Kaze could feel warm his bones and soothe his throat, parched by silence.

«The tension between Lord Takumi and the Princess made it impossible for her to keep marching with the column.» he whispered, the words so difficult to utter that they felt like hot oil on his lips – part of him would rather keep secret the unforgivable actions he had witness to protect the honor of the royal family…

_…but he was so done with lies._

«Hinata talked him into sending us ahead with her lest we lost her along the way. Oboro came as well, with a letter from our Prince containing orders for the commander of the Great Wall.»

Orochi waved a hand for him to continue.

«The orders were very precise, and very harsh.»

_Orders that had almost pushed things past the point of no return_.

«None of us could mitigate them in any way. Maybe if Reina had been with us…»

Kaze trailed off, thinking back to all the ifs and buts that had run through his mind during the unending nights he had spent in the prison, watching over the Princess. Had Reina stayed, had Zoe been allowed to accompany Takumi on his scouting mission, had Hinoka been the one assigned to go on patrol on the Bottomless Canyon and not the restless young Prince – so impatient to demonstrate a valor he had, in the end, not proven to possess…

«When he read the letter, the Kazoku Senno thought that the young girl in front of him had to be some kind of monster under false pretenses.» Kaze hissed, more resentful than he would have liked to sound.

«I can only imagine.» Orochi sighed, thoughtful, absently twirling a strand of her long hair around of her bejeweled fingers. «I didn’t speak to him, though, Reina did. What did he choose to do? He wanted to drug her?»

Kaze hung his head. «Yes. He wanted to make sure he could control the Nohrian Dark Mage that our Prince had undoubtedly described as the source of all the evils of Euanthe.»

Orochi huffed, possibly amused by the heavy sarcasm in her friend’s voice, but Kaze sighed – he shouldn’t talk like that, he should sound neutral, unfazed by what had happened and unaffected by the anger he felt towards what the Prince had done, but his feelings overrode his self-control.

«So you replaced all of my rare herbs with spices.» Orochi toyed with the hem of his sleeves, tracing the blades he wore on his armguards. «I doubt that poor girl would have made it out alive if you hadn’t. The herbalist of this place is everything but competent, I bet she didn’t even notice that the herbs were missing.» she commented.

Kaze felt relief flood him upon hearing her words – upon realized that she had, once more, understood him. He clasped her hand in his own, seeking comfort in her delicate touch.

«My concerns exactly.» he confirmed, and the coil around his heart tightening. «Also, my experience tells me that it is unwise to leave a drugged young girl from an enemy kingdom at the mercy of embittered guards.»

_He had seen them, had seen their staring_.

He had seen the way their resentful eyes had roved Ileana’s very exposed, very defenseless form. He had heard their cruel comments, their vengeful plots, their disgusting fantasies about how to make the Nohrian Princess kneel before them…

«I… made sure to let them know I was watching, always.» Kaze had dissimulated his physical presence in the darkness, but not his stare, nor the whisper of his steel – the ice-cold threat he represented to those who had attempted to turn those fantasies into reality. «From the shadows, of course. They knew I was there, but wouldn’t be able to prove it.»

Kaze stared at the floor, angry with himself and with the whole world, sickened by the actions he had had to prevent. It was unthinkable to him, who had grown up in Igasato – its creed of duty above all could be merciless, but it considered honor one of its cardinal principles. Kaze knew how vile men could be – he had seen to much, faced too much not to know – but he couldn’t understand nor accept that such things could be done.

_Especially to an innocent_.

«Hinata covered for me, and so did Oboro… surprisingly.» he added, remembering Oboro’s concerned eyes and the terrifying face she had made at some soldiers she had untimely overheard.

Kaze hadn’t understood that sudden shift: Oboro had shown nothing but scorn to the Princess, and yet the threats whispered in Suzanoh’s ever-dusky corridors had pushed her to put aside her hatred for Nohrians.

«It’s not something a woman can just let happen, Kaze.» Orochi answered, her voice devoid of its custom lightheartedness that shone even through the darkest moments.

He didn’t have to wonder why: her remembered perfectly the assassins that had tried to slip into Castle Shirasagi, the ones that Orochi had seen in her cards and had tried to stop – alone. Zoe had heard the commotion, her mother’s scream, and had arrived just in time to prevent something irreparable. Kaze could never forget Orochi’s torn clothes, the horror he had seen in her eyes when he had joined the fray.

They walked in silence for a while, and Kaze was sure that Orochi’s thoughts too had gone back to the night of so many years ago, and remembered how long it had taken her to recover from it. How could Ileana face something that had almost broken a woman strong as Orochi, alone as she was? No, he hadn’t been able to allow those men to take their petty revenge on someone who was going through too much already.

«You’ve done what you could, and even what you couldn’t.» Orochi stated out of the blue, surprising him enough to make him pause to look at her with pure anguish in his purple eyes.

No, he hadn’t done enough.

Kaze could feel his teeth screech and dull pain explode in his mind, in his heart, pulsing hotter with every word he had had to bite back, burning with the fury he had denied and that was desperate to be released, stoked by the frustration he felt.

«You took quite the risk, challenging our little Prince’s orders like that.» Orochi added, and that was the last drop.

«Prince Takumi is letting his fear and anger for the Nohrians cloud his vision!» he growled, his hands clasping Orochi’s tighter.

_Fear_.

That had been the problem.

Lord Takumi’s fear had overridden his intelligence, his honor, his decency, as Ileana’s fear had erased any rationality and had transformed her into a scared, wild thing ready to fight tooth and nail against any redeeming act he might have attempted. 

_Fear_.

He had been afraid too, all those years ago. He had been so afraid that sometimes he still woke in the night, drenched in sweat even in winter, terrified by the memory of what he had been willing to do, to allow – green eyes bright in his mind, belonging to an innocent child he, too, had doomed to death or worse.

He ran his other hand through his hair and exhaled a tortured breath. «I couldn’t bear to let anything else happen to that girl, Orochi. I can’t.»

_No, he couldn’t_.

He’d never be able to look at himself in a mirror again if he did. He couldn’t live with himself, not anymore, if something else were to happen to Ileana just because he hadn’t been able to put a stop to it.

Orochi shook her head, not surprised in the least by the outburst, so uncharacteristic for him. She cocked her head and looked at him with love, kindness and understanding: she had heard those words before, had offered comfort when his strangled voice had confessed something that Kaze had never told another soul.

«You weren’t the one who made that choice. You can’t keep torturing yourself like this.» she offered.

Kaze shut his eyes, tearing his hand out of her and evading any physical contact, taking a step away to open the door to his room. «An innocent is paying for something that was thrust upon her.»

The Onmyoji just sighed. «Now it’s your judgement being clouded by anger and guilt, Kaze.» she scolded and crossed her arms.

Kaze ignored her and entered his quarters, headed for the chest where he had hidden the herbs he had taken from the kitchens while Hinata distracted the cook pretending to flirt to get second helpings.

«You won’t help anyone in this state of mind.»

He kept pretending not to hear, took the pots and bags and shoved them in his friend’s arms, never looking her in the eyes. «Here. Your herbs.»

Pain stung his cheek, forcing his attention back to Orochi: she had pinched his cheek violently enough to leave a mark, and was staring at him with the same belligerent glare she generally kept for Saizo.

«Oh, don’t even try to do this, my dear Kaze.» she warned him – and he ignored her again.

«I won’t apologize for taking them, but I am sorry for the hassle I have caused you.» he went on, and barely dodged another pinch.

«You’d better stop this right now, or you’ll force me to beat some sense in this pretty head of yours.» she hissed, tapping a finger on his nose. «Or you want to act exactly like your brother? Because, just so you know, you are acting exactly like your brother.»

He smiled at that, a half-smile that bled sadness. «Is it that surprising?»

Orochi shook her head, looking irritated. «No, simply annoying.» she answered, placing her hands on her hips. She looked at him with that tight-lipped scowl Kaze had often seen her sport before a teenage Zoe and a not-so-teenage Saizo. «So, do I have to tie you to stop you from poofing away or will you listen to me?»

Kaze frowned, a bit surprised and more than a bit worried by the seriousness in her voice. «…why does that sound like something you have done before?» he dared to ask.

Orochi winked. «A woman must become creative when she has a ninja as a partner.»

Kaze took a second longer to understand her hint, but when he did, his mind supplied him with a very colorful idea of what Orochi meant. He felt his face burn. «A-ah, I see.» he stuttered, shaking his head to shake off the thought before it turned into image and made him blush redder. «Forgive me, I didn’t mean to—»

Orochi laughed wholeheartedly – a full, chiming sound that always cleared the darkness from the face of those who stood within earshot.

«Ah, this is more like the Kaze I know.» she purred. She places her soft, painted hands on the Master Ninja’s face to force him to meet her violet eyes. «Listen, you spent the last fourteen years blaming yourself over that girl’s destiny, but it doesn’t look like she’s had a bad life. She grew up like a princess, after all, and well taken care of.»

Kaze sighed, feeling once more the _need_ to believe her words but feeling them clash against what he had been forced to witness – Ileana’s utter lack of preparation. How could a family – the Nohrian royal family, no less – throw a daughter and a sister into the hands of an enemy she knew nothing about without even bothering to prepare her for the worst that could happen?

«How can you know for sure?» he pleaded, his hands balled into fists.

«Have you seen her face when she talked about the Crown Prince of Nohr?» Orochi reminded him, brushing his fine green hair out of his face, as she always did when comforting her daughter. «That was the face of someone who felt truly and deeply loved.»

Yes, Kaze had to admit: the way Ileana had mentioned Xander had made his heart ache from the desperation and the love that had bled from her words.

«Call it a mother’s intuition.»

Kaze would have given anything to trust her words, to talk himself into believing that she was right… but he couldn’t. Orochi had to sense it, had to read it on his face strained by the suspicion and resignation Kaze felt coiled inside of him.

«Or, if you want some more valuable proof, you can think of her fancy clothes, or her way to move and to speak.» Orochi added, staring at the ceiling and mumbling something that sounded like ‘Hotoke grant me strength to beat some sense into these ninja skulls’. «She is a princess in everything but blood, Kaze.» 

Yes, that was a truth Kaze could believe in, trust, work with to grant Ileana the support she needed. His lips bent into a smile, so small yet so sincere. He clasped his friend’s hands into his own and let them fall from his face, even if his skin felt colder upon losing that loving touch.

«Thank you, Orochi.» he murmured and tried to take a step back, but she laughed.

«Oh, don’t thank me, darling. Now you owe me one.» she reminded him as she picked up the pots and bags she had set down to pinch him. Her arched eyebrow told Kaze that his little theft wasn’t going to be forgotten, no matter the reason.

And he knew that his debt wouldn’t be extinguished in mere months. He bit back a dejected whine. «…of course.»

 

* * *

 

At last, after all that time traversing the deep green of the forest, their miserable journey was about to end.

Zoe ran her fingers through the thick, soft feathers of Katsu’s neck. The Kinshi chirped its gratitude, and she felt the sound reverberate through her fingers. She smiled tenderly, then squeezed her knees while pulling lightly on the reins to make him glide lower.

It had been the Queen who had suggested Zoe to fly, probably noticing her irritability at the heavy silence that had enveloped the detachment – which hadn’t eased a bit since she took off, Zoe noticed now, if everyone’s tight faces were any indication.

They had just reached the beginning of the main road that would lead them straight to Shirasagi, where they had left the Queen’s palanquin on their way to Suzanoh – it would have been impossible to make it through the forest with the Mechanists’ contraption, she thought, glaring at the litter on mechanical wheel where Queen Mikoto sat now, meditating among colorful pillows.

Ryoma walked next to the her, discussing Gods-knew-what with Reina and Orochi. Takumi stomped nearby, on the other side of the palanquin, silent and bearing a dark expression that Zoe had seen rarely on his face; Oboro and Hinata were close behind him. Instead, Saizo and Kagero were nowhere to be seen, but it wasn’t surprising: Kagero was probably ahead to scout the safety of their path; Saizo was trailing behind, hidden from the eyes of most, close to Kaze and the Nohrian Princess.

Zoe guided Katsu farther down, and noticed Ileana’s strained expression. The Princess kept looking around warily, as if she could feel the invisible eyes staring holes into her. And staring Saizo was, though Zoe couldn’t tell if out of his own initiative or under Ryoma’s orders: ever since they had left, Zoe had noticed he was never far from Ileana – hidden to most, but not to his deshi. Maybe Ileana had noticed him, or maybe she could just sense that something was wrong. She looked like a cat ready to dart and hide, tense as she looked even from the kinshi’s back. Zoe could understand: a ninja’s eyes would drive anyone crazy.

Sure, Lady Mikoto had offered her to travel on the palanquin with her, but Zoe hadn’t been surprised when the Princess had declined – with no hesitation, shooting a terrified look at Takumi.

Zoe sighed, forcing herself to take a deep breath and inhaling the cold, stinging air that gusted at that height.

_That idiot wasn’t even trying not to act like an idiot_.

Ever since they had left, ever since Ileana had set foot out of Suzanoh, Takumi had been shooting her glares of hatred and anger that had put on edge the Princess just as much as the Queen’s entourage as a whole. Everyone advanced in such a thick, suffocating silence that Zoe had fled to the skies.

She sighed, her stomach tightening when she realized how dark the bags under Ileana’s eyes were, how tightly she pursed her lips. Being under the constant watch of an invisible ninja and knowing that her tormentor was only a few steps away from her was consuming her. Honestly, it would consume anyone.

Katsu peeped his unhappiness when she led him lower, making him glide instead of diving. They passed the Queen’s palanquin, and Lady Mikoto flashed her a quick smile to which Zoe responded with a nod. They passed Takumi, who raised his head when the kinshi’s shadow slipped over him.

Zoe tried not to look at him, to fight her own need of searching for something – _anything_ – familiar on his face. She focused on Hinata instead, on the boisterous laughter he barked when Katsu’s wing ruffled his hair, remembering with fondness the first time that Zoe had taken him flying.

Zoe smiled at the memory too, but her mirth evaporated when he made Katsu land next to Kaze and Ileana. The Master Ninja shot her a curious look, but she ignored it.

«Is everything alright, milady?» she asked instead softly when Ileana spared her a quick glance. «You look a bit troubled.»

She had to bite her tongue when the Princess straightened her back and shoulders, proud as ever.

«I’m fine. Thank you for your concern.» she answered, as polite as she had been with Ryoma – and just as cold.

Zoe wasn’t intimidated: come on, that girl was a kitten, did she really thing that an imperious hiss would scare her off?

«Well, if you say so.» she snickered, crossing her arms and eyeing the haughty Princess with a raised eyebrow. «Have you ever flown?» she asked instead.

Ileana shook her head stiffly. «I can’t say that I have.» 

She was trying to sound uninterested, but Zoe could read curiosity in the way she was looking at Katsu, and Zoe ventured that she wouldn’t mind a flight after all. She clapped her hands and smiled, faking her enthusiasm.

«Well then, hop on. I’ll take you on your very first flight!» she exclaimed, patting the space on the saddle behind her. Yet Ileana’s face darkened, but Zoe read her thought from her eyes and added: «No, I don’t plan on pushing you off from up there.» 

Kaze glared, but Zoe grinned – “ _Come on, it was a_ joke _!_ ”

Ileana blushed – clearly, Zoe’s jab had found its mark – and gingerly eyed the kinshi. «I’m not good around animals. Your bird wouldn’t be happy to have me as passenger.» she rasped, wary.

Zoe just shook her head. «No need to worry about that. Katsu is well trained: he’ll be impeccable as long as I hold his reins.» she soothed with her best smile.

Ileana looked away, unconvinced. «Still, it would be better if I didn’t—»

And Zoe groaned. «Don’t you want to stay away from him?» she spat – _oh well, at this point it wasn’t one more breach of etiquette that would get her in trouble with the crazy royals_ – and looked towards Takumi. Ileana jumped at her growl and looked back at her. «Because up there, there’s no way he can get anywhere near you.» Zoe motioned for the sky, her face now a neutral mask she detested, but which seemed to work better than any forced smile.

Ileana stayed quiet for a while, her gaze jumping from Zoe to Katsu to Takumi. She bit her lip, running her small hands on her lean arms – was she cold, Zoe wondered: she had been to Nohr, years ago, and she knew how unforgiving their winter could be, so maybe Ileana was used to temperatures much lower than the Hoshidan definition of ‘cold’, but—

«…alright.» 

Zoe started, taken by surprise by the resolution in Ileana’s one-word statement, but she tried not to show it. She just nodded and shuffled on the saddle to make sure she had room when the Princess stepped closer to the kinshi, never losing sight of its sharp beak.

«I can get on on my own.» she spat when Kaze motioned to help her up.

Zoe shook her head, fighting back a snicker. Honestly, it was adorable the way that small girl puffed her fur to look menacing…

«Wouldn’t have dreamt otherwise.» she deadpanned, ignoring Kaze’s predictable warning look and Saizo’s equally predictable disgruntled frown.

_Gods, were they on edge today_.

She kept perfectly still as Ileana struggled to climb somewhat clumsily on the saddle. She forced herself not to offer any help, busying her hands with petting Katsu’s neck and whispering him soothing words to keep him calm. When the Princess finally adjusted behind her, Zoe admired her stubbornness for holding onto the saddle instead of her. She shook her head, biting back another sarcastic comment that could jeopardize everything. She wrapped the reins around her wrists.

«Are you afraid of heights? Because I'm going to go really up high.» she warned her, savoring the worn leather under her fingertips as the reins brushed the calluses on her hands – it was a familiar feeling, that reminded her of the first time Reina had taken her flying, of the tears she had cried when she had watched the land from above.

«It isn’t a problem. I lived in a tower, I’m used to heights.» Ileana mumbled, her voice shaking when Zoe’s heels dug into the kinshi’s side and the bird took off, white wings beating the air.

«A tower?» Zoe inquired absentmindedly, ever curious: she had heard about the pinnacles of Krakenburg, but she had also heard that the Nohrian castle controlled the city from its bowels, and not from above it…

Ileana kept quiet, and Zoe realized she had taken a false step.

“ _Gods, I’m such an idiot!_ ” she grimaced. Ileana had probably let that detail slip, distracted by Katsu’s take-off, but she should have just let that slide: it was obvious that asking her anything about her home or her family was the worst possible way to earn her trust.

«…sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. It’s none of my business.» she apologized after a handful of silent minutes, looking around to glance at Ileana once Katsu’s flight stabilized.

Ileana looked like she was trying her best to ignore her, but Zoe could see the gleam of enthusiasm in her green eyes – it would have been impossible to miss, given how dark and desolate they had looked until then. Zoe felt her lips curve in a smile, congratulating herself for the idea of taking her up there: Ileana looked a lot more comfortable now, drifting away among the clouds…

«…well, you seemed a lot more talkative when I first met you, but first impressions aren’t always correct.» she commented, trying not to snicker when she felt the Nohrian Princess fidget in response to her irony.

Zoe lazily pulled on the reins to head higher, and Katsu gladly dove into an updraft. The sudden change in altitude made her head lighter and her stomach drop – _Gods, she loved flying_. She raised an arm, pointing to a mountain range in the distance to the north, reaching for the cold Hoshidan sky.

«See those mountains? The Fire Tribe lives on the highest peak. I’ve been there, when I was younger. That was the first time I saw snow falling.» she narrated, smiling as she remembered what the snowflakes melting on her skin had felt like, the pristine white coat that stretched as far as the eye could see, the cold winds that had clawed at her throat.

Ileana leaned, curious. «Really?»

Zoe nodded. «Yep. Snow is rare in Hoshido, and even rarer in Shirasagi.» Zoe answered, and she was positive that the Princess could hear the sorrow in her voice. «I liked it. I didn’t have the chance to play, but it was really beautiful.»

She shook her head, shaking her head to shed memories so distant, they felt more like dreams than past realities. She made Katsu turn to the west, towards the Great Wall that towered above the forest. She midday Sun gave it a golden shine.

«From here you can see Suzanoh, too.» she went on explaining, desperate to fill the silence, and not really to get an answer from the uncommunicative Dark Mage. «That Wall has shielded Hoshido from every kind of attack, in the past centuries. I… don’t like it. It makes people feel small, and I’m not really used to it.»

Ileana seemed to grow restless at the sight. «That’s where we were, isn’t it?»

Zoe nodded. «Yes. It’s the last line of defense of the capital.»

«So… it’s far from Nohr.»

The Samurai looked at her hands, feeling her chest tighten when she detected the hidden pain in Ileana’s flat words.

«…yes, it is.» she admitted, knowing perfectly that there was no easy way to tell her that she was as far away from home as she could be. «To reach Nohrian lands, one must travel all the way back from Suzanoh to the Bottomless Canyon. I think it takes a least over a week, from where we are now.»

«Oh.»

Zoe sighed and resumed her impromptu guided flight, because she _needed_ to distract her mind from trying to imagine what that scared girl could be going through. «See that? Those are Castle Shirasagi’s roofs. When I was fifteen, Hinata and I climbed all the way up there. It took us an hour, and our masters scolded us when they found out, but it was worth it.»

Oh, boy, Saizo’s screams had been memorable that time: he had taken a pegasus to reach that high to get her down, and he _hated_ flying – and thank the Gods he had arrived only when Hinata and her had already—

She shook her head, trying to banish a whole different kind of memories because it was everything but the moment to blush like a teenage girl right there and then.

«From there, one can even see the storms of the Canyon, if the sky is clear.» she went on, hoping that her interruption went unnoticed.

«Is it that high?»

«It is. I don’t know how it was even possible to build something that high – or big. I still don’t know how many rooms we have, and I’ve lived there since I was a baby.»

Ileana nodded curtly and returned to her mutism.

Zoe sighed, shifting on the saddle and letting her eyes roam the endless blue that surrounded them. She didn’t know what to do. She understood Ileana’s reticence, she really did – had she been in her place, she would have done that and more to keep the people she loved safe. But how to help her, how to distracter her from the poisonous thoughts that were surely buzzing in her head? Zoe groaned.

_Damn it all, she was good with animals, not with people!_

She sighed. Maybe she was tackling the situation in the wrong way: losing her mind trying to understand what could help the girl with the desolate green eyes right behind her on the saddle wasn’t yielding results. She had to change her approach.

So… what did she do, when she couldn’t think straight, when the buzz of her thoughts became deafening, when the weight upon her shoulders became so great that it blinded her to anything else?

She absent-mindedly caressed Katsu’s feathers, admiring the complex shiny patters they created as she ruffled them. And then she smiled, calling herself an idiot for not thinking of it sooner. She shot a hopeful glance to the Princess.

_What did she do, when the world grew too tight?_

«Hey, you know what?» she asked, not really minding the umpteenth silence; she gripped the reins and squeezed her knees.

Katsu knew what it all meant and let out a shrill, joyful cry.

_When the world grew too tight, she took to the skies_.

«…hold on tight.»

Ileana made it just in time to grip the kinshi’s saddle before he folded his wings against his sides, tipped his head and dove.

The Princess’ surprised cry was lost to the deafening winds. They plummeted down, swift as a white arrow, and Zoe laughed when adrenaline shot through her system as she watched the ground drawing nearer and nearer – too near, too fast. The cold air filled her eyes with tears and her stomach somersaulted when Katsu spread his wings only a few meters away from the ground. He flew nap-of-the-earth only for a moment, then threw himself into another updraft to regain height.

Zoe turned around, a stupidly exhilarated smile on her lips. She burst into laughter when she found herself facing the wild-eyed Princess.

«Don’t say I didn’t warn you.» she remarked with a smile when Ileana looked back at her.

«You… that…» she stuttered, eyes wide and skin pale… and then, after taking a deep breath of clear cold air, she burst out laughing; she unclenched her fingers from the saddle to hold her middle as she laughed, her cheeks alight with tear-tracks much like Zoe’s.

«I was half-expecting another session of your colorful insults, Princess.» the Samurai snickered, happy she got the reaction she was hoping for. She tilted her head to hear that laughter better, burn it in her mind and let it soothe all the memories and worries that had haunted her for days.

«THAT WAS AWESOME!» Ileana cheered, oblivious to Zoe’s thoughts, but blushed furiously when she realized she was being stared at. She looked away. «Oh, uh, I mean…»

Zoe grinned. «Wanna do that again?» she proposed, and Ileana’s hopeful gaze was all the answer she needed.

«Y-you shouldn’t tire your bird on my account.» the Princess tried to object.

Zoe just looped the reins around her wrists. «Katsu enjoys this even more than you do.» she reassured her, leading the kinshi bird even higher up, until the Queen’s entourage was nothing more than a line of ants on the paved road.

She looked up, enjoying the Sun’s warmth and letting that instant of still perfection surround her – with its clear cold air skim her skin her clothes, its gusts rhythmic as ocean’s waves.

_The world could feel too tight, but the sky was endless_.

«And so do I.» she added.

And then it was only the wind’s roar, Katsu’s shrill ecstatic cry, Ileana’s own yelp.

«WOAH! Give a woman a warning!» she exclaimed as soon as she was able to catch her breath, brushing her tangled hair out of her face.

Zoe fought back a smile, securing the reins to the saddle and looking at her over her own shoulder. «Sorry.» she offered, but Ileana raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. «Okay, not so sorry.» she admitted.

The Princess snorted, shook her head. Then she leaned slightly to the side, eyeing the kinshi’s feathery neck. «So… Katsu, huh?»

«Yep! This baby is one of the fastest kinshi in all of Hoshido. I took care of him since he was nothing more than a featherless chick, but now he’s our breeders’ joy and Reina’s mount.» Zoe rambled, her pride for the bird unmistakable in her voice.

Ileana didn’t seem bothered by it and gingerly reached out to pet his stark-white plumage. «I see. So as long as you are here, he won’t try to throw me off?»

«Right. He trusts me, like all of our kinshi birds. Whenever I got grounded, I had to tend to their nests.» Zoe almost bit her tongue, shivering when she remembered the long, eternal hours she had spent cleaning up the aviary. The kinshi birds had been her only company, and her audience for all her muttered insults to Saizo. «You said you’re not good around animals. Is that because you’re a mage? My mom has the same problem, you know.» she had worded her question carefully, so it wouldn’t sound bad.

The Princess nodded, deeming it a safe enough question to answer: «I suppose. If animals aren’t used to magic, they won’t come anywhere near me.» 

Zoe could tell she was frustrated by that – she herself couldn’t picture her life without Katsu or Robusuta, the stray puppy she had given to Ryoma so many years ago, or without the many little critters she kept bringing home, much to Orochi’s dismay…

«Katsu is relatively used to magicians, and so are our pegasi.» she supplied, remembering her mother’s exasperated expression at the injured squirrel she had brought home just a month back. «I’ve heard of a rare breed that actually lets magicians ride them.» she added absentmindedly, just thinking out loud.

«…I’m familiar.»

Zoe almost broke her neck for how fast she whirled her head around in surprise. «Really? Man, I envy you. I’ve never seen one.» she moaned, all too aware of the awed expression she had to have – the black pegasi were so rare they were a _legend_! She would give her sword hand just to see one – oh, and the wyverns, in Nohr they rode _wyverns_ , and…

…and then she bit her tongue, realizing that her enthusiasm had made her say the wrong thing again: Ileana’s lips were pursed, her eyes downcast. Once more, the Princess looked like a forlorn, ice-cold porcelain doll – beautiful but unapproachable, as if there was a glass between them, just like those at the shops that Zoe had made eyes at from the windows when she was a child.

«…and here we go with the silent treatment again. Not that I blame you, mind you.» she groaned, striving not to growl. She brought her eyes back on the endlessness around them: there were a few clouds to the east that seemed to promise a storm… but then her trained eyes made out two spots, drawing closer, the Sun making them occasionally glare bright white… «Ah, mention the kitsune…» she grumbled when she recognized the majestic wings of a pegasus beating the sky and the dazzling whiteness of a scarf flapping in the wind.

_Hinoka_.

Ileana looked past her shoulder, mildly curious, eying her with a question in her green irises when she couldn’t understand what the Samurai meant.

Zoe chewed the inside of her cheek. «That’s a pegasus. Princess Hinoka’s, to be precise… she must have become impatient of waiting for our return, I suppose.»

She had been dreading that meeting: she could already picture Hinoka’s impulsive, elated reaction at finally, _finally_ seeing the little sister she had sacrificed everything to… which was going to coax and everything but a delighted reaction from the Nohrian Princess.

Ileana’s brow furrowed. «…why?»

Zoe would have given her sword arm to be somewhere else – anywhere else – and not having to answer to that question. «Well… she’s Ryoma’s younger sister, but she’s older than me and—» she halted when Takumi’s name almost tumbled past her lips, making something in her chest screech.

_Takumi had never forgiven Hinoka for deserting him_.

Hinoka had chosen the path of the warrior years ago, for the lost little sister she had grieved so much: she had become one of the most formidable Falcon Knights of Hoshido, she was respected by her allies and feared by her enemies… but the price she had to pay for her dedication had been the little brother that had found himself cast aside in the name of a memory.

Zoe remembered all too clearly how hurt Takumi had been. She remembered the muffled sobs of a little boy who had been forsaken because of a sister he couldn’t even remember. She remembered how tightly he had held her, how his tears had rolled on her skin every time he had hidden his pain in her neck, in the dead of night…

She clenched her fists, telling herself that the tears pricking her eyes were due to the height.

“ _Gods, I beg you… return my brother to me._ ”

«Anyway, she remembers you, that’s all. Maybe that’s why she’s flying over the castle like a hawk, she must be eager to see you again.» she grumbled, perhaps with less tact than she should have – running a hand through her hair when she felt Ileana stiffen.

«I… I don’t…» the Princess stuttered.

Zoe sighed. She forced it all down, set aside those painful memories and put on her serene blank mask, trying to smile encouragingly to the the scared girl riding behind her. «Hey, don’t worry. If you don’t want to talk to her, she’ll respect your needs. She’s quite the reserved one, too.» she offered, worrying at how tightly the Princess’ hands were grasping the saddle, at how her eyes seemed to be tied to the approaching pegasus. «I’ll… I’ll tell her, if you want. She’s a friend, she’ll listen to me.»

«No!» Ileana barked, pale as a ghost.

Zoe didn’t take her harshness to heart – she didn’t want to take anything to heart anymore, to be honest. She just wanted to go home to Sakura and Hana and ask Hinata if he wanted to have dinner with her and her mother…

«…as you wish, Princess.» she sighed with a shrug before waving at the Hoshidan Princess, who was only a few yards away by now. «Hinoka, hey!» 

The redhead smiled broadly as her pegasus glided at the kinshi’s side. «Ah, there you are! Did you steal Katsu again?» she teased, looking at her with that affection and kindness that Zoe had always found impressive, given the ruthless soldier she could be.

«Hey, I asked this time!» she forced a smile back – because Hinoka hadn’t done anything wrong and shouldn’t shoulder her sadness.

The eldest Hoshidan Princess had always been exceptionally fond of her: she had taught her to ride a pegasus, to care for it, and she had even covered for her when she had skipped training to see Hinata. Zoe would have done anything to spare her – and Ileana – the awful, unpleasant and embarrassing meeting that was about to happen…

…but she could only stare when Hinoka’s gaze travelled from her to Ileana, and her smile faded instantly.

“ _What the—!?_ ”

Ileana took a deep breath, and the Samurai could picture her straighten her clothing and square her shoulders – she was doing exactly what she and Kaze had done up to that point, after all: hiding behind masks, playing roles not to go mad…

«Greetings, Princess Hinoka. I’m—»

But Ileana’s steady, formal voice lost itself in the wind when Hinoka cut her off without sparing her a second glance, addressing Zoe instead.

«Takumi and Ryoma? Are they with Mother?» she asked her, ignoring the Dark Mage’s baffled expression and the Samurai’s bewildered one – _what was going on this time?!_

«Well… yes, they are, but…» Zoe stammered in disbelief: Hinoka had devoted her whole life to Ileana! She had sacrificed everything to her, she had steeled herself and tempered herself into a strong, brave warrior… and now she wasn’t even looking at her?

Hinoka nodded, completely overlooking the general confusion and studying the ground below. «Good. You can go ahead, Setsuna is right behind me. She’ll escort you to the palace.» she instructed.

Zoe had to cling to her stubbornness to fight the instinct to just obey – so Saizo had managed to teach her something after all – to shake her head, to object. «But wait, don’t you—» she attempted to say, but Hinoka cut her off raising her hand.

«I’ll see you later, Zoe. Now go, I’ll inform the others.» she smiled reassuringly at her, and Zoe could do nothing but stare as the redhead led her pegasus in a dive even more reckless than Katsu’s – red hair burning in the Sun and scarf whipping the winds.

Zoe couldn’t utter a word for what felt like an eternity. She couldn’t stomach the indifference that bordered discourtesy shown by Hinoka – _Hinoka_ , for crying out loud, the same Hinoka that had always said to fight for her lost sister, who had thrown aside a life of comfort to become strong enough to get her little sister back. Zoe had spent years training with her, side by side, and now… she couldn’t believe that Hinoka… that she had…

«…royalty is going nuts.» the Samurai gritted her teeth when she heard an annoyed snort in response from behind her.

«How so? It just looks like you were right to me.» was Ileana’s flat comment.

«Yeah, it suppose it does, but…» she tried, but realized that explaining to Ileana why she was so shaken by Hinoka’s behavior would be useless, not to mention counterproductive. So she just sighed, running a hand through her hair and shrugging with exhaustion. She shot one last glance to the redheaded Princess who had just landed at her eldest brother’s side. «…maybe she just didn’t know what to say.» she mumbled, unable to find any other explanation for the idiocy that seemed to be spreading to the royal family.

Another heavy, overwhelming silence was her only answer.

Zoe groaned, vexed not so much by the Nohrian girl herself rather than from the whole situation. She took hold of Katsu’s reins, scouting the skies for Setsuna’s lean kinshi somersaulting in the distance. «Well, let’s just go. Katsu is getting tired.»

 

«Here we are, Ileana. Come on in, dear.» the Queen smiled, beckoning her inside.

Ileana took two small steps inside, warily looking around. She kept herself close to the wall while she let her eyes dart to all the corners of the room, instinctively scouting out any potential traps or hiding places that could be used for ambush. She found none. The place smelled nice too – clean, with no trace of dampness – and there was a nice big window.

She tiptoed further in. The room was… surprisingly small, all things considered. Smaller than she expected. And quite messier than she expected. There were drawings scattered over the floor, and objects she could only describe as toys crowding every shelf. That definitely didn’t look like a room suitable to host a foreign diplomat. She pursed her lips.

The Queen had to notice her confusion – her disappointment at being, once again, not treated as her station required – and quickly supplied: «This is your old room, sweetheart. Nothing has been touched since you were taken.»

Those words made Ileana cringe. She couldn’t help but take a step back, and bump into Zoe who was just stepping inside. The Dark Mage jumped at least a foot in the air and had to bite back a startled hiss – but the Samurai raised her hands in reassurance, something between curiosity, worry and annoyance in her crimson eyes.

A hand glued to the wall, Ileana forced herself to take deep, steadying breaths. The Queen stared at her with such concern, she had to look away to lie. «I’m… tired from the journey. The room will do.»

The woman seemed relieved to hear her say that, but there was still that touch of sadness in her dark eyes – was she really expecting her to… recognize anything of that place? Ileana thought it madness: she had never been there. And even if everything they had told her at the Great Wall was true, then why didn’t ‘her old room’ look a bit more… royal?

«Um, Your Majesty, I must ask… why are there two beds?»

Her question seemed to catch the Queen off-guard. «Oh, I… requested to add it. Yes.» that sounded like a lie, but Ileana decided not to argue. «I was thinking that perhaps you would have liked for Zoe to keep you company. I saw you two on Katsu today. It looked like you were having fun.»

Had she asked Zoe at all, Ileana wondered, feeling immediate disgust for the Queen’s affected words. If she had lied about adding the bed after noticing them on the kinshi, then it meant that Zoe was supposed to be glued to her from the start. And what if Zoe hadn’t liked her? Would that have even mattered? Would have anyone’s feelings even mattered – hers, Zoe’s – or was the Queen ready to trample them all just to get the long-lost-daughter act going as she wanted it to?

Ileana shook her head. It was too much. She didn’t know what to believe anymore, she couldn’t tell truth and lie apart, good or ill intent. If she assumed the best, the Queen was being honest and simply wished for her to have a comforting presence in a strange place, and just hadn’t stopped to ask if it would be appreciated. If she assumed the worst, this was another of their mind games to turn her against her homeland – against Nohr.

Regardless, Ileana didn’t want to feel watched the whole time. «Actually, I would rather sleep alone, if possible.»

What hope was left in the Queen’s eyes went out. «O-oh. Of course. If that’s what you want.»

The Nohrian Princess felt sorry for her – assuming that her misery was real and not just fake, of course. But she couldn’t be sure of that, and she couldn’t take the risk of falling for a set-up. And she needed some time to herself. «It is. Thank you.»

«…you’re welcome, dear.»

Awkward, thick silence filled the room. Ileana stared at the floor while the Queen stared at her with those sorrowful eyes. The Dark Mage could feel their weight on her shoulders and felt her whole body grow so tense, she almost jumped when a probably exasperated Zoe cleared her throat loudly.

«Lady Mikoto… maybe we should leave Ileana to her rest, now?» she proposed, but there was an edge to her voice that made it sound much more like a warning than a suggestion.

The Queen sighed heavily. Her voice was crestfallen when she heeded the Samurai’s advice. «…yes. I’ll take my leave now. Would you mind helping Ileana settle?»

Zoe shook her head, her shoulders already looking a little less tense at the thought of being rid of the monarch. She probably couldn’t wait to be dismissed, it had been a long day for her too. «Of course not, milady. It will be a pleasure.»

«I’ll leave you girls to it, then. Good night, dear Zoe. Good night, sweetie.»

Ileana’s hands balled into fists when she willed that pleading voice to glide right past her. «Good night, Your Majesty.»

«Good night, milady.» Zoe echoed, formal and stiff, a hand on the door she shut as politely as possible when the Queen finally walked out. The click of the latch made both girls sigh in relief. «…thank the Gods she’s gone.»

«You can go, if you like. You must be tired too. I don’t wish to keep you here against your will.» Ileana stated rigidly – she couldn’t blame Zoe for wanting to be rid of royalty. 

However, the Samurai just smiled, friendly. «I’m not tired, and I’m not here against my will.» she stated. The stunned look Ileana couldn’t help but shoot her had to be very noticeable, because she shook her head and added: «The Queen makes me feel… quite uncomfortable, that’s all.» she paused, as if looking for the right words to give her an explanation that Ileana hadn’t requested, but appreciated anyway – because her mind was already conjuring all kinds of creepy reasons why a monarch should make one of her direct subordinates that nervous. «I just don’t like being pitied. And she does, even if she is just trying to be kind. She’s thoughtful and caring, but I’m a warrior, not a fragile doll.» it was Zoe’s turn to stare in surprise. «…sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I suppose I’m a little tired after all, my mouth is running. Is there anything I can do for you?»

Ileana shook her head. She had grown up to mind most of her stuff by herself, hating the thought of being served those she considered more friends than maids. «I require little assistance. Just tell me where everything is, and I’ll handle it myself. I’m used to it.»

It took very little time for Zoe to show her around: the room was pretty small after all, with little more than a bed, a closet, a couple of drawers, a desk, and a door to a private little bathroom. The bed was one of those floor-level Hoshidan beds Ileana had only read about in books, the closet was filled to the brim with child’s clothing of different colors and fabrics, the drawers were a mess of vibrant glass inkwells and soft brushes and unblemished rice-paper, and the desk was barren only because everything that should have been on the desk laid scattered on the floor. At the very least, the little bathroom was sparkling clean.

Ileana sighed. There was absolutely nothing she liked of that room. The creepy red-masked toys were the worst of it all. She couldn’t wait to be alone to shove them in the closet so she’d never have to see them again.

«And that’s about it.» Zoe finished with a smile. «Need anything else? Cup of tea, maybe?»

A warm drink sounded tempting, but some alone-time sounded even better. Ileana shook her head, feeling it spin. «No need to trouble yourself. I don’t need anything else. And you’re tired.»

The Samurai looked like she wanted to argue, but a haughty glare from the Nohrian Princess made her reconsider. «…well, then, I’ll leave you to your rest.» she bowed deeply. «Good night. I hope you’ll sleep well, Lady Ileana.»

That heartfelt wish made the Princess’ contemptuous mask falter. «Oh, uh… thanks. Y-you sleep well too.»

Zoe smiled at that glimpse of humanity. «Thank you.» she whispered, and then left, lithe and silent as a shadow.

When she closed the door behind her, Ileana finally breathed.

_Alone_.

For the first time since her capture, she was actually alone. When she travelled to the Great Wall, there was a whole column of soldiers to keep their eyes on her. In Suzanoh, there were the guards stationed at her cell, Kaze from the shadows. After meeting the Queen, there were Kaze, Zoe, or that red-headed ninja who always looked as angry as Camilla’s favorite spicy steak sauce.

But now there were no eyes on her – she knew it, knew that they were all gone. She could feel it, had been trained to feel when she was being watched, and now she wasn’t.

It… probably wasn’t going to last. This was most likely a temporary respite, and soon she would be put under surveillance again, day and night and night and day. She couldn’t blame them: she was volatile in their eyes, something that could be an asset just as much as a threat. She had to keep things that way for as long as she could – because as long as they saw her as a potentially cooperative asset, all she had to worry about where the mind games to lure her to their side.

She decided to make the most of it while she could, and headed for the little bathroom. There was a wash tub that had been brought in before her arrival, but she could see no flames underneath it – and as she predicted, the water was almost cold when she dipped her hand in. Well, never mind, she wasn’t in the mood for a bath after all; washing the days of travel off her skin would have to suffice. She sighed, undressed and picked up a sponge, tugging at the knots in her mind to loosen them enough to get some sleep.

It all boiled down to two options, really. Either the Hoshidans were lying, or they weren’t. If they were lying, she herself and everything she loved were in mortal danger. If they weren’t, she was probably safer than ever but her entire life had been a lie. She didn’t know which option she liked best.

Most importantly though, she had no way to know the truth for certain. She had too many unanswered questions. All she could do now was wait – wait until she found a way to gather more information, and trust no one in the mean time. She had to question everything anyone was going to tell her for the days to come as she tried to figure things out. She couldn’t trust anyone, couldn’t drop her guard.

It was a daunting thought, but she knew it wasn’t a situation that was going to last that long: Xander would write soon. Yes, Xander would come soon and she would get all her answers. She just had to hold on a little longer. She could do it.

Ileana dropped the sponge back into the tub. She did feel better, and more tired too. She needed to sleep: she wouldn’t be able to process any information if she didn’t get some decent sleep, now that she somewhere warm and comfortable.

So she returned to the room, wrapped tightly in a towel. She went to the closet: it was mostly filled with children clothing, but there were some fresh changes of clothes that looked like they could be her size. They were, of course, all white. So whoever had been charged with providing them didn’t share Zoe’s thoughtfulness, she grimaced. The ivory nightgown almost burned in her hand as she examined it. She would like to throw it in the tub, but instead, she put it on – she wasn’t sure when ninjas would come creeping back, and she definitely didn’t want to be caught unclothed just because she wanted to make a point.

It was a beautiful nightgown, that she couldn’t deny. All made of delicate silk, with embroideries of pale pink cherry flowers. It seemed somewhat light considering that they were in the Snow season, but she had already noticed that Hoshido was considerably less cold than Nohr. It had to do with the Eastern Ocean, not too far away from Shirasagi: it mitigated even the most bitter chill, and Zoe had indeed mentioned that snow was rare in Hoshido. She shut the closet – though not before shoving in there all those creepy red-masked toys; she’d worry about cleaning up the rest of the mess tomorrow.

Ileana rubbed her face, then eyed the bed warily. Floor level. That couldn’t be comfortable at all, she decided. It didn’t matter if it was a Hoshidan thing, sleeping on the floor seemed… unsanitary. She began to pace the room, stopping as soon as she stepped near the window. She moved the curtains and looked up.

She wondered how the Hoshidans could live under such a bleak night sky. Not even half the stars that shone so bright upon Nohr were visible – their daylight was lush and bright, sure, but she’d take the eternal overcast a thousand times over the starless night. The Moon, at least, was shining extraordinarily bright, and it was perfectly visible from the window. And the windowsill was wide enough to be a comfortable nook.

It took her only a second to make up her mind, and only a few more heartbeats to rip all the blankets from the bed and cocoon herself into them – only after shaking them to get any dust out of them. Sooner than she thought, she was curled up on the windowsill, leaning against the glass. It was cool under her skin and helped her breathe. She looked up at the Moon again, its reflection bright in her green eyes.

Niles would hate Hoshidan nights, she considered absentmindedly, and she felt herself fall apart.

Niles. Odin, Laslow, Selena. Jakob, Flora, Felicia. Gunter. They had all played their part in her life while she was growing up, along with her brothers and sisters.

Niles had trained her with the bow and taught her stealth. It had been a difficult friendship, given how much they had hated each other for years – from when she was eleven to when she had turned sixteen, if she remembered correctly. She was positive that the only thing that had kept him from snapping half her bones to make her move as lithely as he wanted her too had been Leo. They had overcome their misconceptions, eventually, and that was when he had taught her about stars.

Odin had been her respite, her playmate. He used to act out epic tales with her for hours, sometimes for entire days when his siblings were staying the night at the Northern Fortress. She had had a crush on him for a while. She couldn’t imagine what her life would have been without him.

Laslow and his dance lessons to teach her the forms that Xander simply couldn’t make her learn during their training sessions. She had always loathed swordplay because she was appalling at it, but Laslow had made it bearable enough – also because he always treated her and Felicia to tea after they were done. Whatever grace she had, she owed it to him.

Selena had taken her hunting, twice or thrice. She had taught her how to kill. Ileana had hated her for it, had screamed and flailed and cried. Selena had let her freak out, holding her until she was done. She had told her that it was right to find it disgusting, but that she had to learn to cope with it because one day, she would be part of an army, and killing would become an everyday occurrence. She couldn’t go throwing tantrums in the middle of battle. In time Ileana had heeded her words, learned the wisdom in them, and apologized. And then, when Selena had been forced to hide at the Northern Fortress because of the baby, Ileana had done all she could to repay her by being a good host – and a babysitter, if need be.

Jakob was both her friend and foe. He had spoiled her rotten and taken care of her with a zeal that outshone even Gunter’s, and she was grateful for it. However, he also had the horrid habit of reporting to Xander – especially when he thought she was up to something. One time in particular, she had planned to sneak out of the Northern Fortress to go to the Festival of Masks with her sisters, and he had blabbed all about it to Xander. She had been caught and sent to her room before she could even set foot out of the citadel. Since then, she had ceased to consider him a companion, but still cared for him dearly.

Flora and Felicia had been her real companions, her accomplices. They had started their own little book club, taught her to cook and sew and clean – well, that had been mostly Flora, because Felicia was terrible at chores. They also used to freeze the floor of the main hall so that they could ice-skate. And whenever Ileana would fall ill, Felicia would be at her side to keep her fever at bay, completely oblivious to the possibility of being infected herself.

Gunter had been the first – before Xander and before Jakob, he had been there to keep her safe and play with her. They had played everything, especially hide-and-seek. And sometimes she’d hide so well, the only way for him to lure her out was proposing to play catch. 

Niles. Odin, Laslow, Selena. Jakob, Flora, Felicia. Gunter. Xander, Camilla, Leo, Elise. Had… had they all lied to her, all her life? Had they faked every word, smile, hug? If the Hoshidans weren’t lying…

She exhaled a sob, the Moon’s reflection rippling in her eyes as tears filled them.

No, no. She couldn’t think that way. Benefit of the doubt, for anyone and anything. She had to keep her mind open and her eyes and ears attentive. She had to trust no one and keep her guard high up. She had to soak every bit of information to make things make sense, and be careful not to let slip anything – just in case. She just had to wait.

It was going to be trying, and exhausting, and distressing. She knew that. She felt like her heart was being ripped and crushed at the same time. Ileana looked at the Moon again.

«Goodnight.» she whispered.

She had done that regularly, when she was still in her tower and her brothers and sisters were far away. She entrusted her wish to the wind and let it bring it to them. Now there was no wind to carry her her love to them, but she hoped they could feel it anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nohr's greatest schemer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _(Amharic)_   
>  _A person who spends all their time devising and setting up devious schemes from which they might benefit, usually at the expense of others =_

**❝Ttonkolenyo❞**

* * *

 

From the balcony just out of one of the side chambers lining the Throne room, Iago watched intently the hustle and bustle of activity raging in the courtyard round Castle Krakenburg.

War horses of different shades of brown and gray stood in formation, two riders on their backs – a Bow Knight, Dark Knight, Great Knight or Strategist mounted in front of a Hero, Berserker, Sorcerer or Adventurer. Wyvern Lords and Malig Knights accompanied by Maids and Butlers and Generals occasionally circled the towers of the castle, growing restless when aground, though their human companions were striving not to tire them out before they took to the skies for the march.

All were ready to ride, to fly – to fight, swords and axes and tomes and bows and lances and daggers at the ready, strapped to the mounts’ saddles and to the riders’ sides. Iago could feel their eagerness building, stoked by the bold words the Crown Prince roared at them while pacing astride his horse in front of the lines of his army.

They were all there, on their pitch black stallion and mares and wyvern. Even from that distance, Iago could feel the worry etched in the Princes’ brows, the distress weighing on the Princesses’ lips. It was a gorgeous sight.

Their anguish had been palpable since that servile Butler of sweet little Ileana had all but barged in the Crown Prince’s study, still on his horse, spouting all sorts of nonsense about a royal Sniper, a collapsing bridge and an implied death sentence. Luckily, Hans had been there to translate it all: the fourth Princess of Nohr had failed to activate a Dragon Vein and let herself fall in the clutches of a Hoshidan patrol.

The King’s order – that they were to depart at once, taking the portion of the army that they had prepared to take over the fort, and rush to the aid of the abducted Princess – had done little to ease the agony in the eyes of his children. And Iago had been enjoying every minute, if not second, of that agony.

Precious Elise hadn’t lost her smile, but her voice sounded more pitched, as if she was stretched thin between her flamboyant, joyous character and the unnatural sense of urgency and dread that seemed to have devoured her family whole. She was way too innocent to understand exactly what was at stake, but the general anxiety was taking his toll on her.

Princess Camilla had been doting on all of her siblings to soothe their restlessness, her worry making her cling to her their side even more than usual… but when caught all alone, her eyes seethed a cold, burning anger, a jagged fury she couldn’t wait to unleash on those who had touched but a strand of her sweet sister’s hair.

Prince Leo had grown even more silent than usual, and there were dark circles under his eyes – not the kind of circles one got for spending the night reading. Grim thoughts and nightmares of what the Hoshidans were doing to his dearest little Dark Mage were keeping him up, without a doubt. He was far too aware that their chances of finding her alive were growing slimmer by the second.

Prince Xander had worked restlessly to ready his soldiers for the march as soon as possible – and now they stood, lined up to ride, only two days after the Butler’s arrival. Of all his siblings, the Crown Prince bore the most haunted of looks – because only he knew that it wasn’t just Ileana’s life he had to fear for, but her betrayal as well. He knew they wouldn’t just press her for information… he knew they would tell her of Cheve

He knew they would tell her that Nohr wasn’t her home, that those she had called brothers and sisters all her life weren’t her family. That thought was eating him alive, and while he hid it well, it could be glimpsed in the tremble in hands before he steadied them on his divine sword, if one knew what to look for.

Iago smiled. Of course, he could have told the Crown Prince that his deepest fears were unfounded – that his _little rose_  was not only safe and unharmed, but also loyal to those she still considered family, and that she was waiting for him. He coud have told him of the scroll the Queen of Hoshido had sent through magic on her behalf.

But had he told him, the Crown Prince wouldn’t have headed out with an army, opting for a diplomatic party instead. And King Garon wouldn’t get the war he craved – the war that he, his faithful and resourceful Iago, had spent so much time preparing. So of course, he hadn’t breathed a word about the message.

Oh, he couldn’t wait to see how the family reunion would play out. He had already equipped Hans with one of his projection crystals, so that he could summon a shadow of himself from the very castle to witness everything in person – and he was sure that the Berserker would activate it without fail: after all, that man was as stupid as he was excellent at doing what he was told to, provided that there was some blood to spill in for him.

Iago turned away from the courtyard as the troops roared, hooves and wings beating the ground and skies. He wished them a swift journey: he, too was eager to have sweet little Ileana back home, once again safe within the walls of Krakenburg.

“ _…well, maybe not that safe._ ” he considered, a predatory smile gracing his lips.

Poor, poor _little rose_. She had so tragically failed the King’s test. How he couldn’t wait to show her exactly what that entailed.


End file.
